Ugh. Hallloween In July As Stores Keeping Pushing Seasons Earlier And Earlier

Just some of the extensive selection of Halloween
candy at a Shaw's Supermarket in Colchester,
Vermont on July 31. Couldn't find stuff
I needed for summer, though.  

Every holiday is getting earlier and earlier, at least in the eyes of retailers.

Sunday, July 31, I stopped into a Shaw's supermarket in Colchester, Vermont to buy, among other things, some sun screen. Because I work outdoors frequently and need the protection.

I finally found some buried on a back shelf somewhere, but it was hard. Why? Because there was aisle after aisle of Halloween candy, but nothing you would need for summer.

I'm not finding much good information on line as to why stores put out seasonal goods so early. I'm sure it's a way for them to make more money.

It's infuriating, though. I buy things when I need them. I think most people do. Around August 1, I'm apt to buy sun screen, bug spray, a new pair of shorts to replace the ones I ripped rolling around in the grass with the dogs. Things like that.

But most retailers have decided I can't buy this stuff I need. I'm expected to plan ahead, and know precisely how much bug spray and sun screen I'll need for the summer way back in March. I'm supposed to be psychic. Because we're required, say the Retail Gods, to buy things six months before we actually need them. 

The summer stuff is not on store shelves now, when I want and need it.

Merchants claim it's out fault, that consumers demand that they stock items ever earlier every year.

I don't think that's true, though. Oh sure, there's a few weirdos who like to shop for back to school items a month before school lets out in May. A few other weenies think it's all Christmas all the time and shop for the holiday year round.

What's really going on is they stock things way, way earlier, training us to buy way, way early. But then we misplace the summer stuff we had to buy in February, or the kids get into the Halloween candy in August, a month after we were forced to purchase it, so we have to buy more

That way, the stores make more money.

The early season stuff is also stores wanting to get our attention first.

"The marketplace is so competitive that they can't take a chance that people are going to spend their $50 somewhere else," Purdue University retail management pofessor Richard Feinberg told NPR in 2011. 

Let's face it. Retailers hate us, and just want our money. They don't want us to buy things during the season when we need it, because that's not much of a money maker.

Retailers and their season creep sucks.

School Let Out For the Summer A Minute Ago, So It's Time For Back To School Sales!!

Last weekend, high schools in my area held their graduation ceremonies and the kiddies in all grades are now enjoying their first full week of summer vacation.  

Kids just got out of school for the summer.
Time for back to school sales!  

Which, in the world of retail logic, means their parents must drag the kids off THIS INSTANT!! for back to school sales.

Yep, they're on, according to Consumerist. Retailers always seem to start their sales seasons earlier, and earlier. You can probably pick up Christmas items now. Or at least soon.

But you'd better hurry, because I'm sure the Christmas season clearance sale will start in August or something.

All this advanced season stuff means you can't actually buy the stuff you need when you need it.  In retail land, and retail land only,  it doesn't make sense to sell t-shirts and shorts in June, bug spray in July, or swim suits at the beginning of August.

We're only supposed to buy things we won't need for many months yet. Maybe they hope we'll lose what we bought, and have to buy it again?

That's one way to maximize profits, I guess.

The retailers indeed say seasonal creep, be it Christmas or back to school is good for them and somehow good for parents. 

"Some schools start back up as early as the third week in August, so it's not really early," said National Retail Federation spokeswoman Kathy Grannis last year in the Tampa Tribune.

What, it takes two months to stock up on school supplies so you have to start now?

Then again, some people apparently live to shop and need an excuse to do that. "While 47.8 percent of parents will start back to school shopping one month before the school year starts, a full 22 percent will start two months out."

Because shopping for your kids in icy, air conditioned, sterile malls is apparently more fun than playing with your kids in the summer sun.

Gotta go. I need to shop for a new pair of shorts for summer. Oh, wait. Summer officially starts in a few days. I can't buy shorts. I'm way too late. Summer clothes are so February. I guess I'll have to shop for a ski parka instead.

You Have To Buy Your Christmas Stuff Now, October Probably Too Late, Retailers Say

It's Labor Day weekend folks! Time to get your Christmas shopping done!

Yep, the nation's retailers, as they do every year, want you to buy all your Christmas stuff months before you need it. And if there's stuff you need now, like sunscreen, barbecue supplies, too bad! You should have thought to buy that in February, you moron!

Better get your Christmas shopping done now
if not sooner, say retailers  

The retailers decreed long ago that we are not to buy stuff when we need them.  That's why winter clothing appears in stores in July at the latest, Halloween candy appeared in June, and all the Christmas stuff is out now.

I keep seeing these vague explanations of why retailers give us all this "Christmas creep." where goods appropriate for the holidays appear on store shelves now, instead of November or December when you actually need it.

Retailing is supposed a rough and tumble business, and to get your dollars, the thinking goes, they have to be the first with seasonal stuff. Which is why we're awash in Christmas decorations here in August at the same time half the nation is baking in a heat wave and people want to buy nonexistent beach towels and swimwear.

Or, they say, people love holidays like Christmas and retailers are obliging them by offering them holiday stuff now. Of course I haven't seen any polling that proves this.

Really. I only know a few people who are that enthusiastic about Christmas, and there are specialty stores that cater to them.

My theory is retailers are trying to make us buy stuff months before we need them because they hate us. Or, more politely, they just want our money.

The basic fact that they want our money is fine. They have to make a profit. But the business model I like is long gone. It used to be stores sold us quality stuff at a time of year we wanted it. We'd get what we want, the stores would get our money and both the store and us were happy that everyone was happy.

What they're doing is training us to panic. We now know we can't buy things we need when we need them, so we have to rush to buy them six months before they do us any good. They triggers our hoarding instincts. If we perceive things are going to be scarce when we need them, we panic and get more than what we need now.

So we end up stuck with the 12 Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer figurines we never needed but decided we had to buy because there will be no Christmas gifts available for purchase around Thanksgiving.

Plus we're out the $9.99 (plus shipping!) for each of these useless Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer figurines we, and nobody else really wants.

It's hot and sunny outside in Vermont today. I need sunscreen. But I'm out. Should have bought more in February. Thanks, nation's retailers. Only you forgot if I die of skin cancer, I can't buy any more of your useless goods. So maybe you won't get rich off me any more.

In any event, I've got a business proposal out there for anyone who is interested. You'll make billions out of the idea and you'll make the Waltons Family of Walmart look like paupers.

The deal is, if you go with this idea, you have to give me just one percent of the profits. I'll be a billionaire, too, under this scenario.

This is the plan: We open a national chain of department stores that sell things only when people need them. Imagine the joy of finding ample supplies of Halloween candy in mid-October, plentiful back to school clothes in August, beachwear in June and tons of Christmas decorations in early and mid December.

I bet our stores would constantly be mobbed with happy customers. It'll be the most successful store in the history of the nation.

Trust me.