Thinking About Irene.....

With Hurricane Irene poised to hit the Northeast, and blast Vermont with gale force winds, flooding, power failures and a tangle of falling trees, my thought naturally turn to various aspects of this storm.

Satellite view of Hurricane Irene taking a cruise
through the Bahamas yesterday

Are people named Irene pissed off that a major storm share their name?

Who names these hurricanes anyway? After Irene, we can look forward to the rest of the hurricane season featuring the likes of Jose, Katia, Lee, Maria, Nate and Ophelia.
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Will the lines at the liquor store in advance of Irene be longer than the lines at the supermarket and hardware stores?

Along those lines, what is the best Merlot to sip while riding out the storm in your (dark) home?

New York transit officials say millions of subway rats might seek higher ground as the subway tunnels flood during Irene. Pleasant thought, no? "Honey, these 3,000 rats think our living room is a Red Cross storm shelter. What in heaven shall we do?"

I wonder how many people will die stupid deaths in Irene. I don't mean the poor people killed when a tree randomly crashes through a house. I mean the people who look at the violent storm surge rolling toward the beach and say, "Let's go surfing!"

Speaking of which, how many news reporters are going to do the I can barely stand in the wind routine while standing on the beach telling viewers to stay away from the beach.

Will a two-by-four finally sail through a news reporter's head at 90 mph, thereby ending the tradition of news reporters standing on beaches during hurricanes?

You can always tell in advance where the storm will cause the worst damage. Just figure out where the Weather Channel's Jim Cantore is (He's a native Vermonter!) And for the record, last I checked, Cantore was reporting live from Battery Park in lower Manhattan.

Every November, I have a big bonfire from the piles of branches I clean up from storms on my property during the year. I'm going to have a really, really big bonfire this November, aren't I? Bring the marshmallows!

Will all that humidity and moisture from Hurricane Irene wreck my naturally curly hair?