Saturday, May 5, 2012

Climate Change Fight has Gone Cah-RAZEE!!!

It seems every major debate in the world today succumbs to the crazies. So it is with global climate change.

As you might have seen all over the news and blogosphere , a climate change denying think tank, the Heartland Institute, has put out an inspired ad campaign that basically says that anyone who believes that climate change exists is the equivalent to the world's worst mass murderers and terrorists.
The short-lived Heartland Institute ad

You see, people like Ted Kaczzynski who was  the "Unibomber" and Osama bi Laden  believed in global warming. Hitler was a vegetarian, and so are many people who worry about climate change. So therefore, people who think climate change is a threat are really, really, really bad people, according to the Heartland Institute.

According to the Institute: The people who still believe in man-made global warming are mostly on the radical fringe of society. This is why the most prominent advocates of global warming aren't scientists. They are murderers, tyrants, and madmen.


Which means that 95 percent of climate scientists are apparently murderers, tyrants and madmen.

If you use the Heartland Institute's logic, if you have one thing in common with the world's most horrible people, then you are the same as those horrible people. So, presumably, Stalin and most members of the Heartland Institute agree the sun rises in the east.

So, since we're in agreement with Stalin that the sun rises in the east, I'm a mass murderer, and so are the members of the Heartland Institute.

Of course, if that were true, that would solve the problem of global warming. We'd all kill each other, the world would have no people, and global warming would no longer be a worry.

People who believe that most of the world is fairly rational think the Heartland Institute overreached.  The Guardian, which first reported this story, called this "quite possibly one of the most ill-judged poster campaigns in the history of ill-judged poster campaigns."

 The ad was short lived. The Heartland Institute took it down later on Friday, less than twelve hours after they appeared. Officials with the institute said it was just an experiment. Heartland President Joseph Bast said:

“We know that our billboard angered and disappointed many of Heartland’s friends and supporters, but we hope they understand what we were trying to do with this experiment. We do not apologize for running the ad, and we will continue to experiment with ways to communicate the 'realist' message on the climate."

 Oh, I can't WAIT for Heartland's next "experiment."

Meanwhile, S. Matthew Liao, a professor of philosophy and bioethics has his own ideas on how to combat global warming.

Make people smaller. Smaller people consume fewer resources, and would have a lighter impact on the planet, and reduce the climate change.

This was all in an article in The Atlantic in March, where Liao discussed his big but small ideas.

"And so size reduction could be one way to reduce a person's ecological footprint. For instance if you reduce the average U.S. height by just 15cm, you could reduce body mass by 21% for men and 25% for women, with a corresponding reduction in metabolic rates by some 15% to 18%, because less tissue means lower energy and nutrient needs."

He says that his ideas could actually be liberating, not more restrictive.

For instance, he says it makes sense to have smaller families, to reduce impacts that would worsen climate change. One idea is to force parents to limit themselves to two children. But under his scheme, perhaps you could give these parents a choice: Produce two mormal sixe children or three mini-mes, as it were:

"There was a group of doctors in Britain who recently advocated a two-child maximum. But at the end of the day those are crude prescriptions---what we really care about is some kind of fixed allocation of greenhouse gas emissions per family. If that's the case, given certain fixed allocations of greenhouse gas emissions, human engineering could give families the choice between two medium sized children, or three small sized children. From our perspective that would be more liberty enhancing than a policy that says "you can only have one or two children." 


 I don't know how well this will fly. Are you going to make people create smaller children by force of law, or is it voluntary?  Will there be unintended consequences to all these small people?  And how small do we make them? Just short enough to be lousy basketball players, or tiny, like my 35-pound cocker spaniel? Will there be size police arresting people who are too big, or parents of children who are too big?  Will we all be required to gather around and sing the Elton John song "Tiny Dancer?"

So, given the Heartland Institute's bad ad, and the tiny person idea, I think we all need to keep thinking to figure out what to do with global climate change.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Breaking News of the Day.

Oh. So homicide victims tend to be shy?

Push Button for Drama

What would you do if you were walking down the street, minding your own business, and encounted a big red button on a table, with a sign that says "Push Button for Drama?"

A few people in a Belgian town were in this situation. They pushed it, and of course hilarity ensued.

The button and the accompanying video was just a publicity stunt for a new television network in Europe, but it's still fun enough to warrant a show.  I'm not sure which is more fun: The ridiculousness of the situation unfolding in the square or the nonplussed reaction from the button pushers and bystanders.

Gve it a watch and you be the judge:

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Another Month of Fails

Several producers put out YouTube videos each month highlighting the fails from the previous month. As per my tradition most months, I grab one of them and present them to you.

It's always fun to see how many ways people find to be stupid. It's almost as if people sit around and think about ways they can hurt themselves that have never been done before. At least by themselves.

I bet health insurers really hate, hate these people and especially these videos, because they surely give people ideas.

Meanwhile, enjoy this month's installment, below. The video offers proof that nobody how stupid you might have been in the past month, plenty of people were even more stupid. Time to inflate your sense of self worth:


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Enjoy Grandmas Enjoying Kardashian Sex Tape

Oh, my dirty little mind! A seriously off color video is going viral and I have to share it with you.

Some of you particularly rude people out there might have seen a sex tape involving Kim Kardashian that came out, so to speak, in 2007.

Well, now there's another video of three ladies of a certain age who found the infamous Kardashian video. And we get to watch them watch it! Don't worry, you don't get a view of Kardashian and her um, stud.

You'll see it, but my favorite comments from the ladies in the video are: "Oh my God! look at it!
And "The end is purple!" and finally, "What's taking him so long? He's so young!"

However, the video of the grannies is seriously off color, as I said, and there's some naughty language involved. So this is NSFW and not for the kiddies. Be forwarned, but watch and laugh. I really want to invite these ladies who lunch to my place for lunch. I bet we'd have a grand time.



Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Gravy Wrestler, Monkey Wrench, Sex and Injuries

Today's nominee for the strangest, and most overly detailed newspaper headline of the week comes from the Daily Mail of London: "Gravy Wrestling Model Suffers Horrific Facial Injuries After Being Hit With Monkey Wrench When She Interrupts a Friend Having Sex."
 Gravy wrestler Elisa Sampson, right,
victorious in happier times.

The accompanying article doesn't add too much to the headline, other than the fact there appeared to be drinking involved.   NOOO!!

There is never an explanation as to why the monkey wrench was so handy. I've never heard of a monkey wrench enhancing sexual experiences before, if that's what was going on. Then again, I've led a pretty sheltered life.

The wrestler in question, Elisa Sampson, had walked in on who, until that point was her best friend, screwing around with a guy, the wrestler was annoyed and things devolved from there. Sampson's friend ended up bashing her in the face with the wrench.

Apparently, the gravy wrestling is an annual event that raises money for charity. Apparently, the gravy wrestling is not a full time gig. She's also a Web designer. She has also largely recovered from her injuries, according to other published reports. So that's good news.

That's the problem with this kind of story. They never give enough detail. To me, there is no such thing as TMI. Well, almost no such thing as TMI.

I do think it's time that sex education classes include lessons on avoiding monkey wrenches during intercourse. We all appreciate safe sex.

Mystery: Why They Sunbathe in Roads in Pa.

It's been all over the news: Two 13 year old girls were run over by a car while they sunbathed on a rural road in Beaver County, Pa. over the weekend.

Now, I of course hope the girls make a quick and full recovery, but the deep mystery in this case is: Why were they sunbathing on the road?

None of the news reports explain why they weren't on a beach, a lawn, a deck, by a pool, anything but a road, even if the road had very little traffic.

To me, that's the most important question in this story, once it was established that the girls will recover and the guy who hit them didn't do it intentionally and wasn't drunk.

There's a lot of stories on line about this incident, but nothing on why the girls were there. Readers, have you heard anything?

Meanwhile, if you want to sunbathe, which isn't a good idea in the first place given the risk of skin cancer, please try to avoid doing so on roads. Or the railroad tracks. Or an airport runway. Just to be safe.