PETA's Animal Cliche Suggestions Are Basically Beating A Dead Horse

PETA doesn't want us to use cliches that seem mean to animals.
Their alternative suggestions need work, though. 

There's an amazing number of cliches out there that involve animals.

That's the elephant in the room. There's more than one way to skin a cat. That dog don't hunt. Don't let the cat out of the bag. One trick pony. The lion's share. Pig headed. The cat's meow. Dog days of summer.  

Well, PETA, the strident animal rights group, thinks we ought to change some of our animal cliches to not celebrate cruelty to animals. Never mind that people who use these cliches generally don't want to abuse animals.

But never mind.

PETA decrees that we must change the following cliches to the some non-cruel alternatives. So here we go:

"Kill two birds with one stone" must now be "Feed two birds with one scone." (I had no idea birds like scones. Go figure.)

"Be a guinea pig" should become "Be the test tube."

"Beat a dead horse." should turn into "Feed a fed horse."  If the horse has been fed, it's not hungry. Why would you want to force food this poor creature? That seems cruel, but whatever. Plus, the fed horse thing makes no sense.

"Bring home the bacon" needs to change to "Bring home the bagels."

"Take the bull by the horns" should  become "Take the flower by the thorns." Um, most flowers don't have thorns. And even if they do, why should anyone punish themselves by poking themselves wityh thorns. You CAN be careful.

Now, like most people, I'm really, really not into torturing animals. But as usual, don't you think PETA is taking things just a wee bit too far?

As you'd expect the Twttersphere is not having it.

@tryzick put in a dig in by saying: "Raising awareness and teaching us new phrases? That's killing two birds with one stone right there."

Another wag, Nick Wing, a reporter at Huffington Post, @nickpwing added this: "We should also addressthe 800-pound gorilla in the room who is the  perfect weight because we don't body shame here."

Wing also observed this truthism: "Few things unite the right and left like an opportunity to dunk on PETA." 

At least the organization is one of those great uniters, huh?

Every Obnoxious Corporate Ad Cliche in One Video Will Make You Laugh and Groan

Hat tip to Shay Totten via Twitter for this video that encapsulates every stupid cliche you've ever seen in all those ads that say what a great company Corporation X or whatever is.

I swear, every corporation in America just
reruns this parody ad and calls it their special
message about how special their special
corporation is.  

"This is a Generic Brand Video" is written by Kendra Eash for McSweeney's Internet Tendency. All the video clips are from the stock footage source dissolve.com

Or, as Adweek put it, the ad is "everything you hate about advertising in one fake video that's almost too real.

The fake ad really did have my eyes rolling as I recognized all the other ads I've seen from Corporate America. Gawd, do any of these companies, and their ad agencies, have just one single original idea?

Of course it's cheaper just to crank out the same old same old. But, hint: It's not making me like your company any better and it's making me less likely, not more likely, to buy your products and services.

But here's the video, and you'll recognize every moment from other commercials, and you'll laugh: