Thursday, November 27, 2014

Eating Too Much On Thanksgiving? Exercise With This Video

This scary woman will help you burn off those
pesky holiday pounds the country hip hop way!  
I'm a total connoisseur of the tasteless and the tacky, so this is just perfect:

You might be concerned about eating so much today, on Thanksgiving.

You don't want to overeat, get fat and not be able to fit into the super ugly Christmas sweater you've been just dying to show off.

Well, I have the perfect rescue for you. An exercise video!

Not just any exercise video, a country hip hop exercise video.

That's right, you can get your groove on and wear your leather fringes and cowboy boots all in one fell swoop.

Yes, I know nothing in the video looks like hip hop dancing, or music, or anything like that, but we're being way to picky.

And I'm being mean. The earnest woman leading this exercise class is a bit scary, but at least she's promoting exercise.

As the host of the video reminds you in a dizzying montage in the middle, this is country hip hop! (This part will make you run screaming away from your computer. More exercise! Bonus!)

I love the poor production values in the video, too. The eye strain will burn even more calories.

I worry about Jaime the tall guy on the right. Maybe it's just me, but I think he's showing off his butt a bit too much. Yeah, he's proud. I guess.

So here you go, with your country hip hop magic:

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

And You Thought Your Flight Delays Were Bad

Passengers (allegedly) push a plane to get it
going in Siberia amid temperatures in the minus 50s.  
I'm sure it's havoc in the nation's airports today, especially on the East Coast, where a snowstorm is totally screwing up Thanksgiving travel.   

But if you're stuck in some bland airport terminal, waiting for word on a flight to your destination that may or may not come in the next week, it could be worse.

I'm serious.

Up in Siberia, a plane with 70 passengers couldn't leave because the temperature was a bracing 58 below zero. (As you can imagine, winters are a bit tough in Siberia)

It was too cold the brake pads froze. If the airplane could be moved a little bit, the brake pads might have gotten warm enough for the plane to actually leave.

So, the plucky passengers all got out and pushed the plane a few feet, says the Siberian Times. 

If you're stuck at LaGuardia or something, just thank your lucky stars you don't have to push a 747 out of a snowbank.

According to Siberian Times:
Another view of the passengers pushing the
plane in frigid Siberia.  

"Reports of the incident led to worldwide praise for the stoic Siberians for their ' an do chutzpah' in the words of Agence France Presse. 

'Siberians are so tough that for them pushing a frozen plane along a runway is a piece of cake,' added Russian daily newspaper Komsomolskaya Pravda.

Social media sites were equally gushing in commending the oil workers. 'Who mentioned sanctions?...We just push together and off we fly,' wrote Dmitry Kozlov on Twitter.

'It's just an ordinary morning in Russia. People push-start a plane at minus 50,' said (one passenger)"

Siberian Times went on to say that local officials and those with the airline were not amused by the reports of passengers pushing the plane.

Those officials said the passengers didn't push the plane; it was just a social media stunt. The passengers said they really pushed the plane, so there's a bit of a conflict there.

Again, from the Siberian Times:

"Airport chief Maxim Aksyonov claimed, 'Most likely the plane's passengers, oil workers, decided to do a kind of selfie. It was a good joke and it became a big thing on the Internet. 

However, one of the 'hero' passengers... insisted the passengers did push the plane. 'We were on the bus that took us on the plane when we were asked to help the tractor (push the plane),' he said. 'Before that, we had already spent one day at the airport, waiting for our departure.

'We pushed it a short distance -- about five meters, maybe more. I worked for four years on shifts, but do not recall that we pushed the plane previously.'"

The plane, with the possible push from passengers, then managed to take off and land safely at its destination.

Next time, maybe they should just drive.

Dark British Actors Reconstruction Inane YouTube Arguments Brilliantly

Dinner table conversation turns to trading barbs
about Nicki Minaj and One Direction in a
hilarious video from Dead Parrot.  
Take some distinguished British actors of a certain age, set them in a dark, gloomy, depressing mansion, film them in black and white re-enacting the most inane, stupid arguments on YouTube comment threads, and what to you get?

Absolute brilliance.

For more than a year now, an outfit called Dead Parrot has been doing these short films re-enacting these YouTube arguments.

The tenth one has just been released, and involves an, um spirited conversation on YouTube from September, 2014 on the relative merits of Nicki Minaj,  her song "Anaconda" and the pop group boy band One Direction.

These YouTube arguments are called flame wars, and Dead Parrot's take on them is the only way to actually enjoy them.

The setting in this video is a sort of Downton Abbey type dinner table gathering, only gloomier. I swear stupidity is hilarious when it's done by older, serious, seasoned British actors.

Warning, the language in the video is definitely NSFW, because of the swearing and incredibly crude sexual references.

 The dialogue will also  kill brain cells with its stupidity. But in this setting, you'll laugh your butt off, too. This is awesome.

Here's the video:

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Charlie Brown Christmas Tree Has No Place In Reading, Pa.

This "Charlie Brown" Christmas tree in Reading, PA.
is going to be removed in favor of a better one,
says the city. Photo from WFMZ-TV.  
If you have a soft spot for Charlie Brown Christmas trees, you know, the rather sad, pathetic one Charlie Brown befriends in the holiday special, don't go to Reading, Pennsylvania.

The city put up a Christmas tree, as many municipalities do, but it got complaints immediately.

It was not big and bushy like a traditional tree, but kind of lacking in branches and greenery and vigor.

It's going to go, Reading officials said, according to television station WFMZ in Allentown.

There's been a big fundraiser going on to raise $5,000 for a new tree to be put up for another tree lighting ceremony next weekend.

The tree was the target of LOTS of insults, says WFMZ:

"'I know Reading is not doing too great,' one man who works near the tree told the news station. 'But facing this tree up here is making it even worse.'

'If I were a squirrel looking for a home for the winter, I wouldn't even go in that tree,' said another."

Consumerist says the city was to have gotten a nice tree from a farmer, but then there was a bunch of rain and the farmer wouldn't let any heavy equipment through to get the tree. So the city basically cut down the first tree they saw in a city park and went with it.

But, as I said, a nicer tree is on the way. I kind of hope some kind soul adopts the city's 50-foot Charlie Brown tree, though.

Charlie Brown trees might not be popular in Reading, Pennsylvania, but they certainly are elsewhere.

I'm stunned by the number of outfits that sell Charlie Brown trees. Apparently, outfits like Kohls and Home Depot sell tons of them. Go figure.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Vicious Guard Dog Attacks Burglar!

 Watch this vicious guard dog attack a would-be burglar in South Africa:

Kansas City Woman Takes Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball Too Far

Here's the Kansas City building after a woman
driving a stolen SUV slammed into it.  
You pop culture fanatics out there are, I'm sure familiar with the Miley Cyrus song "Wrecking Ball."  

Well, a woman in Kansas City decided to do Miley one better by becoming a literal wrecking ball.

According to the Associated Press, a woman driving a stolen SUV, a phone glued to her ear, was being chased by police at speeds of up to 80 mph, when she lost control of the vehicle (Duh!) and slammed into a building, which partly collapsed.

Surveillance video that you'll see at the bottom of this post shows the building falling dramatically in a cloud of dust.

The building stored vintage cars, several of which were damaged or destroyed. One plunged to the ground from the second floor of the building.

Police have so far not identified the human wrecking ball, who we will call Miley II.

Miley II was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries, says the AP.

Here's the surveillance video:

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Guy Tries To Steal Two Beers, Loses His Clothes Instead

Bet this guy won't try to steal beer again.
At least at the last store he tried.  
Bad news for a shoplifter up in Beaverton, Oregon.

Police said he tried to steal two beers from a convenience store in that lovely town, but the the store's owners would have none of it, says OregonLive.

In a Don't Try This At Home moment, the two owners tussled with the shoplifter for at least three minutes, trashing the store and removing all of the shoplifter's clothes, except for his boxer shorts.

Geez, after a day like that, I'd need a couple of beers. But then, I tend to hand over cash when I go to a store for beer rather than try to shoplift it. But that's just me.

The benefit of paying is, I always leave the store wearing the same amount of clothing I had when I entered the place.

In any event, Soloman Temanie-Berhane, 21, faces several charges, including third degree robbery, resisting arrest, assault on a police officer and theft.

The whole episode was caught on a store security camera. This is better than watching World Wrestling Entertainment: