Impatient Man Finds Another Way To Get Off Plane

This guy decided to leave a plane by opening an emergency
exit and getting out on a wing because it took too long
to get out the usual way. 

If you've ever flown, one minor annoyance is the wait to get off the plane once it lands, particularly if you're seated near the rear of the plane.

The way the airlines overcharge for checked baggage, people cram their stuff as tightly as possible into the overhead compartments. Which means it takes FOREVER for people to get their stuff and get out.

One man on a Ryanair flight from London that landed in Spain found another way out. He just opened the emergency exit and got out onto the wing of the plane.

This is not a recommended means of egress. You do get in trouble for it. In this case, the man, identified as a Polish national, was coaxed back onto the plane and arrested. 

Here's a video from another passenger:

Vermont's Best Mugshot Of The Year

A teenager, home alone in the southern Vermont town of Marlboro, called police at around 3:30 this morning saying there was a strange man in the house, sleeping.

Which led to Vermont's best mug shot of the year, as you can see in this post.

According to NECN and other area media outlets, the strange man in the house turned out to be Sean J. Barber, 43, of nearby Wilmington. Police said they found Barber sleeping in the teen's house, in a clow costume, drunk and possessing cocaine.

So I guess he's in trouble, given the trespassing and drug possession charges he faces.  Definitely a sad clown look, don't you think?

Plus the embarassment of the mug shot, of course.

Announcing The Worst Maid Of Honor At Wedding World Champion!

Amanda Willis is likely the world
record holder as worst wedding
maid of honor ever. 

Everybody wants their wedding to be memorable.

Mine was!        
 
Fortunately, my wedding four years ago was memorable in a great way, thanks to the wonderful people who helped us celebrate.

Sometimes, though, the people who are supposed to help most at a wedding fail at the job.

We now have the world record holder for the person who does the worst job at this.

The good news is the actual wedding ceremony for David and Jennifer Butler in Florida went off beautifully.

The bad news is maid of honor Amanda Willis turned things into a nightmare as soon as the reception started.

However, as NBC News 2 in Fort Myers, Florida explains it, bride Jennifer Butler said Willis hit the bottle hard as soon as the reception kicked off.

"She was drun within 20 minutes to a haf hour," Butler said.

"She was a mess. She drank almost a whole entire bottle of Fireball," said wedding guest Robert Templeton.

From there, Willis went up to the Best Man, Brian Butler (David's brother) and grabbed his car keys and jumped in his car.

Brian Butler chased after her, and Willis almost backed over him. He then grabbed onto the car and hung on. He was dragged a bit, but somehow reached into the car and cranked the emergency brake.

Phew!

But it wasn't over yet! Oh no. Bridesmaidzilla had MUCH more work to do.

Guests wrestled Willis out of the car, and she went back into the reception, grabbed a big bottle of Captain Morgan and started guzzling.

She then threw a punch at Templeton, the wedding guest.

That's when someone called the police.

On the way to jail, Willis pretended to have asthma and a seizure, she exposed herself to deputies, assauted two medics and kicked over her bed pan..

Geez.

NBC News 2 said Butler and Willis had been best friends before this incident, but Butler no longer considers Willis a friend.

Ya think?

Although it might not have hurt if Butler had done a background check on Willis. This was Willis' ninth arrest in Charlotte County, Florida.

Anti- Ryan Lochte Protest At DWTS Has To Be Stupidest Demonstration Yet

Two idiots under arrest for storming the stage at
"Dancing With The Stars" because Ryan Lochte was there.

I have to say I have absolutely no sympathy, no allegiance to those dopey people who rushed the stage to protest, of all things, Ryan Lochte performing on the show "Dancing With The Stars."

I'm not a fan of Lochte, either, believe me. But that incident on "Dancing With the Stars" that filled the airwaves with fluff and nonsense Tuesday was the dumbest thing ever.

The Lochte DWTS incident seemed to be the most important thing that happened this week, judging from the wall-to-wall coverage on TV and radio.

In case you somehow missed it (lucky you!)  here's the recap:

Lochte, fresh from getting suspended from the U.S. Swim Team for lying about being mugged at a Rio gas station during the Olympics, is on Dancing With the Stars, which had its season debut Monday.

Two men, Sam Sotoodeh, 59, and Barzeen Soroudi, 25, stormed the stage as Lochte finished his dance performance. According to TMZ, the two, having been bailed out of jail after the incident and still wearing their "No Lochte" shirts said they did it because Lochte embarrassed Americans with his Rio antics.

Really? Of all the crises affecting, or might affect America, Lochte is the biggest? Lochte is just a frat boy type doofus who needs to grow up. I seriously don't think he will end up being the downfall of the Republic.

No, this was a publicity stunt by these so-called anti-Lochte protesters, and I guess I'm complicit in their desire for their 15 minutes. . Sotoodeh and Soroudi clearly just wanted to get their names and faces on TV, and they got it.

They mighty also have been lookin for an opportunity to make money on a lawsuit. They had to know DWTS security would tackle them when they rushed the stage and those security guards obliged. (I would have, too.)

Lochte lost sponsorships and a position on the U.S. Swim Team for awhile. He deserved the punishment. However, let's now see if he finally grows up and stops being a man-child.

It's probably time for Sotoodeh and Soroudi to finally grow up, too.

For what it's worth,  here's a video of the incident from "Entertainment Tonight."

Pharma Bro Shkreli and Shadenfreude: A Match Made In Heaven (Or Hell)

Martin Shkreli under arrest today, inspiring a huge wave
 of schadenfreude. But will he get the last laugh? 

I bet it's fair to say that one of the most searched words on Google today is "Schadenfreude."

"Schadenfreude" refers to the pleasure derived from another person's misfortune, and so many people, including yours truly, have been experiencing intense schadenfreude over the arreset of Martin Shkreli.

Martin Shkreli, the "Pharma Bro" train wreck I've been obsessing about because he raised the price of life saving drugs to sky high levels to make oodles of money, was arrested on fraud charges, according to numerous media reports this morning.

He's the guy who raised the price of a medication for people with HIV and other life threatening illnesses from $13.50 to $750.00. His logic is its his job to make lots of money, and if sick and broke people suffer because of it, too bad.

He's been busy getting reading to inflate prices of other life saving drugs, too.

According to MSN:

"Prosecutors charged him with illegally taking stock from Retrophin, Inc., a biotechnology firm he started in 2011, and using it to pay off debts from unrelated business dealings. He was later ousted from the company, where he'd been chief executive officer, and sued by the board.

In the case that closely tracks that suit, federal prosecutors accused Shkreli of engaging in a complicated shell game after his defunct hedge fund, MSMB Capital Management, lost millions. He is alleged to have made secret payoffs and set up sham consulting arrangements."

Everybody had a HUGE field day with this arrest, especially on social media, because Shkreli is such a vile creature.

Maybe this makes me a bad person, but the news about the criminal charges against Shkreli are making me a very happy man today. I'm in a good mood now. Like a lot of people.

When I Googled "schadenfreude Shkreli" this evening, I got no fewer than 6,250 matches.

Salon collected some of the best Tweets about Shkreli's arrest today, including, from @ohiotimmons3, "On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me a warrant for Martin Shkreli."

@John Fuglesang Tweeted: "Wait, Martin Shkreli in jail? Are the criminals OK?"

Probably not. As long as Shkreli is around, somebody's going to get hurt.

Over at Wired, they tell us that Dean Burnett, known as @garwboy on Twitter, noted, "Government warning: National schadenfreude reserves expected to run dry by the end of the week."

I have no doubt that's true.

Many people are apparently worried about a Wu-Tang Clan album Shkreli recently bought. It's the only one in existence, and he reportedly paid $2 million for it.

Yeah, I don't know why anybody would spend $2 million for the only copy of an album from anybody, but what do I know?

If Shkreli goes to jail, I guess he now has time to enjoy the Wu-Tang album he bought from all the money he's making off the backs of ill people.

This arrest will probably slow down Shkreli's quest to totally inflate the cost of life-saving drugs for other people, but at least it's a start.

Here's how lousy Shkreli is. He told a Forbes health care summit early this month that he screwed up. Did he mean he shouldn't have raised medication prices so much?

Nope. He said he should have raised them more.

Forbes quoted Shkreli thusly: "'My shareholder expect me to make the most profit," Shkreli said, a theme he returned to again and again. 'That's the ugly, dirty truth.'

'I'm going to maximize profits,' Shkreli addes later. 'That's what people (in healthcare) are afraid to say.'"

In other words, the only responsibility of a manufacturer of a life saving medication is to maximize profits. The patients who need it? Fuck 'em. let them die as long as I can make millions.

No wonder people as disparate as Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton hate him.

My dream? That Shkreli gets a long, long inside look living among the "Lights of Dannemora."

As in the really nasty Clinton Correctional Facility in New York.

My dream probably won't come true, though. As The Guardian points out, even when there's wild excesses like those of Shkreli, the big splash of publicity over the arrest will be for naught.

Most CEOs caught with their hands on the cookie jar are not convicted. Even when they are, they get what for them is a slap on the wrist. A fine of a few million dollars, which is really peanuts, and then they can go on ripping people off.

I'm sure several more medically needed people will die to satisfiy Shkreli's greed.

Then it will, unfortunately, become his turn to feel the schadenfreude when the rest of us can't afford the medicine to keep us alive. The medicine that the likes of Shkreli prices out of our reach.

Police Hate Guy Having Fun In Utah Town

Steve Unger, the dancing man of Utah, isn't going to
face criminal charges after all for having the audacity
to dance on public streets. 

There's a 68-year-old guy in Utah who likes to dance in the streets of the communities of Cottonwood Heights and Holladay, Utah.

It was fun for him, and fun for passersby who saw the man having his own little bit of fun. Smiles and fun can be contagious, after all.

But police put a stop to that, says television station KUTV.

Dancing man Steve Unger faced charges of disorderly conduct, failure to identify himself and interference with an arresting officer.  Being in a good mood, and eccentric and fun is bad, bad, BAD!!!

It started like this, says KUTV: 

"Nearly every day, the 68-year-old retiree dons selections from his brightly colored wardrobe, ties a bandana around his clean-shaven head, throws on the ear buds, plugs into his smart phone packed with tunes and heads outdoors.

He walks and dances up to 10 miles, a can't-miss figure, sometimes bouncing a rubber ball as he 'glides' along streets, avenues and lanes."

Most people seem to like Unger, smiling and waving as he does his thing. But one person apparently didn't, and called the cops.  The person who called said Unger was blocking traffic.

Cottonwood Heights' finest showed up and watched him for awhile, then went in for the arrest. The cops questioned Unger, who admits he initially declined to hand over his ID, since he thought he wasn't doing anything wrong.

But then then arrested him. Maybe the poor cops felt disrespected because Unger didn't ask how high when the cops said jump or something. After all, he didn't immediately hand over his ID and grovel and beg for forgiveness.

KUTV says Cottonwoood Height Police Chief Robbie Russon said his officers acted appropriately dealing with Unger and said there are two sides to the story of his charges.

But Russo for some reason didn't provide the cops' side of the story. Not sure why.

Unger had faced a November 18 jury trial after a judge last week declined to dismiss the charges.

However, in a recent update from FOX 13 in Salt Lake City, we learn the local prosecutor said he was dropping the charges.

After the charges were dropped, Russo backpedaled, saying that his cops never intended to harass Unger, but only wanted to assure his safety and that of passing motorists.

Yeah, sure. Like dancing is dangerous and passing motorists couldn't seem him. "In this case, both Mr. Unger and the CHPD could have done a better job of communicating at the time of the incident," Russo said.

Yeah, nothing like bad publicity to prompt the police chief to issue a lame PR type statement that really says nothing. But oh well, let's not dwell. Unger is free to keep dancing.

Maybe the the fine members of the Cottonwood Heights, Utah police department should take dance lessons, too. Couldn't hurt!

Muslim "Clock Kid" Gets Encouragement From Everybody Except His School

Ahmed Mohamed, 14, being arrested at his school
for bringing a homemade clock into the building.
Because anything a Muslim builds is a bomb,
if you want to believe the morons running the school.  

UPDATE:

Well, the school doesn't like him, and his town's police department isn't thrilled with him, either, but Ahmed Mohamed seems to be rocking the rest of the world.

Police dropped the idea of charging Mohamed with bringing a "hoax bomb" to school, when it was onl a clock he made that he wanted to show off.

I guess Irving, Texas police and the community's school district are not afraid of bullying a 14 year old kid because he's Muslim and likes to tinker, but are deathly afraid of bad pubicity, which they got big time.

President Obama doesn't seem too afraid of Mohamed and his clock, inviting him to the White House to show it off. Hilary Clinton Tweeted her support.

Huffington Post reported that Rep. Keith Ellison, D-Minn carried a clock around Capitol Hill Wednesday in support of Mohamed. Ellison is the first Muslim member of Congress.

And, while Mohamed was being interviewed by MSNBC's Hayes, another guest appeared on the show. It was MIT astrophysicist Chanda Prescod-Weinstein, who told Mohamed that he was exactly the "kind of student we want at places like MIT and Harvard."

By the way, the more news that comes out about how the school and police treated this kid, the worse it gets. The Daily Beast said Mohamed was denied access to his parents while being questioned, which violates Texas law.

School officials, including the principal, tried to coerce Mohamed into signing a statement that would easily have led to terrorism charges had he complied. He ended up writing. "I built a clock. The police think it's a bomb." Smart kid for writing his statement exactly that way.

So, the Irving School District really isn't into encouraging kids to succeed, especially if they're not white, most of the rest of the world is ahead of the game and does encourage bright young kids like Mohamed, who we are sure to need desperately in the future.

PREVIOUS DISCUSSION

A 14 year old kid in Irving, Texas likes to tinker and build things, and was proud of one little invention. It was a digital clock he made by himself.

For his ambition and effort, the kid was arrested. The leading theory as to why he was arrested is his name: Ahmed Mohamed.

Because as you know, anytime a kid with an Arabic name brings anything to school, especially if it's unusual, it' a bomb.  Because all Arabs and Muslims want to launch terrorist attacks on this great nation, don't you know.

Mohamed said he showed a couple teachers his clock, and later in the day was brought into the principal's office.

There, he said, police officers interrogated him, and said he could not call his father until they finished questioning him.

Says the Dallas Morning News:

"So the 14-year-old missed the student council meeting and took a trip in handcuffs to juvenile detention. His clock now sits in an evidence room. Police say they may yet charge him with making a hoax bomb - though they acknowledge he told everyone who would listen that it's a clock."

That's the incredible part right there: He told everyone his device is a clock. Anyone who looks at it can see it's a clock. But they still might charge him with making a "hoax bomb"

And he's been suspended from school for three days. All because he was proud of learning something. What a way to encourage a kid, huh?

Sorry, but if this were a white kid, this would have completely gone away by now.

Yes, I get it. Schools, and everyone else need to be careful. It wouldnt' have been a problem at all if somebody at the school asked to see Mohamed's clock to make sure it wasn't anything weird. Even get a cop to look at it.

The clock isn't elaborate to begin with. Mohamed threw it together in 20 minutes. It's a circuit board wired to a digital display, all inside a case with a tiger hologram in the front, Dallas Morning News reports. 

But the fact this is dragging on, and it seems the school and police aren't acknowledging they made a mistake, means something more is going than just caution.

The Dallas Morning News says there's more than a whiff of anti-Islamic sentiment in Irving, Texas anyway. Irving Mayor Beth Van Duyne fueled rumors in speeches that Muslims are plotting to usurp American laws,

This whole thing has become a cause celebre now.

Mohamed has got a fast rising number of suppoers. The hashtag #StandWithAhmed was a top trending topic on Twitter this morning.

Rallies are planned at the school.

Still, this is yet another example of an American school system that, instead of encouraging a smart kid to do great things, makes sure instead that he is reluctant to achieve.

And you wonder why America is falling behind in achievement and scientific advancement?

You'll Never Guess What Police Found In A Container Marked "Not Weed"

This container is labeled, "Not Weed" but.... 

Police arrested a 21 year old kid in Nebraska for DUI and found an interesting container in the car he was in.

It used to contain Land O Lakes sour cream, but that's not what was in it when police discovered the 16-ounce plastic tub.

Somebody, presumably the guy driving the car, used a black marking pen to label the container "Not Weed," according to The Smoking Gun. 

You'll never guess what police found in the Land O Lakes tub.

Oh, you're so smart! It was weed! You, and local police are so clever at unraveling this type of ruse.

Jordan Meier, 21, was busted for DUI.

To be fair, Meier probably doubted police would figure out what was in the container if they found it. Asked why the container was labeled the way it was, Meier told police, "I don't know... I thought I was being funny. Inside joke with myself, I suppose....never thinking it would be confiscated," according to The Smoking Gun.

Difficult Decision: Who Is Moron Of The Week: Florida Shooter Or Conrad Hilton III

This really dumb bro in Florida wanted to set up
a shooting range in his yard in the middle of a densely
populated suburb. What could go wrong? Add caption

Joseph Carannante, 21, who lives near St. Petersburg, Florida, likes to target practice with his gun.

Nothing wrong with that. Lots of people do.

Problem is, he wants to do it in a densely populated neighborhood where a lot of kids live. And because of lax NRA-inspired laws, he can.

WFLA-TV says people in the Lakewood Estates neighborhood are outraged at Carannante, and I can't blame them one bit

Caranannte's front yard shooting range is little more than a pile of sand. Like that's going to stop a bullet.

This isn't some remote place with no houses. It's a densely populated suburban neighborhood. Houses and yards are all right next to each other, and Carannante is right in the middle of it.

Talk about carrying Second Amendment rights too far! Yep, Carannante has the right to have a gun and shoot it. But he thinks that his Second Amendment rights trump his neighbors' right to enjoy their own property without fear of getting killed.

Oh, Carannante is so generous! He's offered to let his neighbors know when he's going to shoot, so they can all hide and stay out of the line of fire. So on weekends, when the kids want to play outside, Mom and Dad want to fire up the barbecue, and the new people down the block want to gather on the deck for some afternoon cocktails, they can't.

Because Carannante all but said he expects everybody to hide away while he fires his gun.  Apparently, it's too much work to drive all the way to a shooting range, poor baby.

Like Florida doesn't have a zillion shooting ranges.

"I don't want to have to go to a gun range, when I can just go outside my door," Carannante whined to WFLA.

Hey, it's only a 9 mm gun he's got. What could go wrong?

At the urging of the NRA, Florida has a law barring municipalities from barring gun ranges in people's yards.

Says TampaBay.com:

"Legislators passed a law in 1987 that declared state statutes superseded the laws of local municipalities when it comes to gun regulations.

Upset that some cities were still toying with local ordinanes, the Legislature passsed another law in 2011 that authorized hefty penalties for violations. Local officials could be removed from office and face personal fines of up to $5,000 for passing gun regulations."

But even the local NRA head thinks Carannante is a bonehead, and disputes the idea the law allos Carannante's stupidity. Says BayNews9 in Florida: 

"An NRA lobbyist in Florida also made a statement about the issue Monday. 'Shooting ranges don't belong in dense residential neighborhoods and, in fact, nothing in the law allows them,'" said Marion Hammer.

 There was some possible good late breaking news this morning on this situation.

Via the Daily Kos, a neighbor reports that a local radio station and a Florida shooting range helped out. Said the neighbor:

"This morning, a popular radioshow at 102.5 "The Bone" called young Mr. Carannante and offered a one year free membership to a gun range, donated by Shooter's World in Tampa.....They convinced the kid to commit to tearing down the pile of pallets and sand."

That's good, but it appears the neighborhood, the radio station and the shooting range all had to offer rewards for stupid Carannante to give up his plan. That's why this world can be sad. They only way we can protect ourselves from awful people is to reward them.

Something ain't right.

Speaking of "Ain't Right," we now offer, from the Washington Post, a simultaneously sad, infuriating and funny account of an airline flight on July 31 on which hotel heir Conrad Hilton III was aboard.  

Pretty faced rich boy bro Conrad Hilton III
caused a HUGE ruckus on a overseas flight
last summer. Makes him sound like
the Worlds Most Obnoxious Person.  

As the Post describes him: "Meet Conrad Hilton III,  younger brother to Paris and some kind of royalty in his own mind, it appears."

Anyway, Conrad Hilton III was Not Pleased with his flight experience aboard the British Airways Flight 269 from London to Los Angeles.

Of course, the FBI and other law enforcement are Not Pleased with Conrad's behavior, and he was in court this week facing federal charges of being an asshole on a plane. A really big dick, actually.

The Washington Post quoted from a conversation Conrad had with the FBI, which is contained in a 17-page indictment against Conrad filed this week in U.S. District Court.

"'I told all of them I could get all of their jobs taken away in less than thirty seconds,' Hilton said, according to the complaint, as he recalled interactions with flight attendants.

He credited a man at the back of the plane with stopping him from killing a flight attendant 'If that man wasn't there, that guy (the flight attendant) would have been #%*&# killed on that flight. A hundred percent I would have killed him.'"

On the bright side, Conrad's narrative to the FBI matches that of flight attendants and passengers on the flight, who also had conversations about the experience with the FBI. No need to sort any "he said, she said," is there.

See? Conrad is so helpful.

It all started roughly a half hour into the 10-hour flight, when attendants started the task of serving drinks to passengers, but Conrad kept standing the aisle, blocking the way and refusing to move.

From the Washington Post: 

"One flight attendent described Hilton as flying from 'one tirade after another' throughout the flight. He complained that the flight attendants were ignoring him or 'taking the peasants' side.' 

He whined about being upset because he broke up with his girlfriend, one flight attendant said. He bragged that his dad would bail him out of the situation as he had in the past. After all, he's already banned from several other airlines, he told the flight attendants."

'My father will pay this out, he has done it before. Dad paid $300,000 last time,' Hilton allegedly said."

Gawd, I don't care how rich Conrad's dad is, this dude is too expensive. If I were dear old dad, I'd jettison the kid and make him get a job at McDonald's or Walmart. That would teach him.

It went on, says the Washington Post:

"Food and drink service were delayed for more than 40 minutes as flight attendants struggled to deal with Hilton walking up and down the aisles in a rage. Just about every sentence featured the f-word. And Hilton seemed particularly keen on directing his rage against male members of the flight crew.

One flight attendant reported to investigators that Hilton at one point swund at him but missed his face by 'about ten centimeters.' His fist hit the bulkhead instead.

'If you wanna square up to me, bro then bring it on and I will %&*$# fight you,' Hilton allegedly told the flight's co-pilot in another incident."

If I were the co-pilot, I would have let Conrad try to fight. I'm sure everyone who paid good money to be on the flight would have been more than willing to jump in and help.

I think Conrad's pretty boy face could use a good messing up anyway. It would give him character. Lord knows he needs it.

Conrad complained that a male passenger was giving him the "stink eye" which Conrad took to mean either the guy wanted to fight him or have sex with him.

I really, REALLY think the guy wanted to fight you, Conrad. And maybe flush your head down the toilet.

You were already spending too much time in the bathroom anyway, smoking a joint, says the flight crew and FBI. The pot didn't mellow you out much, did it?

Conrad, exhausted from his duties of being an enormous prick, finally fell asleep the crew tied him up with restraints. Conrad later woke up, discovered the restraints and screamed, "I'm goin to $*&@ kill you!"

Yeah, whatever.

If convicted, Conrad faces up to 20 years in prison. But don't worry, he won't spend so much as a minute behind bars. I'm sure daddy will bail him out of this mess, again.

But if I ever find myself on a flight with one Conrad Hilton, III, I won't put up with his bull.

I'm one of those "peasants" who would find something fun and humiliating for him. It would be a blast!

Or better yet, maybe our Florida gun nut can use Conrad Hilton III for target practice instead of the pallets and pile of sand in his yard that he wanted to use.

Florida Man Who Was Bummed About Moving In With Parents Now Won't Have To: Going To Jai

Good news! This guy won't have
to move in with his parents after all
because now he is going to jail.  

Frederick Wenzel IV, 28, of Deltona, Florida was really bummed out because financial circumstances meant he had to move back in with his parents.

No self-respecting man really wants to do that, unless it's to help ailing parents.

Wenzel was frustrated by the situation, says the Daytona Beach News Journal, so he had to let off some steam.

He chose to do that by getting drunk and firing rounds from his AK-47 into the air in his neighborhood at around 5:30 in the morning.

Well, at least he didn't hurt anybody.

And all this shooting led to some good news, of sorts, for Wenzel.

He no longer will be living with his parents, since Wenzel is now charged with six counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. That means he will be living in jail, not with his parents.

I wonder which he thinks is worse?

At last report he was at the Volusia County, Florida Branch Jail without bail. So he might be there awhile.

Let us know how the accommodations are, will ya, Frederick?

Wanted Man Rear Ends Detective's Car, Making Arrest Painful But Easy

In image from KREM-TV, cops arrest a guy
who made looking for him easy, but painful 

If you have arrest warrants out on you, it's probably best just to turn yourself in and let justice run its course.  

But if you insist on staying on the lam, it's best to be careful driving.

KREM in Spokane, Washington said a guy wanted for driving and domestic violence offenses slammed into the back of an unmarked car being driven by a police detective.

The slightly injured detective, though limping, processed the scene and made the arrest. Then he was taken to a hospital for treatment of minor injuries.

And maybe when and if our bad driver gets out of jail, he'll take driving lessons so this won't happen again.

(Hat tip to Talking Points Memo)

Awesome Four Year Old Busts Babysitter's Burglary Plot

This little girl foiled her baby sitter's burglary plot.  

Hats off to Abby Dean, 4, of Ferndale, Washington State, who royally screwed up an elaborate burglary plot by her babysitter.    

The babysitter set up this elaborate scheme that staged a home invasion in which a bunch of stuff, including Abby's "kitty" bank, iPod, Wii and X-Box, were stolen.

The babysitter said one of the suspects looked like the next door neighbor. That neighbor, Cody Oakes, who is black, was detained by police for about five hours.

But Abby would have none of it. "Wrong skin color," she said of the next door neighbor suspects. The burglars were white. The whole robbery scheme fell apart.

Abby was NOT happy about the set up. "Wednesday was the worst day in my life," she told a local television station.

"They told us to get out of the house 'cause they wanted to steal stuff," Abby said.

She's also displeased by the babysitter, and I can't blame her.

Said Abby: "That was really her being bad. She's not a good babysitter."

I guess Abby isn't going to give the babysitter a good review on Angie's List, is she? Abby certainly does seem to be a good judge of good vs. bad babysitters, so she's pretty smart there.

In the end, the cops arrested the babysitter and her friends, and the family got their stuff back, including Abby's kitty bank, Wii, X-box and other items.

"They got it back because of me being the superhero," Abby said.

OK, Abby's not shy, but she's certainly accurate.

Here's the news video of Abby explaining what happened.

"Thunder From Down Under" Male Strippers Rumble With Thief, Strip Him Of Dignity

OK boys and girls, here's today's latest lesson on who not to commit a crime against:

These guys made mincemeat out
of a guy who broke into their backstage
dressing room in Las Vegas and tried
to steal their costumes.

That lesson: Don't try to rob from a troupe of male strippers.

According to the Huffington Post and Associated Press, a man tried to steal a suitcase full of custumes and props belonging to the all-male revue Thunder From Down Under.

The guys in the revue were in  --where else? --- Las Vegas for a live, very live, performance. Meanwhile, the suspect went into the dressing rooms to steal the stuff.

He was later identified as Joey Kadmiri, 24, and officials said they --surprise!--- suspect Kadmiri was under the influence of meth, says the Los Vegas Journal-Review

The dancers, saw the thief and decided to give sort of an impromptu MMF fight sort of performance.

The thief actually tried to shoot one of the cast members with a .44 caliber Magnum, but one of the dancers got the gun away from the guy.  Then the members of Thunder From Down Under beat the crap out of Kadmiri.

Think about it:  Whatever you think of members of male dance revues like Thunder From Down Under, they have to be pretty athletic and strong. Those muscles they spend hours developing at the gym are actually good for something other than to drool over.


And all that dancing must make their endurance pretty good, too.

A not so good looking Joey Kadmiri after
police said Thunder From Down Under attacked
him for stealing their props and such.  

So, getting attacked by Thunder From Down Under can't be pleasant.  Our thief had to be treated for injuries before being hauled off to jail.

From the Huffington Post/Associated Press:

"A jailhouse booking photo shows a black eye and facial bruises from the backstage scuffle. "The suspect definitely got the worst of it," Las Vegas Police Officer Laura Meltzer said.

The suspect is charged with felony attempted murder, armed robbery and burglary with a weaon, police said. If convicted, he could be in jail for decades.

And our suspect is now even less pretty than our guys from Thunder From Down Under.

Dance on, boys!!

Such Creative Ways To Rob Stores! Chainsaws and Flower Pots

I can NEVER get over the creativity of those people who like to rob stores for fun and profits. (Or maybe cigarettes, beer and lottery tickets)

Our flower pot wearing buddy trying
to rob an Australian convenience store
with a chainsaw. n

A perfect example of this takes to Australia recently, when a young guy wearing a flower pot on his head maybe inspired by the band Devo, tried to rob a store while holding onto a running chainsaw.

Alas, as is often the case in these robberies, our suspect, Steven Frank Steele, didn't get away with much, and was arrested to boot, according to Australian authorities, according to the Queensland Times.

He did manage to get away with a bottle of soda, was able to moon the terrified store clerks, and damage a window and some display shelves, so there is that.

Police said the chainsaw was stolen, too. Oh well.

And that flower pot looked pretty cheap, don't you think? Dude, you want to go for quality. Don't the garden centers in Australia have anything nice in ceramic or terra cota?

Last we checked, Steele was being held until his next court appearance. And he apparently no longer has a chain saw with him.