Thursday, May 31, 2012

Another Month of Fails

As I do at the end of almost every month, I'll pass along a compilation video of some epic fails of the previous month. In May, as is often the case, most of the failures involved poor decisions regarding bikes, motorcycles, skateboards, concrete and water.

The purpose of the video is to make you feel better. After all, I bet you didn't make mistakes as painful or stupid as the people in the video. See? I bet you feel better already.


Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Vermont is Tornado Alley?

Yesterday, here in Vermont, we had all kinds of tornado watches and warnings, as if this were Kansas or some damn place.

Auntie Em! Auntie Em!
A tree fell on this guy's house during a
severe thunderstorm in Milton, Vt.
Tuesday. One branch got stuck on the
home's nice turret

So far, there have been no confirmed reports of Vermont tornadoes, but there was plenty of hail, wind damage, flash floods, fires caused by lightning and other mayhem, as I reported today in the Burlington Free Press.

Yes, I know stormy weather is a pain in the ass for a lot of people, but as regular readers know, I do love big storms. I got to chase a few of them yesterday.

I missed out on a Midwest-style supercell thunderstorm that went across the northern part of the state. The storm started hinting that it wanted to drop a tornado when it was a couple miles north of my St. Albans, Vermont house. It kept wanting to drop a twister as it traveled 50 miles toward the northeastern part of the state, but it didn't quite produce a tornado. Just as well.

I did get to enjoy a severe thunderstorm in the town of Milton, Vermont, as the two videos below show.

In the first one, I love the dude that comes in at around 2:18 nonchalantly walking in the swirling gusts and drowing lane. The second video is especially amateurish as you get a lovely view of my truck dashboard as I moved out of a driveway into a parking lot to allow other motorists to get off the road.

They wanted out because they couldn't see where they were driving in the torrent. Can't blame 'em


  

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Blow Against Anti-Gay Bullying

From Buzzfeed, this note. It supposedly appeared on a school bulletin board, but it can't be confirmed, since they didn't even mention which school.

Still, if it's legit, it's an advance:

Monday, May 28, 2012

Church Sign of the Day: Texting for Jesus

Floating on the Internet thingy here: This church sign that says it all. Praise Jesus!





Sunday, May 27, 2012

A Bartender To Sober Up Any Drunk

Thank goodness for the worldwide franchise of "... Got Talent." Britain's Got Talent. Korea's Got Talent. America's Got Talent.  Hell, there's probably Neptune's Got Talent"

The reason I'm so happy about all this is the shows from all over give us an endless supply of videos of amazing performers  doing stuff most of us have never dreamed of.  A couple weeks ago I showed you the winner of Britain's Got Talent, a woman and her amazingly talented dog named Pudsey

Today, we go to Ukraine's Got Talent. And they really do, I've highlighted Ukraine's Got Talented performers before. Like sand artist Kseniya Simonova, with her incredibly moving sand art act. Worth watching again, by the way, by clicking on this sentence. 

We have a bartender, who to Western English speakers has the unfortunate name Alexander Shitfanov. But you really want this guy to be your bartender. You might never get your drink, but you won't care. Watch and be amazed:

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Anderson Cooper Interviews All the Weirdos

CNN's Anderson Cooper seems to be on a roll this week, having a tiff with what the Guinesss Book of World Records says is the person with the most plastic surgeries under her belt. And, he interviewed one of the most clueless and nastiest people I've ever seen at a bigoted church in South Carolina. That interview is unintentionally hilarious.

That's one of the joys of journalism, take it from me. You do get to meet the most, um, interesting people. Actually, some are fascinating. But as Cooper saw this week, some are dreadful. He even called the plastic surgery woman "dreadful." To her face. Her plastic, robotic, stiff, artificial face.

The woman, Sarah Burge, is known as the Human Barbie. Since we're talking about looks, here, frankly the plastic Barbie doll, you know, Ken's beau, is prettier.

Anyway,  Cooper's not given to histrionics, but he did seem offended when Human Barbie said she was encouraging her young daughters to go down the path toward Perfection in Plastic Surgery and also thought pole dancing would be a pleasant career for the young 'un.

Cooper later said it was his mistake for inviting Human Barbie on the show. I'll say.

Anyway, watch the clip. He proves you can be devastating by not raising your voice. Love it:




Haven't you always wanted to tell a dreadful person to their face that they are dreadful?

You've got to love Cooper. His style is to keep asking basic, logical questions of people who have no concept of logic. Or thought. Or introspection.  There's no better example than his little interview with a member of that church in South Carolina that I wrote about the other day. You know, where the "pastor" thought it's a nifty idea to put all gay people in concentration camps until they die away.

Watch the woman get totally flummuxed by Cooper's simple questions.

To get your laugh of the day, watch it unti the very end. Cooper, ever the gentleman, thanks the woman for discussing a difficult topic. (Yeah, right!) Her response is precious, and laugh out loud funny, but the whole thing is cringe-worthy hysterical, as she's so out of her league, and frankly, not very bright:




Luckily, in my work as a Vermont journalist, I almost never encounter dreadful people like Cooper did this week. But his work does offer an instructive lesson on how to  handle the World's Dreadful Community.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Danger Dogs: Corgi Blows Up Kitchen

Most of us can rely on our dogs to attack the things that are threatening us. Or at least the things the pups think are threatening us. And so what if there's collateral damage. Trust me, there's always collateral damage.

The other night, a big ugly June bug got into the house. It was Jackson the cocker spaniel to the rescue! After a late night round of thumping growling, upended knick knacks, near disasters with lamps and what had to be the world's most durable window screen that didn't tear,  the June bug was dead.

Jackson saved us!

This wasn't nearly as harrowing as a corgi's battle with kitchen cleaning supplies, news of which turned up on this Internet thingy in the past few days.

This became public when someone started a Web series on dogs that have a preoccupation with attacking strange things. The debut video certainly landed with a bang, thanks to the corgi.

As you can see in the video, below, Yogi the corgi goes after the cleaning products as soon as his human companion opens the cupboard doors under the sink.

The corgi went to work, you betcha, tearing into stuff and finally biting down hard on a big can of black spray paint. Said paint ended up all over the kitchen, the human, the corgi.

While the nice young lady took the corgi into the bathroom to remove the paint, the spilled cleaning chemicals reacted with each other and the stove pilot light. Watch in the video the beautiful flashy boom of the stuff exploding. Thrill to the sound of the smoke alarm going off.



Luckily the fire was put out without too much damage to the apartment, or the humans who live there. Yogi the corgi was cleaned up and seems none the worse for wear.

You can watch a follow up video here of the chagrined owner and the news that everything is recovering. Phew!

My Jackson so far hasn't taken a hankering to cleaning supplies and spray paint, but just to be on the safe side, I'll keep him away from this stuff. Maybe I'll just feed Jackson June bugs