Is This The Craziest Friday In Ages?

I had a little down time today and have been going over news sites and Twitter and Facebook and such and am learning that today is just weird.

Among the weirdness today: Exxon Mobil is
afraid people will get confused and think
they are the FX television network. Or something.  

Here are some tidbits I saw today.

• ExxonMobil is suing the FX television network because the network is putting two "X's together in its logo and the oil company says only they can do that.  I exxpect to be sued if I keep taking exxception to the lawsuit the way I'm doing in this sentence. Oh well. 

• In Kansas, a conservative Christian group is suing because they say teaching about evolution in schools violates their religious right not to learn about evolution.  It's against my religion to read about dumb, close minded people. So can I sue the Kansas "Christian" group

• In the good but cliched news department, a 21 year old Florida man tried to steal a 78-year old woman's gold chain, but the woman beat the crap out of the guy with her umbrella, making the attempted theft both unsuccessful and incredibly embarassing for him. 

• Ben Cohen, co-founder of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, was spotted dressed up as a guinea pig today. He was protesting the establishment of an F-35 fighter jet base in Burlington, Vermont, saying the move is making guinea pigs of nearby residents because the full effects of the noise the jets will cause isn't fully understood. 

• A man smuggling pot in Brazil died when chased by cops. He smashed into a tree with his car, and the crash made the 1,000 pounds of pot in the back of the car crash down on him, crushing the smuggler against his steering wheel.

• The U.S. Senate Friday afternoon adjourned until Saturday without a budget deal, but the Senate did vote unanimously to declare next week "National Chess Week" so at least they got something done. 

• In the "guy needs mental health treatment" department, a man showed up at a church in Lincoln, Nebraska as a wedding was getting underway. He was naked and waving lettuce at the wedding party, saying he had to feed the animals. In a related development, nobody ate the garden salad at the reception after the wedding ceremony.

• Even the weather has gone bonkers. For the first time in at least a century, according to  weather historians can figure, the nation is simultaneously being hit by a tropical storm, tornadoes, wildfires and a big blizzard. 

I really think I need a drink. 

Man Who Found Boston Marathon Bombing Suspect Has A New Boat!

Congratulations to David Henneberry of Watertown, Massachusetts, who just acquired a new boat.

A view of the boat Boston Bombing
suspect hid in. The boat
was pretty much destroyed when the
bomber was captured, so strangers bought a
new one for the owner.  

I'm mentioning this because Henneberry is the guy who found Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev hiding in the boat he had parked in his yard.

During the massive manhunt to find Tsarnaev last April, the suspect hid in the boat, Henneberry found him there and called police.

Flushing Tsarnaev out of the boat, named Slip Away, badly damaged the vessel. Plus the FBI needed to hold it for evidence.

People were of course extremely pleased Henneberry found Tsarnaev, called authorities and ended the manhunt. But people felt bad that Henneberry's boat was trashed in the process.

So kind strangers started a fundraiser, with a goal of coming up with $50,000 for a new boat.   The fundraiser actually went a little over the $50,000 target, so Henneberry asked that any excess funds go to One Fund, which helps victims of the Boston bombing.

Henneberry named the new boat "Beth Said Yes." because Henneberry is grateful his wife Beth agreed to let him accept the boat.

The Boston Marathon bombing was of course, as awful as anything could be. So it's nice to cling to any good news that comes out of the incident.

Congress Creatures: Worship Us Or We Take Down Your Lovely Economy!

We can go on and on about how to get out of the government shutdown and get Congress do to their job, but things are getting ridiculous, as some Congress Creatures tip their hands.

To this Texas Congressman, it's the park
ranger's fault that Congress can't get their act
together. Whatever.  

Nobody's dignifying themselves in Washington with this, but two incidents stand out.

One is a video of Republican Representative Randy Neugebauer yelling at a park ranger for keeping people out of a World War II memorial in Washington DC due to the shutdown. 

He said the ranger ought to be ashamed for not letting people in.  Like it was her fault Congress Creatures cut off funding for the government because they wanted to score political points.

Um, this park ranger doesn't control the purse strings.

You and the other Congress Creatures do, Mr. Neugebauer. I'm shocked I have to remind you of this. I'm sure if you and the others put your egos aside, the nice park ranger will let everyone who wants to see the Memorial in.

So don't yell at her to score political points, you buffoon.

Meanwhile, Rep. Marlin Stutzman, R-Indiana, schools on what's important here, and how to best end the shutdown. It isn't about government spending, about Obamacare, or any other important public issue.

The important thing Stutzman tells us, is that our Congress Creatures need their egos stroked constantly.  Really, this is what he said: "We're not going to be disrespected. We have to get something out of this. And I don't know what that even is."

Yes, in the weird, hell that is Washington, the Democrats have to stroke the Republican egos, the Republicans have to stroke the Democrat egos. It's all about them. Not about the lives Congress is wrecking.  Or the work their shirking because they have to mug for the cameras. Jerks.

OK, Your Highness Stutzman. We have to bow at your feet for you to do your job. We have to respect you to make you work like you were elected to do?  And you and your fellow Congress Creatures deserve respect because.........??

Don't Spice Up Your Sex Life On Railroad Tracks

A lot of those relationship magazines give you tips on how to spice up your sex life.

A great place for freight trains, not
such a great spot for sex.  

I'm not going to tell you how to spice up your sex life. You're on your own on that one.

But I do have one hint on what not to do: Your sex life won't get better if you do it on railroad tracks.

I know that should be obvious, but it wasn't to one couple in the Ukraine, who decided to try it. Seeing how the woman died and the man lost his legs when a train ran over them, it was not a good idea.

Obviously a death and grievous injury are tragic, but still, what were they thinking?

Even if there were no trains around, and you're not trying to win a Darwin Award, are railroad tracks the best, most comfortable place for sex? The gravel between the railroad ties, the creosote-soaked wooden ties laden with splinters, and the cold steel of the rails doesn't seem romantic to me.

And then there are those pesky trains.

So, I can't give you any advice to enhance your sex life, other than to avoid railroad tracks. And maybe freeways at rush hour aren't great either.

Fed Workers Can't Search For Missing Woman Due To Closure And We're Worried About Boehner's Career?

OK, here's where I'm confused and infuriated. So much of the analysis of why the government is shut down and Congress can't get anything done boils down to this:

Is John Boehner's career more important
than a missing Idaho woman?  

House Speaker John Boehner can't get a spending bill out without an attachment defunding or delaying Obamacare because Tea Party Congress people won't agree to it, and Boehner can't just ignore him because it might force him out as speaker.

Plus, if Tea Party members cave, their constituents back at home will be pissed and they won't get re-elected.

So the careers and egos of a few rich, fat middle aged or old guys is more important that the economy and fortunes of the nation? Or 800,000 federal workers who won't get desperately needed paychecks?

And those selfish Congress creatures are apparently more important than the life of a missing woman in Idaho. According to KBOI out of Boise,  a woman named Jo Elliot-Blakeslee, 63, is missing in rough terrain in Craters of the Moon National Monument.

Only a skeleton staff of park rangers can look for her because they're not allowed to work because of the government shutdown. 

And get this: The park staff can't even volunteer to look for the woman. According to KBOI:

"Federal workers are not allowed to volunteer to do their jobs during the shutdown because U.S. law says they can't do any work that has not been allocated funding."

So, let's make sure the woman missing in Idaho dies to make so that the idiots in Washington can score their political points.

The family of the missing woman is asking for experienced hikers to look for her.

Perfect.

Still, I am always looking for the bright side of a bad situation and I did find one.  A KKK rally at Gettyburg National Military Park has been canceled. The government shutdown means the park can't issue any special permits for events. 

So if you were planning on going to the Oct. 5 KKK rally, do your racism thing somewhere else.

Lots Of Mean, Stubborn People In The News, So We Give You A Boy And A Dog Becoming Friends

I'm still obsessed with the stupidity of Congress in an unhealthy way. I get angry every time I think about how they're not getting what they need to get done because they have to show how "principled" they are, or something.

Much better than Congress: A dog and a little
boy become friends in a wonderful video.  

Since when is it's principled to act like an overtired toddler who is not getting the expensive toy he wants?

Anyway.

I try to distract myself with nicer images. Yesterday, it was those heroes who saved people and showed what the opposite of the U.S. Congress is. 

Today, I'll give you a sweet video that actually came out a year ago, but has gotten a resurgence in popularity on line today. I guess everybody is looking for something positive.

It's a golden retriever in Buenos Aires named Himalaya who is making friends with a little boy with Downs Syndrome. The boy doesn't normally like interactions with other beings, he's incredibly shy, we understand, but even he can't resist the charms of a dog wanting to be a friend.

Neither can I, and I bet you can't either, so here you go:

Most Blunt News Headline Ever: N.Y. Daily News And Congressional "Turds"

Tell us how you really feel, New York Daily News!

Today's New York Daily News  

There's widespread disgust with Congress with the shutdown and the failure to do their job and all that.

I saw a poll yesterday that shows Americans like Vladimir Putin more than they like Congress.  The sour, dour Putin gets a 19 percent approval rating while the Congressional approval rate is 10 percent.

I'd like to know who the 10 percent who like Congress. I haven't met any of them lately.

Today's New York Daily News cover, though, as you can see by the image in this post, takes the disgust with Congress to a new level.

So what do you think of the Daily News cover? Does it take things too far? Tell the truth? Prod people or Congress into action? Something else? Other opinions? I want to hear them. Just for fun, I guess