Worst First Name Ever For Kid Causes Family Strife

An expectant mother wants to give her son the first name "Squire
Sebastian  Senator" with no shortened nicknames, please. Ugh! 

I so wish this story, gleaned from the unreliable Internet wasn't true. But since some pretty responsible news outlets have picked up on this, so I  suspect the following stupidity is true.

An unidentified woman says she wants to name her son Squire Sebastian Senator.  

If you think that seems pretentious, you're right. Even worse, this woman says those three names are really just his first name.  

According to Newsweek and many other new sources, The woman in question says this is her son's first name and "he will not be allowed to have a nickname."

Most of us address our friends by their reasonable first name: "Bob" "Jane." Somewhat unusual first names are OK, too.  Hi, Maverick! Hi, Harmony! It's all good. Many parents name their kids according to their ancestry, race, personal interests, references to Greek or Roman or other gods and it's all cool.

Usually, all these names are easy to say. Even if they aren't, it's usually for a good reason. The kid is named after a beloved living or deceased relative, or somebody who made history, or named in a way that shows pride in the famiy's heritage. Within reason.

But when this kid is born, do you really always want to refer to him as "Squire Sebastian Senator?" When anybody addresses a kid with two or three names, it means they're in trouble for some reason. I still shudder rememberingwhen my mother yelled, JOHN MATTHEW!!!!! Do we really want this kid to think he's always in trouble?

Apparently, we do, or at least mom does.. As she explained on Facebook: "We come from a long lasting family of both squires and senators. If you look back in our family tree, the survival of the clan is literally rooted in squiredom. We are all related to senators, too....This name conveys power. It conveys wealth. It conveys success."

It also conveys the fact that this kid will be mercilessly bullied.  And ultimately messed up. Think about it. Would you like to address this kid like that? Never bully a kid, or anybody for that matter. But you know quite a few people will take the bait and abuse this kid. Not his fault. But it will be mom's fault.

Mom plows on in her Facebook post:

"Squire Sebastian Senator will live a powerful, wholesome life. His confidence will not diminish simply because his name is out of the ordinary. Instead, he will become extraordinary."

Extraordinary is one way to put it.

This name mom wants to give to this poor boy is just an exercise in his parents' ego, and nothing more, which is sad. You can tell by the mom's social media post in which she cancels a planned baby shower.

"It brings me pain to have to tell you this, but I am cancelling this event....Why am I doing this? Because y'all have been talking shit about my unborn baby. AN UNBORN CHILD. How can you judge an unborn child?? What is wrong with you?

Talk about not getting it!! As is obvious to everyone except to mom, nobody is judging the kid. To spell it out, he hasn't been born yet. Nobody's met him yet. How can you judge a person who have not met?

What people are really judging is the mom, which is totally fair. She's the one playing this tragi-comic name game with the unborn son.  For most parents, it's all or mostly about the kid. For this mom, it's all about her. Not a good omen.

This mom goes on relentlessly in her Facebook post: "My baby's name WILL be a revolution.....It will push people to question everything."

Well, it does push me to question some things. Like should this woman actually be a mother? Is there a way we can help this poor kid? Would it violate the First Amendment to force parents to change a kid's name if it is unsuitable? What does this woman mean by "revolution?"

 On Reddit, where this whole thing went viral, the reviews are understandably pretty negative:

"This could be the first child ever to run away from home before he's born," one person commented.

Another person said, "He's the first kid ever to come from school with the nickname 'Stinky' an be happy abou it."

I just pray that when this kid is born and people get to know him, they won't fault this stupid name game on the kid.

And I hope this is the first and last time this mom saddles her kid with something stupid, born from her own ego.