Friday, November 8, 2013

Rubber Duckie Is Now A Hall Of Famer

Since we've been in a childlike mood all week, I'm happy to report more good child type news: The venerable rubber duck has been inducted into the National Toy Hall Of Fame.  
Ernie from Sesame Street celebrates the
induction of the Rubber Duck into
the National Toy Hall of Fame.  


Every year, the Hall of Fame honors toys and games that have become an important part of American culture.

The oh-so-serious game of chess was inducted into the Toy Hall of Fame this year, too, but I'm fixated on the more frivolous rubber duck

(By the way, if you're really into toys, here, in alphabetical order, is all the items in the Toy Hall of Fame. )  

The National Toy Hall of Fame said the rubber duckie first made an appearance in the United States soon after Charles Goodyear's rubber innovations came to the fore.

By the 1940s, rubber ducks had become a regular visitor and childrens' bathtime. Then Ernie, from Sesame Street, came up with a happy little ditty about how he was awfully fond of his rubber duckie, and the rest is history.

Raise your hands: How many of you had a nice squeaky rubber duck when they were kids? How many of you still have one?

Here's Ernie doing his classic ode to the rubber duckie to get your Friday off on the right foot:



Thursday, November 7, 2013

This Six Year Old Dances Wayyyyy Better Than You Do

In today's installment of young kids who do everything better than you do, we meet a six year old dancer in some random video.

Just try what this kid is doing, folks:


Moron Of The Week Hits At Least Four Cars With Stolen SUV, Thinks He Can Get Away

Today we get from Chicago the less-than-heartwarming video of a guy driving a stolen black SUV who has just hit a taxi.
The black SUV hits a cab, on its way to
hitting several other cars as guy driving
stolen vehicle acts like a moron.  

The cabbie tries to stop the driver, even trying to bust out the passenger side window. The SUV driver decides to make a daring getaway!

Instead, he crashes into at least four cars. He does get away momentarily, but the reports are the cops naturally caught up with the loser. He faces multiple charges.  

So far they have not identified the jerk in the SUV.

The cab driver faces some discipline from his boss, but won't be fired. You're not supposed to confront morons like the SUV driver, says the boss. The cab driver is out of work for a week, too, while is cab is being fixed.

Here's the sad, sad video.  


Wednesday, November 6, 2013

"Much Loved" Old Teddy Bears Offer Poignant Photography, Comfortable Memories

Admit it.
Me, relaxing with my childhood teddy bear and
my favorite childrens'  book.  

You're probably an adult, and have been one for a long time.

But chances are, you still have the old teddy bear or other stuffed toy that, when you were little, could not be separated from, EVER.

And I bet you still would never part ways with Teddy. He's in your house somewhere, watching over you, protecting you, making you feel safe just like he did when you were three years old.

Along those lines, a photographer named Mark Nixon put together a book called "Much Loved" a collection of images showing very, very battered teddy bears and similar toys that had been hugged and hugged and hugged in times of childhood stress.

Their owners could never let go of these toys, even well into adulthood, and it's understandable why.

Here's what Nixon had to say about the project on the website BoingBoing:

"......I put the call out for people to bring in their much-loved teddies--the more loved, unwashed, and falling apart the better--to be photographed. I expeted it to be mostly children, but it soon became apparent that the idea appealed very much to adults, and that many of them were still very attached t their teddies. It was as though they had been keeping a long-held secret and could finally tell someone what their teddies really meant to them.

Their strength of feeling took me by surprise. While waiting they would tell some usually funny story about their teddy (How they had nearly lost it at some stage was a common theme) or would speak emotionally about what it meant to them. So the stories and memories became integral to the photographs, adding significance to them and bringing them to life."
Someone's childhood teddy bear
from the photography book "Much Loved"
 by Mark Nixon  


I can so relate to the people who had their teddy bears photographed by Nixon. I still have my childhood teddy bear, and I'm 51 years old.

Compared to the teddies in Nixon's photographs, mine's in pretty good shape. He still has his two golden eyes, and a brown button nose. His fur is matted with age, the bottoms of his white feet are dirty and his mouth is misshapen.

When I first had him, you could squeeze him and he'd say things like "I love you" but that feature broke a long, long time ago.

My teddy sits on a dresser drawer in the bedroom. He's joined by other child-like toys an items I collected as an adult. There's a stuffed Tasmanian devil, from Looney Tunes, that I bought more than two decades ago.

About four years ago, when I had to go into a surgery, my best friend Denis gave me a children's book called "The Gift Of Nothing" by Patrick McDonnell, which charmingly tells us the best thing we can give to our loved ones is time and friendship.

The book is most assuredly in that place of honor in my bedroom.  When I need a little encouragement after a setback that looms large but is really unimportant,  I read "The Gift of Nothing." It always helps immensely.

Lately, I've been obsessed with Minions from "Despicable Me," those cheerful, yellow pill shaped characters who happily soldier on despite all kinds of outlandish and humiliating mishaps

I'm not the least bit ashamed of having these childhood, or childlike items as important touchstones of my life.

We all have bad moments. We all have stress.  We keep our childhood teddy bears and add to our collection because we remember how we felt when Mom yelled at us, or classmate Susie said we were stinky, or we couldn't get the toy we wanted.
The toy panda bear photographer
Mark Nixon had when he was a kid.
He included it in his book "Much Loved"
which shows poignant images
of peoples' childhood teddy bears  

Teddy always made us feel better. We can hug something warm and fuzzy and everything was OK.

That's why a lot of us, as adults, have dogs, isn't it?  If I've had a busy, stressful day, I'll collapse onto the couch. Jackson the Cocker Spaniel will run up, leap up onto my lap and tell me to start giving him a back rub.

Yeah, it feels good to him, but it feels good to me, too. The backrub I give Jackson soothes me more than it soothes him.

It makes me feel like I did when I hugged my teddy bear as a toddler. I bet the you go through the same thing with your dog or cat, if you're lucky enough to have them in your house.

After a few minutes of back rubbing, Jackson leaps off my lap, deposits himself on the floor next to his favorite toy, looks at me, bright eyed and tail wagging and says "Woof!"

That means it's time to play, and chasing Jackson around the house with his toy buffalo or toy cow makes both of us feel great and erases any last vestiges of stress.

Just like when I was a three year old, and Teddy and I, climbing a small hill outside,  pretended we were conquering Everest.

So yes, all adults should have comforting playmates. They could be intelligent beings, like my dog Jackson, or an old teddy bear, or a children's book.

Some people might say clinging to such things is insane.

I say it's the most sane thing any adult could do.


Toronto Mayor Has Best Excuse For Smoking Crack: Was In Drunken Stupor

A big shoutout this morning to Toronto Mayor Rob Ford for offering the best excuses for misbehavior.
Crack and booze: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford
LOVES to party. 

After months of allegations, you might have heard that he finally admitted that he smoked crack.  His excuse was precious: "I was in a drunken stupor."

Oh, that makes it OK, then.

Residents of most cities probably wouldn't like it if their mayor was in a "drunken stupor" but in Toronto, at least for Ford, the drunken stupor is a good thing, because it excuses him for the crack smoking.

Pretty much everybody in Toronto wants Ford to resign, because no city likes to have a laughing stock as mayor. But good ol' Ford says he's going to stay on and run for re-election in 2014. Hey, booze and crack is expensive, you need a job to pay for it all, right?

According to the Associated Press, the crack smoking isn't the only example of Fords, um, colorful behavior:


"Ford apologized over the weekend for excessive drinking. He said he should not have been "hammered" drunk in public when he appeared at a street festival in August, calling it "pure stupidity."
He also said he got "a little out of control" after St. Patrick's Day in 2012, when city hall security guards said they witnessed a "very intoxicated' Ford having trouble walking and swearing at aides.
The mayor has also been accused of making an obscene gesture from his car and texting while driving. In 2011, Ford angered the city's gay community by declining to attend Toronto's gay pride parade, breaking with tradition observed by three previous mayors.
Earlier this year, the mayor was fired from his cherished side-job as a volunteer high school football coach after he made disparaging remarks to a TV network about parents and their kids."
 I'm not sure sure Ford will win the 2014 election, but he does sound like the life of a frat party, no?
On the bright side, if you're looking for a job, head to Toronto and run for mayor. You don't even have to be qualified. If you don't stumble around in public in a drunken stupor, and are not a fan of crack cocaine, that's an improvement over Ford. 
Your lack of drunkenness and drug abuse might just get you elected. 


Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Meanwhile, In Russia....

Dashcam videos from Russia offer hours of strange entertainment on YouTube.

I'll give you a good one that popped up the past couple of days.

Here's the scene. You can hear two men talking as the speed down a country road in Russia. The driver loses control on a curve and, you'll see what happens.

As you can tell by the tone of voice, it's no big deal, really:




For those of you (almost everybody) who doesn't understand Russian, I found this translation of their conversation, once they landed in the river:

"Oh we float!
Where we go?
 I don't know, maybe to the shore.
Don't steer the wheel. It's useless."

 Eh, we get where we're going eventually, they seem to say. No big deal.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Your Tax Dollars At Work: You're Not Getting The Bargain You Think You Are at McDonald's, Walmart

I'm like the conservatives: If you're able to work you should at least try to find a job and well, work.   I don't want my tax dollars going to able bodied people so they can get food stamps and other benefits.
Worker demonstrate for higher wages
at McDonald's in New York recently  

Which is why I'm pissed off at outfits like McDonald's and Walmart.

Wuh, what?

It turns out there are a bunch of able bodied people out there collecting food stamps, Medicaid and such. These people are working, so you'd think they shouldn't get such benefits. But their wages are so low, they qualify.

So to some extent, our tax dollars are not propping up some lazy, shiftless would-be workers who should just get off their duff and well, work.  Our tax dollars are already going to already insanely rich corporate executivesso they can pay low wages and let the government, i.e. us taxpayers, foot the bill for the living expenses these workers can't meet on their low wages.

Bottom line: Your Big Mac or the so-called bargain you find at Walmart might be costing you more than you think.

 McDonald's actually advised a worker, Nancy Salgado, who couldn't get by on her fast food wages to apply for food stamps and Medicaid. 

The nation's minimum wage over the past decade or two hasn't kept up with inflation. Many employees at fast food joints and discount stores make minimum wage or just a little above that.

I'd love to find a way to figure out how much my Big Mac would cost if I factored in the money I'm paying for people's food stamps and such.

 To be fair, Salgado is an activist advocating for higher wages for fast food workers.  And it's true some employees of fast food places and discounters like Walmart are just teenagers or whatever trying to make an extra buck.

But still, why are we subsidizing the very, very rich owners of these outfits by using our tax dollars to let them pay employees low, low, wages. We clearly aren't getting the bargain they've advertised.

According to the National Employment Labor Project, McDonald's alone costs taxpayers $1.2 billion annually because employees need public assistance because their wages are so low.

Yes, I know this is a complicated issue. I'm no economist, so I'm not sure how a living wage for everyone would affect the overall economy.

But when something doesn't seem fair, like this situation, there really needs to be a fix. I'm certainly willing to pay a bit more for a Big Mac rather than pay for somebody's food stamps so a corporate executive can get even richer.

Here's an (edited) YouTube recording of Saldago's McDonald's call