Dramatic Reading Of Kanye West Tweets Is Theatrical Magic

Kanye West is an avid Tweeter and he has a wealth of famous tweets.

Humility isn't necessarily one of his stronger suits, which makes the tweets all the more fun.

What's more fun is when, at the Vanity Fair party following the Oscars, a reporter there asked famous actors and other celebrities to do dramatic readings of Kanye West tweets.

The result is some wonderful faux dramatic moments, that who knows? Maybe they will result in a future major motion picture. One that might be an Oscar winner.

You never know! Watch.

Zendaya/Rancic: TV Host Demonstrates How To Make A Proper Apology. Others Could Learn...

A Fashion Police host apologized
to Zendaya for an offensive comment about
her dreadlock hair style at the Oscars.  

Very often, celebrities, politicians, public figures and other people in the news say something stupid, and the Internet and media pile on.

The well-worn trajectory has the people who make the dumb comments digging in, then apologizing.

But you can tell the apologies from most of these people are done just for PR, and the wording of these mea culpas betray a total lack of sincerity.

"I'm sorry if I offend so and so....."

No, you DID offend them. Even if you didn't mean to offend them, you did.

So, it was refreshing to hear the way Fashion Police co-host Giuliana Rancic apologized for making a racist-sounding remark about the actress Zendaya's hair.

First let's get to the offending comment from Rancic. She said about Zendaya's hair style at the Oscars, which was a nice dreadlock do:  "I feel that it smells of patchouli oil, or weed. Yeah, maybe weed."

Fashion Police, is of course, famous for its snarky comments on the way celebrities appear in public, especially their style, or lack thereof (depending upon your opinion.)

Though Fashion Police is a frivolous show and what's said there is certainly not important, Rancic's remarks, pardon the pun, reeked of possible racism.

Zendaya responded to the insult with maturity and class, but also with needed outspokenness:

"To say that an 18 year old young woman with locs must smell of patchouli oil or "weed" is not only a large stereotype but outrageously offensive....... There is already harsh criticism of African American hair in society without the help of ignorant people who chose to judge others based on the curl of their hair. 

My wearing my hair in locs on an Oscar red carpet was to showcase them in a positive light, to remind people of color that our hair is good enough. To me, locs are a symbol of strength and beauty, almost like a lion's mane."

Fashion Police co-host Kelly Osbourne was offended enough by Rancic's comments that she threatened to leave the show.

Clearly, Rancic had to apologize. So she did. Thankfully, she got it right.

In her on air apology, Rancic began:

"I'd really like to address something that is weighing very heavy on my hears. I want to apologize for a comment I made on last night's Fashion Police about Zendaya's hair. Now, as you know, Fashion Police is a show that pokes fun at celebrities in good spirit, but I do understand that something I said last night did cross a line.

I just want everyone to know I didn't intend to hurt anybody. But I've learned it is not my intent that matters; it's the result. And the result is that people are offended, including Zendaya, and that's not OK."

Lets stop here and analyze the statement for a moment. I'm so glad Rancic didn't say, "I'm sorry if I offended anyone. She knows she offended people, so she says straight up that she did, even if that wasn't her intent. Rancic says she crossed a line, and she used the word "learn" to make clear that she had to educate herself on what she did wrong.

Rancic goes on:

"Therefore, I want to say to Zendaya and to anyone else out there that I have hurt that I am so, so, sincerely sorry. This really has been a learning experience for me. I've learned a lot today, and this incident has taught me to be a lot more aware of cliches and stereotypes...how much damage they can do, and that I am responsible, as we all are, to not perpetuate them further. Thank you for listening."

Again, Rancic gets it right. She doesn't say "if I hurt anybody." She acknowledges that she did hurt people, no ifs ands or buts. Again, she talks about how she learned from this, and more importantly what she's learned from this, so she won't do it again.   She also urges others to not make the same mistake she did. Kind of paying it forward.

For the record, Zandaya said she accepts Rancic's apology. And Osbourne said she's glad Rancic apologized and that Zandaya accepted it. Crisis averted.

In the grand scheme of things, a host of a celebrity show saying something rude and crass about another celebrity isn't going to make the world come crashing down.

But more powerful people, the ones with enough mojo to make the world come crashing down, should learn from Rancic.

Rancic might be a star on a celebrity fashion show, but people who should know better, who at least arguably are in positions more powerful than the people on The Fashion Police.

To cite just one example, it makes me think of Rudy Guiliani and his ridiculous "Obama doesn't love America" comment.

Giuliani just couldn't admit he said something over the top. That it was wrong and insulting. It's perfectly legitimate to criticize the president and his decisions, but how does the wild accusation that Obama doesn't "Love America" help.

Instead of at least saying he expressed himself wrong, he did some verbal somersaults, saying he didn't intent to question President Obama's motives or "the content of his heart."

But Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. You didn't acknowledge that you overstepped.

Oh well, he's kind of irrelevant anyway. We can be thankful Rudy isn't a host on Fashion Police.

For the record, here's a video of Rancic's on-air apology:

Just Because It's Friday, Celebrities Read Mean Tweets

I might have run something like this before, but Jimmy Kimmel has a fun happy of getting famous people to read mean Tweets about themselves as written by the legions of trolls out there.

Glad to see people not taking the idiot trolls seriously:

Loving Beyonce Because She Does the Diva Thing the Right Way

Beyonce yesterday answered the critics who complained that she sort of lip synced the National Anthem at the Obama Inaugural a couple weeks back.

She's going to perform in the Super Bowl, and she was at one of those dog and pony show press conferences that lead up to the Big Game.

There she was, looking splendid and glowing like a good diva does, in a stunning white mini dress and flowing brown hair.

She explained, as many professionals already have, that performers typically sing along with a recorded track of themselves during live shows under iffy conditions, like during the cold, outdoor inaugural.

Of course, that she sang along to a track essentially lip syncing last time, does she have the chops to really sing, with no help.

She decided to answer that question at the press conference by singing the Star Spangled Banner a capella for the assembled scribes at the presser.

Well, she nailed it, doing a better job than at the inaugural. And like the best divas anywhere, she finished her command performance, looked at the reporters with a confident smile and said, "Any questions?"

Perfect. See for yourself with this clip from YouTube.

I Love the Goth Opera Singer

When I watched "America's Got Talent" Tuesday night, I knew as soon as I saw it that Andrew De Leon's performance would instantly become a viral hit on this here Internet thingy.

Sure enough, he's all over the place. The show was still in its audition mode this week, and they saved De Leon for the end of the broadcast, because he had the most dramatic effect. (AGT loves its kickers!)

Anyway, De Leon, 19, is a classic goth, channeling Marilyn Manson with his black clothes, black eye makeup and weird contact lenses. Hey, fine. everybody's got their style. He's cool.

He announced he was going to sing, so I figured it would be some dark feedbacky grunge thing.  You knew he would be good, since it was the end of the show and they wanted people to leave happy, despite De Leon's protestations that he never sang in front of anybody, even his own parents.

He belted out a beautiful opera rendition, to create the classic "don't judge the book by the cover"  moment. He's already being called the Goth Susan Boyle. (Boyle is the famous singer who appeared as the frumpy, awkward middle aged woman a few years ago on "Britain's Got Talent" who wowed the world and went on to fame and fortune. )

AGT is a sucker for these surprising moments, but I'm a sucker who loves to watch them. The seven minute video is worth watching, for sure, so do so here. More commentary below the video:



Somehow I doubt the story that De Leon's parents never heard him sing. How could they not know what he was up to?  When he was practicing his singing, and he had to practice A LOT to be that good, that makes noise. Much more noise than the negative things that some youths do in secret, like drugs or unprotected sex,

But that doesn't matter. He clearly has some self esteem issues, because he kept saying he wasn't good at anything and is an outcast.  "I'm just so used to being rejected and I'm not really good at anything," he said.

 I don't know De Leon, obviously, but he seems like a nice enough kid. And as judge Howie Mandel said, he is a great singer. So I think it's safe to say we all respectfully disagree with De Leon's contention that he's not good at anything.

He might not win AGT this season, but so what? He certainly has a lot of people's attention, and I'm sure talent scouts and record company executives are taking notice, writing memos, salivating.

In fact, I think he won't win, if AGT wants to vary its story line. The 2011 AGT winner, Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. was in the same boat as De Leon. He was a carwash employee from West Virgina who looked a bit disheveled, but wowed everyone with his Sinatra-like crooning. The unlikely man conquers the unlikely.

Then again, a lot of the influence of who wins depends on audience votes, so De Leon might go all the way.

I always wonder what happens to people like this when lightning strikes, as has happened to De Leon. Susan Boyle seems to be doing OK.

I worry though. I wish De Leon all the success in the world, he deserves it. But, I know I'm being too patronizing and paternalistic here, I  hope the success that comes to him doesn't somehow crush him.

He's got a hurricane coming at him. Everybody will want a piece of him. That's the negative way of putting. The positive way of putting it is he's going to gain a helluva a lot of fans.

De Leon will either ride the hurricane out and conquer it, or it will drown him. Let's just cheer him on, so he rides the happy storm out.

$5,300 For A Snotty Tissue?

For sale: A 2005 Chrysler 300C, only about 19,000 miles on the odometer. Kelley Blue Book says it's worth about $14,300. Asking price $1 million.

Barack Obama once owned the car. So the "Obamacar" can sell for a ridiculous amount, says its current owner Tim O'Boyle.

Is this car worth $1 million to you?

So far, no takers, and some experts say the Chrysler will "only" fetch maybe $100,000.

This got me thinking about the sky high prices people will pay for weird things that had the honor of being touched by celebrities. I guess that makes them magical.

Some examples:
In 2008, Jay Leno got Scarlett Johansson to blow her nose into a piece of tissue. The snotty tissue later sold for $5,300. I hope the person who bought it got a nasty cold.

A piece of gum that Britney Spears once gnawed on fetched $4,000.  Some French toast that Justin Timberlake couldn't finish eating was purchased for $3,154. I wonder if the French toast was worth more once it really started to rot.

Justin Bieber once sold a piece of his hair for $40,668, but at least the proceeds went to a good cause: Rehabilitating animals.

Old-timey celebrity detritus also sells for big money. A battered hat once worn by John Wayne sold for $119,500. A chest X-ray performed on Marilyn Monroe in the 1950s costs its buyer $45,000.

I can't find a clear explanation for this insanity. I'm sure some people see this stuff as an investment. Buy something weird for a ridiculous price, then try to sell it to some other sucker, I mean buyer, for a higher price. Some researchers refer to the phenomenon as "contagion," with the notion that the stuff some celebrity touched has some sort of essense that can be transferred. Or something.

Geez, there's all kinds of contagion you could get from this stuff. Britney's gum? What else was she chewing the night she had that gum?  And how long was Justin Timberlake's French toast left out on the table. How many flies landed on it?

An article from June at dailyfinance.com speculated that people just want to fantasize about being the celebrity who owned it. The article quoted psychotherapist Joan Ingber, who said, "Maybe it's a way for someone to slip into the celebrity's skin and the trappings of their lives."

But why spend tens of thousands of dollars on memorabilia to vicariously live the life of a celebrity, when you can go to TMZ.com, watch Entertainment Tonight, or buy a supermarket tabloid to get the dirt on what your favorite celebrity is doing? Then you can just pretend you're in the middle of the scandal du jour of the week if that's how you get your kicks.

Yes, you, too can get in and out of a car wearing a teeny tiny miniskirt with no underwear so you can flash your, well, never mind. Or you can recite Charlie Sheen "winning" screeds out on the street if you prefer that.

Or maybe you can do the hard work of becoming an actual celebrity. Just sign up for as many reality TV shows as you can, try your damndest to make an utter, complete loutish fool out of yourself so that you can watch the fame wash over you.

See? No need to spend that kind of money. You can thank me now for saving you all that cold, hard cash.

Really Looking Forward to "Off Their Rockers" Insanity

I normally don't get too excited over the hype surrounding upcoming network television shows, but I am bouncing with excitement over "Betty White's Off Their Rockers"

The show, hosted by the superb Betty White, looks like it will be a slapstick stupid "reality" show featuring older people doing outrageous things to punk and terrify younger people.

Yes, I know it's a bit condescending to laugh as older people break stereotypes and blurt out blunt sexual innuendos, perform pratfalls worthy of Larry, Moe, and Curly and generally terrorize the younger folk.

And yes, this could be just a really stupid, boring bust, but I'm optimistic.

In the promotional material for the NBC show, it does tweak the coveted 18 to 49 year old age group that the television folks say are the only relevant people in the universe when it comes to TV viewers. This resonates with me because I, ahem, turn 50 later this year.

What I like about it, potentially, is the show might do just a little to make people realize that it's not gross or bad if older people have a little fun. Are you listening, juiced out 20-something frat boys in the gym who resent people like me, old enough to be their father, pushing the weights around too?

Sorry, there's lots  of "old people" out there now. Deal with it, or get out of our way. Especially get out of Betty White's way.

Anway, the tag line of the show is "The saying is 'respect your elders.' It doesn't say anything about respecting you back."

"Off Their Rockers is scheduled to debut next Monday, the 16th, after Betty White's 90th birthday special.

White, by the way, is playing down her birthday. She's been quoted as saying, "Everybody is celebrating it for me. Don't give me any credit. I didn't do anything. It just happened."

Here's a funny promotional video for the show:

Madonna Is a Woman, Not a Test Mouse!

This woman is not a test mouse.

A hilarious interview, roughly a year old, is surfacing involving Madonna and a Hungarian newspaper.

The questions by the newspaper go like this:

"Are you a bold, hussy woman that feasts on men who are tops?" and "How many Hungarian men have you dated in bed?"

Examples of Madonna's answers include: "I am a woman, not a test mouse." and "Carlos is an everyday person who is in the orbit of a star who is being muscle trained by him, not a sex machine."

It turns out the interview was translated back and forth between English and Hungarian several times, so what was actually said was lost in the translations. At least I really, really hope so.

Hat tip to Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish blog for alerting everyone to this. To hear a reading of the entire video, listen to the YouTube clip below, taken from the French and Saunders show on BBC2. No video to watch, except for a picture of the two hosts, but listen, you will laugh out loud, guaranteed. I wish all my interviews went like that.

American Top 40!!!!!!!

It's a chore, sometimes, driving through rural Vermont if you don't have decent music in the car, and you have to rely on radio stations to keep you entertained.  Consider my experience as I drove the two hours home from Rutland to St. Albans the other night:

Hmm, the oldies station. Click:
The Carpenters wail, "Don't you remember you told me you love me baby. Baby, baby, baby baby, oh baybeeee!!"

Click. The top 40 station.
Some pop tart's on: "Sticks and Stones will break my bones but chains and whips excite me."
CLICK!

A country station?
".....I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights...."
Click 

A familiar radio jingle: .American..Top 40!!!!!"
It was a rerun, of all things, of American Top 40 with Casey Kasem from April 5, 1986.

Casey Kasem kept me company the
other night with a 1986 blast from the past

Wow, a time warp from the 1980s. I need somebody with big hair and parachute pants, pronto!

I quickly got immersed in Casey's minutae of the chart toppers of 1986.

This particular Top 40, had two differents songs with the same name, Casey tells us, both called "I Can't Wait."  What fun! I can't wait to hear them, to see if I remember the songs

I do remember them! Stevie Nicks angrily warbles through one of the "I Can't Wait" songs, over a background of urgent '80s era thunks and clanks and fake drums. Fun Fact: Her "I Can't Wait" is off her "Rock A Little " album. "Rock A Little" is also the current name of Nick's official Web site.

Turns out I recalled the other "I Can't Wait,"  by a now-forgotten group called Nu Shooz. I actually like this danceable song, even if it does sound a bit like a really bad earthquake at a wind chime factory. It turns out Nu Shooz is still going strong, though their sound has changed to something they call pop/jazz/cinema. The reviews look good, though.

Another blast from the past follows almost immediately after "I Can't Wait as Casey plays something called "Beat's So Lonely," by Charlie Sexton, who, when he was on the chart in April, 1986, was a 17-year old wunderkind who apparently was on his way to being a huge superstar.

I hadn't  heard of Sexton since 1986, though I've learned, upon looking him up, is that he is still a well-respected musician, band members for big acts like Bob Dylan, and has been producing many hit records. So good for him!

I remember loving the song "Beats so Lonely" in 1986, but upon hearing it again the other night, it sounded so overwrought. Which is what you'd expect from a 17-year old.

Then it was time for the highlight of the snow, the Long Distance Dedication. It was from a guy from North Dakota, who was sending it out to his wife, who presumably lived in the guy's house, so there wasn't much of a distance to carry.

No matter. Mr. Fargo wrote that he was cleaning out his garage and found some eight track tapes, one of which featured Bobby Vinton's song, "I Love How You Love Me."

Bobby Vinton helped soothe my drive home the other night

Good gawd, I thought that song was so cheesy and hokey back in my wild semi-youthful days in 1986. Casey Kasem sure is old school, I thought.

Then the song played. It immediately made me think of my lover, and I melted. What a beautiful tune. Yes, it's cheesy as hell,  but since it conjures up great thoughts, what the hell.

Radio stations obviously play Casey Kasem reruns to appeal to our nostalgia, of course. That's OK. Indulging in "American Top 40" gives us a chance to indulge in assessing where we've been, where we're going, and provides a soundtrack to get the juices flowing with those thoughts.

I see the musicians in the 1986 Top 40 countdown have also evolved and grown and changed, so we're all in this together.  As I neared home, Van Halen's song "Why Can't This Be Love" blasted from my truck's radio (The biggest mover within the countdown!,"  Casey gushed)

I pulled into the driveway, took one last look at 1986, and pronounced myself happy to be home, alive and well in 2011.