"Meth: We're On It" Still A Big Talker In South Dakota

This very unfortunate drug awareness ad is still the talk of
South Dakota, to their chagrin.

I'm in South Dakota this week, and one thing I notice is people are still talking about the state's "Meth:  We're On It" campaign.

This caused a nationwide stir a month ago, when the state of South Dakota released its meth drug awareness campaign.

The campaign shows photos of iconic or typical South Dakota-type people with a tagline: "Meth: We're On It."

This naturally made South Dakota a nationwide butt of jokes, but the governor here, Kris Noem, says the campaign is working.

"The mission of the campaign is to raise awareness - to get people talking about how they can e part of the solution and not just the problem," Noem told the Sioux Falls Argus Leader last month.

Noem said the meth campaign, which cost something like $449,000 is a "bold, innovative effort like the nation has never before seen."

I suppose that last statement is true.

That $449,000 price tag seems high, and that prompted the predictable jokes. "The ad agency spent $1,000 on the PSA campaign and $448,000 on meth," wrote @MatthewHekerman on Twitter.

Another twitter denizen, Ian Boudreau (@iboudreau) suggested other ideas "Meth: It's What's for Dinner," "Where's the Meth" and "Meth: The Other White Drug."

According to the Sioux Falls Argus Leader, businesses are capitalizing on this, so that's good.

A bicycle business called Spoke-n Sport -did an ad with the tag line Bikes; We're On It with a photo of a grinning mountain biker in what looks like the Badlands.

Somebody in Minnesota cooked up this idea
for a Meth ad as a companion to South Dakota's.

Even the cheap beer Natural Light tweeted a slogan "Natural Light: We're On It" which to me would be almost as bad as being on meth.

A t-shirt company is offering shirts that say "South Dakota is apparently on meth" and "Don't meth with South Dakota."

I don't know what it is about South Dakota. This isn't the first time the state came up with an ad with a questionable double entendre.

Back in 2014, wintry South Dakota was worried about motorists making unsafe, abrupt moves on icy roads. So, the catch phrase was "Don't Jerk And Drive." Yes, they meant don't jerk the steering wheel.  But really?

Also, in 2015, South Dakota promoted itself as a place to live and work because, at least unlike Mars, there is air in South Dakota. (It's true! I'm in South Dakota as I write this and I am having absolutely no trouble breathing. There is indeed air here!)

The way things are going, I can't wait to see what the next South Dakota slogan will be.  Whoever comes up with it, I'm guessing meth - they'll be on it.

My Annual Darlene Love Christmas Greeting

Darlene Love and Jason Derulo perform this year's "Christmas (Baby
Please Come Home." on "The View"

Every year, because Christmas is the season of tradition, I do my annual Darlene Love Christmas greeting.

Here's the recap: My favorite holiday song is Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) made famous by Darlene Love way back in 1963.

She sang it every year from 1986 and 2014 on the David Letterman show. When that went off the air   she moved to "The View."

It's now nice every year when Darlene Love comes on that show and puts a temporary end to the hosts' constant bickering.

This Christmas  is a bit different for me than recent ones.  Usually, I have to stay in Vermont while my husband travels to South Dakota to be with family.  Normally, I can't go, as since I work for a retailer, I have to stay to the bitter end at Christmas. No holiday trips to South Dakota for me!

Except this year. A generous boss at work gave me some time off, so I've joined husband Jeff in South Dakota this year. So it's beautiful chaos for me as numerous in-laws, nieces, nephews wander in and out. And I'm with my husband, so I don't have to whine about baby, please come home.

Of course, this means I'm not with family in Vermont, so you can't have everything.

On "The View" this year Darlene Love was joined by Jason Derulo for this year's rendition. Here you go and Merry Christmas!

"Megakota?" Latest Weird Move To Alter United States Map

A dumb Change.org petition is advocating that North and South
Dakota be merged into one state, called MegaKota. 

People are always coming up with daft ideas to alter the map of the United States.

The latest: Merge North Dakota and South Dakota into one big state, called "MegaKota."

Obviously, this idea will go nowhere, but that's not going to stop people from trying.

A Change.org petition was recently posted by Dillan Stewart of Fargo, North Dakota. This doesn't sound like a fully formed proposal, if you ask me. Stewart wrote: "I think itd (sic) be pretty cool to have a state called MegaKota so yeah.  oh (sic) yeah and then maybe Puerto Rico can be a state and we won't have to change our flag."

Uh, right.

As of late morning Thursday, the petition had nearly 7,000 signatures and it was increasing rapidly,   , so some people like this idea.  A few people think there's zero difference between North and South Dakota, so you might as well merge them. Still, people from both states would beg to differ on that assessment.

If MekaKota came into being, it would be the fourth largest state by land area, the 37th largest economy  and the sixth biggenst farm economy according to journalist David H. Montgomery.

My husband Jeff, originally from South Dakota, points out that "Megakota" is an insult to Native Americans in the region. After all "Dakota" refers to one of several tribes among the Sioux,  others being Lakota and Nakota.

"MegaKota"  to me sounds like a real slap in the face to these tribes.

There's been all kinds of weird merger or secession proposals around. One ballot proposal that might be in the works would make California secede from the union, a Calexit of sort.  Of course, nobody thinks that will get anywhere, either.

It looks like Russia was trying to encourage this, too. Which is something you'd kind of expect from Putin and his ilk.

Another harebrained scheme would split California into three parts - the northern third, coastal southern California and inland southern California. Why, I don't know.

There's also been a weak movement to have Texas secede from the union. That won't go anywhere either. The "logic" behind the Texas movement is the federal government is taking away too many rights for liberty loving Texans, or something like that.

And, wouldn't you know! Russia was trying to encourage Texas secession, too. 

No word yet on whether the Russians will sign on to "MegaKota. Probably not, because the Dakotas are not trying to split off from the Union.

Republicans Seem To Hate Wishes Of Voters

Another case of GOP anti-democratic instincts: South Dakota
Gov.Dennis Daugaard and his fellow state Republicans
are mad at his state's voters for approving an ethics las
for state lawmakers. 

In yet another example of how many Republicans seem to have abandoned the idea of doing the bidding of voters, South Dakota lawmakers are going to cancel a voter initiative that insisted on government ethics.

Republicans there just declared a "legislative emergency" since voters there had the gall to want ethics in their government.  Because it's definitely an emergency when voters want their lawmakers to be ethical.

According to Huffington Post, the goal of the "legislative emergency" is to wipe out the new ethics and campaign finance law South Dakota voters approved in November.

The regulations would create an independent commission to oversee proves into ethical misconduct by elected officials, impose tougher limits on campaign contributions and lobbyists' gifts to lawmakers, place restrictions on lawmakers who become lobbyists, increase disclosure requirements from independent political groups and set up a system to publicly finance elections, says the Huffington Post. 

Sounds pretty comprehensive, right?

Much too comprehensive for the Republicans running South Dakota. The state's governor, Dennis Daugaard said South Dakota voters were "hoodwinked" into voting for the law.

I don't think the voters of South Dakota are that dumb. They knew what they were doing, since there was a lot of back and forth about the merits of the proposed law before South Dakotans approved it in November.

But, the voters had the gall to want to hinder political hijinks. A big no-no, especially among Republicans, it seems.

The people have no right, apparently to influence the decisions of their so-called leaders.

Exhibit Number 1 is Donald Trump, of course, who obvious thinks what he wants in his Big Ego alternative universe, where he has a "mandate" despite losing the popular vote by around 3 million people.

Trump's life is life guided by "alternative facts" such as the YUUGE crowds that supposedly turned out for his inauguration, and the billions of lies he's told. (I don't have the space to list them, obviously.)

State Republican-led legislatures are big into this game, too, and it's not just South Dakota.

We saw the spectacle a month or two back, after North Carolina voters narrowly got a Democratic governor into the State House.

The Republicans there pounced, calling an out-of-the-blue special session in December stripping the new Democratic Governor Roy Cooper of many of his powers before he took office on the first of January. (Cooper is of course suing these Republicans.)

Republicans have been deft at gerrymandering Congressional districts, .adopting voter suppression laws, and pleasing their dwindling ultra-conservative base.

CNN noted the Republican M.O. in relation to the atrocity in North Carolina, but they could have been talking about Trump and many other Republicans across the nation.

"Extremist Republicans wo cut taxes for the wealthy, denied health care to poor people, attacked public education, suppressed votes and targeted immigrants and minorities with mean-spirited legislation are making their last stand against the ballot box and the courts."

Despite the huge damage that Trump, Congressional Republicans and many rank-and-file Republicans in red states are doing and will do, I'm still optimistic that demographics and decency will win out.

We're just going to have to spend a few painful years first. I can see already that Trump is proving every bit as terrible a president as his many critics predicted.

The arch-conservatives are overstepping, and people are going to rebel. The first real sign of that was the Womens Marches last weekend. Almost all of them drew far more participants than even some of the most optimist organizers predicted.

It was basically old white people that got Trump into power, and have enabled Republican state legislators to do their damage to everyone else.

I still think these mostly old white people will realize they've been conned. Also, as crass as this sounds, a lot of them are dying off, leaving us with a far more diverse, tolerant, moderate populace.

Moderate does not mean "not pissed off." People are pissed off, and the pendulum will swing. We'll have to be patient.

Push Americans far enough, though, and they tend to get revolutionary. Yep, we are living in interesting times. Let's hope the short term pain of the next few years leads us to long term gain.

That prospect is what keeps us going.

The Inevitable Just Happened At A Kum & Go Convenience Store

Yes, there is a chain of convenience stores in the Midwest
with this unfortunate name.  

There is only one thing I don't like about going out to see my in-laws in South Dakota periodically.

In South Dakota and surrounding states, there's a chain of convenience stores with the unfortunate name Kum & Go.  Yes, it's spelled that way.

I always feel a flush of embarrassment when I'm the car with my sweet 89 year old mother in law every time we pass by the Yankton, South Dakota Kum & Go.

I know I have a dirty mind, and the owners of the convenience store chain are just inviting people to come in and be served gasoline, coffee or whatever quickly and be on their way.

But I'm sure I'm not the only person whose inner middle school boy emerges when he sees a Kum & Go store.

Finally, the inevitable just happened at one of these Kum & Go stores.

A guy named Gabriel Newell-Terren Lee, 18,  was arrested for masturbating inside a Kum & Go in Mason City, Iowa, says television station KIMT in Mason City. 

Well, what did you expect?

Police said people in the store saw this guy being a pervert,, and he exposed himself to at least one person there. He drove away in a blue SUV, but police later caught up with him, says KIMT.

All this just reinforces my M.O. when I'm visiting Yankton, South Dakota. When I need my soda, beer or munchies fix, I'll just avoid the Kum & Go and head on over to the HyVee Supermarket.

The White Guy Or Guys Who Harassed Native American Kids In South Dakota Not So Smug Now

Native American kids were recently verbally abused
and had beer sprayed at them by idiots in a skybox at
this Rapid City hockey game recently. Police
are hunting the idiots down now.  

It must be wonderful to be a smug white drunk guy.

You're on top of the world, aren't you? You're better than everybody else, aren't you?

Especially those Native American kids you see below you, from your perch in the skybox as you watch a hockey game in a Rapid City, South Dakota arena.

What are those awful Native American kids doing here, anyway, you wonder. They don't belong here. This is only for white people. Native American kids show stay on the reservation.

So you tell them, through your drunken beer addled brain. "Go back to the reservation," you yell. 

You see the kids and their chaperones are getting visibly upset. Good, you think. They don't deserve to have a nice evening out at a hockey game. That's only for white people, isn't it? Especially white men like yourself.

Thank goodness there's plenty of beer. The beer distributor Eagle Sales of the Black Hills owns this skybox. This is good. There's so much beer you can pour some of it on those awful Native American kids down below and keep yelling at them to go back to the reservation.

Finally, they do. They all get up and leave. And they're upset. Good. Only white people like you deserve to have fun, don't you?  The Native American kids going back to the reservation. Where they can live in poverty like they're supposed to.

Us white guys are kings. They're our slaves. And you don't want to hear they were here before you were, huh? You're the big He-man conquerer, aren't you, the guy pouring beer on innocent kids and heaping abuse on them.

Oh, look at that. Tribal leaders, and the parents of the kids you yelled at and poured beer on during the hockey game demand a meeting, and justice, with Rapid City city leaders.

The leaders grant the meeting. Probably just to humor them and for PR, you think. The meeting last for three hours. Why did the white city leaders of Rapid City waste so much time on these stupid Native Americans, you think.

Afterwards, Rapid City's police chief emerges from the meeting. He looks pissed. He's a white guy, so you probably think he's pissed at those stupid Native Americans for wasting so much of his time when he could be drinking beer at a hockey game. And tossing some of it on these stupid Native Americans.

The police chief, Karl Jegeris is pissed alright. At YOU, white guy or guys who tortured these kids at the hockey game.

Jegeris has this to say:

"We're going to be looking at assault. We're going to look at the hate crimes statutes. We will look at the child abuse statutes. And we, will look at any other relevant statutes," he says.

Yes, the police chief is looking for you, stupid white guy or guys with the beer, so he can charge you with child abuse, or assault, or a hate crime.

You wonder what the world has come to. Charging you with a crime for being a good 'ol American, the place that is the land exclusively for white people, especially ignorant white men like you.

You find out the Native American kids were at the  hockey game in the first place because they were being rewarded for studying hard. Behaving. Trying to get ahead in this world.

What right to they have to study, to get ahead? They'll take jobs away from dumb white men like you. Because you're too stupid to hold down a job, at least compared to these bright Native American kids.

That's why you hate them so much, isn't it?  Deep down inside, you know they have a lot more going for them than you. So you do anything to keep them down, to demoralize them, to make them want to give up.

It seemed to work at first, didn't it? The parents of the Native American kids were on TV, tearfully explaining how upsetting this was for the kids.

But now others in the community are reaching out to these Native American kids. Many of these community members are white, and are being nice to these kids. You probably think these nice white people are traitors, being nice to the Native American kids who you think belong in abject poverty on the reservation.

Even the guy who owns the skybox at the hockey arena is apologizing for your behavior. You begin to think he's some sort of traitor, too.

And now, white guy or guys, the police know who you are, and will come to arrest you, too. Your name will be all over the papers, and on line. You'll get an onslaught of hate messages.

You think you're being beaten down by political correctness. "What is this country coming to", you wonder. "Why am I suddenly the victim?", you wonder. I'm supposed to be on top. I'm a white guy, you think.

Well, actually there are a lot of white guys and gals on top. The ones that won't beat others down because of racism, like yours. You don't think you are a bigot, but most other people think you are.

And you really are. The rest of us can't wait to see you arrested, to see who you are, to see how you react the world, which was once the way you want it to be, is changing.

Have another beer. You'll need it. Because they don't serve beer in jail.

Don't Jerk And Drive In South Dakota

This seems to be a little insulting: My in-laws have been told not to "jerk and drive."

The South Dakota road (and sexual?) safety hashtag

The Modereger clan lives largely in South Dakota, and actually, they were among all South Dakota state residents who were recently told to not "jerk and drive."

Before we go on, South Dakota authorities tell us to get our minds out of the gutter. See, "don't jerk and drive" is not really a message to not, um, have fun with yourself while you're driving, though that's strongly discouraged too.

Television station KMTV in Omaha, Nebraska says what South Dakota state road safety officials are trying to say is to not jerk the steering wheel while you're driving on icy winter South Dakota roads - and presumably any road anywhere that has snow or ice on it.

Says a South Dakota public service announcement:

"Should your tire leave a snowy or icy road, resist the urge to jerk the steering wheel. Over correcting only results in chaos. Besides, nobody likes a jerker."

The South Dakota director of Public Safety says he's aware of the campaign's double meaning. He says South Dakota drivers should keep their cars out of the ditch and their minds out of the gutter.

So take THAT, you people driving across South Dakota in the winter!

However, someone with the South Dakota Office of Highway Safety says the campaign has outperformed previous ones and has reached the demographic of young men, which is hard to reach, says KMTV.

So actually, in a way, the state is keeping its mind in the gutter, because they know young men sometimes have their minds there, too, apparently.

Well, as long as we keep their cars out of the ditch, I guess that's fine.

However, we now have some sad late breaking news, The Argus Leader newspaper in Sioux Falls, South Dakota is now reporting the state is going to pull the "Don't Jerk and Drive" campaign. 

I guess some state lawjerkers, er, lawmakers, were upset with the ad campaign

According to the Argus Leader:

"Before the cancellation, state Rep. Mike Verchio was planning on calling (highway safety director Lee) Axdahl before the Transportation Committee next month to 'explain why they would do something like that.'"

Like why isn't obvious to Verchio, a Republican from Hill City, South Dakota. But Verchio said his constitutents were upset by "Don't Jerk and Drive"

The ad campaign was successful, as anything strange like this would be.

State authorities said more than 16,000 people saw the campaign, with its #Don'tJerkAndDrive hashtag, and this public safety campaign outperformed previous ones by a ratio of 25 to 1.

Outperformed, get it?

OK, time to get my mind out of the gutter. I'll stop being a jerk now.

Video! A Modereger Family Christmas In South Dakota

I've had a great week in South Dakota, hanging out with relatives to enjoy the Christmas holiday.

The video in this post is one I put together to show glimpses of the sights and sounds of a wonderful holiday in Yankton, South Dakota. Hope your Christmas was as good as this:

Gorgeous Skies And Fun Quirks in Yankton, South Dakota

I'm continuing my tour of southern South Dakota with my hosts the Moderegers - my husband Jeff's side of the family.

The massive Gavin Point Dam on the Missouri River
near Yankton, S.D. with an even bigger sky above this week.  

My husband Jeff took me out here this week to visit the family, many of whom live in the pleasant southeastern South Dakota city of Yankton, in the Missouri River valley.

I continue to be fascinated by the big sky here. They say Montana is Big Sky country, but South Dakota has to be in the same league as Montana.

As proof, Jeff took me to the Gavin Point Dam, which is on the Missouri River near Yankton. And later,  Drew, the son of Jeff's cousin Shann, took us for a spin on his boat on Lewis and Clark Lake, which is behind the Gavin Point Dam.

The light was exquisite. On the boat ride, small showers and thunderstorms erupted in the distance, and a strong sun peeked in and out of the billowing white and black clouds. Orange sandstone cliffs ring the lake, adding to the color.

I could have stayed out there all night, though I'm sure Drew wouldn't have appreciated being out on that water as it got cold overnight.

I continue to find a number of quirks in the area that just adds to the fun.

A beautiful sky on Wednesday on Lewis and Clark Lake
behind the Gavins Point Dam on the Missouri River
near Yankton, South Dakota.  

At and near the Gavin Point Dam, I noticed a lot of people, mostly high school age boys, armed with bows and arrows.  Did we stumble upon a Boy Scout camp?

Nope. They shoot fish with arrows here. They even do it from overlooks near the dam. They shoot the fish, and a line attached to the bow and arrow allows the fishermen to haul the fish up the cliff into their hands.

The parks around the dam even have a number of helpful kiosks where people can clean and cook their fish.  

Everybody in Yankton goes to Charlie's Pizza, so we did too after we finished the boat ride.  It looks like it hasn't been redecorated since the 1950s or 60s, which makes it a cool place.

For some reason the sign out front has a badly rendered painting of the famous picture of Marilyn Monroe with an air vent lifting up her white dress.

In the Charlie's Pizza men's room, there are two photographs of Marilyn Monroe and a movie poster from the 1950s  camp classic "Attack Of The 50 Foot Tall Woman."

There is no explanation as to why that is.

Back at home in Vermont, almost all the flower gardens have mulch in the beds, surrounding the plants.

In South Dakota, nobody uses mulch. Instead, all the flower beds, and I mean virtually all of them, have smooth round river rocks, averaging about the size of hens eggs in the gardens. The rocks supposedly hold down the moisture and block weeds like mulch is intended to do.

A garden in back of the Modereger home in
Yankton,  South Dakota, after I planted a few
perennials. They use river rocks for mulch in South
Dakota, not mulch, like in New England.  

I planted a few perennials and annuals in the Moderegers' garden, just to feel useful. I wonder how the rocks will affect the plants. Will the rocks collect heat and cook the plants on hot, sunny days?

It seems to work for everybody, though, and peoples gardens look healthy enough.  And the soil beneath the rocks seemed rich and moist enough when I did some planting.

The rocks must be mostly a South Dakota aesthetic.  Out here, it's dry and windy and sunny, which evokes the bleached, vaguely barren look the rocks give. It works here. New England is damp, cool and woodsy, so mulch seems to fit the surroundings more.

We'll give it a go.

Two days from now, I'll head back to Vermont. I'll miss Yankton. Part of it is because I spent the week being a slug. I didn't do anything useful or productive and slept in mornings until what for me is the crack of noon. (I'd get up at around 7 or 8)  In Vermont, I usually get up at 4 a.m.

But a large part of why I will miss Yankton once I leave is it is so comfortable here. It's not a flashy place. Yankton is well kept, productive and energetic enough, but definitely not frenetic.  It doesn't  feel like everybody is in intense competition with each other in Yankton, like it does in the dreaded "Back East."

People work hard here, that's for sure. But they work hard because they want to feel good about themselves. They want to provide for others. They want to contribute. They want to make sure everything is in order and working.  But they're not trying to impress others as much as you sometimes see on the East Coast.

All this is a generalization, of course, based on my first impressions and clouded by my lack of expertise.

But first impressions matter, and I'm sure getting a good one in Yankton.

My Introduction to South Dakota

I'm not really well traveled. In fact, I'd never been west of the Mississippi River. Until today.

I'm writing this from Yankton, South Dakota, where I'm visiting the in laws and other relatives and friends.

We stopped in Vermillion,  South Dakota today on the way
from the Sioux Falls airport to Yankton, where I will spend the week.
Vermillion reminds me a lot of Bristol, Vermont

I've only been in South Dakota for a few hours, but I'm impressed.

Where my hosts see flat, featureless plains, I see a unique beauty. On the drive from the airport in Sioux Falls to Yankton, the landscape was fascinating.

 I didn't have much time to take pictures today, but I will try the rest of the week.

The scenes were beautiful because they were simple.

An isolated tree in a vast cornfield. A church poking up above the plains with a huge expanse of open landscape and nothing else around it.  A crumbling, abandoned farmhouse collapsing slowly and gracefully in a small thicket of trees.   You could see forever, and watch the cloud formations seemingly 100 miles away.

We stopped for lunch on the way to Yankton in the small town of Vermillion, South Dakota. I felt at home there, in large part because its downtown looked a lot like Bristol, Vermont.

There are quirks in South Dakota that I'm not used to in Vermont. There's quite a few small scale casinos and rather shady looking payday loan centers interspersed among the solid, stolid old businesses in sedate small towns across the state.

And my inner fifth grader came out when I saw the bad humor in the name of a Sioux Falls convenience store. It is called "Kum and Go."  I am not making this up.

I left Vermont at the end of a week of record rainfall and flooding that finally broke on Monday. I arrived in South Dakota to the beginning of what promises to be a  week of flooding,  severe storms and a tornado threat. I feel like that guy who always has a raincloud above him.

Yankton seems like the most peaceful community in the world in which to live, even if it has a minimum security federal prison in a former college smack dab in the middle of town.

Even the prison is relaxing. It is gorgeous,  with tree-lined, park like grounds, with prisoners milling about outside, just chilling. The inmates are all white collar or non-violent convicts, so there's little physical threat to the public.

The prison grounds are so beautiful I almost want to commit a crime. Almost.

I'm staying at Jeff's parents' house, which is adjacent to a beautiful golf course. They have a sunroom, which looks out into the course. Jeff's parents say they often get up early and sit in the sunroom, just enjoying the scenery. I can see why.

We probably won't do much out here in Yankton. Let's face it, Yankton is not Manhattan. Heck, it's not even Manhattan, Kansas. But that's the point. Sometimes we need a place that's calm, solid, homey, quiet.

It's been a tumultuous few weeks in Jeff's life, and in my life. We've both been working our butts off. He's been traveling all over the place, working. We lost our beloved dog Bailey a few days ago.  

The friendly quiet of Yankton is going to be the perfect place to recover and recharge.

A Vicarious South Dakota Christmas

As readers of this blog know, on August 26, I had the excellent fortune to marry Jeff Modereger.  I  still  can't get over the fact I was so lucky to meet and marry him,  but that's another story.

The beautifully decorated sunroom in the Modereger
home, Yankton, South Dakota

I'm pleased to report  the marriage is a rousing success. However, like every person in every marriage, certain aspects of wedded life take getting used to, even in the months leading up to the actual marriage.

So it was with me.   Married  couples know you need to plan well ahead with vacation time, so you can celebrate holidays as best you can with your spouse's family.

You know how it works:  Spend maybe a few days with one side of the family, then a few days with the other side of the family, somewhere else in the country

You just have to do the best you can.

Yes, I knew months in advance I was going to become a married guy in August. But did I plan ahead early in the year to schedule the appropriate vacation time around Christmas? Of course not!   My brain hadn't fully processed that I would be married by the end of the year.  Some old habits die hard, I guess.

The result: Jeff is in South Dakota with his family this Christmas Day,  and I'm staying in Vermont to be with my family.

Actually, his family is my family now and vice versa, but you get the idea.

Luckily, the way my mind spins and races and twists, I can use my vivid imagination and "see" what's going on with Jeff and the rest of the  Moderegers/Stengles/Wainscotts in Yankton, South Dakota, even as  I open gifts and toast the holiday with the Sutkoskis in West Rutland, Vermont.

Even more luckily, I've got material to work with.  Jeff has been sending regular updates and news bulletins,  describing how the holiday is going there. Ever the helpful husband, he's even sent pictures.

Jeff, in his professional life,  is a busy, highly regarded theatre set designer. (Don't believe me? Google "Jeff Modereger" and see for yourself.)

With that talent, Jeff is in charge of decorating the Modereger hacienda in Yankton.

His parents have a fantastic sunroom overlooking a very nice golf course in back of their Yankton home. With all those windows and space, Jeff arranged lights and a nice big Christmas tree tin the sunroom. The lights  reflect just perfectly off the windows at night. It's cold in South Dakota, but he makes it look warm.

The best part of the sunroom decorations comes from Jeff's mother, my mother in law. She has a   beautiful and large collection of little buildings as Christmas decorations. Jeff lines the buildings up along shelving by the windows, forming a gorgeous  miniature village that could be Main Street Yankton, South Dakota or Main Street, West Rutland, Vermont, take your pick.

I'm mentally in both towns today anyway.

Just to feel a little more at home, I went to Google images and looked up photos of Yankton,  to get my bearings.  Plus, I'm Facebook friends with some of the Moderegers/Stengles/Wainscotts, so I get clues from their posts.

 In some ways, Yankton looks similar to the Rutland, Vermont area, which I found comforting. Yankton, on the banks of the Missouri River, has nice rolling bluffs and low hills. Bigger hills and mountains surround West Rutland. But both towns have two or three story brick buildings in their little downtowns and sturdy houses with nice yards that suggest rural stability.

One disconcerting Google photo I found of  Yankton shows a pair of menacing tornadoes heading toward Yankton from nearby Nebraska, but I'll let that go.  

Of course I got to meet many of the Moderegers/Stengles/Wainscotts when Jeff and I married in August, so I have a sense of what they're like.

There's some simularities between the South Dakotans and the Sutkoskis. Many members of both families are prone to boisterous bursts of laughter.

So while us Sutkoskis laugh at our pratfalls and crack up at my wildly inept gift wrapping "skills",  I can almost hear the Yankton contingent laughing up a storm, too.

For most of us, it's impossible to physically be with everybody you love on Christmas.  But in your mind and in your heart, you can be with the best, most important people in your life anytime, anywhere.

I'll have my share of Christmas fun today in West Rutland, Vermont.  But part of me will be in Yankton, South Dakota, enjoying the glow and the laughter of the big, warm extended family Jeff brought into my life.

You can't top a Christmas gift like that.