Lousiana Lawmaker Introduces Legislation To Ensure Strippers Are Young And Fit

As a "joke" about overregulation, Louisiana
House of Reps member Kenny Havard proposed
legislation banning strippers who are
over 28 years old or weigh more than 160
pounds. Yeah, the guy's icky. 

Most of us have found ourselves steaming over some injustice and we mutter, "There ought to be a law...."

Well, Kenny Havard did just that, and -- What luck! --- he's a lawmaker. He's a Republican member of the Louisiana state legislature.  

This week, he briefly introduced an amendment that would require strippers to be at or under the age of 28 and weigh less than 160 pounds.

That would rid the world of old, ugly strippers, Huzzahhh!

If your first thought was why in the world would a politician be that concerned about strippers when there's so many other pressing issues, join the club.

According to the New Orleans Times-Picayune, the Louisiana legislature was considering a bill that would raise the age at which you could be employed as a stripper from 18 to 21.

The concern is the younger women are being exploited, possibly by human traffickers, so they want to raise the age limit.

It looks like the bill will pass both the Louisiana House and Senate, and it appears the governor of that fine state will sign the measure.

The law will not include Havard's amendment, though. Mostly because idea is so icky. And that Havard would introduce such an amendment makes him icky.

"I've never been more repulsed to be part of" the House of Representatives, said Rep. Julie Stokes R-Kenner, as quoted in the Times-Picayune.

I suppose he would want to go from strip club to strip club as an "inspector" to make sure the strippers are sufficiently beautiful, to his eyes anyway.

Havard said he introduced the amendment as a kind of "joke" to protest government overregulation.

Oh, OK.

He also said criticism of his amendment was political correctness and he won't apologize for it.

Still, Havard was unsuccessful. Next time you skulk around the strip clubs of New Orleans, there's a chance some of the strippers will be over 28 years old.

I'm sure you'll survive.

Chinese Government Demands People Stop Hiring Strippers For Funerals

A new low in tastelessness? People are hiring
strippers in China to perform at funerals.  

Ever been do a funeral and all of a sudden strippers came out in the middle of the proceedings and did sexy, slutty pole dances?

Didn't think so.  

Unless you were in China, where apparently, this is a thing.

Apparently, families of the dearly departed hire strippers for funerals in the hopes of drawing larger crowds.

Sex sells. Even at funerals.

I know, I know. Strippers at a funeral doesn't make for an especially dignified, poignant send off to the dearly departed.

According to the Wall Street Journal, the strippers would draw this big crowd I metioned, which is supposedly a harbinger of good fortune in the afterlife.

"It's to give them face,' one village explained, 'Otherwise no one would come," reports the Wall Street Journal.

The Chinese government, though, is a party pooper, and is cracking down on these funeral strippers.

Again the Wall Street Journal is on it, saying the Ministry of Culture is working with police to stop these stripper performances.  Already one organizer of a funeral stripping troupe has been detained for 15 days and fined about $11,300 for one such performance

There are a a lot of Chinese imports here in America, but I really, really hope this is something that does not catch on. (It already has caught on in Taiwan)

I definitely don't want some pneumatic Barbie with big fake boobs in my face when I'm reflecting on the wonderful life of some friend or relative that has passed on. I mean, would you?

For once, the Chinese government and I stand in rare solidarity: No more strippers at funerals, please. Ugh.

"Thunder From Down Under" Male Strippers Rumble With Thief, Strip Him Of Dignity

OK boys and girls, here's today's latest lesson on who not to commit a crime against:

These guys made mincemeat out
of a guy who broke into their backstage
dressing room in Las Vegas and tried
to steal their costumes.

That lesson: Don't try to rob from a troupe of male strippers.

According to the Huffington Post and Associated Press, a man tried to steal a suitcase full of custumes and props belonging to the all-male revue Thunder From Down Under.

The guys in the revue were in  --where else? --- Las Vegas for a live, very live, performance. Meanwhile, the suspect went into the dressing rooms to steal the stuff.

He was later identified as Joey Kadmiri, 24, and officials said they --surprise!--- suspect Kadmiri was under the influence of meth, says the Los Vegas Journal-Review

The dancers, saw the thief and decided to give sort of an impromptu MMF fight sort of performance.

The thief actually tried to shoot one of the cast members with a .44 caliber Magnum, but one of the dancers got the gun away from the guy.  Then the members of Thunder From Down Under beat the crap out of Kadmiri.

Think about it:  Whatever you think of members of male dance revues like Thunder From Down Under, they have to be pretty athletic and strong. Those muscles they spend hours developing at the gym are actually good for something other than to drool over.


And all that dancing must make their endurance pretty good, too.

A not so good looking Joey Kadmiri after
police said Thunder From Down Under attacked
him for stealing their props and such.  

So, getting attacked by Thunder From Down Under can't be pleasant.  Our thief had to be treated for injuries before being hauled off to jail.

From the Huffington Post/Associated Press:

"A jailhouse booking photo shows a black eye and facial bruises from the backstage scuffle. "The suspect definitely got the worst of it," Las Vegas Police Officer Laura Meltzer said.

The suspect is charged with felony attempted murder, armed robbery and burglary with a weaon, police said. If convicted, he could be in jail for decades.

And our suspect is now even less pretty than our guys from Thunder From Down Under.

Dance on, boys!!