Judge Plays God By Banning Kids God-Like Name

Don't give your kid the first name "Messiah" in parts of Tennessee.

A family court judge has decided that name is already taken, so you have to name your kid something else. Like Martin or whatever.

A Tennessee judge was not happy when
this cute little boy's mom named him "Messiah."  

This turn of events came about because a Tennessee family court judge ruled that the name Messiah is already taken by God and so she ordered the parents to rename the tyke, according to television station WBIR in Knoxville. 

The parents of what was little Messiah were in court because they split up and couldn't agree on what last name the kid should have.

However, Child Support Magistrate Lu Ann Ballew instead changed the little boy's first name from Messiah to Martin.

"The word Messiah is a title and it's a title that has only been earned by one person and that one person is Jesus Christ," Ballew said, according to an account by WBIR.

I'm going to defy Judge Ballew here and keep calling the kid Messiah in this post. Here's why: Messiah's mom says she's going to appeal the judge's ruling.

Even though I'm not crazy about Messiah being a first name on aesthetic, not religious grounds,  but I think Mom has a strong case here.

As WBIR reports, Messiah is one of the fastests growing baby names, according to the U.S. Social Security Administration.  Should we change the name of every Messiah now living in the United States out of fear God will be ever-so-pissed that people are using his name for mere humans?

The judge said she changed Messiah's name because he's in a region with a lot of Christians and the name would ruffle their feathers. But is that really the judge's problem? And is naming a kid Messiah actually honoring God? I don't know Mom's motivation in naming the kid, but that could be one.

What about people named Jesus? There are a TON of regular people, many of them Hispanics, with the first name Jesus. Should they change their names?

And should we change the names of kids who just have weird first names, because those monikers might bother people?  Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their new bundle of joy North West. (Will their next kid be the sibling's polar opposite, South East?)

After all, people have recently given first names like Couture, Inny, Sesame, Shoog, Burger, Goodluck, Hippo, Mango and Tron to their kids, according to Babycenter.com

I think Judge Ballew was playing God when deciding to change the kid's name because it was too much like God's.

So mom's appeal will probably work.

If God doesn't want another kid named Messiah, he'll deal with it, not some ignorant judge from Tennessee.

And who knows if little Messiah from Tennessee is destined for great things in the future?

Context, Please: Why Was This Man Rubbing Buttered Toast On Woman's Car

From South Carolina this week, we get news that a man was arrested for rubbing buttered toast on the windshield of his neighbor's car. 

This man is accused of smearing buttered toast
on a windshield but nobody is telling us why  

The frustrating thing about this report is, there's no context. You told us about the guy with the toast, but you didn't tell us why. Isn't that the most important part of the story?

One dispatch helpfully noted that the estimated damage to the butter-smeared car was $1. Oh, thank you.

Now how are we going to go on with our day not knowing why one would rub buttered toast on a car windshield.

I guess all I can do now is invite readers to submit their own theories as to why this happened. We need to solve this mystery.

RIP Eydie Gorme

Word came out today that Eydie Gorme died after a brief illness at the age of 84.

I have to admit as a kid I couldn't STAND Eydie Gorme and her husband and singing partner Steve Lawrence. So lovey dovey. So cheesy. So many teeth in those smile.

The late, great Eydie Gorme  

Of course my negative opinion of Gorme and Lawrence was unfair. What's wrong with love? And if they were so happy and in love with each other and their lives, why should I complain?

One has to remember to not get all cynical and eye-rolling with sedate contentment. And Gorme was a talented singer.

Steve and Eydie were together for 55 years. Steve Lawrence released this touching and sad statement about his wife's death.

"Eydie has been my partner on stage and in life for more than 55 years. I fell in love with her the moment I saw her and even more the first time I heard her sing."

 Very sweet. Really, I retract any nastiness I had toward  Gorme.

Which would make my mother happy. She LOVED Steve and Eydie.

Goodbye, Eydie. I'm sure whereever you are in the afterlife   will sound sweeter with you there.

Here's perhaps her most famous song. Yes, it's cheesy, but it's become a guilty pleasure of mine:

Worst Co-Workers Ever: Man Says Fellow Employees Repeatedly Tasered Him

Bradley Jones, a guy who until recently worked at Texas car dealership, probably came close to having the world's worst co-workers.

Is Tasering your co-worker really
the best use of time?   

That's because they repeatedly Tased him, because they thought it was funny or something, according to television station KHOU in Houston.

Of course he's suing now, but I have to wonder why the people who victimized him weren't charged with assault. (Criminal charges are still possible, says KHOU)

He seems to have a good case, since may of th tasings appeared on YouTube before they were recently taken down.

Supposedly, the owner of the dealership was in on the Tasing. The boss, Sam Harliss, supplied the Taser, according to the lawsuit, and sometimes filming the incidents.

I'm sure when the videos are played during the lawsuit depositions or trial, somebody is going to have lots of 'Splainin' to do.

Here's the news report from KHOU:

Why Do Corporations Not Understand We All Roll Our Eyes At Corporate Speak

So, they're laying off a bunch of people at Patch, the local news arm of AOL.

According to Jim Romenesko, the head of AOL, Tim Armstrong, did not endear himself to many people when he reportedly fired a staffer during a conference call for taking photos during said conference call.

AOL CEO Tim Armstrong. Enough with the
corporate speak, Tim!  

Way to go, Tim! Are we a bit Nixonian or what?

But what bothered me at least as much as Armstrong's way to describe layoffs. They aren't layoffs. They're "impacts."

Impacts? Really? That's supposed to make everything OK?  "Hey, we're an impactful company!"  Yeah, real positive.

I wonder why some members of the corporate world don't understand why corporate speak doesn't help their cause.

"We're not downsizing. We're rightsizing!"  Which means firing a bunch of people.   That should make all the people who find themselves suddenly jobless totally happy.

Do the CEOs or whoever is in charge not see the entire nation rolling their eyes when they lapse into such language?

There's a whole web site devoted to corporate speak, which is entertaining to browse if you have time to waste. Most of the words are harmless, if obnoxious.

But trying to put a positive spin on something negative is just dishonest. Why would anyone want to buy a product or service from a company like that? Perhaps that's why they're circling the drain in the first place.

Getting back to AOL Chief Armstrong, he's clearly a big fan of corporate speak. Here's part of a memo to employees during a 2011 round of layoffs:

"The structural changes at AOL are possible because of the progress we have made as a team in the last 12 months. The majority of our sites have materially improved their customer experiences, our advertising business continues to get healthier and more innovative, our video position is strengthening everyday, or local footprint is quickly expanding, we are attraction some of the most talented people in the world to work at AOL, and our technology infrastructure is simpler and more robust. AOL is a global brand and a global opportunity and we are doing the hard work that will once again make the company an industry leader."

As FishbowlLA pointed out, if you can interpret the jargon in that horrible paragraph, Armstrong is saying "These layoffs were made possible by all your hard work."

So, if you're going to lay off some employees, describe the move as layoffs. If you're downsizing, feel free to explain why, and why it will help the company.

Just stay away from the corporate speak, please, so that our rolling eyes don't end up rolling out our ears and onto the floor. It would make a mess. That one of your rightsized, er, downsized employees will have to clean up.

World's Most Horrible Judge Going To Jail For Screwing Over Teens For Fun and Profit

It often seems to be that a lot of people get away with screwing over the little guy and getting rich in the process. Wall Street, anyone?

The mother of Edward Kenzakoski confronts the horrible
judge Mark Ciavarella. Kenzakoski committed
suicide after Ciavarella fraudulently sent
him to a youth prison for his fun and profit.  

So it was particularly satisfying to read that a Pennsylvania judge, Mark Ciavarella, has been sentenced to 28 years in jail for sending teenagers to a youth prison on trumped up charged because he made money from keeping the youth prison full. 

According to the web site Rolling Out:

"Ciavarella would sentence offenders with small offenses to months and, at times, yeas behind bars. He once sentenced a teen to trhee months in jail for creating a MySpace page that mocked her school's assistant principal. Ciavarella also sentenced another teen for 90 days in jail for a simple schoolyard fight."

In the scam, Ciavarella and fellow judge Michael Conahan received $2.6 million form the owner of the youth prison, PA Child Care.

Conahan and owners of the youth prison had previously pleaded guilty to crimes related to the case.

The Pennsylvania Supreme Court has overturned the conviction of 4,000 people sentenced by Ciavarella.  According to the Juvenile Law Center, at least 2,500 kids were affected by the purely evil Ciavarella and Conahan in the so-called Kids For Cash scandal.

Ciavarella and his cohorts really ruined some kids' promising lives by sentencing them to prison and in some cases drove them to suicide. One, Edward Kenzakoski, was a promising athlete who was improperly sentenced by Ciavarella and fell into depression and eventually committed suicide.

The photo in this post shows Kenzakoski's mother confronting Ciavarella. The image is heartbreaking. At least to most people. I have a feeling though, that Ciavarella doesn't give a whit if anybody was upset with his crimes.

The judge would get an average of $250 per kid he sentenced. So, yeah, Ciavarella pretty much thought the life of each and every teenager out there was worth about $250.

I'll admit I'm fascinated by Ciavarella in a morbid sort of way. He, a judge, would know more than just about everyone how devastating a criminal conviction could be for a teenager. It would follow them for the rest of their lives, affecting their ability to go to school, get a job, be successful.

And we are all victims in this. The primary victim is of course the teenager falsely convicted by the ikes of Ciavarella. But his actions probably made it more likely his victims would need some sort of public assistance in the the future. That's our tax money folks.

All because or creepy, horrible judge Ciavarella wanted to get rich, and it it hurt somebody, so what?

I hope all the kids Ciavarella improperly sentenced are OK and doing well outside of prison. But a part of me hopes that a few of them re-offended, and are back in prison and will meet Ciaveralla, 63, there.

He deserves a particularly miserable prison life, and anything that makes it more horrible will be fine with me.

Scariest Bus Crash Video Ever, Plus A Dramatic Semi-Truck Crash

I guess it's getting frightening on the roadways, at least if two videos that are going viral are any indication

The first has  to be the scariest video I've seen in a long time. A surveillance camera is rolling inside a bus in China when it was slammed by an oncoming semi truck.

The violence of the crash is shocking. Some passengers are thrown through the bus windows at great speed and force. Terrible.

The crash happened when for some reason the bus was backing up on a highway and was hit by an oncoming semi truck. 

The truck driver was killed, and obviously pretty much everyone on the bus was injured. But they all survived.

Here's the frightening, but somehow fascinating video:





In the second video, a truck plunges off a highway overpass in Texas. Unfortunately, the driver died, but none of the other motorists on the highways were hurt. The truck narrowly missed some cars, but everybody was able to get out of the way.

Amazing, isn't it, that the ubiquity of security cameras give us such windows into incidents, some, like these, horrible, that we never would have seen before. Here's the Texas crash: