Pharma Bro Shkreli and Shadenfreude: A Match Made In Heaven (Or Hell)

Martin Shkreli under arrest today, inspiring a huge wave
 of schadenfreude. But will he get the last laugh? 

I bet it's fair to say that one of the most searched words on Google today is "Schadenfreude."

"Schadenfreude" refers to the pleasure derived from another person's misfortune, and so many people, including yours truly, have been experiencing intense schadenfreude over the arreset of Martin Shkreli.

Martin Shkreli, the "Pharma Bro" train wreck I've been obsessing about because he raised the price of life saving drugs to sky high levels to make oodles of money, was arrested on fraud charges, according to numerous media reports this morning.

He's the guy who raised the price of a medication for people with HIV and other life threatening illnesses from $13.50 to $750.00. His logic is its his job to make lots of money, and if sick and broke people suffer because of it, too bad.

He's been busy getting reading to inflate prices of other life saving drugs, too.

According to MSN:

"Prosecutors charged him with illegally taking stock from Retrophin, Inc., a biotechnology firm he started in 2011, and using it to pay off debts from unrelated business dealings. He was later ousted from the company, where he'd been chief executive officer, and sued by the board.

In the case that closely tracks that suit, federal prosecutors accused Shkreli of engaging in a complicated shell game after his defunct hedge fund, MSMB Capital Management, lost millions. He is alleged to have made secret payoffs and set up sham consulting arrangements."

Everybody had a HUGE field day with this arrest, especially on social media, because Shkreli is such a vile creature.

Maybe this makes me a bad person, but the news about the criminal charges against Shkreli are making me a very happy man today. I'm in a good mood now. Like a lot of people.

When I Googled "schadenfreude Shkreli" this evening, I got no fewer than 6,250 matches.

Salon collected some of the best Tweets about Shkreli's arrest today, including, from @ohiotimmons3, "On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me a warrant for Martin Shkreli."

@John Fuglesang Tweeted: "Wait, Martin Shkreli in jail? Are the criminals OK?"

Probably not. As long as Shkreli is around, somebody's going to get hurt.

Over at Wired, they tell us that Dean Burnett, known as @garwboy on Twitter, noted, "Government warning: National schadenfreude reserves expected to run dry by the end of the week."

I have no doubt that's true.

Many people are apparently worried about a Wu-Tang Clan album Shkreli recently bought. It's the only one in existence, and he reportedly paid $2 million for it.

Yeah, I don't know why anybody would spend $2 million for the only copy of an album from anybody, but what do I know?

If Shkreli goes to jail, I guess he now has time to enjoy the Wu-Tang album he bought from all the money he's making off the backs of ill people.

This arrest will probably slow down Shkreli's quest to totally inflate the cost of life-saving drugs for other people, but at least it's a start.

Here's how lousy Shkreli is. He told a Forbes health care summit early this month that he screwed up. Did he mean he shouldn't have raised medication prices so much?

Nope. He said he should have raised them more.

Forbes quoted Shkreli thusly: "'My shareholder expect me to make the most profit," Shkreli said, a theme he returned to again and again. 'That's the ugly, dirty truth.'

'I'm going to maximize profits,' Shkreli addes later. 'That's what people (in healthcare) are afraid to say.'"

In other words, the only responsibility of a manufacturer of a life saving medication is to maximize profits. The patients who need it? Fuck 'em. let them die as long as I can make millions.

No wonder people as disparate as Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton hate him.

My dream? That Shkreli gets a long, long inside look living among the "Lights of Dannemora."

As in the really nasty Clinton Correctional Facility in New York.

My dream probably won't come true, though. As The Guardian points out, even when there's wild excesses like those of Shkreli, the big splash of publicity over the arrest will be for naught.

Most CEOs caught with their hands on the cookie jar are not convicted. Even when they are, they get what for them is a slap on the wrist. A fine of a few million dollars, which is really peanuts, and then they can go on ripping people off.

I'm sure several more medically needed people will die to satisfiy Shkreli's greed.

Then it will, unfortunately, become his turn to feel the schadenfreude when the rest of us can't afford the medicine to keep us alive. The medicine that the likes of Shkreli prices out of our reach.

For Those Who Love Instant Karma, This Is For You

In the video in this post, you'll see a guy steal a guy's wallet off a table and run away out into the street.

What happens next will firmly make you believe in the concept of instant karma.

Plus the thief is a total idiot, so there's that.

Watch:

Kansas City Woman Takes Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball Too Far

Here's the Kansas City building after a woman
driving a stolen SUV slammed into it.  

You pop culture fanatics out there are, I'm sure familiar with the Miley Cyrus song "Wrecking Ball."  

Well, a woman in Kansas City decided to do Miley one better by becoming a literal wrecking ball.

According to the Associated Press, a woman driving a stolen SUV, a phone glued to her ear, was being chased by police at speeds of up to 80 mph, when she lost control of the vehicle (Duh!) and slammed into a building, which partly collapsed.

Surveillance video that you'll see at the bottom of this post shows the building falling dramatically in a cloud of dust.

The building stored vintage cars, several of which were damaged or destroyed. One plunged to the ground from the second floor of the building.

Police have so far not identified the human wrecking ball, who we will call Miley II.

Miley II was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries, says the AP.

Here's the surveillance video:

If You Steal A Laptop, Don't Call Customer Service For Help

Recently, Mike Witonis of New Hampshire was puzzled. He'd gotten an e-mail from Apple, thanking him for contacting customer service for a question about his laptop.

If you steal a MacBook like this from someone,
don't call Apple support to ask for help using it.  

Witonis hadn't called Apple customer service. But then he realized why Apple thanked him for his non-existent call.

Witonis had his laptop stolen from his home about a year earlier. He'd given up on it as lost forever.

But then he realized the thief must have called customer service. Apple still had Wintonis' e-mail associated with the laptop, so Apple sent the message to him.

According to WMUR-TV in Manchester, N.H. the whole thing led police to Casey Wentworth, 24, who is accused of burglary. Police said they are puzzled as to why Wentworth held on to the laptop for so long, then tried to call Apple to figure out how to unlock it, apparently so he could use it.

Moral of the story: Sometimes its good that companies keep some data on us, like our email addresses. And some criminals are too stupid to realize this.

Skin Care Product Advertising Totally Freaks Out Innocent People in Airport

So you're sitting in the departure lounge at the airport, waiting for your flight, minding your own business and somebody sits down near you with a newspaper. On the front page of the paper is news of a criminal on the lam. The picture on the accompanying story shows you.

You look up at the TV. CNN or something like that is on. It's showing breaking news of a wanted criminal the police are looking for. The criminal is described as dangerous and unpredictable.

Then the public address system comes on in the airport. Same news. They're looking for a dangerous person and they describe you. Everybody in the terminal turns to nervously look at you. Should they apprehend you? Call the police? What should you do?

All this happened recently in Germany, when nice normal people suddenly found themselves at the center of a manhunt.

This perfectly normal woman, with no criminal
record, suddenly finds herself the subject of a
massive criminal manhunt

Turns out it was a prank from the German skin care company Nivea, to demonstrate how their deodorant protects you in even the most stressful situation.

I don't know. Isn't this taking things too far? Nivea said the people they targeted signed all the necessary releases for the ads and things worked out well and amicable.

But what if there were somebody in the airport that didn't get the joke?  You get some yahoo who thinks he's a hero and whips out his gun and kills the "wanted criminal" that's all over the airport TVs and newspapers.

Or people, and there are some stupid ones out there,  later don't understand that you were the victim of a prank, and not a criminal. Will a few strange people forever think of you as someone who did something very, very wrong?

Or am I just being too paranoid, with no sense of humor. Here's the Nivea ad with the "wanted criminals" in the video below. It's in German, but you can fully understand what's going on.

Two of the Latest, Greatest Stupid Criminals

I got wind of two more stupid criminals today. This is certainly a growth industry isn't it?  An endess supply.

The first guy punched the heck out of his public defender in South Carolina, according to television station WCNC. . I guess the puncher, Lamarcus Williamson, 30, was displeased that he'd just been sentenced to 15 years behind bars. Apparently, Williamson has a pretty long rap sheet. Which just got longer, with that punch. defense attorney.

Larmarcus Williamson, channeling his inner
boxer, seen here lengthening his prison term.

They tacked on another six months to his sentence, and he might face assault charges, which would lengthen his prison term even more. But, I'm sure it felt good in the moment, even if it was that wrong.  I dunno. A minute of feeling good gets you at least six additional months in prison? Not sure that's so hot.

The second guy case is even more stupid, since it wasn't just one moment of idiocy but apparnetly a lifestyle of dumb.

Peter Rosello made a 35 second piece of cinema for YouTube called "Hobo gets NutChecked!!!!"

In it, you see the loser sneak up on an apparently homeless guy and punch him in the balls. That's all over in a few seconds. Then you just have blurry images of the pavement as Rosello runs to his car to get away. It's cinematic history folks.

Or not.

Maybe film school would help.

Of course, it was pretty easy for the police to figure out who Rosello hit, get a statement and figure out Rosello was the guy who did it.  Asked via Facebook why he punched the guy in the nuts, Rosello replied, "it's funnyyyyyyyy"

Rosello really likes his extra exclamation points and letters, doesn't he?

He want on to say he was just screwing around, wants to help the homeless yada yada yada.

Peter Rosello likes punching guys in the nuts, apparently. 

Rosello is the son of one of the Real Housewives of Miami. Oh great.  Maybe we can add a spinoff. "Real Housewives of Miami, or At Least Their Kids, Assault People and Think it's Funnyyyyyyyy"

Meanwhile, his stepfather, Herman Eschevarria said, "It's an unfortunate thing. But it just looks like kids playing. It's not really violent."

No, sucker punching unsuspecting people in the balls is sweet and light and innocent, like a morning kiss. Or something.

The guy who was assaulted isn't amused. He'll press charges, police are investigating and Rosello could be arrested at any time. Arresting officers killed the video star, maybe?