Install A New Roof, Get An AR-15

This guy owns a roofing company and, if you live
in Alabama, will give you a free AR-15 if you
let his company replace your roof.

My house needs a new roof and we've been talking with roofers about styles, costs, bids, etc.

Strangely, not one of these roofers has offered us an AR-15 if we go with them.

It would be different, apparently, if we lived in Alabama.

A strange ad has gone batshit viral in which a hot looking redneck guy who owns Digital Roofing Innovations offers up the gun in his ad.

Undercutting his macho, hillbilly image is the tiny star-patterened short shorts he's wearing. I'll admit that though the ad is painful to watch,  the guy in the ad, Zack Blenkinsopp has a physique that's easy on the eyes.

You can watch the ad at the bottom of this post. In it, he gets out of a car, demands a beer, he opens the can and it suds all over his face. Then he gives back the can to someone off camera and demands the empty not be recycled because "recycling's stupid."

Then he calls "rifle" and catches the AR-15, and offers his pitch for the free rifle if you get a roof job from his outfit.

"Some of you might be sittng there saying, 'Man this sounds like a gimmick.' A gimmick, you say? Well, I'm a gosh darn Navy veteran, active duty eight and a half years. My roofing company's not a gimmick and this baby's not either. It's here to protect you and your family."

"Donald Trump says make America great again. I say make America gun again. MAGA!" 

Well, OK. I guess it would be fine to have the AR-15 to, I don't know, prevent someone from stealing your brand new roof.

Everybody is rolling their eyes at this ad, but I'm sure Blenkinsopp is having the last laugh. According to Al.com,  Blenkinsopp has a digital marketing background. He put the ad on Facebook, and pretty soon the thing went totally viral, so it seems he knew what he was doing.

Blenkinsopp assured Al.com that although he's all rednecky in the ad, but he and his business partner are are well-traveled, educated guys who have open minds.

For those of you just dying for an AR-15 if you get a roof job, the promotion is only available to Alabama residents. But if you don't want an AR-15, they'll instead give you a pistol, a hunting rifle, or a gift card to an indoor range.

And by the way, you have to go through all the hoops to get the guns legally. The roofing company will give you a voucher, then you take the voucher and go to a gun store. That way you get your AR-15 legally.

Here's the ad:

Body Stuffed In Trunk Was Just Dora The Explorer

A Dora the Explorer pillow like this one was mistaken
for a murdered body in an Alabama car trunk.  

Poice in Heflin Alabama got an alarming report from a person who saw a body stuffed into the trunk of a black Hyundai with Arkansas plates at a gas station in nearby Birmingham, AL.com reports.

The BOL went out! (For the innocent, BOL is Be On the Lookout) for the crime car heading east on Interstate 20.

Authorities spotted the car, police swarmed it, and ordered the family inside the car out. One of them was the criminal for sure, but it probably wasn't the child that had been in the back seat.

Police opened the trunk and expected the worst. And it was bad, but not like that. In the trunk was a body pillow and a Dora the Explorer pillow inside a garbage bag, AL.com says. 

A Dora the Explorer pillow is unfortunate, but at least nobody died.

Police said the way the pillows and garbage bag in the trunk were arranged, it was easy to understand why somebody might have thought it was a body.

The family who was in the car when it was pulled over won't be charged, of course. They did nothing wrong.  "The family was very understanding about how this could have happened. We were very relieved."

Better safe than sorry, right? So I can't blame whoever called the police to report the body.

And it was a nice distraction from the big sex scandal Alabama's governor finds himself in. 

Let's Make Appliances, Tires, Etc. Self Destruct, Just For Fun

Apparently, making washing machines self-
destruct is a thing.  

Here's a post for you if you are in a destructive mood and want to get your frustrations out. 


There seems to be a mini-trend on line of putting bricks in operating washing machines or otherwise bolloxing up appliances, cars, other equipment to make them self destruct.

Yeah, I know. People will do anything for kicks.

Yet, it's strangely fun watching this sort of thing:

Oddly, there are TONS of videos on YouTube of people making washing machines self-destruct. Everyone needs a hobby, apparently.

Here's a washing machine gradually falling to pieces. It's surprisingly compelling:



Now, let's set a washing machine on fire and turn it on to see what happens:



Next we have a guy who supposedly does the ultimate tire burnout. Again, not sure why, but it looks dangerous to me. I can picture the gas tank exploding. Don't try this at home, kiddies:

Vine Compilation To Waste More Time

Supposedly, this is maybe the most popular Vine compilation on YouTube, for whatever that's worth.

But watching these little six second snippets of people being a bit odd is strangely entertaining.'

A good time waster on a cold January day:

Did Late 1970s Rock Band Supertramp Forecast the 9/11 Attacks?

There's a lot of crazy conspiracy theories about every major news event and tragedy we've ever had.

Does this goofy album cover from 1979 foretell
the 9/11 terror attacks? One wacko in Britain
seems to think so. 

That certainly includes the terrible terrorist attacks on New York's World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001.

Some theories are nuttier than others. I don't mean to make comedy out of a national tragedy, but here's a 9/11 conspiracy theory that is the nuttiest ever.

Apparently to at least one person, the cover of Supertramp's 1979 album "Breakfast In America" foretold the terror attack, according to the UK Mirror. 

As you can see, the album cover is pretty goofy to begin with. It's a view out a plane window of the lower Manhattan sky line, rendered mostly in white diner supplies.

On the wing is a matronly, happy waitress, hoisting a glass of orange juice like some low brow Statue of Liberty.

Now, the theory about Supertramp was posted by somebody on David Icke's web site. Icke promotes all kinds of out there conspiracy theories

I'm not sure if Icke endorsed the Supertramp theory, but like I said, it's doozy.

I am not making this up. So here goes;

The fact that the album came out in 1979 is somehow a reference to 9/11. I'm not sure how.

The planes that flew into the World Trade Center had breakfast served on them, and the name of the album is "Breakfast in America."

Also, breakfast in American is somehow equated with a fight for freedom. I'm not sure how.

And notice the position of the glass of orange juice in front of the twin towers on the album cover. See? That's a fireball!

The goofy waitress is showing the terrorists precisely where the target is!

Also, a mirror image of the album cover makes the "U" and "P" in "Supertramp" look like "9/11"

I guess. If you say so.

For fun,  we ought to investigate this conspiracy further, beyond the superficial stuff that appeared in the Icke web site. In other words, now I WILL make stuff up.

If you use your imagination enough, you can come up with all kinds of connections. Let's try, shall we?

One of the tunes on "Breakfast in America" was called "The Logical Song"  And these conspiracy theories are logical, right? Um, no?

And the lyrics of "The Logical Song" go something like this:

"I said now, watch what you say
Now we're calling you a radical
a liberal, fanatical, criminal
Won't you sign up your name
We'd like to feel you're acceptable,
respectable, presentable, a vegetable."

See, The New World Order, or whoever supposedly attacked the Twin Towers in Conspiracy World were signalling in 1979, through Supertramp, that we needed to obey these overlords or else!

Another song on "Breakfast In America" was called "Goodbye Stranger" an obvious reference to the people the terrorists were planning to kill.  Or something like that.

The point of this exercise is to prove how easy it is to create half baked, super duper crazy conspiracy theories that people will actually believe. Not many people, but some.

I'm just afraid now that I've analyzed "Breakfast in America" further, the conspiracy wackos will turn to me for more proof that one of the worst attacks on innocent civilians was at least partly the work of a half-forgotten British rock band.

Hey, you want more proof Supertramp was behind this horrible terrorist attack?  In 1974, the band released an album called "Crime Of The Century"

I'm Getting Singer Pink To Say F.U. To Congress

The awesome singer Pink came out with a song about five years ago called "So What"

A chainsaw would feel good right now, as I watch the news
Pink knows how to do it.  n

The song is her saying "Screw you" to a former lover, but it can apply to anyone you want nothing more to do with.

We're still all mad at Congress, so this video is dedicated to Washington lawmakers.

"So What" feels totally cathartic as you listen to it, so I recommend hearing it when you start yelling at the television when the news from Washington comes on.

Enjoy!

Tetherball Friday!!

Tetherball: I  haven't thought of that game in ages.  And a couple videos now have me wanting to play a game or two.

 Unfortunately, there are no humans near me right now to set a tetherball game. Maybe I can ask the bear and the dogs in the following two videos for help.

Hell, it's just Friday fun and goofiness. Why not, right?

Mayoral Candidate Emerges From Lake In His Underwear, Promises Not To Visit Strip Clubs

The fine citizens of Minneapolis have about 30 people to chose from to be their next mayor.

A still from Wagner's epic campaign ad.  

The candidate who has made the biggest splash, so to speak, is a guy named Jeffrey Alan Wagner.

He's a long shot, but has gotten TONS of free publicity lately over his unique campaign ad, in which he  emerges from a lake in his underwear, tells viewers to wake the @#$*& up and assures us that as mayor, he will no longer go to strip clubs.

I haven't found much else regarding his platform, other than he's for renter's rights. His Facebook page is pretty thin.   Wagner says his campaign web site will go live on October 1, so I can't wait for that.

But his ad has already gotten close to 400,000 hits on YouTube, so it's safe to say he's gone viral.

Here's the amazing ad:

Foxes On Trampolines, Giant Tire Hula Hoops. It's The Weekend

Since it's the weekend and time to play, I present you two examples of how to do it.

In the first video, some foxes came down from the woods somewhere and discovered a trampoline.  They quickly figured out how to have fun:




Next, we encounter a gentleman who wanted to hula hoop. But he didn't have one handy.

So, he tried the next best thing. He found a 100 pound tractor tire, and just used that as a hula hoop. Why not, right?




So, whether you bounce on the trampoline or hula hoop this weekend, hope you have a great time

The Weather Channel Casino?

I love the idea floated by The Onion: They report The Weather Channel will open a casino in Vegas!

I wish The Onion weren't satirical and the Weather Channel was really opening a weather casino.  If you win, you get a sunny day. You lose big? A dangerous, EF5 tornado. trashes your house.

An example of the wall decor in the
new Weather Channel casino?  

Maybe you can put bets on which city you want destroyed in a hurricane.  Does it rain or snow in the hotel rooms?  Is there batting cages where you use baseball-sized hailstones to practice? Does the spa have lightning treatment to really give you a charge?  Is the sauna just a one way flight to Houston in August?

 Does the HVAC system in the hotel run on air from a Pheonix heat wave to warm the rooms  and air from a winter Barrow, Alaska cold snap for the summer air conditioning?

Does Weather Channel meteorologist Jim Cantore get awe struck by lightning in the ballrooms as part of the casino's entertainment? Does Mike Bettes chase tornadoes down the hallways?

The best line of The Onion report  comes at the end (spoiler alert!) of the Onion report when they talk about the deal with Celine Dion despite her fear of sleet.

You know, I don't usually feel a kinship to Celine Dion, but in this case I agree. I hate sleet, too.