Right Wing Wacko Pasters Always Entertain (Continued)

Frank Amedia says he miraculously resurrected an ant. You gotta start somewhere.

In this here blog thingy, I always love to quote some of the more, shall we say, colorful, evangelical right wingers who, I must admit are incredibly creative with their stories.

I've got a couple more, and let's start with the best one, which I think tops anything I've seen so far.

DEMONIC INSECTS

According to Right Wing Watch, Frank Amedia, who served as a volunteer "Christian policy liaison" for Donald Trump's presidential campaign, says he resurrected an ant back to life.

OK, OK, bringing an ant back to life isn't exactly the same as the Resurrection of Jesus, but you have to start somewhere.

Amedia begins his story: "This was the most incredible one." When you read on, you'll realize you can't argue with him.

On a recent trip to Israel, he was bitten on the leg by an ant while praying (of course!) and he instinctively swatted it before crushing it into pieces with his thumb.

OK, a little mean, but I would have done the same thing. Here's where it goes off the rails:

"All of a sudden, the Holy Spirit speaks to me so clearly. It was as clear as I have ever heard....It was the voice of the Father. The Father calls me son, an dthe Father said, 'Son, look at the ant......And the Lord said to me, 'Son, I hear the cry of an ant.'"

It's nice to know that the Lord loves all creatures, great and small, including ants, so it's good that the Lord heard the anguish of this poor ant.

Amedia continues: "I began to weep inside of me....And then the Lord said, 'Son, take your finger and touch the ant.'"

Or the little pieces of it, but whatever.

Anyway, Amedia, being obedient, did as the Lord instructed. And lo and behold!!!. Well, let's let Amedia tell us:

"The power of God shot out..and the ant, it came alive and the pieces all were together and it jumped up on my finger, came up slowly my palm, and stopped right there as if it was looking right at me.'"

The video of Amedia's tale, at the bottom of this post, is something to, um, behold, so it's worth the watch.

Amedia does have something of a fascination with insects. Back in November, 2016, Right Wing Watch tells us he warned us about demonic hornets. I hate hornet stings, so I don't blame him for calling them demonic.

But Amedia went pretty far with his story.

He warned us that he saw hornets "dipping these stingers into a cesspool" that contained "a liquor, a potion, and the potion was filled with all the vile characteristics and the power of witchcraft and occult, of abortion and murder and selfishness and deceitfulness.... and they were being sent out to invade humanity, and, if you will, inject these potions."

I guess in other words, the hornets were drinking Bud Light and then stinging us to inject us with that awful piss water. That's my theory, anyway.

Amedia, as always, goes on: "And I saw that they (the hornets) were dipping their tails in that putrid muck that was coing up from Abaddon (whereever that is) and being sent out to sting, sting, with homosexuality........ "

The rest is the whole litany of other "sins" he hates.

Oh, so that's why I'm gay! My mother wasn't liberal enough with the bug spray, and as a child, I must have gotten stung by a demonic hornet and here I am today. Oh well, bummer.

GOD COMMANDS US ALL TO OWN AR-15S

There's a lot of controversy these days about AR-15s, the semi-automatic weapons that are the centerpiece of so many tragic mass shootings in our nation.

Chuck Baldwin says you're not a true Christian unless you own an AR-15

It turns out, AR-15s are pure and godly, and everybody in this Christian nation should own one, or at least something like one of these.  

So says Chuck Baldwin, who, sadly, failed to win the presidency in 2008 as the Christian Reconstructionist Constitution Party's nominee. (Don't worry, I've never heard of this group, either.)

According to Right Wing Watch. (Again! I swear they're not making this stuff up) Baldwin informs us that any Christian that does not own the equivalent of an AR-15 "has denied the Christian faith" and is "worse than a heathen."

His proof is Bible passage 1 Timothy, Baldwin said that every adult has "a duty to provide for your family, but you cannot provide protection for your family without being equipped to do so."

OK.

I'm not a Bible expert, so I looked up 1 Timothy. Maybe I'm not a careful reader, but for the life of me, I could not find any reference to AR-15s in that Bible passage. I couldn't even find much there regarding protection of family. Oh, well.

Giant Hornets Nest Terrorizes Texas Family.

Marcus Smith, in Alto, Texas much braver than I am,
dares to put his hand near a hornets nest much bigger
than he is inside an abandoned trailer.  

Generally, I don't like to use toxic chemicals, even on bugs that bite and sting.

I make an exception, though, for hornets and wasps, which, in the summer, keep forming little nests on my deck and in my shed. They take control, so I regularly spray new nests with Raid.  

OK, so I'm not environmentally correct.  Don't get me wrong.

Hornets are actually good insects if they're far enough away from my house. Hornets and wasps eat insects that damage gardens, and they help with pollination.

If they're a good couple hundred feet away, I leave them alone. Only if they're far enough away.

Which leads us to a recent story out of Texas. It's a situation that would require a LOT of Raid. Maybe the entire Raid factory.

There's an old trailer in the back yard of an Alto, Texas house. Nobody has set food in the thing for years. In fact nobody has touched the thing, really, in 10 years or so.

But now, the homeowners and their friends want to give the property a bit of a makeover. Family friend Marcus Smith entered the abandoned trailer and what he found would have scared the bejeesus out of me.

He seemed pretty calm in his interview on television station KYTX, which is better than I could have done.

Inside the trailer in the back yard, he found a hornet's nest that seems almost as big as a Smart Car, in my assessment. Smith stands six feet, one inches tall, and the hornet's nest is up to his chest. It has completely consumed a couch that had been abandoned in the trailer as well.

Smith even voluntarily went back into the trailer with a KYTX reporter to show her his find.

Yikes!

Of course now, the homeowners have to figure out how to get rid of this monstrosity. They're going to consult with a pest control business.

Meanwhile, if you're anywhere near Alto, Texas, you might want to stay out of this neighborhood.








  

Eat Mo' Bugs, Says UN. Vermont Mosquitoes, Anyone?

Well, I suppose this is one way to fight hunger, global warming and pollution, at least according to the United Nations: Eat bugs.

Doesn't sound appetizing, but that's what they're saying,. Apparently, eating bugs will solve a whole bunch of ills. According to the Associated Press:

 

 Could mosquitoes become the new Vermont cuisne

"Edible insects are being promoted as a low-fat, high-protein food for people, pets and livestock. According to the U.N., they come with appetizing side benefits: Reducing greenhouse gas emissions and livestock pollution, creating jobs in developing countries and feeding the millions of hungry people in the world."

Up in Vermont, we had more rain in one week in May than we usually get in two months. It's supposed to turn warm and humid. So the black flies and mosquitoes will be as thick as molasses.

We will be eaten alive by these awful things. But, if we take the UN report to heart, we can turn the tables and eat the mosquitoes.

I have questions, though, since I'm so inexperienced with the ways of bug eating. First of all, exactly how do you harvest them? It seems counter productive to catch them as they're biting you.  You're not the one that is supposed to be eaten.

Assuming you catch all the mosquitoes you need for a meal, how exactly do you prepare it. Fry them? Make a stew out of them? A pate?

What ingredients compliment the taste of mosquitoes? Or, probably more accurately, mask the taste of mosquitoes. I've never eaten mosquito, obviously, so I don't honestly don't know what to do.

Are there experts? Is there a mosquito cookbook? Does Rachel Ray have a whole book of mosquito recipes, full of quick, easy and tasty mosquito dinners?

Maybe they should use mosquitoes in the list of strange ingredients in the cooking competition show "Chopped." on the Food Network

The bottom line is, the field of insect and mosquito cuisine is still in its infancy. Any cooks out there want to experiement?