Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Complaints About YouTube? Watch This Video

The woman on the left handles YouTube complaints
 deftly in the latest YouTube complaint desk video Add caption
 I know, I know, those of us who watch a lot of YouTube videos get frustrated at the ads we have to sit through, the misleading headlines, the promises of an exciting videos that don't pan out, all that stuff.

So, once again, we have an update video that walks us through all these complaints. It features a woman at a fictitious help desk at YouTube.

This follows up with previous, very similar YouTube complaint desk videos from 2014 and another great one from 2013. 

It's hilarious. See for yourself:

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

No, That Movie Is Not "A Comedic Masterstroke"

No, reviewer AA Dowd did NOT say this
movie was "a comedic masterstroke."  
I've got new evidence that those blurbs you see from critics in movie advertisements aren't what they seem.

Yeah, they always say the movie was terrific, an Oscar contender, boffo, all that.

You can never believe those blurbs, can you?

So it was that the cover on a Canadian-produced DVD of a movie called "Nailed" quoted movie reviewer A.A. Dowd as calling it "a comedic masterstroke."

Consumerist says "Nailed" was a widely ignored movie that was released in the United States after many people abandoned working on the film in frustration. Its American title was  "Accidental Love."

Here is the full quote from Dowd's review of "Nailed" that didn't appear on the DVD cover, according to Consumerist:

"To be fair to whoever refashioned "Accidental Love" from the abandoned scraps of "Nailed," there's little reason to believe that the ideal, untroubled version of the material would have been a comedic masterstroke."

Yeah, Dowd really didn't like the movie. So much for a comedic masterstroke.

Dowd wrote an open letter to Mongrel Media which put out the DVD with the false blurb, calling them out on it.  He wrote:

"Framing me as a big fan of Nailed isn't just a lie, it's an attack on my critical reputation. What if someone reads that and really thinks I see a "comedic masterwork" in "Nailed."? They'll never trust me on a comedy again."

 Dowd asked for an apology, and got said apology from Mongrel Media. Future copies of this pretty bad movie won't have Dowd's out of context blurb about it.

So here's my review: A masterful performance by Dowd! And that's not even taken out of context!

Monday, July 27, 2015

This Sheriff WILL Get His Suspect

Sheriff Lt. Clay Higgins on the trail of
the guy who burglarized Stelly's Supermarket  
Somebody burglarized Stelly's Supermarket and Restaurant in St. Landry Parish, Louisiana and Sheriff Lt. Clay Higgins is on the case.

We've got the proof in this awesome Crimestoppers video he stars in.

The first part of it is just the usual, here's what happened, here's what the suspect looks like, but then Higgins takes a glorious turn.

We learn what a great place Stelly's is, what great food it has, and what lousy food the suspect will have in his small jail cell once he's arrested.

Higgins hints that he already knows who the suspect is, given the great boot print on the door that was kicked in and some possible DNA evidence.

He also noted that the $1,000 reward for the capture of this goon is tempting for a lot of people. He tells the suspect in the video: "People who know you really don't like you anyway, so when it comes down to a choice between you and $1,000, they'll take the cash."

Watch this awesome video, filmed in the Stelly's parking lot:

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Family Has Too Many Cars Parked In Driveway, Stupid Regulators Say

The four cars parked in this Kennesaw, Georgia
driveway is apparently a terrible crime.
County zoning enforcers told the people who
live here they need to pay for permits
to park more than two cars in their own driveway  
Readers of this blog know I'm continually fascinated by how some zoning enforcers or homeowner association fascists love to micromanage how people manage their property.

At the garden supply company where I work, a woman recently wanted to buy a purple hose but had to settle on a dark green one because her homeowners' association said purple hoses are just too gauche.

Then today, I saw this one: A family in Kennesaw, Georgia was informed by the county they faced fines because there's too many cars in their driveway: Four of 'em.

These aren't broken down cars on blocks, rusting in the hot Georgia sun. I'd object, too, if that were happening.  I can also see needing to obtain permits for parking on public streets, but this is the family's own home, and they point out they already pay property taxes.

These cars are in good running condition and look fine because they belong to the couple that live there, their kids who are home from college, and visiting relatives.

The driveway is also plenty big enough to accommodate the cars, so nobody is parking on grass and ruining lawns.

But for reasons unclear, you have to get a permit to have more than two cars in your driveway, says WSB-TV in Atlanta. 

"I am angry. I am beyond angry. I don't see how the government can tell me whose cars I can park in my own driveway," said Kim Oviedo, who owns the house with the dreaded four cars.

When WSB-TV and other media attention hit about this, the county government, likely embarrassed, will let the family keep four cars in the driveway this summer. But if it happens again next summer, they said, watch out!

Because of all the things bad that can go on in a neighborhood, four cars in one driveway is apparently the WORST!

Saturday, July 25, 2015

80s Classic Song "Tainted Love" Channels Twitter

"Tweeted Love" updates this Soft Cell classic
I'm a big fan of bad puns.

I love the Soft Cell classic song "Tainted Love"

And I'm addicted to Twitter.

Which made me LOVE this video of all kinds of Twitter handles, set to the song "Tainted Love."

As many of you know, "Tainted Love" is a very electronic sounding tune, full of beeps and whirrs and rumbles.

So you'll love the repeated Merp Merp in this version, called "Tweeted Love" But the whole thing is awesome. And uses peoples' Twitter handles to really punny effects.

Give it a watch and you'll never think of "Tainted Love" the same way again:

Friday, July 24, 2015

Some Idiot Is Shaving Cats In British Columbia

Jo Jo Yarjau holds her cat, which
was victimized by a weird
person in town who shaves square
patches out of cats like this one. 
People in Campbell River, British Columbia are worried about their cats.

For good reason. Some weirdo in the town is shaving small patches of fur from cats.

At least two people in Campbell River have said their cats have come home with small square patches of fur shaved from them.

This weirdness was first reported by the Campbell River Mirror newspaper and since picked up by media outlets across North America.

Two residents of the town Jo Jo Yarjau and Vance Assu, who lives around the corner from Yarjau, reported the savings.

Yarjau says her cat isn't particularly affectionate, so somebody had to lure the cat with food, then hold it down firmly during the precise shavings.

Yarjau and Assu said their cats are somewhat traumatized. They can tell because they are more jittery than they used to be.

The could keep their cats indoors so the sicko shaving the cats can't get at them, but they've been long time outdoor cats, and it's hard to keep them inside.

By the way, veterinarians state the obvious: You shouldn't shave a cat. You might injure it, and they need the fur. And the scary experience is obviously not good for them.

My guess is somebody around Campbell River has a strange fetish about cats. If you have a strange fetish, fine, unless it hurts somebody else, or some other being.

So, my message to the weird cat shaver in Campbell River: Get thyself in for counseling, STAT!

Or maybe somebody should shave weird squares into the cat fetish person's hair, to teach him or her a lesson?

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Selectman In Trouble For Re-Painting Town Sidewalks

George Simolaris' so-so crosswalk paintjob
in Billerica, Mass.  
I'm sure mayors, city councilors, selectmen and other community leaders are sick of hearing it:

You know, the daily drone of constituents saying, "When are you going to fix the pothole, the parking problem, the boarded up building etc. etc.

In Billerica, Massachusetts, Selectman George Simolaris heard over and over again from residents complaining about faded crosswalks.

Nothing was done for months and months.

Finally, Simolaris heard enough: He got cans of paint, and repainted six crosswalks himself, says Reuters. 

A hero? Well, maybe, maybe not.

Police ended up charging Simolaris with two counts of destruction of property. Apparently, repainting crosswalks without authorization is illegal.

Billerica Town Manager John Curren said the crosswalks weren't repainted because the town is about to embark on a street improvement project that would involve digging up some of the crosswalks, then repaving.

The town figured it would wait until after the construction to repaint. Makes sense.

Also, Simolaris did kind of a lousy paint job. Passing cars smeared the paint, and he's on the hook for $4,000 worth of cleanup, Reuters reported. 

Still, Simolaris defends himself. "I'm just trying to do right by the people in my town...I didn't think I was intervening in other people's activities or doing anything wrong."

Well, at least it's easy to find the crosswalks if you ever find yourself walking around the lovely streets of Billerica.