According To His Obit Writers, The Late George Ferguson Wasn't So Great

There seems to be a truth in advertising trend in obituaries. At least from the perspective of the survivors who write these epitaphs.  

The late, and according to his obituary, not
so great George Ferguson of Canada.  

George Ferguson, at least if you judge from his obituary, might have been tad dishonest.

Here's one excerpt:

"What is there to say about George? Certainly no one could accuse him of having been a loving son, brother or father. He'd gladly have stolen the shirt off your back and he was generous to  fault with other people's money. 

Was he a small-time con man with grandiose schemes? Probably. But another view of him is that he was the most exciting member of his family and one of the families he married into. 

He was a poor man's rhetoricin who beguiled certain women into buying into his promises and dreams."

OK, the above part of the obit raises some questions. I don't know if the obit is true, but if it's not, can George sue for defamation or libel from beyond the grave?

I'm struck by the line where he was the most exciting member of his family and one of the families he married into. Was the other family or families he married into more exciting than his own? Or were they  (allegedly!!!) more crooked than George supposedly was.

I see a real soap opera in the making. "As The Stomach Turns" perhaps?

But wait! There's more!

Here's some detail on George's drinking habits:

"Some of George's favorite watering holes were the Oak Bay Beach Hotel, the Oak Bay Golf Club, and the Marina. Of late, George had to travel to and from these places on his senior's scooter, whe he drove as recklessly - and sometimes as drunkenly - as he had driven his cars in earlier years."

There seems to be a mini trend in exposing mean or not so great people in their obits. Last September, we were treated to this description of a Reno, Nevada area woman who died:

"While she neglected and abused her small childre, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion toward them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love Everyone she met, adult or child, was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit."

Well, then!

If you want to be remembered, in a good way, try to treat your family, friends and everybody else in a respectful manner. If not, your permanent record might be exposed once you die, and that record will live on forever.

Obituaries Are Best When They Have a Sense of Humor

Condolences go out to the family of Harry Stamps, if Mississppi, who died earlier this month at the age of 80.

I don't know who wrote his obituary, but whoever did knows that a sense of humor, done right, is often appropriate, even in death notices. 

The late, great Harry Stamps.  

Just check out the excerpts, below, that reflect on the life and times of Harry Stamps, who, frankly, I wish I knew. He sounds like a great man, a great character.

The obit gives us some choice glimpses into his life.  Apparently, Stamps was something of a foodie, judging from this information:

"He had a life-long love affair with deviled eggs, Lane cakes, boiled peanuts, Vienna sausages on saltines, his homemade canned fig preserves, pork chops, turnip greens and buttermilk served in martini glasses garnished with cornbread."

He was also something of a fashion plate. Or at least his own version of a fashion plate:

"Harry took fashion cues from no one. His signature every day look was all his: a plain pocketed T-shirt designed by the fashion house Fruit of the Loom, his black label elastic waist shorts worn above the navel and sold exclusively at the Sam's on Highway 49, and a pair of old school Wallabees (who can even remember where he got those?) that were always paired with a grass stained MSU baseball cap."

Stamps detested  daylight saving time, and his daughter, Amanda Lewis, quoted in the Huffington Post in other news outlets, had this to say:

"He particularly hated Daylight Saving Time, which he referred to as The Devil's Time.....it is not lost on his family that he died the very day that he would have had to spring his clock forward."   

I hate to call an obituary refreshing, but this one is. It gives a good, honest look at Mr. Stamp's life. And people mourning a death need a bit of comic relief, and it's provided here.

I know people usually use a string of platitudes when describing a person in an obituary. I have no problem with that. People are trying to be respectful and polite. But does everyone who dies of cancer fight a "courageous battle" with the disease?

Does everyone who dies "surrounded by their family" and "go on to meet the Lord" when they pass away?

Again, nothing wrong with saying that, but I hope people take more liberties with language if they choose to assemble my obit when I go. (And I hope that will be a long, long time from now)

Every once in awhile, these cool obits do crop up. Here's another one, for Albert "Lovie" Montanaro Jr. which appeared in the Plattsburgh, N.Y. Press Republican in 2011.

Before he passed, and he had a lot of the same thoughts on obits that I do, and wrote his own sign off. For example, he wrote:

"The part of obituaries that I always found rather tedious is those endless lists of what somebody has decided what the deceased had achieved during his/her lifetime (thereby earning an obituary longer than a list of baseball's box scores)."

I especially love this generous sentiment Montanaro left behind in his obituary.

"In spite of what many of you believed, I'm not so foolish as to think my life made a huge difference in this world. I do, however, know how hard I worked to  make the few "differences" I helped to make. I leave this world truly satisfied and pray the Lord, in His mercy is satisfied with at least MOST of my life."

If only we could all one day look back on our lives and be able to say that.