A Beautiful, Excellent Ad From Axe Body Wash, Of All Things

In my quest to find those few advertisements out there that are not annoying, but are well-crafted, get-you-in-the-gut emotional, artistic and memorable, you'd never guess where I found one this week.

Why is this "North Korean leader" smirking?
Watch the ad below and find out. 

It came from Axe.

Yep, Axe bodywash and cleaning products for men, that sometimes maligned product that supposedly appeals to Bros, young guys who think they are Hot Shit.

The ad, which you can see at the bottom of this post,  doesn't explicitly promote Axe. Instead the company appears to be participating in a project that promotes world peace.  They ask that you "Share Kiss For Peace."

The ad is apparently going to be Axe's Super Bowl offering.

The ad, with its artful cinemetography and simple musical score, shows us scenes that evoke the worst of the world's hatred, war and oppression. You watch it and think Chechnya. Vietnam. North Korea. Middle Eastern terrorists.

The tension builds as things appear headed toward a violent head. The "North Korean leader" is rallying his troops. A tank takes aim at a lone, brave young woman in "Chechnya." Helicopters, with soldiers bearing assault weapons, swoop down on scared families in "Vietnam." The "Middle Eastern terrorist leader" is about to detonate a huge bomb, or so it seems.

Then....well, watch the ad (Which frankly brought tears to my eyes) and marvel:

Jason Brown Might Be Really The Person To Watch At The Winter Olympics

Last week, at the U.S. Figure Skating Championship, which pretty much determined who goes to the Winter Olympics next month in Sochi, figure skating women seemed to take center stage in the media, like they usually do.

Jason Brown, accurately it turns out,
seemed pleased with his free skate
performance last week at the U.S. Championships.  

Which is fine.

But judging from the video, below, I think one of the men, Jason Brown, was overlooked. He's on the team and headed for Sochi, obviously, since he put on such a good show.

He's also young and somewhat untested, but judging from Brown's free skate at last week's championship, all I can say is Wow.

And I'm not a big fan of figure skating. But between Brown's performance and is OMG smile at the end of the routine, I'm hooked and want to keep watching him.

You will, too. Here's the video:

If Taste Were Visual, This Is How It Would Look: Incredible Video

There's a British spice company called Schwartz that wanted to promote its new line of "Flavour Shots" spices and did so brilliantly.

A still from a brilliant British spice advertisement 

They put explosions of spices in sinc with piano music to just wonderful, mesmerizing effect in their ad.

The awesome video is below:

"Non-Newtonian Fluid" Lets You Walk On Water

If any of you have a Jesus complex out there, have I got a product for you!

Like walking on water: A person plays on something
called non-Newtonian fluid.  

It's called "non-Newtonian fluid." (The things you discover when you're bored and wandering aimlessly around the Internet!)

Apparently, non-Newtonian fluid is a fluid that changes its viscosity whe you apply force to it, like hitting, shaking or jumping on it. This sudden application of stress makes the fluid get thicker and act like a solid.

This knowledge is not new. Scientists and others have pretty much been familiar with this phenomenon forever, practically.

What is new, at least new to me, is that people have now been using non-Newtonian fluid for fun and games.  People fill pools with stuff, it mixes with water and becomes non-Newtonian fluid.

I wonder if it's cheap to buy this stuff.  Apparently you can mix water and cornstarch to make a non-Newtonian fluid but you need a lot of it to get enough to have any fun.

It would certainly make a backyard swimming pool more interesting in the summer.

It looks really cool and fun, quite frankly, as the video below indicates:

Barry Manilow's "Mandy" Has Me Longing For WAYYY Overproduced Radio Hits

Hat tip for David Fortuna, via Facebook, to remind me that Barry Manilow's big song "Mandy" was Number One on the charts on this week back in 1975.

Barry Manilow preparing to blow us away
with "Mandy"  

Yes, there were a lot of hit songs in the 1970s, as there always are, so what's the big deal?

The big deal is that "Mandy" is the best example there is of what I call "Big Deal" songs, which because of my odd brain, I find extremely funny.

"Big Deal" songs like Mandy have a formula. They start off pretty mellow and build, and build and build, to this huge, way overproduced crescendo at the end, full of orchestration, a soaring chorus and the lead vocalist just screaming in agony or something.

Think of Mandy, if you dare.  Especially the ending. "And I NEED YOOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!"

I don't mean to pick on Barry Manilow. He's iconic. He's written a ton of really great pop songs. And lyrically, "Mandy" actually isn't that bad. He does nicely capture the heartache of a lost love:

Here's an example:

"I remember all my life
Raining down as cold as ice
Shadows of a man
A face through a window, crying in the night
The night goes into
Morning, just another day.
Happy people pass my way
Looking in their eyes
I see a memory. 
I never realized how happy you made me."

 Like I said. Very good lyrics for a pop song. But still, I find myself laughing every time I hear "Mandy" as Manilow becomes part of this huge Federal Project of a musical number at the end.

Here's a video of Barry Manilow singing "Mandy" and enjoy the big crashing end. After that, below the video, I have even more fun Big Thoughts about Big Deal songs. I swear I'm going to start a fan club.




There are other examples that I find just as funny. The 1970s were a real heyday for Big Deal songs.
Rivaling "Mandy"  was Harry Nilsson's "Without You."

Like "Mandy," "Without You" is a wonderful, passionate pop song. But it holds to that formula of agonized singing, string chorusus and a tragiocomic chorus in the background that makes me laugh every time.

In the 1980s, the best example of a Big Deal song is probably "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" by Bonnie Tyler.  It was made even better than the most ridiculously melodramatic music video in memory.

It was so extreme it inspired this parody video, a literal take on "Total Eclipse of The Heart with revamped lyrics. (Sample: "The gayest man on earth would call this over the top")

Watch the parody for a laugh:




Almost eclipsing "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" in the 1980s was Air Supply, which cornered the market on Big Deal songs, especially with "Making Love Out of Nothing At All" complete with another over the top video.

Which of course inspired THIS hilarious parody:




While performers nowadays are often tempted into doing "Big Deal" performances (Just check out any episode of "American Idol")  Big Deal songs aren't a staple of radio anymore.  They haven't been, really, since we were screaming with Celine (Dion) in the 1990s.

I'm ready for a resurgence of Big Deal songs. All those American Idol winner should come out and blast our eardrums.

Or I can go around and sing the last minute or so of "Mandy" until everyone cries "Uncle"

Your choice.

Springsteen, Fallon Do Brilliant "Born To Run" Parody of Christie Bridge Scandal

Yes, this video has been all over the news this morning, but it's so funny I can't resist putting it in here.

Springsteen and Fallon take on Christie  

Jimmy Fallon and Bruce Springsteen got together to do a parody of the Springsteen "Born To Run" using the Chris Christie bridge scandal as a muse.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's administration is accused of blocking lanes to the busy George Washington Bridge as political retaliation against the mayor of Fort Lee, N.J. for not endorsing him.

It caused enormous traffic jams in Fort Lee

It's a huge deal.  And ridiculous, obviously.

So of course, we have lots of parody. Take it away, Fallon and Springsteen:

Fun Wacko Says Target Security Breach Was God's Revenge For Naughty Kmart Ad

I just love the logic of some of the more colorful, extreme religious wackos out there.

A still from the offending Joe Boxer ad.  

They do have some awesome theories.

Here's a doozy.

You know that huge security breach at Target, in which up to 110 million debit and credit card holders had information stolen?

Well, according to some guy names Buster Wilson, the security breach was because God was mad at Kmart for its, um, colorful "jingle bells" Christmas ad that promoted Joe Boxer underwear.

Buster (what a great first name for a wacko!) Tweeted this: "Target mocks Christmas with unseemly oe Boxer ad. Now suffering BIG TIME with data theft. Don't mock Jesus. just a suggestion."

You see, the Kmart ad was naughty, because it showed some hunky men with jingle bells attached to their, um shorts, and played a nice festive Christmas song to get you to buy Joe Boxer shorts.

The conservatives thought this was outrageous and morally reprehensible. OK, if you say so, fine. That's not the weird part.

If you liked the Joe Boxer ad, God hates you,
says Buster Wilson  

Where I, and everybody else lose Buster is why would God punish Target shoppers with a security breach because he was pissed off at the Kmart ad?

I'm sure most of the Target customers did not buy Joe Boxer products and most probably never went to Kmart.

I guess Buster here was confused about which retailer did the Jingle Bells ad. Kmart, Target, it's all the same.

 I get that.

I supposed all this is a variation of "The Gays Did It" meme that religious fundamentalist wackos say every time there's some sort of disaster.

Hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, droughts, terrorist attacks--they all happen because gay people exist, apparently.

Of course, I'm not sure why these disaster don't just kill gay people if God thinks being gay is so horrible. But I guess we're not supposed to use logic here.

My bad.