Fans of The Onion, like me, know the headlines on the fake, satirical news site are classic.
But sometimes, real news trumps The Onion. Somebody created a Tumblr site called Onionlike which gives us real headlines that are from real news and real publications. The headlines prove that truth is stranger than fiction.
Some of the headlines from Onionlike include "Alton Attorney Accidentally Sues Himself," and "Academic: Are the Smurfs Crypto Fascists?" What the hell is a crypto-fascist anyway? Are blue things crypto-fascists?
One more headline says "Headless, Clawless Bear Found in N.Y. Trash Bin." Makes me think of that famous headline, wish I remember if it was from the New York Post or the New York Daily News. That classic headline was "Headless Body Found in Topless Bar."
Well, of course.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Dishing About Landscaping
You can use just about anything for landscaping borders in gardens, and I came across this unique one in Burlington recently.
Somebody used china, yes, dishes, to mark the boundary between walkways and plants in the garden in their front yard.
It's not maybe something I would do, but you have to admit it's unique. It does kind of work, and I like the fact that the idea is so quirky.
Gardens need more quirkiness, sometimes.
It got me thinking about what other things people use as garden decorations. I see tires used a lot, which definitely sends a mixed message.
I mean, let's plant things where vehicles will roll. I saw one house once where discarded green aluminium siding was used as a sort of wall in front of plants. Pretty cheesy. And I've seen flowers growing out of a rotting couch on a front yard, but I don't know if they just grew there randomly or if it was some sort of landscaping design.
Me, I'm going to continue to use stones, plants and other natural things for my landscaping. Readers, have you see anything odd in a garden? Have you used anything odd in a garden? Let me know. It would be fun to find out how creative people are.
 |
| Somebody in Burlington, Vermont used dishes to decorate a front yard garden. |
Somebody used china, yes, dishes, to mark the boundary between walkways and plants in the garden in their front yard.
It's not maybe something I would do, but you have to admit it's unique. It does kind of work, and I like the fact that the idea is so quirky.
Gardens need more quirkiness, sometimes.
It got me thinking about what other things people use as garden decorations. I see tires used a lot, which definitely sends a mixed message.
I mean, let's plant things where vehicles will roll. I saw one house once where discarded green aluminium siding was used as a sort of wall in front of plants. Pretty cheesy. And I've seen flowers growing out of a rotting couch on a front yard, but I don't know if they just grew there randomly or if it was some sort of landscaping design.
 |
| A detail of dishes inserted between paving stones and plants as decorations in a Burlington, Vt. garden |
Me, I'm going to continue to use stones, plants and other natural things for my landscaping. Readers, have you see anything odd in a garden? Have you used anything odd in a garden? Let me know. It would be fun to find out how creative people are.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Hating the Texter
I found a little item below of the type of person I hate the most. It's a recording of a voice mail message left by a young woman who seemed to not like her experience at some place called the Alamo Drafthouse.
Apparently, the Austin, Texas business shows movies, and does not allow texting and phone use during the films. Seems like a pretty reasonable rule, if you ask me.
Well, our young woman is steamed, steamed that she got thrown out of the Alamo Drafthouse for texting during a movie. She has the right to text, you see, even if it totally bothers everybody else trying to watch the movie.
The young woman is the type of person I just love to despise. Her wishes trump everybody else's. I wonder what she thinks, if she's aware there's close to a million people now who have heard her bitchy whines.
Listen for yourself in the video below (which just has her words) Caution: Her language is NSFW and not for the little kiddies scattered about:
Apparently, the Austin, Texas business shows movies, and does not allow texting and phone use during the films. Seems like a pretty reasonable rule, if you ask me.
Well, our young woman is steamed, steamed that she got thrown out of the Alamo Drafthouse for texting during a movie. She has the right to text, you see, even if it totally bothers everybody else trying to watch the movie.
The young woman is the type of person I just love to despise. Her wishes trump everybody else's. I wonder what she thinks, if she's aware there's close to a million people now who have heard her bitchy whines.
Listen for yourself in the video below (which just has her words) Caution: Her language is NSFW and not for the little kiddies scattered about:
Monday, June 6, 2011
News Comes to Me
As a journalist, I always need to go where the action is. Not a problem, obviously, but it would be easier if everything just landed in my lap.
Yesterday, a sleepy Sunday, it did. It was 6 a.m., and I was already groggily up, checking e-mail in my home office in St. Albans, Vt. I thought I heard a dull "thud" outside. Then a slightly louder thud. Then, looking out the window behind the laptop on my desk, I thought I saw a little patch of gray smoke float by.
I went outside and looked. There was a big pall of black smoke. Oops. A story.
So I grabbed my camera, hopped in the truck and followed the smoke. And the fire trucks. It turns out a tractor trailer truck burst into flames at a truck stop just a mile from my house. Luckily, I was able to get some nice dramatic photos and a cool story for the Burlington Free Press.
Yes, I do sound too enthusiastic about this. After all, fires are dangerous. But in this case, nobody got hurt, and a woman was hailed as a hero for rescuing the truck driver.
Yesterday, a sleepy Sunday, it did. It was 6 a.m., and I was already groggily up, checking e-mail in my home office in St. Albans, Vt. I thought I heard a dull "thud" outside. Then a slightly louder thud. Then, looking out the window behind the laptop on my desk, I thought I saw a little patch of gray smoke float by.
 |
| Firefighters in St. Albans on Sunday battle a truck fire in which a woman rescued the driver |
I went outside and looked. There was a big pall of black smoke. Oops. A story.
So I grabbed my camera, hopped in the truck and followed the smoke. And the fire trucks. It turns out a tractor trailer truck burst into flames at a truck stop just a mile from my house. Luckily, I was able to get some nice dramatic photos and a cool story for the Burlington Free Press.
Yes, I do sound too enthusiastic about this. After all, fires are dangerous. But in this case, nobody got hurt, and a woman was hailed as a hero for rescuing the truck driver.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Disaster Aftermath in Vermont
I spend the day Wednesday in a mobile home park in Berlin, Vermont that had been all but wiped out in a flash flood a week earlier.
I did an article on the flood aftermath there for the Burlington Free Press, highlighting how the disaster inflicted unremitting uncertainty on its victims. That maybe was the worst part of the flood for them.
We all like predictability. We like to know we will drive home after work, the home will actually be there, and we will follow our routine tomorrow and the next day, and the next.
That's what made me feel so bad about the flood victims in central Vermont. All that predictability was gone. Where will they live? What do they have, and what have they lost? Can they get back some of their possessions? How will they pay for it?
The initial moments or days of a disaster are exciting in their own way, even if they are tragic. There's drama and things nobody has seen before.
Of course, the experience quickly gets old. You've got to rebuild your life, regroup, cope with all the stuff you loved that you lost. The lucky ones were not hurt, or didn't lose any loved ones. Fortunately, in Vermont, nobody died in the flooding.
I didn't know it at the time, but as I wrapped up my visit to the the flood ravaged mobile home park, a big tornado was spinning through Springfield, Mass.
The tornado added to the many thousands of people in the United States, a few of them in Vermont, who are coping with weather calamity after weather calamity.
Next up: The big Missouri River flood. It doesn't end, unfortunately.
 |
| Flash flood devastation in the River Run Mobile Home Park in Berlin, Vt. this week. |
I did an article on the flood aftermath there for the Burlington Free Press, highlighting how the disaster inflicted unremitting uncertainty on its victims. That maybe was the worst part of the flood for them.
We all like predictability. We like to know we will drive home after work, the home will actually be there, and we will follow our routine tomorrow and the next day, and the next.
That's what made me feel so bad about the flood victims in central Vermont. All that predictability was gone. Where will they live? What do they have, and what have they lost? Can they get back some of their possessions? How will they pay for it?
The initial moments or days of a disaster are exciting in their own way, even if they are tragic. There's drama and things nobody has seen before.
 |
| Paul Turner sifts through what's left of his home after flash flooding last week in Berlin, Vt. |
Of course, the experience quickly gets old. You've got to rebuild your life, regroup, cope with all the stuff you loved that you lost. The lucky ones were not hurt, or didn't lose any loved ones. Fortunately, in Vermont, nobody died in the flooding.
I didn't know it at the time, but as I wrapped up my visit to the the flood ravaged mobile home park, a big tornado was spinning through Springfield, Mass.
The tornado added to the many thousands of people in the United States, a few of them in Vermont, who are coping with weather calamity after weather calamity.
Next up: The big Missouri River flood. It doesn't end, unfortunately.
Disaster Aftermath in Vermont
I spend the day Wednesday in a mobile home park in Berlin, Vermont that had been all but wiped out in a flash flood a week earlier.
I did an article on the flood aftermath there for the Burlington Free Press, highlighting how the disaster inflicted unremitting uncertainty on its victims. That maybe was the worst part of the flood for them.
We all like predictability. We like to know we will drive home after work, the home will actually be there, and we will follow our routine tomorrow and the next day, and the next.
That's what made me feel so bad about the flood victims in central Vermont. All that predictability was gone. Where will they live? What do they have, and what have they lost? Can they get back some of their possessions? How will they pay for it?
The initial moments or days of a disaster are exciting in their own way, even if they are tragic. There's drama and things nobody has seen before.
Of course, the experience quickly gets old. You've got to rebuild your life, regroup, cope with all the stuff you loved that you lost. The lucky ones were not hurt, or didn't lose any loved ones. Fortunately, in Vermont, nobody died in the flooding.
< I didn't know it at the time, but as I wrapped up my visit to the the flood ravaged mobile home park, a big tornado was spinning through Springfield, Mass.
The tornado added to the many thousands of people in the United States, a few of them in Vermont, who are coping with weather calamity after weather calamity.
Next up: The big Missouri River flood. It doesn't end, unfortunately.
|
| Flash flood devastation in the River Run Mobile Home Park in Berlin, Vt. this week. |
I did an article on the flood aftermath there for the Burlington Free Press, highlighting how the disaster inflicted unremitting uncertainty on its victims. That maybe was the worst part of the flood for them.
We all like predictability. We like to know we will drive home after work, the home will actually be there, and we will follow our routine tomorrow and the next day, and the next.
That's what made me feel so bad about the flood victims in central Vermont. All that predictability was gone. Where will they live? What do they have, and what have they lost? Can they get back some of their possessions? How will they pay for it?
The initial moments or days of a disaster are exciting in their own way, even if they are tragic. There's drama and things nobody has seen before.
|
| Paul Turner sifts through what's left of his home after flash flooding last week in Berlin, Vt. |
Of course, the experience quickly gets old. You've got to rebuild your life, regroup, cope with all the stuff you loved that you lost. The lucky ones were not hurt, or didn't lose any loved ones. Fortunately, in Vermont, nobody died in the flooding.
< I didn't know it at the time, but as I wrapped up my visit to the the flood ravaged mobile home park, a big tornado was spinning through Springfield, Mass.
The tornado added to the many thousands of people in the United States, a few of them in Vermont, who are coping with weather calamity after weather calamity.
Next up: The big Missouri River flood. It doesn't end, unfortunately.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Lake Champlain Keeps Attacking
Last evening, while Massachusetts was coping with really nasty tornadoes, we in Vermont had our own wind issue.
The cold front that caused the severe weather had passed. As is often the case after a late spring or summer cold front passes in Vermont, the skies clear, it stays warm and a strong fresh breeze kicks up. It was gusting to 40 mph at times.
Normally, this would not be a problem. The wind felt good after an oppressively hot day that reached 90 degrees. But Lake Champlain has been in a major flood since April, and the water is still incredibly high.
So the wind stirred up some big waves, which caused further damage and erosion along an already flooded and trashed Lake Champlain shore in Vermont. You can tell this by the pics I took that are in the post. Looks like people were still enjoying the weather, though.
 |
| Flooding Lake Champlain water and waves overwhelm a fishing pier in Burlington, Vermont Wednesday |
The cold front that caused the severe weather had passed. As is often the case after a late spring or summer cold front passes in Vermont, the skies clear, it stays warm and a strong fresh breeze kicks up. It was gusting to 40 mph at times.
Normally, this would not be a problem. The wind felt good after an oppressively hot day that reached 90 degrees. But Lake Champlain has been in a major flood since April, and the water is still incredibly high.
 |
| Crashing Lake Champlain waves come ashore near a statue on a w windy evening Wednesdayin Burlington, Vt, |
So the wind stirred up some big waves, which caused further damage and erosion along an already flooded and trashed Lake Champlain shore in Vermont. You can tell this by the pics I took that are in the post. Looks like people were still enjoying the weather, though.
 |
| Waves from flooding Lake Champlain splash onto a boardwalk In Burlington, Vt. on a warm, windy Wednesday eening |
 |
| Surging waves from a flooding Lake Champlain overwhelm a Burlington park on a windy Wednesday evening |
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