Fake SNL Macy's Ad Nails What We Hate About Christmas, Especially When There's Children

Things aren't nearly this happy in a fake Macy's Christmas ad
from Saturday Night Live that gives us a dose of reality in the
midst of all the fake Christmas cheer. 

I'm a bah hum-bug kinda guy during the Christmas season, so I really get irritated by those chirpy-voiced ads on TV from those retailers announcing their holiday sales specials.

Most of the narrators sound like they are offering a sippy cup to their toddlers.

I don't know why they're offering me things in that tone of voice. I'm not a toddler and I like to think I'm more mature, smarter and more experienced than a toddler.

But who knows?

Now, Saturday Night Live hasn't been very great this year, but this week, they did a fake commercial from Macy's that is just perfect.

The sippy cup voiced actress touts the latest clothing offerings from the retailer. The first few seconds of the video offer the standard offerings for the adults. You'd easily mistake it for a real Macy's Christmas ad.

Then the bulk of the rest of the ad gets into those cute childrens' outfits that will ultimately be worn by not-so-cute children. And their exasperated parents have to deal with it. Which causes all kinds of stress, such as public embarrassment, hatred toward kids and marital discord, all things that are NOT supposed to happen at Christmas, according to the marketers.

Sample ad copy from this video, which is so like real life:

"All month long, we're taking 25% off boys' merino wool sweaters that won't fit over his head," the sippy cup narrator states.  The video shows a fed-up dad trying to put the sweater on his squirmy young son. "If you'd stop squirming, it would be on already!," the blandly handsome dad hisses at the kid.

As we all know, the stress of Christmas brings all these on more than any other time of year. So yeah, bah-humbug!

I think the video, at least in one sense, brings us the true feeling of Christmas, or at least the aspect of it in which society demands that everything be perfect and happy, but we can't quite live up to reality.

I think a lot of people agree. The video had 4.3 million views within less than 48 hours of when it was posted.

It's a great video for everybody. But I imagine it's fantastic for parents of young children. Watch and enjoy and feel the catharsis:

Everybody Is Flushing Trump's Toilet Talk Down The Um, Toilet

I'm going to go against my better judgement here and talk about toilets.

Donald Trump made the same mistake when he discussed this plumbing feature last week.  It's old news now, but worth revisiting.

To wit, he said as Vox and just about everybody else reported:

"'People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times as opposed to once. They end up using more water,' Trump said, complaining that water flow in other fixtures has slowed to a trickle. 'You can't wash your hands practically, there's so little water comes out of the faucet, and the end result is you leave the faucet on and it takes you much longer to wash your hands, you end up using the same amount of water.'"

Let's set aside for a moment that you'd think the president has bigger things to worry about than low-flow toilets.  I guess he's against regulations that make toilets use less water.  Maybe he poops a lot more than you and me.  Some people call him a shithead, so there's that.

Although early models of low flow toilets did seem problematic to us non-shitheads, as far as I'm concerned they fixed the problem.

So if I, and I presume most people need just one flush per poop, what is Trump pooping that requires 15 flushes to go away?  I really don't want to think about it, but still.

As usual, Twitter came to the rescue with this crisis.

One of my favorite tweets in response to all this was the following:

Susan Stone @SusanStone12

Replying to @chrislhayes

To be fair to the POTUS, it's hard to get the whole Constitution and Bill of Rights down in one flush.

 Referencing Trump's recent mysterious Saturday trip to the Walter Reed Medical Center: 

Anthony Chergosky@achergosky

Replying to @atrupar

Now we know why he went to Walter Reed

Maybe some corruption is involved? 

Eric Ranschau @eranschau

Replying to @chrislhayes

Christ… Was he trying to flush his tax returns?

And finally, here's a good diagnosis: 

The Artful Roger. Diamond of many Facets.@Rojodi

Replying to @chrislhayes

Wow! Proof he's full of sh*t!

Don't Let Your Dog Drive. You'll Get Dizzy

A man in the foreground tries to figure out what to do as a dog in the
car drives backwards in circles around a Florida cup-de-sac.
Police eventually stopped the car, and the dog, named Max,
was miraculously not charged with reckless driving. 

I do love this report from Florida that came out last month.

A dog decided to go for a drive.  Maybe the dog wanted to be a little mavericky, too.

A Port St. Lucie man arrived home one day and left his dog Max temporarily the car while he ran into the house for a minute.

Police said:

"The dog named Max accidentally hit the shifter into reverse causing the car to circle the cul-de-sac, leaving the owner locked out of the car.....As the car circled the cup-de-sac, it struck and damaged a mailbox."

I guess police in Port St. Lucie are pretty mellow and understanding.  They entered the code on the key pad of the door and managed to stop the car.

Max, who was not wearing a seat belt, wasn't hurt and wasn't issued a citation, despite the obvious dangerous driving and lack of a seat belt. I guess dogs get a pass, which I can understan.

 Here's a video from Good Morning America:

Bad 1970s Disco Song Has Even Worse Dancing, But It's Hilarious

The three members of the Silver Convention struggling to get through
their dance moves in their song, "Fly, Robin Fly" back in
the 1970s. I'd have my back to the audience too because I dance
as badly as they do. But they had spunk! 

There was a disco song in 1975 called "Fly, Robin, Fly," which was about as lightweight and inconsequential as you can get.

The song was stupid, and had nothing to it, but it was rather catchy regardless, so it was a hit.  (It doesn't take much, sometimes).

This song was done in the days before so-called official videos, but people did make music videos anyway.

"Fly, Robin, Fly" was performed by three hapless women called Silver Convention. As you can see in the video below their dance skills were, um.....let's just say they could have used a little more practice.

Especially since the dance moves weren't exactly of the calibre you might find on "So You Think You Can Dance."

I especially like the woman on the left, who seems to keep glancing over at her cohorts to confirm whether she was making the right moves, or whether she was out of step. She needn't have. They were all way off. And they often looked confused, which adds to the fun. They certainly would have been buzzed off of "American's Got Talent" if it existed in those days.

But they probably wouldn't have been kicked off "The Gong Show," which DID exist in that era, so there's that

And the attempt at flinging around their hair was cool, too.  Here's the video, just for laughs:

Mr. Rogers' Widow Gets The Best Surprise On A Hospital Visit

Newborns at a Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania childrens'
hospital got dressed up like Mr. Rogers on
World Kindness Day back in November

OK, time for a little sweetness.

Back in November, the widow of Mr. Rogers was invited to visit a Pittsburgh womens' hospital as part of World Kindness Day.

Mr. Rogers was among the kindest people the world has even know, so the visit seemed appropriate.

Mrs. Rogers was led into the nursery, where newborns relaxed and recovered after entering this world.  What Mrs. Rogers found hand to be quite familiar to her, and would make us all go "Awwwwwww."

All the newborn  were dressed in red cardigans, little ties, comfortable pants and sneakers.  I guess that was the perfect way to dress for Pittsburgh's newest neighbors.

As anyone who knows and loves Mr. Rogers knows, that's how he was dressed as he greeted us at each episode, when it was always a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

The mom of one of the newborns said she watched Mr. Rogers as a kid and his message of kindness and acceptance stuck with her.

She and her husband said those are the values they want to instill in their newborn daughter. I guess Mr. Rogers' legacy lives on, huh?

Here's a nice news clip of the event from CBS Pittsburgh:

Time To Revive The Blog!!

I blow off steam by gardening and writing silly things like this blog
The willow tree on my property decided to blow off steam on
November 1 by falling over and crushing my husband's Jeep.
We all have our ways, dont we?

I've had a long hiatus from this here blog thingy because I just got too busy. I know that sounds like an excuse, and it is, but there you go.  Hard to believe the last post here was on July 4.

It's been an active few months, both with work and lots of stuff to do outside of work.  It involves lots of garden work, lots of extra time spent at my other job as we went through a systems upgrade, fun things like Jeff's retirement, parties to honor that and a hot air balloon trip.  

There were a few minor disasters along the way, like a storm a few weeks back that toppled my beloved willow tree onto Jeff's Jeep, crushing that vehicle beyond repair. The same storm cut off electrical and cable service, and heat to our house, briefly, so there's that.

Now that winter has set in early, it's time to jump in the saddle again. I don't know where this will lead, and frankly, I do this blog just as a release, because I like to write, even if I'm sometimes not good at it. And to vent. And to expose both really good and really bad ideas to whoever reads this.

Good ideas need to be celebrated, and bad ideas need to see the light of day so that maybe people won't repeat them.  I know that humans have an unlimited capacity to be dumb, so I am a bit of a pollyanna when it comes to trying to shame people into stop being stupid. Besides, I'm perfectly capable of being totally idiotic, too. That's life, I guess.

Sometimes, while watching the news over the past few months while I was blowing off this blog, I sort of missed blowing off steam here in this blog thingy. But for most of my hiatus, the weather was warm and pleasant. I have lots of gardens to enjoy. So I would always cool off, both physically and mentally, among the flowers, plants, shrubs and other plants I'm lucky enough to have on my property.

Sometimes, when I am writing, I can do a quick throwaway piece that just shows off a social media meme, a funny video, or one of the zillions of quirky people this good Earth holds. Sometimes, when I have the time, especially on a cold winter day when all I want to do is hibernate inside, I do a deeper dive, which has its own pleasures.

I'm not a great writer. My brain is weird, though, which is actually a benefit.  I do hope some people get a bit of pleasure, or at least some type of emotion when I write something and you see it, like here.  If not, thanks for indulging me and allowing me to blow off steam.

"New" Freddie Mercury Song Is Out; Song Discovered From 1985

Freddie Mercury belts out "Time Waits For No One" in a
previously unreleased song and video. Proves why he
was such a vocal powerhouse. 

The great Freddie Mercury passed away in 1991 but I, along with millions of other people, can't get enough of him.

Believe it or not, there's a "new" tune out there by Freddie Mercury called "Time Waits For No One." and it is a gem.  According to USA Today, singer and producer Dave Cark recorded Mercury performing a version of the song called "Time" for a sci-fi rock musical.

The song had all kinds of production, some would save over production, with big percussions ad all kinds of backup vocals. That song was released and peaked at number 32 on the UK music charts in 1985.

However, Clark had Mercury record a different version of the song accompanied only by piano. That's what's being released now as "Time Waits For No One."

Clark re-discovered "Time Waits For No One" last year, but decided to wait to release it.  He'd been looking for the master and video for more than a decade, but searches of recording studio failed to turn the up, says NPR.  Then, miraculously they were found in 2017.

By then, the Mercury biopic "Bohemian Rhapsody" was coming out, and Clark didn't want to compete with that, reports USA Today. 

So he waited to release it

As you can see and hear in the video below, you don't need any big production values when it comes to Mercury. Just let him sing. You can also see is familiar, unique mannerisms as he performs.

And what a performance!

Here's the song and video: