Monday, August 1, 2011

Jackson the Puppy Weighs in

Editor's Note: Two days ago, Darlusz Zabagaiski, the Polish frog/muse  wrote a guest post on this blog about his reaction to Jackson the puppy arriving to live with us. Today, Jackson offers the following guest post. Jackson is a nine-week old cocker spaniel. Here is his report:

Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!
Matt took this picture of me at the front door
of my new home in St. Albans, Vermont
I'm Jackson. What a week it has been! Last Monday, I was adopted at the tender age of eight weeks from where I lived with my mother and brothers near Springfield, Vermont. I now live with two guys in St. Albans named Jeff and Matt. I've been with them for a week now.

I like them, but boy, people are weird.  They have strange rules for me, and they behave really oddly. But they're fun.

Jeff came and picked me up last Monday. I was scared and pooped in the car, but he didn't seem that upset. But now both Jeff and Matt get mad when I poop in the house. But they call me a good boy when I poop in the grass outside. I just poop sometimes. I don't understand why it matters where.

Jeff gave me a little squeaky toy that's OK. But Jeff thinks it's the enemy. He has this thing called a TV, and a voice on the TV said some guy named John Boehner is mad about something called the debt ceiling. I don't get humans. How can a ceiling owe money?

Anyway, Jeff says the squeaky toy is John Boehner.  Jeff gives me the John Boehner voice of the squeaky toy. "I'm John Boehner! I'm a Republican!" I guess that means Jeff thinks he's bad. But I'm here to protect Jeff so I attack the squeaky toy named John Boehner, grrrr, Woof!, grrrr!!!! and I POUNCE on him. And I shake him like mad dog. I've got to keep John Boehner away from Jeff! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Matt needs my protection from bad things too. This morning we both went outside and there was a plastic Polar soda bottle out there. I was worried it would attack Matt. But I saved him. I barked and barked to scare the bottle, but it didn't move. I growled and pounced and I bit it! GRRRR!!!!

The bottle tried to run away by rolling down the hill but I caught that bad thing and bit it again and again. That'll teach the bottle for scaring Matt!

Jeff and Matt protect me, too. Jeff seems to be the ringleader, the one who watches over me most of the time. Matt isn't home as much, but he has his role. He comes home and I run to him every time. He knows what to do. He gives me the belly rub I need all the time to stay happy, then we wrestle. He's a lot bigger than me, but we have a pretty even battle.

Matt has this weird habit of getting this sort of black box like thing out of a bag and putting it up against his face. The black box thing has a big round front that looks like a big eye. He keeps looking at me through the box and the box goes click, click, click. Sometimes a flash of light comes from the box.

I worry that the black box is attacking Matt, so I attack the black box. But Matt pulls it away and protects it from me. Why would he protect something that's attacking his face? He's weird sometimes.

I think Jeff and Matt like me. They sit in the living room sometimes and watch TV. The flashing lights are fascinating, but I think I'm better. Cuter, too. Matt agrees. He says he's more entertained watching me than watching TV.

 I have to admit I'm more fun than the Desperate Housewives, whoever they are. I'm glad I don't live with them!  I wouldn't have gotten in the car if the Desperate Housewives came to adopt me. I think they're mean. The ladies on the Bacherlorette are just as bad.

Matt and Jeff says we're never going to watch TV when the Desperate Housewives and the Bacherlorettes are on. Jeff and Matt are so nice to me.  Although that Lady Gaga that Matt likes scares me a little.

I like to follow Jeff and Matt around, like a little shadow. As soon as they get up and walk, I run right after them. Maybe they'll give me another toy to play with, or wrestle again, or giving me one of those yummy doggy treats. Plus, Matt is sloppy when he eats. He drops things and then I can eat them up off the floor. I want to help, so I keep the floor clean, see? Woof!

The poop and pee problem is going to be an issue, though. I still don't understand why they want me to do it outside. Jeff and Matt pee inside the house, into these big white chairs. So why can't I just pee in the bedroom, in the corner? Or in the kitchen, next to the refrigerator? But I'll try to be good and go outside, if I remember to.  I promise. Woof!

I like Darlusz the Polish frog, too, but he doesn't do much. And he's got too many round shapes to chew and wrestle. But he's nice. And he says nice things. He wants to go chasing bugs with me. That will be fun. I'm glad he likes me.

I hear all these awful stories sometimes about people being mean to dogs. It makes me sad. People lock them in cars on hot days, hit them hard if they make a mistake, kick them, or abandon them. How could anyone do that to us dogs, who just want you humans to be happy.

 Jeff and Matt are such big men that at first I worried they would be mean like that. But they're softies, who treat me gently and I'm glad. They both almost cry when they hear of somebody being bad to a pet. Then they get mad at those mean people. They told me they want me to be a happy, healthy, active dog who lives with them forever.

So I'm going to do my part and make Jeff and Matt happy too. I heard Matt tell Darlusz that we all love each other, so we'll all laugh when we're happy, help each other when we're sad, and make the house a nice refuge to feel good about. I promise I will do everything I can to make that happen.

Woof! Woof! Woof!

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