A New Take On Old "El Paso." With Politics And Comedy!

Marty Robbins had a huge hit in 1959 with the song "El Paso."

You know the tune ...."Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl...."

As we know, Donald Trump visited El Paso this week to tout his silly border wall, falsely claiming that El Paso was a violent mess before they put up fence along the Mexican border there.

Which gave Stephen Colbert the chance to update the song a little bit. Colbert's version starts, "Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I saw a speech by a man Putin adores."

Yeah, it goes on from there. Have a listen and a look:

"Megakota?" Latest Weird Move To Alter United States Map

A dumb Change.org petition is advocating that North and South
Dakota be merged into one state, called MegaKota. 

People are always coming up with daft ideas to alter the map of the United States.

The latest: Merge North Dakota and South Dakota into one big state, called "MegaKota."

Obviously, this idea will go nowhere, but that's not going to stop people from trying.

A Change.org petition was recently posted by Dillan Stewart of Fargo, North Dakota. This doesn't sound like a fully formed proposal, if you ask me. Stewart wrote: "I think itd (sic) be pretty cool to have a state called MegaKota so yeah.  oh (sic) yeah and then maybe Puerto Rico can be a state and we won't have to change our flag."

Uh, right.

As of late morning Thursday, the petition had nearly 7,000 signatures and it was increasing rapidly,   , so some people like this idea.  A few people think there's zero difference between North and South Dakota, so you might as well merge them. Still, people from both states would beg to differ on that assessment.

If MekaKota came into being, it would be the fourth largest state by land area, the 37th largest economy  and the sixth biggenst farm economy according to journalist David H. Montgomery.

My husband Jeff, originally from South Dakota, points out that "Megakota" is an insult to Native Americans in the region. After all "Dakota" refers to one of several tribes among the Sioux,  others being Lakota and Nakota.

"MegaKota"  to me sounds like a real slap in the face to these tribes.

There's been all kinds of weird merger or secession proposals around. One ballot proposal that might be in the works would make California secede from the union, a Calexit of sort.  Of course, nobody thinks that will get anywhere, either.

It looks like Russia was trying to encourage this, too. Which is something you'd kind of expect from Putin and his ilk.

Another harebrained scheme would split California into three parts - the northern third, coastal southern California and inland southern California. Why, I don't know.

There's also been a weak movement to have Texas secede from the union. That won't go anywhere either. The "logic" behind the Texas movement is the federal government is taking away too many rights for liberty loving Texans, or something like that.

And, wouldn't you know! Russia was trying to encourage Texas secession, too. 

No word yet on whether the Russians will sign on to "MegaKota. Probably not, because the Dakotas are not trying to split off from the Union.

Texas Judge Is Latest Evangelical To Go Off The Rails

This weird Texas judge tried to overrule a jury by attempting
to get them to declare a defendent innocent because God
supposedly told this judge she was innocent. Riiiiight. 

I'm confused by some very conservative, so called Christian evangelicals who seem to think Donald Trump is some sort of hero.

It's a little hypocritical for them to embrace a guy who among so many other things, seems to have cheated on his wife with a porn star.

But, the more corrupt evangelicals (not most of them, but the ones in power, it seems) love Trump because it looks like he'll let them do anything they want. Or so they think.

The latest person who thinks he can get away with a lot is a Texas judge who recently try to get a jury to find woman accused of trafficking a teen girl for sex innocent. The reason? God told him to intervene, said the judge.

Judge Jack Robison told the jury, "When god tells me I gotta do something, I gotta do it,"

Or not. The jury ignored the judge, thank goodness and went with the evidence instead. The panel convicted Gloria Romero-Perez and she was later sentenced to 25 years in prison. The judge was also forced to recuse himself from the trial's penalty phase.

The jury foreman, Mark House said he and others on the jury either filed or intend to file a complaint with the Texas Judicial Conduct Commission.

Mark A. House, jury foreman in the weeklong trial of Gloria Romero Perez that concluded Jan. 12 has already filed a complaint. His filing states:   "Judge Robison came into the jury room during deliberations two times and informed the jurors that he did not believe the defedent was guilty or should spend 25 years in prison."

Talk about trying to tamper with a jury!

Let me put it as bluntly as possible. When somebody informs you that God told you to do something, that person knows deep inside they shouldn't do it. They try to throw you with the "authority" of God.

The only people who buy that argument are the people saying God made them do it. Right, Roy Moore?

Let's hope sane minds prevail in Texas and they get rid of Judge Robeson once and for all.

Anti-Abortion Lawmakers Are Just Getting Weirder And Weirder

This idiot, Oklahoma State Senator A.J. Griffin, wanted to
pass a law requiring restaurants and public schools to
post anti-abortion propaganda at their expense. 

Some social conservatives are anxious to take away a woman's right to abortion.

Despite U.S. Supreme Court rulings, Republican legislatures enacted at least 60 new abortion restriction laws, says the Center for Reproductive Rights.

So far ten of those laws were ruled unconstitional by courts, but the efforts continue.  

With Roe Vs. Wade still the law of the land, at least for now, I have to admire the, um, creativity of some lawmakers to restrict abortions.  It's getting very, very weird.

In Texas, a proposal has been held up in the courts, at least for now. to require cremation or burial ceremonies for miscarried or aborted fetuses.

Nobody actually wants this law passed except the anti-abortion zealots in the Texas legislature. Even the funeral home and cremation industry, which would stand to gain from this, is icked out by it and is unenthusiastic about the idea.

Of course, some people who have had miscarriages want a cremation or interment, and that's their right.

However, creating this law might actually prevent people who want these ceremonies from actually having them.

Acccording to the Texas Tribune:

"For those in the funeral business, the increased demand for cremations could mean ending their practice of charitably cremating the tissue  from a miscarriage for parents who wished to have a funeral. 

'What had always been pretty much a charitable process is now going to become costing quite a bit of more,' (Texas Funeral Directors Association spokesma Michael) Land said. It's estimated that 10 to 20 percet of pregnacies end in miscarriage."

In other words, Texas lawmakers are so intent on making abortions so excruciating and difficult for women that they think it's worth it to make tragedies like miscarriages excruciating and difficult for parents, too.

Proves that the pro-life crowd is pro-life only until the baby is born. Then it's time to start making life hard.

It's even worse in Oklahoma. (Isn't that often the case?)

According to the Associated Press:

"Oklahoma plans to force hospitals, nursing homes, restaurants and public schools to post signs inside public restrooms directing pregnant women where to receive services as part of an effort to reduce abortions in the state.

Te State Board of Health will consider regulations for the signs on Tuesday. Businesses and other organizations will have to pay an estimated $2.3 million to put up the signs because the Legislature didn't approve any money for them."

The Tuesday referenced in the AP story was last week. We've since learned the Board of Health has approved this ridiculousness. 

 They were probably pissed off because on the same day, the Oklahoma Supreme Court blocked a regulation that would  have required doctors who had admitting privileges at nearby hospitals.

However, we have learned since that the Oklahoma State Senator who introduced the legislation, A. J. Griffin, has since recinded the idea.

Before she did that,  we has the legislature in Oklahoma,  making restaurants and such pay for anti-abortion propaganda that they don't want in their businesses.

I don't think this would have passed  the First Amendment test - the government telling people and businesses what to say or else - but hey, Constitution Smonstitutiion, if it enables you to pander to your most conservative base, right quote, unquote Oklahoma lawmakers?

It appears Griffin backtracked because of the backlash against the cost imposed on businesses by the bill. She now wants to make the anti-abortion propaganda a social media thing, and she theorized it would have a greater reach that way.

But would you want to read anything Griffin or her minions put out on social media?

Now, The Anti-Santa; The Bible Wackjob At The Mall

So called Pastor David Grisham, straight from Mount
Crumpit, yells at kids at a Texas mall that Santa doesn't exist
Parent intervened and shut the idiot up.  

Earlier, I wrote about a real life Santa Claus,  who lovingly guided a dying child on his way to the Promised Land in the ultimate display of class and compassion.

As noted in that post, there's always the opposite, the people who, rather than trying to warm hearts, try to turn them stone cold, to match their own.

I don't like to dwell on people like this, but it's always important to feature them. Exposing and mocking them is a good antiseptic, and these rubes need it.

So let me introduce you to one "Pastor" (and I use that term loosely)  David Grisham, who inexplicably decided it would be fun to travel down to Alaska and annoy and dismay children waiting in line to meet Santa at a Texas shopping mall.

As you'll see in the video at the bottom of this Grisham that filmed of his exploits, parents weren't exactly thrilled by this moron, either.

In the video, we hear this idiot bellowing to the confused and frightened children and their eye-rolling parents, "I want to tell you today there is no such thing as Santa Claus! Santa Clause does not exist! The Christmas season is about Jesus. Jesus was born 2,016 years ago. He was born in a small town  called Bethlehem. That is the truth about Christmas."

Well, I think the fine Texas families in line to see Santa already get it that Jesus was born in Bethlehem and that's why so many Christians celebrate Christmas. I'm willing to bet Santa's reindeer that most of the families there are good Christians anyway. This is Texas, after all.

Grisham then went on to yell unsolicited parenting advice, telling them they were wrong to lie to their children and tell them Santa doesn't exist.

You don't mess with Texas. Especially Texas dads who are trying to treat their kids to a nice Christmas excursion.

You see some dads demanding, rather intimidatingly, that Grisham scram.  You hear one of the delightfully menacing dads mention that he doesn't appreciate being told what to say to his kids, particularly when it's coming from an especially strange stranger.

I noticed some of the older kids in the background in the video looked pretty tough too, which is a nice touch.

The dads seem to restrain themselves enough to ward off the temptation to punch Grisham in the face. I'm not sure I'd be that self-controlled.

I'm sure Grisham skulked away eventually, back to the frigid hole he came from in Alaska.

It's just so much fun to see idiots like Grisham make a fool of himself, and pretend he doesn't the universal condemnation and mocking around him.

So, I present you with Grisham's video. Feel free to mock him any way you like, because 'tis the season.

I'd Vote For This Republican Based On His Great Campaign Ad

Charlyn Daugherty INTENSELY hopes her husband
Gerald is re-elected to the Travis County, Texas County Commission

I almost wish I lived in Travis County, Texas.

That's because Republican Gerald Daugherty is seeking re-election to the Travis County Commission.

The reason I'm gushing is because he might just win the competition for best campaign ad of 2016.

In the ad, we get why Daugherty's long-suffering wife really, REALLY hopes her husband gets re-elected.

Watch and enjoy:

Florida Walmart, Texas Mattress Store "Celebrate" 9/11 With, Um, Interesting Gimmicks

This probably wasn't the best way to homor 9/11 

I suppose their heart was in the right place.

As we approach the 15th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, some people at a Panama City Beach, Florida Walmart, and the local soda distributor, came up with a striking way to "honor" the memory of 9/11.

So they constructed in the store the two World Trade Center towers built out of Coke Zero packages, notes the Associated Press.

The backdrop of the American flag was made with red regular Coke, silver Diet Coke and blue Sprite. A banner above the display that read "We will never forget" with the Coke and Walmart logos completed the look.

Why does this kind of weird, tacky thing always seem to happen in Florida?

Of course right away there was (surprise!) a backlash. A lot of people were appalled.

Others mocked it:

"We will never forget.....These great rollback prices y'all!" was one Twitter reaction.

Amid the hubbub the Coca-Cola company apologized and said the display was meant to honor local firefighters and support that organization's upcoming event.

The store and the distributor said they never intended any disrespect, which I believe, but what the hell were they thinking?

Well, they were probably thinking more than the folks at a Texas mattress store. They decided to hold a mattress sale, and did quite a little TV ad that you can see in the video at the bottom of this post.

As the Dallas Morning News tells us:

"Store manager Cherise Bonanno says that there's no better way to remember the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks than the sale, which offers any size mattress for the price of a twin mattress. Two employees stand in front of a pair of towers of mattresses and an American flag.

At the end of the video, which has since been removed from the store's Facebook page, Bonanno swings her arms and the employees tumble into the mattress towers, knocking them over. 

Banana shrieks, then turns to the camera and says, "We'll never forget."

Well, it's hard to forget the mattress ad you're about to see. Do you think it's a bit much?

Texas Wants To Execute A Guy Who Didn't Kill Anybody

Texas wants to execute this guy, even though
everyone agrees he never murdered anyone.  

UPDATE:

A Texas appeals court has halted the execution of Lee Wood.

According to Reuters:

"It its decision, the appeals court asked a lower court to review his sentence and claims from Wood's lawyer that it was obtained in violation of due process because it was based on false testimony and false scientifice evidence."

That's a reference to the psychiatrist I reference in the previous discussion, below.

The psych doc never directly examined Wood, and had a reputation as "Dr Death" for always seeming to argue for the death penalty when called by prosecutors to testify.

The doc was kicked out of the American Psychiatric Association for the ethical violation of making diagnoses of capital murder defendents without examining them first, says Reuters.  

I'm sure some people in Texas are mad because they can't just kill anyone they want because they liked false testimony, but kudos to the appeals court for this moment of sanity.

PREVIOUS DISCUSSION:

I guess there's still a tough on crime crowd out there, judging from the way Texas is handling things these days.

They're about to execute a guy. They do that all the time in Texas. Normally, you have to commit murder to enjoy the death accommodations of the Lone Star State.

Now, though, they're offing a guy who didn't kill anyone. He was just near another guy who did.

According to the Washington Post, Jeffrey Lee Wood is to be executed on August 24 because he was sitting in a pickup truck back in 1996 while his buddy, Daniel Reneau went inside a Texaco convenience store and shot a 22 year old clerk to death.

Wood was the getaway driver, but it's unclear if he even knew Reneau had a gun with him, much less whether he was going to kill somebody.

Yeah, Wood was culpable. He was in on the idea to rob the store. So he definitely deserved to get locked up. But doesn't the death penalty seem a teensy bit harsh here, given the fact he wasn't the triggerman.

And given the fact that Wood has a low IQ,  And given the fact a psychiatrist hired by the prosecution said he would be violent again -- but it turned out the psych doc didn't examine Wood, and was always hired by prosecutors to say how awful defendents were, and the American Psychiatric Association kicked the doc out a couple years later for professional incompetence, says the Washington Post. 

Naturally, Texas prosecutors aren't saying anything, citing pending litigation in the case. That's always the excuse when some officials doesn't want to answer for something scummy they did because that would just add unwanted publicity to the case.

Some Texas lawmakers have tried to change the law that allows for accomplices who don't actually do the murdering to get executed anyway. But you know those law and order types.

Makes me afraid to go to Texas. They take guilt by association seriously down there, don't they? If I just look the other way when a jaywalker does his deed, to I get locked up for not reporting it?

I exaggerate. But when they say don't mess with Texas, they mean it in weird, immoral ways sometimes.

City Council Wants To Evict A Library Cat, And The Fur Is Flying Over This

Browser the cat at the White Settlement, Texas public
library. That community's city council wants him
out of the library, and the town's residents
are rebelling at that idea.  

UPDATE:

Browser the cat can stay in the White Settlement, Texas library after all.

As the Dallas Morning News put it in their headline:

"White Settlement Council turns tail, lets Browser the Library cat stay after backlash."

After the council initially voted to oust the cat last month, a social media firestorm erupted.

The White Settlement Council caved in the face of the onslaught, and Browser will keep sleeping in the library, catching the occasional mouse and entertaining the children who come in

I guess sense and peace finally came back to White Settlement

PREVIOUS DISCUSSION:

The city council in White Settlement, Texas voted recently to evict Browser, the cat that's been living at the municipal library for almost six years.

There hadn't really been any complaints about the cat, and this vote to evict Browser came out of the blue, according to local media reports.

Browser was originally brought in to combat rodents that had been damaging books in the library.

Everybody ended up loving the affectionate cat, who helps children settle down and read their books.

But the city council suddenly had other ideas. Suddenly, Browser is a crisis and has to leave the library, apparently.

White Settlement City Council member sniffed, "City Hall and city businesses are no place for animals," as she voted to evict Browser, according to the Fort Worth Star Telegram. 

Of course, the entire community of White Settlement is up in arms as a petition circulates for a new vote on the matter coming up. Or a community vote to keep the cat.

But the White Settlement City Council is determined to get rid of Browser, the Star Telegram notes.

Council member Steve Ott said people might be allergic to cat dander, which is a point but you can keep Browser away from people with allergies.

Others point out that if Browser goes, the mice come in and pest control outfits will have to use chemicals to banish the rodents.

Still, Ott is unmoved. "That cat is just that - a cat. Not a person. So go ahead and sign all the petitions you want. The cat needs to go."

The community's mayor thinks this all got started because an employee at City Hall wanted to bring his puppy to work and they wouldn't let him, so he got revenge by getting the City Council to go after Browser.

By the way, Browser isn't costing White Settlement taxpayers anything. Library personal pay for Browser's feeding and care out of pocket.

Personally, I'm not a cat person. They're OK. But I can see how a cat could have a welcoming, calming influence at a library.

Maybe the White Settlement city councilors who don't like Browser should just chill. Or read a damn book or something.

Texas Story About Horses Comforting Dying Veteran Shows Healing Power of Animals

Gravely ill veteran Roberto Gonzalez is comforted
by one of his horses at a Texas VA hospital
Photo by Lupe Hernandez 

Like everyone else, I was moved by the story that went viral yesterday about the horses that were brought to a Texas Veterans Administration hospital to comfort a dying Vietnam veteran.

Roberto Gonzalez, now 71, was shot and left paralyzed during the war, but went on to become a successful horse trainer in Texas.

In recent months, Gonzalez' health failed and it became apparent he might die soon.

Gonzalez' wife, Rosario, said the horses were her husband's heart and soul, and he had to see them one last time.

So, the horses, Sugar and Ringo, were brought to the Audie L. Murphy Memorial VA Hospital in San Antonio.

One result of that visit was the touching viral photography you see in this post.

"Horses are his life....When the horse came up to him he actually opened his eyes," Rosario said of her husband's reaction to the visit. "They came up to him and I think they were actually kissing him."

It's interesting that often, in our time of need, or when we want comfort, we turn to our pets, and they turn to us. And each other.

I know when either me or my husband are not feeling well, our dogs get close to us, and keep a watch out for us. They also stay close to each other when one of them is not feeling well.

They know what's going on. And I really do think on some level they want to help. And they do.

The horses in Texas and the people that brought them there and the hospital that allowed this all treated a U.S. veteran with the respect and love he deserved.

I just hope that all veterans get the same kind of respect.

Spider-Man Shows Up At Funeral, Nobody Thinks It's Weird And Everyone's Touched

Fort Worth Police Officer Damon Cole showed up
at a five-year-old boy's funeral dressed as Spider Man,
and it was probably the classiest thing anyone
could have done in this siuation 

One of the tackiest things you could do is show up a a funeral dressed up as Spider Man.

Except at one recent funeral in Texas, in which somebody did just that - came dressed as Spider Man -- and everyone was touched and honored.

For good reason.  It turned out to have been the classiest thing anyone could have done.

On April 2, Fort Worth, Texas Police Officer Damon Cole was dispatched to search for a five year old boy who suddenly went missing.

Cole searched for the kid, Joshua Garcia in the murky water of a neighbor's neglected backyard pool. Sadly, he found the child's lifeless body at the bottom on the pool, dressed in Spider Man shoes and a Spider Man shirt.

Cole said he wishes he had super powers to save the kid's life, but he couldn't. Nobody could.

"It just broke my heart," Cole told Today. "I have an 8-year-old daughter and I just couldn't imagine something like this. I heard all these stories about how Joshua was just happy and full of life, and this just made it more personal."

Joshua's favorite thing was Spider Man and his family decided to give him a Spider Man funeral. Officer Cole showed up dressed as Spider Man, which I think is as touching a tribute as any for a child who died far, far too young.

Cole has a habit of doing the super hero thing for kids anyway, so the Spider Man thing wasn't entirely new. He is a membef of Heroes, Cops and Kids, a group of Dallas-area offices who dress up as superheroes to cheer up children at various events and venues.

They do this on their own time and their own dime, notes Today.  

Cole might not have had super powers to save the kid's life. But he certainly does have super powers enought to make a sad situation as much less bad as possible.

Television station WLTX, reporting on this said it best: "The actions of this officer prove that it's not the cape or the custome that make the hero, it's the heart. Even a broken one."

Here's a news video of Cole at Joshua's funeral:

Maybe The Craziest Republican Yet Just Got Elected In Texas

Insane guy Robert Morrow was just elected Travis County,
Texas Republican Party Chairman. And really, he
 takes the concept of crazy politician to a whole new level. 

We seem to be in a season of crazies getting elected to office, so we shoudn't be surprised that one Robert Morrow has been elected chairman of the local Republican Party in Travis County, Texas.

True, that's not the most important political position in the world, but the guy is so -- how should we put this politely? --- completely batshit crazy that you have to wonder what people were thinking, or not thinking, when they voted for him.

Morrow, like many people, is an avid Tweeter. If you don't like bluntness and extreme rudeness, you might not want to read on.

Anyway, according to Texas Tribune, he's really, REALLY fascinated by politicians' sexuality, or at least his theories on their sexuality. He's freaked out because he sees gays and lesbians everywhere. EEEK!!!  He thinks former Texas Gov. Rick Perry is bisexual and has a lot of male lovers. He thinks the same about Marco Rubio. 

Also George H. Bush. Morrow Tweeted this about the former president: "Pretty sure George W. Bush can suck a dick better than Hillary Clinton."

He thinks about Bill Clinton's penis. He thinks Hillary Clinton is an "angry bull dyke."  He doesn't like the Republican National Committee, because its perceived establishment orientation makes it similar to a "gay foam party."

No, I don't understand that, either.

He also thinks Rubio participates in these "gay foam parties." What's the deal with obsession with these stupid foam parties anyway?

When a Texas Tribune reporter asked Morrow about his frequent racial slurs using the "n" word, Morrow sharply took the reporter to task for being a "pathetic excuse for a reporter" for his unwillingness to use that word.

Morrow is apparently proud of his,  um, size, or his perception of it anyway. He once tweeted: "If you Google 'Robert Morrow 11 inch penis confirmed' you get over 11,800,000 hits. I'm just sayin'...."

He does like big things. His Facebook pages has numerous photos of bikini clad women with big boobs.

On the bright side, of sorts, he's not a big fan of Donald Trump. Morrow's reasoning for not liking Trump is a bit shaky, though:

"Donald Trump has actually said that a lone nut Oswald killed JFK, which tells me he is too stupid to be president."

Of course there are a LOT of people just as crazy or worse than Robert Morrow on social media and elsewhere, so normally we would ignore such nonsense.

But remember, Morrow has just been elected as chairman of the Travis County, Texas Republican Party.

He's the guy who's supposed to lead Travis County Republicans in trying to get members of the GOP elected to county positions, which could be a springboard to higher, more influential offices. Travis County has the fifth largest population of any county in Texas, so it does have Lone Star State influence.

Do you think Morrow is going to convince people in relatively liberal Travis County (where the city of Austin is located) to switch allegiances to the Republican Party?

Other members of the Travis County Republican Party are appalled and said they would do everything they can to get rid of Morrow. Which is a smart way of thinking about things.

Travis County Republican Vice Chairman Matt Mackowiak said: "We will explore every single option that exists, whether it be persuading him to resign, trying to force him to resign, constraining his power, removing his ability to spend money or resisting any attempt for him to access data or our social media account."

When the Texas Tribune asked Morrow to respond to Mackowiak's comments, he said, "Tell them they can go fuck themselves."

Nice way for a Republican leader to speak.

But you know what's scarier than Morrow? It's the fact that a majority of Travis County Republicans who participated in local elections this week actually voted for this insane character. And you wonder why the not as insane Donald Trump gets so much support.

I think I will have nightmares tonight.

Giant Hornets Nest Terrorizes Texas Family.

Marcus Smith, in Alto, Texas much braver than I am,
dares to put his hand near a hornets nest much bigger
than he is inside an abandoned trailer.  

Generally, I don't like to use toxic chemicals, even on bugs that bite and sting.

I make an exception, though, for hornets and wasps, which, in the summer, keep forming little nests on my deck and in my shed. They take control, so I regularly spray new nests with Raid.  

OK, so I'm not environmentally correct.  Don't get me wrong.

Hornets are actually good insects if they're far enough away from my house. Hornets and wasps eat insects that damage gardens, and they help with pollination.

If they're a good couple hundred feet away, I leave them alone. Only if they're far enough away.

Which leads us to a recent story out of Texas. It's a situation that would require a LOT of Raid. Maybe the entire Raid factory.

There's an old trailer in the back yard of an Alto, Texas house. Nobody has set food in the thing for years. In fact nobody has touched the thing, really, in 10 years or so.

But now, the homeowners and their friends want to give the property a bit of a makeover. Family friend Marcus Smith entered the abandoned trailer and what he found would have scared the bejeesus out of me.

He seemed pretty calm in his interview on television station KYTX, which is better than I could have done.

Inside the trailer in the back yard, he found a hornet's nest that seems almost as big as a Smart Car, in my assessment. Smith stands six feet, one inches tall, and the hornet's nest is up to his chest. It has completely consumed a couch that had been abandoned in the trailer as well.

Smith even voluntarily went back into the trailer with a KYTX reporter to show her his find.

Yikes!

Of course now, the homeowners have to figure out how to get rid of this monstrosity. They're going to consult with a pest control business.

Meanwhile, if you're anywhere near Alto, Texas, you might want to stay out of this neighborhood.








  

Fond Farewell To The Hug Lady Of Texas

The Hug Lady of Fort Hood, Elizabeth Laird, died Christmas
Eve. She's estimated to have given out at least 500,000
hugs to deploying U.S soldiers. 

Elizabeth Laird, 83, of Texas passed away on Christmas Eve.

You probably never heard of her, using just her real name. But she was famous, especially around Fort Hood Texas, as she was known as the "Hug Lady."

She made it her job to hang out at the local airport, giving each and every deploying soldier a hug as they departed, and then giving them another hug when they returned from their deployments.

Estimates are she gave at least 500,000 hugs.

"I mean, 1 O'clock in the morning, she was there, and she would say a prayer for the soldiers. She'd hug each one as they walked out the door. And then when you came home at 9 a.m. on a Sunday or whenever time you arrived, she was waiting for you when your plane flew in," Col. Christopher Garver told NPR. 

Of course, sometimes a person Laird hugged would never come home.

"What people don't understand is, a hug from her might be the last body contact of affection someone could have experienced. I know it for a fact, because I know some of the people she hugged who came back home in a body bag," retired Command Sgt. Maj. William "Joe" Gainey told the Killeen (Texas) Daily Herald. 

 No doubt the community loved her. When she was sick, dying of breast cancer back in November, a GoFundMe page was set up to pay some of her medical expenses. The goal was to raise $10,000. But in short order, the GoFundMe effort collected close to $95,000.

There's talk of changing the name of the deployment center at Fort Hood after Laird. They're also discussing giving Laird a posthumous Presidential Metal of Freedom for her efforts.

I can't think of a person more deserving of getting that metal.

Funeral services for Laird are scheduled for today in Killeen, in a church that has the capacity to hold about 2,500 people. A big place, but I doubt there's enough room there for everyone who wants to pay respect.

If there's a heaven, I'm sure Laird has hugged everybody up there already.

Rest in peace, Hug Lady. And thank you.

Wishing You "Happy Holidays" Is Not An Insult, You Idiots!"

Texas Agriculture Secretary Sid Miller is going to slap
you if you wish him "happy holidays' instead of
"Merry Christmas." I don't think I'll wish him anything.

Ok, there's an insult in the headline for this post. I called people idiots. My bad.

But, I'm sorry, people who are insulted when somebody wishes them "Happy Holidays" are idiots.

Like it or not, this nation, and the world for that matter is full of Christians, Jews, Muslims, agostics, atheists, Buddists, Sihks and a whole bunch of other persuasions.  

Which means if you never met the person you're greeting, you don't know if they're celebrating Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, winter solstice or some other year-end holiday. Or maybe they're celebrating nothing at all.

When somebody wishes you "happy holidays," all they're doing is wishing you happiness. That's it.

You'd think all this would be obvious. You'd' think you'd be happy somebody is being nice to you. Just enjoy it. Say "thank you" if you have any ounce of politeness in you. 

However, some people just HAVE to find something to be outraged about. Some people are FURIOUS when you wish them "happy holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."

Because a small subset of Christians think EVERYBODY just HAS to celebrate Christmas, and if you don't you should just go to hell.

I'm having this rant because of one Sid Miller, the Texas State Agriculture Commissioner, who recently said on Facebook. "If one more person says Happy Holidays to me I just might slap them....Either tell me Merry Christmas or just don't say anything."

Sid, Sid, Sid. When someone tells you "Happy Holidays," they're wishing you well. Maybe they don't  know you that well, so they revert to "Happy Holidays."

And yes, I know it works both ways. It's equally silly to have a hissy fit if someone wishes you a Merry Christmas even though you don't celebrate Christmas. If someone is being nice to you, why be hostile?

Speaking of hostile, respondents to Miller's Facebook whine were not exactly friendly. 

Jon Anderson: "Yeah, I hate it when people gie me well wishes that aren't the exact well wishes I want. It's like someone giving me a present and having it be a gift card to my favorite restaurant instead of to my favorite clothing store."

Ron Coley: "Let me get this straight: If one more person wishes you happiness with words that don't meet your approval, you'll slap them because you are a Christian and that's what Christmas is all about? Oh brother." 

Jonathan Buck: "Great idea! And, a great message for kids! Slap someone if they say happy holidays! Glad someone is focusing in on what is important."

You get the picture.

Sid's complaints about not being wished a "Merry Christmas" is all part of the "War on Christmas" a few conservatives and evangelicals think they see.  Right, Bill O'Reilly?

The Huffington Post offers a helpful chart to help you determine if you are being persecuted or not, so take a look at that, Sid Miller and friends.

What the "War On Christmas" really is is people who can't live with the fact that not everybody celebrates Christmas the way they do, and some people don't celebrate Christmas at all.

Yes, the whole Mary and Joseph and Jesus in the manger thing is really important and wonderful to millions of people and I think that's a great thing.

Is it really in the Christmas spirit, though, to slap down, literally or figuratively, people who are perhaps not that into Christmas, but are still generous enough to wish you well?

It's the season of sharing.  Maybe share some warmth instead of Grinchy bitterness instead.

Bryan Wilson, TEXAS LAW HAWK!!!!!

Texas Law Hawk!!  

Some ads for lawyers are, um, interesting, and we think we found the most insane one we've seen in quite awhile.

Introducing Bryan Wilson, Texas Law Hawk!!!!!!!!

You have to give the young attorney points for enthusiasm and he parades and runs around Fort Worth, doing wheelies on mini bikes, displaying more flag images than every Fourth of July that ever existed combined, and yelling until his voice gives out. I think.

I wonder if his performance is similar in a courtroom.

Fort Worth Weekly says the ads seem to work. Wilson's phone has been ringing off the hook with potential clients, some from as far away as Florida. However, he only practices in Tarrant County, Texas.

I guess people want a madcap lawyer representing them instead of somebody, um, sober. Go figure.

In any event, you'll be stunned, or thrilled or something, with this ad from TEXAS LAW HAWK!!!!!!

Muslim "Clock Kid" Gets Encouragement From Everybody Except His School

Ahmed Mohamed, 14, being arrested at his school
for bringing a homemade clock into the building.
Because anything a Muslim builds is a bomb,
if you want to believe the morons running the school.  

UPDATE:

Well, the school doesn't like him, and his town's police department isn't thrilled with him, either, but Ahmed Mohamed seems to be rocking the rest of the world.

Police dropped the idea of charging Mohamed with bringing a "hoax bomb" to school, when it was onl a clock he made that he wanted to show off.

I guess Irving, Texas police and the community's school district are not afraid of bullying a 14 year old kid because he's Muslim and likes to tinker, but are deathly afraid of bad pubicity, which they got big time.

President Obama doesn't seem too afraid of Mohamed and his clock, inviting him to the White House to show it off. Hilary Clinton Tweeted her support.

Huffington Post reported that Rep. Keith Ellison, D-Minn carried a clock around Capitol Hill Wednesday in support of Mohamed. Ellison is the first Muslim member of Congress.

And, while Mohamed was being interviewed by MSNBC's Hayes, another guest appeared on the show. It was MIT astrophysicist Chanda Prescod-Weinstein, who told Mohamed that he was exactly the "kind of student we want at places like MIT and Harvard."

By the way, the more news that comes out about how the school and police treated this kid, the worse it gets. The Daily Beast said Mohamed was denied access to his parents while being questioned, which violates Texas law.

School officials, including the principal, tried to coerce Mohamed into signing a statement that would easily have led to terrorism charges had he complied. He ended up writing. "I built a clock. The police think it's a bomb." Smart kid for writing his statement exactly that way.

So, the Irving School District really isn't into encouraging kids to succeed, especially if they're not white, most of the rest of the world is ahead of the game and does encourage bright young kids like Mohamed, who we are sure to need desperately in the future.

PREVIOUS DISCUSSION

A 14 year old kid in Irving, Texas likes to tinker and build things, and was proud of one little invention. It was a digital clock he made by himself.

For his ambition and effort, the kid was arrested. The leading theory as to why he was arrested is his name: Ahmed Mohamed.

Because as you know, anytime a kid with an Arabic name brings anything to school, especially if it's unusual, it' a bomb.  Because all Arabs and Muslims want to launch terrorist attacks on this great nation, don't you know.

Mohamed said he showed a couple teachers his clock, and later in the day was brought into the principal's office.

There, he said, police officers interrogated him, and said he could not call his father until they finished questioning him.

Says the Dallas Morning News:

"So the 14-year-old missed the student council meeting and took a trip in handcuffs to juvenile detention. His clock now sits in an evidence room. Police say they may yet charge him with making a hoax bomb - though they acknowledge he told everyone who would listen that it's a clock."

That's the incredible part right there: He told everyone his device is a clock. Anyone who looks at it can see it's a clock. But they still might charge him with making a "hoax bomb"

And he's been suspended from school for three days. All because he was proud of learning something. What a way to encourage a kid, huh?

Sorry, but if this were a white kid, this would have completely gone away by now.

Yes, I get it. Schools, and everyone else need to be careful. It wouldnt' have been a problem at all if somebody at the school asked to see Mohamed's clock to make sure it wasn't anything weird. Even get a cop to look at it.

The clock isn't elaborate to begin with. Mohamed threw it together in 20 minutes. It's a circuit board wired to a digital display, all inside a case with a tiger hologram in the front, Dallas Morning News reports. 

But the fact this is dragging on, and it seems the school and police aren't acknowledging they made a mistake, means something more is going than just caution.

The Dallas Morning News says there's more than a whiff of anti-Islamic sentiment in Irving, Texas anyway. Irving Mayor Beth Van Duyne fueled rumors in speeches that Muslims are plotting to usurp American laws,

This whole thing has become a cause celebre now.

Mohamed has got a fast rising number of suppoers. The hashtag #StandWithAhmed was a top trending topic on Twitter this morning.

Rallies are planned at the school.

Still, this is yet another example of an American school system that, instead of encouraging a smart kid to do great things, makes sure instead that he is reluctant to achieve.

And you wonder why America is falling behind in achievement and scientific advancement?

Out Of Control Nut Job Judge Forces Couple To Marry

A weird Texas judge ordere Josten Bundy to marry his girlfriend,
Elizabeth Jaynes, as punishment for an assault
conviction. Bundy had punched Jaynes' ex. 

A couple in Texas got married recently, which is very nice.

What's not nice is the couple married only because a wacko judge said the groom must get married or go to jail.

This all started whern Josten Bundy got into a physical fight with his girlfriend's ex who was saying disparaging things about her.

So Bundy punched him, and the ex-boyfriend pressed charges.

Even Bundy says he shouldn't have punched the ex-boyfriend, but told Judge Randall Rogers that, "I was raised with four sisters and if any man was talking to a woman like that......I'd probably do the same thing.

Of course by hitting the ex, Bundy committed a crime, and there's consequences for that. The judtge sentenced him to probation, which make sense. Maybe a fine, a ban on alcohol consumption, how about some mandatory anger management counseling?

That would work, but NOPE. Here's where the judge went off the rails.

According to television station KLTV, Judge Rogers said that as part of his probation, Bundy had to marry his girlfriend or spend 15 days in jail.

Bundy figured it he was in jail, he'd lose his job, so he had no choice but to marry Jaynes, says KLTV.

They were probably going to get married anyway at some point, but they didn't want a rushed courthouse wedding where many of their loved ones couldn't witness it. Jaynes said she wanted one of those "Say Yes To The Dress" weddings with all the trappings of a traditional big ceremony, reception and party.

By the way, the judge was also punishing Jaynes by forcing to get abruptly married. Remember, she was not accused of any crime whatsoever in this whole thing.

The father of the bride was certainly angry, which is understandable. The dad, Kenneth Jaynes told KLTV the judge "can't do this by court ordering somebody to be married...I contacted a couple of lawyers but they tole me someone was trying to pull my leg, that judges don't court order somebody to get married."

Well, this one did.

Of course, dad is right. Forcing Bundy and Jaynes to marry  is almost certainly unconstitutional, but Bundy and Jaynes aren't lawyers, and didn't know what to do about the abrupt marriage sentence, while in the moment with the judge.

The judge also said Bundy must write Bible verses as part of his punishment. So much for separation of Church and State.

What else is this wacko judge Rogers going to do for future sentencings? Force a non-Christian to convert to Christianity?  Order a gay defendent to somehow turn straight, or else go to jail?

KTLV said Judge Rogers wouldn't comment on this case, or his sentencing habits in general.

I hope Texas can recall or fire judges. This one is too much.

City Threatens To Jail Elderly Woman For Not Mowing Her Lawn

These four brothers mowed the huge lawn behind them
because the city threatened to jail the elderly
property owner for not mowing it.  

I guess city officials in Riesel, Texas have nothing better to do.

They've been threatening to jail a 75 year old woman for not mowing the lawns on property she owns.

She can't handle the job.

I suppose there's the possibility she's being obstinate, that she's just not bothering to hire someone to do the mowing. I don't know if she can afford it or not.

And the grass did get tall, up to 18 inches tall.

So yeah, maybe people in Riesel were annoyed by the tall grass. That, I get.

But threatening to put the woman in jail for not mowing the lawn? That just seems a bit harsh to me.

Four young brothers were nice enough to go over to Gerry Suttle's property, and they spend two hours in the hot Texas sun mowing the lawn, so she wouldn't have to go to jail.

However, she's apparently still in trouble.  She received another summons from the fine city officials of Riesel to mow the lawn or go to jail. It's unclear if the city is unhappy with the way the four boys mowed the lawn (looks fine to me, judging from the pictures) or whether another property is too overgrown for the city of Riesle to bear.

City officials aren't talking to reporters. They've got better things to do. Like maybe the old lady down the block who didn't deadhead all the faded flowers in her garden or something stupid like that.

I guess Riesel takes its landscaping way, wayyyyyy to seriously.

Fear In Texas: The Great U.S. Invasion Of 2015!! EEEK!!!

A U.S. military map for the Jade Helm
military exercise in the American Southwest
this summer. Some paranoid Texans
think the government is going to
put them in concentration camps,
but probably not.  

Texans are bracing for an invasion of that great state by the U.S. military.

Um, yes, Texas is already part of the United States, like it or not, but some Tea Party and conspiratorial types are saying the military will invade anyway.

This all started from a long planned military exercise called Jade Helm 15.

Parts of the southwestern United States, including Arizona, New Mexico and Texas, will be stand-ins for rugged Middle Eastern terrain.

(As Gawker notes, they're using the Southwest for this exercise because you can't really train for a war against Iran inside Iran. They might object.)

The military exercise divides different areas of the Southwest into friendly and hostile areas, for the purposes of training. Texas is marked as "hostile"

That means, according to Tea Party kooks, that the military is going to take away everybody's guns, lock up the Christians, and, I don't know, make everybody get gay married or something.

A website called AllNewsPipeline has the scoop. It's on the Internet, so it has to be true. Here's what AllNewsPipeline tells us what's really going on:

"Numerous 'FEMA Domes' are being rushed to completion across the state of Texas in locations suchas Lumberton, Brownsville, Pancho Maples and Kingsville are raising alarms with many who view these structures as 'FEMA death domes' used to house insurgents following the red and blue list round up of gun owners, Christians and patriotic supporters of American and the U.S. Constitution."

The conspiracy wackadoodles say
Walmart is closing Texas stores to help
the government set up concentration camps.
Nope the stores are closing because they're
underperforming or need renovations.  

Adding fuel to the fire was the closure of six Walmarts in western Texas. And what do failed Walmarts have to do with the Great Invasion of 2015?

Walmart is saying the stores closed because nobody shopped there, or the stores need to be renovated, which sounds plausible.  But no! They're going to be detention camps for all them god fearin' Christuns being oppressed by that evil Muslim Jihadist Obama.

Or something like that.

All this Tea Party right wing conspiracy craziness would be good for just a chuckle, and then we would move on except for one thing:

People who should know better, who are in charge, are buying into this craziness. Or at least pandering to it.

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott said he has told the Commander of the Texas State Guard to monitor the millitary training exercise, so that the U.S. government doesn't get any ideas and kill all the Texas Christians and take their guns. Or something.

Rest assured, says Gov. Abbott, that the Texas State Guard will ensure that Texans'  "safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed" by this evil U.S. invasion U.S. military exercise in the state.

The ever reliable Texas U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert also chimed in. He's always fun to listen to with his extreme rhetoric, and he doesn't disappoint here:

"This military practice has some concerned that the U.S. Army is preparing for modern-day martial law. Certainly, I can understand these concerns.

When leaders within the current administration believe that major threats to the country include those who support the Constitution, are military veterans or even 'cling to guns or religion,' patriotic Americans have reasons to be concerned."

 Of course U.S soldiers, the ones participating in the military exercise are patriotic American citizens. Isn't it kind of insulting to think these fine soldiers would set up concentration camps or something to detain and kill other Constitution loving Americans?

Yep, but oh well.

It's no secret a lot of Texans, with all those conservatives, don't like President Obama, which is totally fair enough. NPR quoted former Texas Lt. Gov David Dewhurst as saying, "Unfortunately, some Texans have projected their legitimate concerns about the competence and trustworthiness of President Barack Obama on these noble warriors. This must stop."

Don't count on it stopping, Mr. Dewhurst.

That's because there's money to be made. All these conspiracy organizations need a source of income. If the U.S. "invasion" of Texas doesn't happen, then these whackadoodle groups can say they "prevented" it, and if need be, do a money beg to take advantage of it.

And the Texas governor's pandering, and Gohmert's babble around all this is just being pro business, right? Keep that conspiracy industry going. Plus, throwing red meat to this constituency won't hurt in future elections.