The Perfect Valentine's Day Gift For Your Ex

The San Antonio Zoo has a perfect antidote to Valentine's Day,
especially you have a particularly loathesome ex.

There's two holidays on the yearly calendar that I'm so, SO not into.

One of them is Christmas, the other is Valentine's Day.

Since Valentine's Day is coming up tomorrow we'll focus on that.

It's a stupid holiday.  If you love somebody, you don't need a specific date on the calendar to tell somebody that fact.

I tell my husband every day that I love him. And I will inform him on Valentine's Day that I love him, but I'm sure he won't be especially surprised by that news.

Valentine's Day also sucks for people who are unlucky in love.  It's the marketing, advertising campaigns again that is really meant to make you feel terrible, and thus buy something to soothe your sad soul.

At Christmas, you're supposed to be insanely cheerful, according to society, even though societal pressure also makes you miserable during that holiday.

On Valentine's Day, you're supposed to be in a perfect relationship, and if you're not, you're a scumbag. Obviously, if you are not in a big romantic relationship at the moment, there are tons of likely reasons why.  Probably none of those reasons are your fault.

But  the evil perveyors of Valentine's Day struggle mightily to guilt you because you don't happen to be in a blissful romance on a random date, namely February 14.  But there's one lovely antidote for people who hate Valentine's Day and hate a particular ex.

According to People magazine and numerous other media outlets, the San Antonio, Texas zoo is doing this:

"For those interested in embracing the less romantic side of the holiday, the zoo is hosting a special event in which spurned lovers can name cockroaches or rats after their exes, and watch them get fed to zoo animals."

The San Antonio Zoo event is called "Cry Me A Cockroach" and will be livestreamed for all to watch on Valentine's Day.  In that livestream, we can watch cockroaches and pre-frozen rats get fed to the zoo's reptiles.

Gosh, watching that livestream sounds like such a romantic way to spend Valentine's Day with your honey, doesn't it?

People magazine tells us that cockroaches would cost you $5 to name, and the rats, $25.   You must really hate your ex if you're willing to spend $25 on a rat named after said ex so it can be fed to another animal.  In that case, you really need to get over it.

By the way, only first names are allowed. You can't fully identify your bad ex with first and last names in this "Cry Me A Cockroach" promotion.

If you're interested, click on this link to get more info and sign up for Cry Me A Cockroach.

Somewhat unrelated, but if you were just dumped by your honey, you feel crappy.  But to me, the folowing song and video is a salve you can tune into any time you feel especially bad about the breakup.  Guaranteed you'll feel better:

The Most Romantic Video For Your Valentine's Day.

Screen shot from video of a woman named
Vicky telling her boyfriend she's ready to marry.
In the foreground Jon learns Vicky's parents
approve, and Vicky in the background waits
for Jon's answer.  

It's Valentine's Day, which means we must have sappy love stories to celebrate the day.

So I found this random video. I like it because the woman named Vicky who organized it is such a romantic.

Her boyfriend, Jon,  had proposed to her a couple times, but she said she wasn't ready. Then Vicky thought about it, a little time went by, and she decided she was indeed ready to marry.

But she had to tell him. So Vicky organized the event you'll see at the bottom of this post.

This video was uploaded in late August of 2013, right around the date of my first wedding anniversary. I, too, was not initially ready to marry.  My husband waited a long time for me to propose - he wanted it to be my final decision.

Of course, he wasn't terribly shy about dropping hints.

I finally did propose, and we've been happily married for two and a half years now. My decision to ask Jeff to marry me was by far the best move I've ever made.

So happy Valentine's Day Jeff!! 

Anyway back to Vicky and Jon. I'll give you a spoiler alert. Things end up going well in the video, and it turned out Jon was ready for Vicky to be ready.

Though I probably spoiled any surprised in the video, it's still such a charming thing to watch.

I hope it inspires a few hugs and cuddles with your lover. Although caution: Kleenex alert with this video:

The Least Romantic Story EVER, Just In Time For Valentines Day

Who wouldn't fall for this guy? Well, nobody would.
Charles Manson is once again unlucky in love
as Valentine's Day approaches.  

Just in time for Valentine's Day, coming up this weekend, I have what is certainly the least romantic story I've heard in ages.

Hey, I've got to be a contrarian.

Before I go on, I have to tell you I'm not making up any of what you are about to read up. My imagination isn't that good, or that sick. Maybe people involved are making a lot of stuff up, but not me.

So here it goes:

If any of this is true, and it's coming from the New York Post, so it might be embellished, it appears the expected wedding of Charles Manson is not going to happen after all.

The news is enough to make your red roses wilt on the spot, isn't it.

Manson, you might recall, is the ringleader of a weird murder spree in California way back in 1969. He and his followers thought that if they murdered actress Sharon Tate and eight others to start some sort of race riot or revolution or something, I don't know.

Manson was sentenced to life behind bars and is now 80 years old.

But, romance blooms, even in prison, or so Manson thought. A woman named Afton Elaine Burton, 27, announced in 2013 she planned to marry Manson.

Rolling Stone magazine had all the deets on the marriage back in November, 2013. At least that's how things stood, until romance faded. So sad.

But back then the love affair between Manson and Burton, referred to as "Star" in Rolling Stone, was in full torrid bloom.  

Star and her apparently ex-fiance Charlie Manson in,
um, happier times last year.  

"Star is a (then) 25 year old brunette who's been loyally visiting Manson in jail since she was 19 years old and maintains several websites devoted to defending Manson and his pro-Earth environmental causes," Rolling Stone reported.

Too bad Manson wasn't also anti-murder, but I guess you can't have everything.

Rolling Stone goes on:

"In 2007, Star moved to Corcoran to be near Charlie, who she visits each Saturday and Sunday for up to five hours a day. 'Yeah, well, people can think I'm crazy,' she likes to say. 'But they don't know. This is what's right for me. This is what I was born for.'"

Well, she's right on one point. She did seem crazy. I guess at the time we would have congratulated Star for snagging the world's least available bachelor, and the one you'd least want to take home to meet Momma.

Burton, or Star, had some pretty strong opinions. She carved an "X" into her forehead to match Manson's lovely visage.  Star strongly resembles Susan Atkins, one of the members of Manson's "family" that carried out the horrible murders back in 1969.

Jealous lover that she was portraying, Burton, or "Star" hated Atkins. "That bitch was fucking crazy....She was a crazy fucking whore."

Alrighty, then.

But as I noted, sometimes blossoming love withers on the vine. And such is the case with Star and Charlie.

If the New York Post is right, Star's intention was not to marry out of love, but for money. Yeah, yeah, I know,  Manson doesn't have any money, given that he's been in prison for what, 45 years or so?

It turns out Star is an entrepreneur!

Her plan was to marry Manson, then when he died, she'd gain custody of his corpse. And it might not be too long before Manson dies. He is 80 years old. So Star maybe thought she was getting a quick return on her investment.

How would she make money, though?

Easy! After Manson dies, she and her pal Craig Hammond would put his corpse in a glass crypt. As the New York Post put it, "The pair figured their bizarre California version of Lenin's Tomb would draw huge crowds and make big money."

There's where I question the business plan.

It is true that California draws LOTS of tourists, what with Yosemite Park, Hollywood, the redwood forests, the beauty of San Francisco, the luscious wines of Napa Valley and Disneyland Resort (despite the measles epidemic.)

Maybe I'm closed minded, but I don't think tourists would exactly flock to see Charlie Manson's dead body. If I went to California as a tourist, that would be extra low on my bucket list. But what do I know?  I'm not the lead editor at Travel and Leisure, so my expertise in tourism might not be up to snuff.

The Post reported that a journalist told the paper that the cunning Manson found out about that Star was in it for money, not love, so Manson pulled the plug on the wedding plans.

Besides, Manson reportedly had another reason not to go along with Star's plan. He believes he is immortal, so Star would have no corpse to display. No corpse, no tourist attraction, right?

As you can see, this story isn't exactly a lovely Valentine. But now you can be cheerful.

Even if there's no romance in your life at the moment. Even if Mr. or Ms. Right hasn't entered the picture yet. Even if you're going to spend Valentine's Day alone watching re-runs of "Divorce Court," your life is still much more romantic and lovely than Manson or Star's.

You've got to count your blessings, right?