Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Vermont Irene Disaster Hurts Us All

I haven't posted on this blog for a couple of days because like everybody else in Vermont, I've been dealing with what is perhaps the worst disaster the Green Mountain State has ever seen.

Four people have died, buildings and houses have washed away, hundreds of roads are closed, a few of our iconic covered bridges that had been there for over 150 years were swept away, and towns are isolated.

I'm suffering from a bit of survivor's guilt. I was extremely lucky. Property damage at my house in St. Albans, Vermont consists of a few fallen branches.
The Winooski River roars past Winooski,
Vermont Monday. 

I work as a reporter at the Burlington Free Press, so I've been talking to lots of people who lived the worst of the flood.  Vermonters, me included, are proud and parochial about our state. It's corny as hell to say, but we love our beautiful villages, farms, small shops and rivers.

Some of that is in ruins. There's a video floating around YouTube of a covered bridge in Rockingham,  Vermont collapsing in the flood. Everyone who has seen it said it brought them to tears.

The power of the water, and where it went astounds everybody. I'll never get over it. There was white water on Main Street in Brandon, Vermont that pushed a pizza restaurant 25 feet downriver. In Wardsboro, four houses disappeared. They found a roof in the middle on Route 100 in Wilmington. Nobody knows where it came from.

Many of the towns hit hardest by the flooding were some of Vermont's prettiest. Grafton. Wilmington. Weston.

Some of my favorite places in Vermont are wrecked. The Weston Playhouse. The Alchemist, a brew pub in Waterbury that had the best beer in the state. (They hope to rebuild) My favorite swimming hole in the Mad River was surely hit. I wonder what that looks like.

Below is a video I shot of the torrent rushing past Winooski, Vermont yesterday.

But my mild anxiety pales in comparison to everybody else. I know a lot of people who suddenly have no house. Or no job. No prospects. What are they going to do? Nobody knows, and that's what really gnaws.

That's the refrain I keep hearing. Nobody knows. When will the road out of town reopen? Nobody knows. When will the electricity come back on? Nobody knows. The weather has been weird. Will we get a storm like this again in the coming years? Nobody knows. And that's the scariest unknown.

As always, Vermonters are turning out in droves to help out their flooded neighbors. There's no shortage of good ideas to help. On radio call in shows yesterday people suggested we raid our undamaged gardens and take the harvest to emergency shelters.  A couple of women in Waitsfield set up a table yesterday to solicit volunteers to help business owners start cleaning up. In less than an hour, the pair had 30 people helping out.

We help each other here in Vermont.  At this point, that's about all we've got. And that just might be enough.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Irene's Magical Sunset

Hurricanes are giant heat engines, blowing hot, wet air high into the atmosphere ahead of them.

The upper atmospheric hot air forms a layer of high thin clouds that are essentially smoke coming from the hurricane's chimney. Those clouds often spread out well ahead of an advancing hurricane.

That "smoke" spread high over Vermont today, ahead of Hurricane Irene.

By tomorrow, Hurricane Irene is expected to unleash 60 mph gusts and torrential, flooding rain on Vermont.

Which means I'm not sure the nice sunset was worth it, but it was still a treat anyway, as the photos in this post show.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Thinking About Irene.....

With Hurricane Irene poised to hit the Northeast, and blast Vermont with gale force winds, flooding, power failures and a tangle of falling trees, my thought naturally turn to various aspects of this storm.

Satellite view of Hurricane Irene taking a cruise
through the Bahamas yesterday
Are people named Irene pissed off that a major storm share their name?

Who names these hurricanes anyway? After Irene, we can look forward to the rest of the hurricane season featuring the likes of Jose, Katia, Lee, Maria, Nate and Ophelia.
Will the lines at the liquor store in advance of Irene be longer than the lines at the supermarket and hardware stores?

Along those lines, what is the best Merlot to sip while riding out the storm in your (dark) home?

New York transit officials say millions of subway rats might seek higher ground as the subway tunnels flood during Irene. Pleasant thought, no? "Honey, these 3,000 rats think our living room is a Red Cross storm shelter. What in heaven shall we do?"

I wonder how many people will die stupid deaths in Irene. I don't mean the poor people killed when a tree randomly crashes through a house. I mean the people who look at the violent storm surge rolling toward the beach and say, "Let's go surfing!"

Speaking of which, how many news reporters are going to do the I can barely stand in the wind routine while standing on the beach telling viewers to stay away from the beach.

Will a two-by-four finally sail through a news reporter's head at 90 mph, thereby ending the tradition of news reporters standing on beaches during hurricanes?

You can always tell in advance where the storm will cause the worst damage. Just figure out where the Weather Channel's Jim Cantore is (He's a native Vermonter!) And for the record, last I checked, Cantore was reporting live from Battery Park in lower Manhattan.

Every November, I have a big bonfire from the piles of branches I clean up from storms on my property during the year. I'm going to have a really, really big bonfire this November, aren't I? Bring the marshmallows!

Will all that humidity and moisture from Hurricane Irene wreck my naturally curly hair?

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Muppets Vs. OK Go

Readers of this blog know that I'm obsessed with the excellent videos from the band OK Go.
The music is good, but they do make the funniest, most innovative videos.

Well, recently they just teamed up wtih one my other obsessions. The Muppets.

The Muppets and OK Go have teamed up to do a video of the theme song for "The Muppet Show" with hilarious results.

Watch this:

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Say Something NIce

I love little public pranks, especially those that are fun and make people feel a little better. We have too many negative public scenes, so why not have some goofy, smiley ones.

Which is why I like what this group called Improv Everywhere did in New York recently. The group bills itself as a "prank collective that causes scenes of chaos and joy in public places."
A couple of people accept the invite in New York
to say something nice

The group set up a lecturn with a megaphone on it. A sign on the lecturn encouraged people to pick up the megaphone and say something nice. Sure, a few people used it to promote their business or group, or just be stupid. But a lot of people said and did nice things with the megaphone, which was great.

My only worry: Flash mobs started as goofy, fun ad hoc public performance pieces. Now, some of the flash mobs are just groups of people organizing to commit crimes. I hope the inevitable copy cats to the Say Something Nice project don't go to the dark side and start hurling insults, or worse. Meanwhile, enjoy the video, below.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Zap!!! Lightning!

My weather geekdom hit me again last evening as I went on another storm chase, as severe thunderstorms crossed Vermont. I missed the wildest ones, as the storms I picked to chase weakened before I intercepted them. Oh well, Can't get them every time.

I did manage to see some cool cloud to ground lightning near Brookfield. Watch this storm video. The best moment comes a little after 20 seconds into it.

Friday, August 19, 2011

When Summer Weather Attacks

Overall, it was a nice day in northwestern Vermont today. Perfect for sitting outside for a nice lunch, a stroll along the lake, just soaking up the sun.
As a sudden downpour strikes, some diners at outdoor
tables in downtown Burlington flee, others
try to stick it out

Until, that is, until one of those tall, narrow, wet clouds passes overhead. Suddenly, the sun disappears, the sky opens up and drops a downpour, trashing your nice, outdoor lunch.

After the damage is done, in just five minutes, the sun comes back out. Back to a pleasant summer day.
One of those tall, narrow clouds that
dropped sudden showers on an otherwise
gorgeous Vermont August day. 

Party With This Dude!

Sean Stephenson rocks.

He put out a video maybe a year ago, and it has suddenly gone viral, especially now that Buzzfeed has picked it up.

No wonder it's so popular. This guy is absolutely charming. He's got some sort of disability that keeps him in a wheelchair, but he's so peppy and cheerful that no matter how bad a mood you're in, you have to smile. The video is a great crutch when something stupid gets you down.
Sean Stephenson

Stephenson looks like just an obscure fun guy in the video, but according to his Web site and bio, he's had quite a career.  His illness made people think he would die not long after birth, but he's still going strong. He's held various jobs as a political aide for various high ranking people in Washington and works as an inspirational speaker, 'natch.

Some people commenting on the video worry that people laugh at him, but I think that's very rare. Sean is so infectiously friendly in his "You're Invited to a Dance Party!" video.

Money quotes from him: "Life is supposed to be silly and not so serious."

Here's the vid: Bet you'll smile through just about all of it. And Sean has an open invite to party at my house anytime he wants

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Magical Lottery Thinking

A little gem making the rounds on line today is a survey that shows that 21 percent of Americans think that winning the lottery is the most practical means to accumulate lots of money for retirement

I suppose I could ridicule this like mad. It is magical thinking. Maybe that thunderstorm that could hit my house later today will  hail gold nuggets.  The leaves falling from the dying tree out front could turn into $50 bills on the way down to the ground.

However, winning the lottery probably IS the most practical way to accumulate cash. Our 401K's keep tanking. The employment situation means that even those of us who are lucky enough to have jobs aren't going to get raises anytime soon. And since there's a little bit of inflation going on, we're actually taking pay cuts.

I almost never buy Powerball tickets. To me, it's almost like lighting dollar bills on fire just for fun. But I think it's time I might rethink that. I can't imagine any other circumstance where I'll accumulate more money. I could work more hours, sure, but eventually, you run out of hours in the week. I could rob convenience stores, but the police tend to frown on that. Plus I'd probably get a little too nervous pointing a weapon at somebody.

I can't start a hedge fund, mostly because I don't know how to. Ponzi schemes eventually get people really, really mad at you.

So I'll keep plugging away at what I do, and invest in the occasional Powerball ticket.

Maybe I'll get lucky. Ha!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

"Pumped Up Kicks" Kicks

The radio stations have been playing the song "Pumped Up Kicks"  by a group called Foster the People ad nauseum lately.

Overplayed, yes, but it's just the type of song (or any art, for that matter) that I like.

The song's melody has a breezy, frothy pink bubblegum, summer singalong type of vibe. You don't notice the lyrics at first.

Then it hits you:

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run, outrun my gun…”
“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,
You better run, better run, faster than my bullet.”

The song is about some kid who feels put upon, and decides to massacre a lot of people with a gun.

No, I don't advocate violence. But I do love how contradictory the package is. Dark, grim lyrics set to a happy, mellow soundtrack.

So much of life is straightforward. Which is good. Who wants to be confused? But in entertainment and art, there's nothing better than starkly conflicting emotions.

One of my favorite songs is "Every Breath You Take" by The Police from way back in '83. A lot of people mistake the tune for a nice love song. And the melody suggests that. But it's from the perspective of a stalker, really. "Every breath you take/I'll be watching you."

And of course, many stalkers think they're creepy actions are love, or something but they're scary. A brillant song.

There's another song, by Elvis Costello, called "Watching the Detectives" It's got one of the best, contradictory lines in pop music: "She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake."

So, readers, do you have any other songs, or other types of art that fit this genre. Send in a comment. We'll dish.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Weird Crime, Ctd.

Every once in awhile, I have to stop and check in on how the criminal element is doing. Not well, apparently. One guy last week might have pissed away his chances with the U.S. Olympic Ski Team. A  Connecticut woman is in trouble over a fit of jealousy over a 12 year old girl who thinks the kid is after her 30 year old boyfriend.

Then there was the guy, vexed with his bad complexion, who entertained diners at a McDonald's to pop his pimples. I'm sure the McDonald's customers were thrilled to watch this guy work his skin conditon.

 First our skier. The good news is the incident now doesn't seem quite as bad as first thought, but he doesn't redeem himself either.  Contrary to earlier reports that he peed on an 12-year-old girl, he actually peed next to her and splashed her a bit. 
A nice, sober pic of Robert Viertze

Not sure why the father of the girl backed off on the story a bit, other than it's clear he's sick of the publicity, a problem I'm contributing to it in a small way.

Apparently, the U.S. Ski and Snowboard Association was not amused by our friend, Robert Vietze, 18, of Warren, Vermont, who said he had eight drinks before the flight. Um, isn't 18 under the age limit? If he was drinking, why did the bar serve him? Inquiring minds want to know.

Believe me, never drink before a flight. I once had one beer before flying to New York. Though I'm proud to report I did not cause any incidents, and nobody was particularly bothered by me, the whole experience would have been much smoother had I skipped the beer until I had an (expensive) one in Manhattan.

Vietze faces a misdemeanor charge, according to the New York Port Authority. A Port Authority spokeswoman was forced to say the following unlikely sentence: "He was intoxicated and was charged as it is against the law to pee on another person."

Thanks God for laws like that. If only it was also the law that puppies aren't allowed to pee on people, too. Are you listening, by little puppy Jackson?
Mug shot of Candace Kiley. She is accused of hitting
a 12 year old girl in a fit of jealousy.

Meanwhile, in Connecticut, Candace Kiley, 24, is in trouble for grabbing the hair of a 12 year old girl and slamming her to the floor last week, police allege. This was at a birthday party.

Seems our friend Candace thought the 12-year old girl was "looking" at Candace's 30-year-old boyfriend. It was a fit of jealousy.

Actually, I have no doubt the 12 year old kid was looking at the boyfriend, but not in any kind of you're-hot-come-get-me kinda way.

My theory is the kid was looking at the guy as in "Why are you hooked up with that wacko?

Anyway, I'm sure this mess will surely get sorted out in court. Couples counseling, anyone?

Meanwhile, Owen Lemire Kato, 23, is accused of hanging out by a Florida McDonald's, offering diners a fantastic view of himself trying to pop his impressive array of back pimples.  Turns out it's not illegal to do that in public, though it should be.

Still, according to police, he is charged with driving without a license, giving false ID to police, resisting arrest and possessing drug equipment.

Anything to get him away from eateries, no?

Monday, August 15, 2011

Thinking Snow in August?

It's muggy and rainy here in Vermont today, and being that it's August, I know a lot of winter-hardened Vermonters don't want to think about snow this time of year.

For those who don't see much snow, however, it's magical. New Zealand has been hit in the past few days by the first substantial snowfall since the 1970s. (Being in the southern hemisphere, it's winter down there)

Sure, it's causing problems.  But as this charming video shows, many people in Wellington saw the magic amidst the unaccustomed snow flakes. Worth a watch, even if you don't like snow.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Backhoe Swimming Fun

The best way to enhance the fun for the kiddies in the pool is get a backhoe involved. Seriously.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Great Summer Clouds

Wednesday evening, thunderstorms roamed the northwest corner of Vermont just before sunset, giving us some great sky viewing opportunities.

Summer cloud patterns to me are a lot better than those of other seasons. There's much more chaos in the sky,  the light can change more quickly, and they have these great vertical features that are missing during colder times of year. 

The geometry of the clouds seems to constantly change, the the sun paints the clouds every imagineable color. Those colors reflect off onto the landscape, as the photos I shot,  below, show.

A thunderstorm cloud rises high into the sky
as seen in this view looking north from Georgia, Vermont. 

Light from a setting sun undercuts dark storm clouds
in Sheldon, Vermont.

The bright orange glow of the sun just before it sets
lights up the landscape beneath threatening
clouds in Franklin, Vermont. 

A bit of the sunset's afterglow is visible
in the cool light beneath a thundershower,
looking northeast toward Jay Peak from Franklin, Vermont. 

Wanton Destruction in British Riots

Here's a shocking video of some extreme, terrible rampaging in the British riots this week. Footage was taken in Manchester. Horrifying!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Photoshop Humiliates Rioters

I can't think of much funny to say about all that awful rioting in Britain this week, but a Tumblr site gives it a good go.
In this photoshopped image, looters and police
pause during riots to play Twister.

It's called Photoshoplooter, and it adds ridiculous elements to photos of looters in action. Typical is one shot of a big bad looking male looter carrying away a male blowup sex toy doll. Another shows more big bad male looters helping themselves to Barbie dolls and accessories.

It's a great time waster, so check it out. It will make you fantasize about ways to put those looters in their place, and make them never want to commit a crime again.

Wild Storm Hits Me, I Rejoice

In the summer time, I often drive a fair distance to chase a nice big fat thunderstorm, that's just the geek I am.
Two big trees blew over in  a severe thunderstorm
yesterday in Shelburne, Vermont

Yesterday, the wildest thunderstorm I've been in this summer came to me. I have Jackson the puppy to thank for that.

It was time for Jackson to get his first checkup and some shots, so off to Shelburne, Vermont I went. Jackson got throught the veterinarian visit with flying colors. As we left a thumder was just about to break

I got in the truck just as a wave of wind and rain and hail swept in. I put the truck in part, whipped out the camera and started filming. You see pics of the aftermath of the storm in the photos here, and the video is below.

I wish I angled the truck differently, because as I was filming at least three big trees fell behind me.
Damaged trees after the severe storm
in Shelburne, Vermont yesterday.

But it was still wild to feel the truck rock in the wind and the hail rattle over the truck's roof and hood. By the way, when the video goes to just gray and white, that wasn't a mistake. That's what it really looked like.

The area hit by the storm was isolated. I happened to be right in the middle of it. Just a quarter mile to my south and north, there were few signs of wind damage.

To think I would have missed the storm if it weren't for Jackson. Thanks, buddy.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Paleontologists

Don't even ASK me how I found this Babytalk site, a sort of social network site that lets parents seek and give advice about raising kids.

But I did find a gem. It's from a concerned mother who is worried about the toy dinosaurs a friend gave her young son. 

This mom's concern seems to be that since the Bible doesn't mention dinosaurs, and EVERYBODY knows God created the Earth 6,000 years ago, there couldn't have been a creature like a dinosaur from a zillion years ago. So, is playing with a toy dinosaur inviting Satan into the child's life.

Now, this women might just be an Internet troll, somebody who just invents stupid questions and comments to push people's buttons. But it is still possible this inquiry was real, and funny imagining what she is like.

The best part of this is the many, many responses this question got. Many of them are hilarious. A fun time waster is to go through and read these responses.

Some samples:
"I thought Jesus had a pet dinosaur."

"Did they come with little stirrups and saddles to let Adam and Eve right on them?"

"Youre neighbor is a witch and she is trying to corrupt your son's mortal soul. You should probably start a prayer vigil within the hour and hope the concept of dinosaurs is not too permanently imbedded into your son's mind. It might not be too late, but you must make haste!"

"I saw the Flintstones, so you can't tell dinosaurs don't exist."

Monday, August 8, 2011

More Adorable Jackson the Puppy Being Adorable.

Yeah, I got it bad, I am smitten by our new puppy Jackson, the cocker spaniel. Now that he's used to living with us, he's turned into quite a handful.
Hug me!

That's the trouble with smart, inquisitive and active puppies. They're smart, inquisitive and active, which leads to all sorts of trouble. But even when he is at his most trying, he is a barrel of laughs, so it's worth it.

And what an ego boost he is! I come home after a long day of work and every time Jackson runs to the door and greets me like a long lost war hero. He gets so excited I think he'll burst. Anyway, people love adorable puppies being adorable, so you can look at some new photos I took of him.

How do I put up with Matt and Jeff?

 I hear something I want to attack.

A Special Bonus: Jackson also makes his YouTube debut. In it,  he saves us from a dangerous blue spruce twig. Our hero!
Watch it at the bottom of this post

Friday, August 5, 2011

A New Way to Couch Surf

It's supposed to be a warm and kind of humid weekend, so I've got an idea for you!

Couch surfing! No, I don't mean crashing in people's living rooms for the night as if you are homeless. This is actually surfing. Watch the guys in the video below as the strap a really ugly couch to a boat and enjoy the cool refreshment of a lake and some beers. Who needs a boring swim when you can do this?

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Cool Fun With Bodies

Today I offer you two videos of some pretty incredible effects people created with dancing and music.
The first is a music video from OK Go, who teamed up with Pilobulus for the video. OK Go is famous for their innovative videos, including a Rube Goldberg routine that is simply amazing.

The other video comes from last night's America's Got Talent, which features a group called Team Illuminate, which use glow lights, dancing, music, computer technology and acrobatics to really give compelling performances. They wowed the judges and the audience with their best performances yet. The videso are below, with OK Go first.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Sinatra Always Soothes

One of the biggest summertime irritants is noisy, hot construction in the middle of a city. It makes everybody who is hot and bothered even more hot and bothered.

Construction worker Gary Russo soothes rattled
nerves in NYC with his Sinatra renditions.
Gary Russo understands this. The New York subway construction worker, who lately has been helping tearing things up around Second Ave. in the Upper East Side, also understands the quickest way to soothe such hot and bothersome construction is Frank Sinatra

So, on his lunch break, he drags out a little portable karaoke machine and starts belting out Sinatra songs, according to the New York Post, via The Daily What.

Russo sings quite well, too. Anytime you hear Sinatra, a lot of the world's worries go away. Even if Sinatra is singing about heartbreak.

I think that's why so many people find Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., a current contestant on America's Got Talent, so appealing.  Like Russo, Murphy is a blue collar kinda guy who really knows how to channel his inner Sinatra.  Murphy works at a car wash in West Virginia. Or he did until people started embracing him for his performances singing Sinatra. 

When Sinatra comes from unlikely source, like from Russo or Murphy, anything annoying like city noise, construction and humiity just melts away.  Russo and Murphy are at least one antidote to our hot, contentious, noisy and annoying summer of 2011.   

Below is a nice video clip of Russo doing his lunchtime Sinatra serenade.  Russo actually looks pretty suave, even with his hard hat. He says he's from Queens. Best thing from Queens since Cindi Lauper, in my opinion. 

Monday, August 1, 2011

Jackson the Puppy Weighs in

Editor's Note: Two days ago, Darlusz Zabagaiski, the Polish frog/muse  wrote a guest post on this blog about his reaction to Jackson the puppy arriving to live with us. Today, Jackson offers the following guest post. Jackson is a nine-week old cocker spaniel. Here is his report:

Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!
Matt took this picture of me at the front door
of my new home in St. Albans, Vermont
I'm Jackson. What a week it has been! Last Monday, I was adopted at the tender age of eight weeks from where I lived with my mother and brothers near Springfield, Vermont. I now live with two guys in St. Albans named Jeff and Matt. I've been with them for a week now.

I like them, but boy, people are weird.  They have strange rules for me, and they behave really oddly. But they're fun.

Jeff came and picked me up last Monday. I was scared and pooped in the car, but he didn't seem that upset. But now both Jeff and Matt get mad when I poop in the house. But they call me a good boy when I poop in the grass outside. I just poop sometimes. I don't understand why it matters where.

Jeff gave me a little squeaky toy that's OK. But Jeff thinks it's the enemy. He has this thing called a TV, and a voice on the TV said some guy named John Boehner is mad about something called the debt ceiling. I don't get humans. How can a ceiling owe money?

Anyway, Jeff says the squeaky toy is John Boehner.  Jeff gives me the John Boehner voice of the squeaky toy. "I'm John Boehner! I'm a Republican!" I guess that means Jeff thinks he's bad. But I'm here to protect Jeff so I attack the squeaky toy named John Boehner, grrrr, Woof!, grrrr!!!! and I POUNCE on him. And I shake him like mad dog. I've got to keep John Boehner away from Jeff! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Matt needs my protection from bad things too. This morning we both went outside and there was a plastic Polar soda bottle out there. I was worried it would attack Matt. But I saved him. I barked and barked to scare the bottle, but it didn't move. I growled and pounced and I bit it! GRRRR!!!!

The bottle tried to run away by rolling down the hill but I caught that bad thing and bit it again and again. That'll teach the bottle for scaring Matt!

Jeff and Matt protect me, too. Jeff seems to be the ringleader, the one who watches over me most of the time. Matt isn't home as much, but he has his role. He comes home and I run to him every time. He knows what to do. He gives me the belly rub I need all the time to stay happy, then we wrestle. He's a lot bigger than me, but we have a pretty even battle.

Matt has this weird habit of getting this sort of black box like thing out of a bag and putting it up against his face. The black box thing has a big round front that looks like a big eye. He keeps looking at me through the box and the box goes click, click, click. Sometimes a flash of light comes from the box.

I worry that the black box is attacking Matt, so I attack the black box. But Matt pulls it away and protects it from me. Why would he protect something that's attacking his face? He's weird sometimes.

I think Jeff and Matt like me. They sit in the living room sometimes and watch TV. The flashing lights are fascinating, but I think I'm better. Cuter, too. Matt agrees. He says he's more entertained watching me than watching TV.

 I have to admit I'm more fun than the Desperate Housewives, whoever they are. I'm glad I don't live with them!  I wouldn't have gotten in the car if the Desperate Housewives came to adopt me. I think they're mean. The ladies on the Bacherlorette are just as bad.

Matt and Jeff says we're never going to watch TV when the Desperate Housewives and the Bacherlorettes are on. Jeff and Matt are so nice to me.  Although that Lady Gaga that Matt likes scares me a little.

I like to follow Jeff and Matt around, like a little shadow. As soon as they get up and walk, I run right after them. Maybe they'll give me another toy to play with, or wrestle again, or giving me one of those yummy doggy treats. Plus, Matt is sloppy when he eats. He drops things and then I can eat them up off the floor. I want to help, so I keep the floor clean, see? Woof!

The poop and pee problem is going to be an issue, though. I still don't understand why they want me to do it outside. Jeff and Matt pee inside the house, into these big white chairs. So why can't I just pee in the bedroom, in the corner? Or in the kitchen, next to the refrigerator? But I'll try to be good and go outside, if I remember to.  I promise. Woof!

I like Darlusz the Polish frog, too, but he doesn't do much. And he's got too many round shapes to chew and wrestle. But he's nice. And he says nice things. He wants to go chasing bugs with me. That will be fun. I'm glad he likes me.

I hear all these awful stories sometimes about people being mean to dogs. It makes me sad. People lock them in cars on hot days, hit them hard if they make a mistake, kick them, or abandon them. How could anyone do that to us dogs, who just want you humans to be happy.

 Jeff and Matt are such big men that at first I worried they would be mean like that. But they're softies, who treat me gently and I'm glad. They both almost cry when they hear of somebody being bad to a pet. Then they get mad at those mean people. They told me they want me to be a happy, healthy, active dog who lives with them forever.

So I'm going to do my part and make Jeff and Matt happy too. I heard Matt tell Darlusz that we all love each other, so we'll all laugh when we're happy, help each other when we're sad, and make the house a nice refuge to feel good about. I promise I will do everything I can to make that happen.

Woof! Woof! Woof!