Maybe Because I'm Polish, But This Christmas Ad Really Hits Me

This man in a Polish Christmas ad really REALLY
wants to learn English. Find out why. 

Christmas is the season for holiday ads that make you weep, and this one fits the bill.

Here, we have an elderly gentleman who, at the beginning of the ad at least, does not speak English.

But he's determined to learn, dammit. He's got a VERY important person to meet, and that person speaks English, not the Polish our gentleman speaks.

In the ad for Allegro, basically the Polish version of Amazon or Ebay. the man receives some learning material to help him learn English. Fortunately, our English As A Second Language learner is an enthusiastic student.

Even if that means plastering everything in his house, including his dog, with Post It notes labeling everything in English. He even converses with his rubber ducky in the bathtub to make sure he master the English language perfectly.

Spoiler alert: Our eldery Polish gentleman's meeting with the Very Important Person Who Speaks English seems to go well.

H/T my sister Lynn for this find. Here's the video, which is well worth the watch:  Note, there's a surprising moment of NSFW language part way through.

Here's Why People Have Trouble Figuring Out The English Language

This guy struggles with spelling and grammar,
but hey, English is a difficult language.  

Here's an experiment for you-- hat tip from BoingBoing and Into the Shadows:

Put the word "only" between any two words in this sentence: "She told him that she loved him."

No matter where you put the word "only," the meaning of the sentence totally changes. And you wonder why people trying to learn English mangle their meaning so badly when they attempt to speak it?

This kind of situation recalls my other rants about English. Why can we have sunny days but not moony nights? Why aren't butterflies called flutter by? After all, that's what they do.

We can become overwhelmed or underwhelmed, but nobody is ever just whelmed.

It can get warmer and colder, but not damper or humider. We have the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh day of the month, for example, but not the twoth or threeth. Why?

I liked my father's attitude. When he ran a tavern years ago, he put up an intentionally incorrect sign that warned patrons about the dress code: "No bear feat" said the sign.

All this is why I don't understand rabid members of the grammar police. Yes, you should make an effort to use the English language and to write properly to be understood, but accidentally using "their" instead of "they're" in a hastily written email is not cause for the death penalty.

Oh, sure, I ridicule some of the bigger offenders, too, but I ignore small "word crimes."  You still have to laugh at angry protestors who called President Obama a "Half Breed Muslin" or another placard that read "Remember: Descent is the highest form of patriotic."  (sic)

Who knew the President was a fabric and you have to go down hill to be patriotic, not to mention grammatically incorrect?

I also liked the sign, "Repeel Congress." Yeah, it would be fun to peel that group.

Here's my answer to the word police. I'm going to lighten the mood by giving you Weird Al Yankovic's "Blurred Lines" parody, "Word Crimes"

Enjoy!

English Language School Teacher Fired Over Blog About Homophones Because His Boss Thinks Homophones Are Totally Gay

This guy's language school blog
post about homophones got him fired. 

The English language can be tricky for those trying to learn it.  

There was a guy named Tim Torkildson at the Nomen Global Language Center who wrote a helpful blog post about homophones, which are words that sound the same but have completely different meanings.

Think "peal" and "peel" or "flour" and "flower."

Here's the "problem": The word "homophone" has "homo" in it. Torkildson's boss, Clarke Woodger, fired him, because the subject of homophones is just so gay.

Paul Rolly, writing in the Salt Lake Tribune, reported that Woodger complained that because of the blog, "now our school is going to be associated with homosexuality."

Actually, it wouldn't have, had Woodger not been so homophobic that any word with the word "homo" in it is totally gay.  

Um, can you have words that have a same-sex attraction toward each other?  

As Rolly reports:  "(Torkildson) knew the 'homo' part of the word could be politically charged, but he thought the explanation of that quirky part of the English language would be educational."

Boy, was it ever! I had no idea I should avoid words with the word "homo" in it, like "homosapien" or "homogenize" because they're so gay.

Torkildson said he wanted to teach the concept of homophones because such words are confusing to someone whose native language doesn't have that feature, Rolly reports.

However, Woodger said that most of his language school's students are at a basic level of English proficiency and are not ready to learn complex concepts like homophones.

This whole thing could get worse, though, if you consider another word for homophone is homonym.

Yep, as I said, the English language is just so queer.