Darlusz Meets Jackson

Editor's Note: Darlusz Zabagaiski, the Polish ceramic/plastic frog that lives in our house and serves as the household muse, is guest writing today's blog post:


I dunno. Dis Jackson, I dunno what to tink. Monday, Jeff come home, he got furry little animal wit 'im. Black curly fur, really, what you say, hyper. Jeff say furry ting is a called a puppy. Jeff say it name Jackson and it live wit us. Is cute.  Still, I worry.

Matt come home soon, I thought. He fix this. I worry dis Jackson iz too much. Maybe Matt tell Jackson live somewhere else, I hope.

But when Matt come home, he all thrilled wit dis ting Jackson. He lay down on driveway with little animal and start play wit it. Matt no like me no more? I tot we team. I get sad. Maybe he want me leave? Where I go? I not like da other frog who can live in da swamp. I get cold. Scared big animal come eat me.

Finally, Matt notice I in corner and I no look good.

Jackson the puppy and Darlusz the Polish
frog introduce themselves to each other. 

"OK, what's wrong, Darlusz,?" Matt asked, as Jackson, dat little black animal follow Matt, playing around Matt ankles.

I tol Matt why I worry.

"You worry way too much," Darlusz said. This is Jackson. He is going to live with me and Jeff and you for as long as we are all alive. Jackson is a dog. He's fun. He'll get bigger and a little less hyper in a year or two, but he'll still be fun to play with."

"But dare room for all us? I have to go live somewhere else? Where?," I asked.

"Why would you think that,?" Matt said. "There's plenty of room for all of us. You'll stay here. I told you from the beginning you can stay here forever."

"But you pay attention to dog. You just put me in corner and forget me, right,?" I asked. If you do dat, I must leave. I no want get in way.

Matt laughed and said, "No. You'll always be part of the family.  But Jackson is going to need lots of extra attention, especially when he's young.   He's a puppy, so he's like a little baby. We have to protect him, feed him, keep him out of trouble, and teach him how to live so he doesn't make messes and we all get along. But we'll all be a team. You included."

While Matt talk, I watch da Jackson. I little afraid of it. He smell me. Tug on da foot I hurt last winter.

"When Jackson get bigger, will he eat me? I worry. He has big teeth," I said.

Matt said he would protect me, and Jackson will be my friend.

I had other worry. "Will he eat bugs? I like to eat da bugs around here. I no want Jackson steal dem," I said.

Matt thought about that. Then he said, "Well, he'll probably eat a few. But we'll give him his own food. It'll be just like me and Jeff. Jeff and I eat our own kind of food, and you can have the bugs, which Jeff and I don't want. They'll be plenty for you."

Matt look at me. He see I still worry. But he good. He try to help. Here what Matt said.

"Remember when Jeff moved in? You worried I would blow you off. But what happened? We got much happier when Jeff came here.  The added person, especially with it being Jeff, just made things so much better in the house. For a million reasons. It will be sort of the same with Jackson's arrival.  Love, respect and friendship don't come in limited quantities. If you add more happy beings to a household, and you make the effort to support each other, laugh in the good times, help in the bad, the good vibe in the house, the love and warmth and trust just grows and grows."

"Yes, we'll all have to adjust our lives a bit with Jackson here now, but dogs like Jackson are innocent beings who will love and protect you unconditionally. He'll make you laugh, and he'll cheer you up when you're sad. Think of Jackson as a magic little animal that spreads cheer and kindness everywhere. I know you like magic, and happiness and good feelings, right?"

Matt smile at me as he finish da talk.   Dis animal, Jackson, lick my face, like he kiss me. Den he hop around me, like he jump for joy.

I tink maybe Matt right. I be friend with Jackson.  Maybe we have fun. Maybe da two of us can hunt da bug together.  I give it try.

Korean Lilac Cheers Me, Darlusz

"Matt, you sister and dat husband she got really nize. What dat day leave out dare on da deck,?" asked Darlusz Zabagaiski, the Polish frog who lives here at my St. Albans house.

"They sure are nice. They left me a beautiful Korean dwarf lilac to plant out in the yard," I replied. It's a beautiful gift. It blooms a little later than traditional lilacs. It's smaller, and has these gorgeous dark, shiny leaves with curvy edges. Just a gorgeous shrub.

The lilac will be another step in my goal to eradicate as much lawn as possible and convert it to gardens.

"Where you plant da what you call, Korean lilac,?" Darlusz asked.

Darlusz the Polish frog checks out the
dwarf Korean lilac my sister got
me as a gift.

"I think it will look great on the right side of the driveway, sort of across the driveway from the big lilac I already have. The Korean lilac can act as sort of an echo to the other one. It will also add a nice point of interest to an area that is a little too flat, with plantings that are a little too even, with not enough variety,"  I said, trying to fake some good landscape design chops as I talked.

"I help you plant," Darlusz said.

"OK, but no eating bugs around the lilac. I don't want you knocking it down and damaging it," I said.

"First we have to decide exactly where to plant it," I said. "Darlusz, you're good at placing things in the right spot. You can guide me," I said.

That was a big mistake. I brought the lilac in its pot out, and placed it in a spot I thought would work. "Move dat six inch to da right," Darlusz said. I complied. "No, now up da hill four inches, no a little down hill, to da right....."

This lastest most of the morning.

By the time we finally settled on a place to plant the lilac, it was getting late. I started digging the dirt in the spot where it will go, but decided to come back to it today. The dirt is surprisingly lousy there, full of rocks and a little bit of garbage like broken light bulbs and plastic that the strange, previous owner of my house buried.

I'll dig out an area much bigger than the lilac's root ball and replace it with quality soil. "I help you haul da good dirt here," Darlusz said.

"OK, but you'd better not be as picky as you were today," I said.  We have to get this thing planted tomorrow.

Darlusz and the Changed Home

"So many changes. I no keep up. It different,"said  Darlusz Zabagaiski, the Polish Frog said amid the construction material and shifted around furniture in the house.

Darlusz, for the unitiated, is the plastic/ceramic frog that serves as a household muse and conversation piece. He likes making an occasional guest appearance in this blog.

Darlusz compares our new kitchen floor, brown, top
left, to the ugly old lineleum floor.

"I know, isn't it great,?" I said, as I tripped over a box of flooring that was ready to be installed.

The St. Albans, Vermont house Darlusz, Jeff and I live in is in the throes of a major transformation, thanks to Jeff, who is both a design expert and somebody who can't stand life unless he has some nice big projects going on.

Because of Jeff's hard work, the front deck was replaced, a new floor appeared on the kitchen and living room. He installed carpeting in a bedroom, refinished the kitchen cupboards, painted the shed, and did plenty of other projects that are too much to count. All this happened just in the past month.

Oh, and Jeff is overseeing the replacement of the entire west wall of the living room, and it will become mostly glass, to capture the great view of the Champlain Valley.

Darlusz and I are exhausted just thinking about all this, and Jeff's the one doing all the work.

"Yez. it nice, but I confused. So much new stuff. Da boxes everywhere. Da floor, it new color. No used to dat. Da new baseboards, make da wall different and I bump into it. Why you take out the big window in the living room?  It plywood now. Look awful. Can't see da bugs fly by outside dat I can eat," Darlusz whined.

Darlusz inspects the old window we're removing from the
house. Sheetrock was removed to prepare for the work.

"Oh, relax, it will be done soon enough. That plywood is going to become a big glass wall, you can see all the bugs you want. But it will probably make you hungrier because the bugs will be outdoors.  And you have to admit the new floor and baseboards are gorgeous," I said.

"Yah, but I no good at change. Took me months to get good again when I move here from Poland two year ago," Darlusz said.

"You'll get used to it soon enough, and you will love it. I guarantee it. I already love it. And I sure don't miss that awful window in the living room. It was leaky, you couldn't see out it that well because of condensation, and worse, it was attracting carpenter ants," I said.

Darlusz hunts in vain for insects to eat on the great new floor
in our kitchen and living room.

"But I love doz carpenter ant. Day tasty," Darlusz said.

"You can only eat so many of those. And besides, you're gaining weight," I said. There will be plenty of bugs for you even without the carpenter ants. And if they're not enough, I'll even buy some for you."

"You do dat for me,?" Darlusz asked.

"Absolutely. As long as you help me move these empty flooring boxes out of the kitchen," I replied.

"You good man," Darlusz said.

"Thanks. But you should really thank Jeff. He's the one responsible for all these great home improvements," I said.

Deck Demolition

Darlusz the frog supervisers my
deck railing demolition

"What you do, dat noise, da pieces of wood all over. You make da mess," Darlusz Zabagaiski told me as I stood there, axe in one hand, claw hammer in the next. "You look like you murder somebody. I hope you no hurt me."

As readers of my blog at www.mattalltrades.wordpress.com know, Darlusz is the big brown frog made of plastic and resin that lives here and comments on my comings and goings. He believes he is my muse. He's nosy, but I don't mind because in the summer he consumes some of the mosquitoes that plague the boggy woods around my house.

As he always does, Darlusz was watching me work. I was starting to demolish the ugly, rotting wooden railing around the deck near the front entrance of my house.

Darlusz tottered on top of the railing I was destroying, seeing how his balance is

"Careful, I don't want you falling and breaking another foot. You still haven't recovered from that fall at Thanksgiving," I said, pointing to his bandaged front foot.

Darlusz  was looking doubtful about my work, and I could tell he needed more explanations from me.

"This will look better eventually. The railing is in the way. I'll have a garden in front of it, and we'll build  some seats. We can sit out here in the summer and enjoy the flowers. You can be my bug control guy," I said.

Darlusz brightened at that. He's been missing the big juicy insects we get out there when it gets warm.

I cut the railing demolition short though. After I knocked down about a third of it, I decided I didn't want to wrestle through the remaining snowbanks to get the rest of it. The railing demolition will have to wait.

Darlusz and I both want spring to arrive.