These "Win" Moments Are Your Perfect Wednesday TIme Waster

Looking to waste time in an entertaining way?

Watch this "Win" compiliation, which shows us that a lot of people have way too much time on their hands, but that's OK.

In this video, we see a dog really bust a ,ove, we encounter a heavy metal bird, a bus that hilariously encourages us to vote and  a surprising "motorcycle" on a rural road.

Plus, we learn how many drones it takes to screw in a lightbulb.

That and more is here:

Billboard From "Funeral Home" Brilliantly Goes After People Who Text And Drive

This billboard from the "Wathan Funeral Home" in
Toronto is causing a stir.  

I guess the Wathan Funeral Home in the Toronto area needs to drum up business.

They have a giant billboard on a major highway there that says "Text And Drive."

Texting and driving is one of the best ways to get you, or somebody else killed, so there's that.

Actually, the Wathan Funeral Home doesn't really exist. The "Text and Drive" billboard is a clever, if dark PSA  to tell all those idiots out there to stop friggin texting and driving, dammit!

It's one of my pet peeves. Maybe my biggest. All the time, on the road, their heads are down, they're swerving all over the road, or not stopping at red lights, or not going at green lights, because of the all important texts they have to send.

In my darkest moments, I think people who text and drive deserve to die, as long as they don't hurt anybody else.

After all, if you text and drive, that means you don't give a crap about anybody else. "Who cares if somebody dies. This text to my girlfriend is more important than your life,"  seems to be the thought process of those who text and drive.

Maybe if texters and drivers were brought up on murder or attempted murder charges when they cause a crash, that would teach them a lesson.

Anyway, my hostile view of texters and drivers is the same one that inspired the "Text and Drive" billboard from the fictitious Wathan Funeral Home.

The funeral home, as noted, doesn't exist, but it does have a website. 

If you go to it, you get this message:

"If you're here, you've probably seen our "Text and Drive" billboard. And if you have, you probably came to this website to tell us what horrible people we are for running an ad like that. And you'd be right.

It's a horrible thing for a funeral home to do. But we're not a funeral home.

We're just trying to get Canadians to stop texting and driving, which is projected to kill more people in Ontario this year than drinking and driving. That's right. More. And while most people wouldn't even think about drinking and driving, over half of Ontario's drivers admit to reading texts behind the wheel.

That's more than half of the drivers on the road today risking their lives, their passengers' lives and the lives of fellow motorists and pedestrians.

Which should make you even madder than our billboard did."

It sure does!

The PSA is from the Montreal ad agency St. John St., in partnership with Cieslok Media, says AdWeek.  

Boston Globe Headlines From 2017 Are Truly Scary

The would be April 9 2017
edition of the Boston Globe.  

UPDATE: 

Donald Trump reacted to the Boston Globe fake front page, predictably calling it "stupid"

"How about that stupid Boston Globe? It's worthless. It sold for a dollar."

I guess if a newspaper sells for $1 it's automatically stupid. Sell it for much more, and I guess it's OK.

PREVIOUS DISCUSSION

In case you missed it, the front page of the April 9,  2017 editions of the Boston Globe are really a nightmare.

I know, I know, it's not 2017 yet and the first paragraph of this post is not one of my famous typos.

But that imagined front page, which is on the actual front page of today's opinion/editorial section of the Sunday Boston Globe, imagines a world in which Donald Trump is indeed president.

It takes Trump's campaign promises at face value, and brings us to what the world would be like.

"It is an exercise in taking a man at his word," writes the Boston Globe editorial staff.

"Deportations To Begin " screams the headline at the top of the April 9, 2017 Boston Globe. There's a subhead that reads: "President Trump Calls For Tripling of ICE Force" and as almost an afterthought continues. "Riots Continue"

Other headlines on the front page are just as grim: "Markets Sink As Trade War Looms" and maybe one of the scariest: "U.S. Soldiers Refuse Orders To Kill ISIS Families."

That's a riff on Trump's off-stated idea that not only should we kill ISIS terrorists, but their families, too.

I guess to teach them a lesson? I dunno. What lesson?

The soldier story goes on, "The military faces a 'crisis of good order and discipline,' Pentagon officials said yesterday, after days of widespread unrest in the ranks over White House orders to kill relatives of ISIS militants. More protests were planned in support of two Army Special Forces soldiers who disobeyed direct orders to kill everyone in an ISIS compound."

It's worth going on the Boston Globe web site, read the editorial explaining their mock paper, and then clicking on each April 9, 2017 article to read them in detail.

Here's a good PDF of this front page if that makes it easier to read (probably does)

The Boston Globe does insert a bit of humor in the front page that mocks Trump. In a column that advertises articles on the inside pages of the April 9, 2017, Boston Globe, we learn that NASA engineers halted an unmanned probe on fears that the new gold leaf trim would interfere with radio communications.

We also learn that heavy spring snow has closed "Trump National Park for the first time since it dropped its loser name, 'Yellowstone' in January."

The U.S. Education Secretary is also trying to force PBS to remake "Celebrity Apprentice" using hand puppets, and the president's new romance novel has been pulled from store shelves because some of it plagarizes from a May, 1986 edition of Penthouse magazine.

Nevertheless, the April 9, 2017 Boston Globe is a clever bit of clairvoyance we should all pay attention to.

The scary thing to me is that the scenarios that play out in these articles seem totally plausible if Trump is serious about what hes saying now.  (Except maybe the humorous bits.)

Here's the basic problem: Demagogues like Trump love to spill what seem like easy, common sense solutions to deep, complex problems. But he either won't or can't predict the chain reaction of stuff that will go on.

Trump and his followers are mostly a subset of the type of people who can't think: "If I do A, then B, C and D will happen." They don't have the brain firepower to to get past "I Will Do A"

Today's Boston Globe full throttle blast won't make any of his supporters think twice, I'm sure. But it is quite an exercise in predicting the future.

And it's not a future I or most people I know want.

Crime Fighting Kids Point Helicopter In Right Direction During Crime Manhunt

In this image from a British police helicopter, kids
on an Easter Egg hunt point the way, using their bodies,
toward two burglary suspects police were looking for.  

Some kids in Surrey, England found a quick way to fight crime while out on an Easter Egg hunt.

Surrey Police were chasing down a couple of burglary suspects and the National Police Air Service had a helicopter in the air looking for the two men.

Several kids, ages six to 12, accompanied by parents,  spotted the police helicopter overhead and correctly guessed the cops in the air were looking for the two men the kids had seen earlier.

The kids quickly got down on the ground in a plowed field and formed an arrow with their bodies to point the helicopter in the right direction, Surry Police said.

The helicopter crew steered in the direction the human arrow was pointing and spotted the two crooks. They relayed that information to Surrey Police on the ground, who quickly arrested the pair.  .

"The swift action taken by the group of parents and their childres was the sort of thing you would usually associate with an Enid Blyton adventure, but their ingenuity proved a great help for our crews," said Sgt. Paul Sochon of the National Air Service Police.

After the chase, the helicopter landed so airmen aboard could thank the children. The children responded by sharing chocolate Easter treats with the crew from the helicopter.

All in all, a great day for everyone, except the burglers.

Here's a video of the incident taken from the NPAS helicopter:

Here's A Devilish Little Leprechaun To Celebrate St. Patrick's Day With

Meet Rockwell Lawrence, aka a naughty Leprechaun, who seems to be causing quite a bit of trouble this St. Patrick's Day.

The six month old's dad, Alan, (proprietor of TheDadBlog) through the miracles of photography and photoshop shows us what the bad little Irish guy has been up to so far on St. Patrick's Day.

Don't worry, the house, and especially the dog are OK. Photoshop, as noted.

You can seen more photos of this at Bored Panda, to make your green Irish eyes laugh even more.

Beneath the series of pics in this post, (below) scroll all the way to the bottomo to be sure and watch the YouTube slide show of little Rockwell both at Christmas and at St. Patrick's Day.

Here's Some Television Ads Improved With A Little Editing

Some television ads, edited and tweak for improvement. 

BoingBoing pointed out an outfit called r/CommercialCuts which takes familiar television commercials, and tweaks them a little through the power of judicious editing.  

Some sick minds there, but hilarious.

As BoingBoing notes, Digg has some excellent samples of r/CommercialCuts work. Here are two I know you'll like, if you're a sick puppy like me:  

One is a revamped Princess Cruise ad:



And you know that charming Jif Peanut Butter commercial where the kid makes his own lunch before heading off to school? That's not all he made:

The Fact That OK Go Just Released Another Video Made My Day And More

OK Go put out another video today, and that fact makes me extremely happy.  

Some readers might remember I'm a huge, HUGE fan of their videos.

For the uninitiated, OK Go is part band, part video production team. They put out amazing, intricate music videos for their songs.

You might remember their incredible Rube Goldberg inspired video for their 2010 song "This Too Shall Pass" which went totally viral. It now has something like 43 million hits on YouTube.

OK Go's latest video is for their song, "The Writing's On the Wall" and this time, the song contains a series of optical illusions that will totally wow you.

Here's the video:

Finally, Some Good From NSA: They're A Convenient Mugger Deterrent

We've been up and arms for months now over the NSA,  because, thanks largely to Edward Snowden, we're learning more and more every day it seems about how far reaching and insidious their spy making seems to be.

Since I already wrote the letters "NSA" they're probably on laser alert on me right now. Hi there, spies!

Today, though, I learned how the NSA can come in handy for people like you and me, at least in rare instances.

We get this from a woman in Washington, DC, who was confronted by a mugger who wanted her wallett and cell phone.

Thinking quickly--this woman is brilliant-- she told the mugger he could have the wallet and phone, but since she works for the NSA, they'll trace him, and when they do, life will become quite uncomfortable for the mugger, if you know what I mean.

The woman doesn't work for the NSA. She was fibbing. She works for some Washington DC-based nonprofit.

But the mugger didn't know this. He backed off.  And the woman kept her wallet and her phone.

Though the NSA is probably watching her like a hawk now.

Sheep Have Huge Protest Rally, Protest Idiot Yelling Nonsense At Them

Protest rallies are all the same, at least the peaceful ones.

To the demonstrations, sheeple!  

Somebody with a bullhorn yells that the demonstrators want X

The demonstrators yell back that they indeed want X.

On and on it goes, until everybody is so fed up with all the yelling that nobody wants to give the demonstrators the X that they want.

But the herd in the video below is different.  I'm not sure what they want, but they're so great in organizing for their demands that I'm willing to give it to them: