Bundy Clowns In Oregon Need Their Cowboy Boots In Court, Dammit!

Ammon Bundy, one of the ringleaders in that
Oregon wildlife refuge standoff last winter,
says the courts are being the fashion police
and won't let him dress up like a cowboy for his trial.

Let's check in with the guys who took over that wildlife refuge in Oregon last winter again, shall we?

When last we looked, back in May, some of them wanted to have their guns with them in jail while they awaited trial.

One of the ringleaders, Ryan Bundy, said not allowing him his guns in jail violated his Second Amendment rights.

The jail, and a judge didn't buy the argument, and the poor guy had to languish without his guns. I'm crying so hard for Bundy and his suffering that my office is now flooded with tears.

Now Ryan's trial is coming up, along with brother Ammon Bundy is upset that he will not be allowed to wear his cowboy boots in the courtroom during the proceedings.

According to OregonLive:

"Ammon Bundy's lawyer J. Morgan Philpot argued that his client is innocent until proven guilty and should be allowed to wear the civilian clothes that he chooses.

'We would prefer our clients not look like disheveled slackers in front of the jury,' Philpot told the judge during Tuesday's pretrial conference hearing. 

Philpot added later in the day in a written motion, 'These men are cowboys and given that the jury will be assessing their authenticity and credibility, they should be able to present themselves to the jury in that manner.'"

What, is this a costume contest and not a trial? They expect Ammon to show up in his cowboy boots, and the jury will swoon, "OOOHH!! A real cowboy!" That means we need to let him go. Yippee Ki-Yay!

The reason there is a dress code in court for defendents - no ties, belts, steel-toed boots, etc - is nobody wants the accused to weaponize his or her fashion accessories to launch an escape attempt. Or assault somebody.

The problem with Bundy's cowboy boots is that leg shackles used when he's led into court won't work. (The shackles are removed once he's in the courtroom.)

There's already photos of what the Bundys might wear in court, because their pictures were taken for the jurors' books.

OregonLive says both Bundys are in suit jackets but no ties in the photos, and the judge said the two look perfectly presentable for court appearances in those photos.

OregonLive had another fun tidbit about Ryan Bundy in its court fashion article about the bumbling brothers.

Ryan Bundy challenged prosecutors' assertion that he aided and abetted in the theft of government property, specifically the theft of cameras during the standoff last winter.

Buddy cited "basic Biblical principle" saying, "A man will be accountable for his own sins and not that of another. "

In other words, Bundy is saying he can't be prosecuted for helping somebody steal something. He's only accountable with God.

No, he's also accountable to the law here on Earth. "The Biblical standards don't apply, says the judge.

Wacko Oregon Land Takeover Guys Say They Want Their Gun Rights Back While In Prison

One of this year's Oregon standoff guys,
Ryan Bundy is in jail and says that, among
other things, he's mad that his right to
have a gun with him has been taken away.  

Remember those idiots who took over that Oregon wildlife refuge earlier this year?

They are, of course, in jail, awaiting trial in connection with that messy case.

The group, led by the ever-esteeemed ringleaders Ammon and Ryan Bundy, are threatening to sue, saying their Constitutional rights are being withheld from them while awaiting trial.

Most of it is the typical whines: They're not letting us into the library enough, they're not giving us certain clothes so they can practice their Mormon religion, they're not letting the group meet with each other to strategize, blah, blah, blah.

But a statement in a great article from Oregon Public Radio telling us what Ryan Bundy had to say caught my eye:

"My rights are being violated. My right to right life is being violated. All of my First Amendment rights are being violated. My right to freedom of religion is being violated....... My Second Amendment rights are being violated. I never waived that right. My Fourth Amendment rights are being violated."

Well, first of all, if you're reading this, you see an example of Ryan Bundy exercising his First Amendment right to free speech. Since he's still alive, his right to life is being honored.

The real wild one is Ryan Bundy saying that his Second Amendment rights are being violated. That's the gun rights amendment. So, he should have the right to have his guns with him while he's in jail?

What could go wrong?

Before Last Night's Arrest, The Oregon Militia Standoff Gets Sumo Weirder.

Before that stupid Oregon standoff took a more
serious turn last night, this guy challenged New
Jersey Gov. Chris Christie to a sumo match over
the matter, proving how weird the whole incident
has been getting. 

Last night, the standoff at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon by those weird militia guys got more serious, with one of them killed and seven others arrested, apparently as they made their way to some sort of community meeting they called.

The deceased guy is apparently LaVoy Finicum, the de facto spokesman for the militants. Their ringleader, Ammon Bundy, was one of those arrested, we hear. 

I don't know if this the end of the takeover of the wildlife refuge by these wannabe revolutionaries, who apparently think the US of A belongs to these rednecky white guys and nobody else.

There are still some of them holed up at the refuge, and at last report, it was unclear what would happen next.

The whole thing has kept taking stranger and stranger turns anyway.

Now a warning, don't watch the video at the bottom of this post if you're eating or particularly squeamish. More on that in a moment.

Despite the increasing seriousness of the Oregon situatio, I can't resist this little gem.

One of those odd militia guys who took over that wildlife refuge in Oregon has a challenge for New Jersey Governor and Republican Presidential Candidate Chris Christie.

Boy, is it a challenge!

Chris Christie is apparently unimpressed with this band of so-called "Patriots" that took over that Malheur National Wildlife Preserve in Oregon,

The wannabe frontier guys or whatever in Oregon aren't happy with Christie for not being a wackadoodle who thinks white guys who pretend to be soldiers and frontiersmen so they can use publicly owned land only for themselves at the exclusion of the rest of American taxpayers who also own the land.

Enter Kelly Gneiting with a video, and it's quite a video, as Raw Story and many other media outlets report.

As we see in our video, Gneiting is a big, BIG man, pretty much naked except for one of those sumo wrestler loincloth outfits. He challenges Christie to a sumo wrestling match that would determine the outcome of the Oregon wackos' millitants' occupation.

I guess the "logic" as it were, is that Christie is a big guy himself, so we'll do a sumo match to settle the matter. I suppose Gneiting figures a sumo match is a better way to settle a difference of opinion, then, say, debating the issue.

In the video, Gneiting claims to be Christie's brother. He wants Chrisite to "throw on a diaper" and "go to war over the Constitution."

Why do I suspect that Christie is not going to do that?

After jokingly claiming he rolled "his brother Christie" down the stairs in a sleeping bag, Gneiting made this offer:

"Bring that big 'ol belly over here, and let's' slap bellies...."

(Editor's note: EWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!)

Gneiting goes on:

"......I'm talking about 10 bouts - you win one of out those 10 and me and these other good, constitutional folk - I'm going to make them sumo wrestlers too -- all these good, constitutional folk, we'll disperse. But if I win all 10, I get to roll you down the stairs in that sleeping bag again. Woo-hoo, little Chrissy!!!'

Oookay!

Given the very unfortunate death and the somewhat more fortunate arrests last night,  and the fact that Christie has at least a minimum of common sense, I don't anticipate writing a follow up post detailing the highlights of the would-be Christie-Gneiting sumo match.

Because of course it won't happen.

So all we have is Gneiting, in his classic sumo video, inviting Christie to the match.

Watch if you dare: