Here's Why People Have Trouble Figuring Out The English Language

This guy struggles with spelling and grammar,
but hey, English is a difficult language.  

Here's an experiment for you-- hat tip from BoingBoing and Into the Shadows:

Put the word "only" between any two words in this sentence: "She told him that she loved him."

No matter where you put the word "only," the meaning of the sentence totally changes. And you wonder why people trying to learn English mangle their meaning so badly when they attempt to speak it?

This kind of situation recalls my other rants about English. Why can we have sunny days but not moony nights? Why aren't butterflies called flutter by? After all, that's what they do.

We can become overwhelmed or underwhelmed, but nobody is ever just whelmed.

It can get warmer and colder, but not damper or humider. We have the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh day of the month, for example, but not the twoth or threeth. Why?

I liked my father's attitude. When he ran a tavern years ago, he put up an intentionally incorrect sign that warned patrons about the dress code: "No bear feat" said the sign.

All this is why I don't understand rabid members of the grammar police. Yes, you should make an effort to use the English language and to write properly to be understood, but accidentally using "their" instead of "they're" in a hastily written email is not cause for the death penalty.

Oh, sure, I ridicule some of the bigger offenders, too, but I ignore small "word crimes."  You still have to laugh at angry protestors who called President Obama a "Half Breed Muslin" or another placard that read "Remember: Descent is the highest form of patriotic."  (sic)

Who knew the President was a fabric and you have to go down hill to be patriotic, not to mention grammatically incorrect?

I also liked the sign, "Repeel Congress." Yeah, it would be fun to peel that group.

Here's my answer to the word police. I'm going to lighten the mood by giving you Weird Al Yankovic's "Blurred Lines" parody, "Word Crimes"

Enjoy!

The Best Video Release Yet in Weird Al Yankovic's Video Week

Weird Al Yankovic released a video each day for the past week of song parodies, including a grammar lesson set to Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" and a study in tackiness to Pharrell's "Happy"

A still from Weird Al Yankovic's crazy and
hilarious "Lame Claim to Fame"  video

The best one came out yesterday. It's fun because it skewers all those people in social media who name drop.

The slightest brush with celebrity makes people go gaga if they drank at the same bar Lady Gaga did back in 2011. Or something.

This Weird Al release is called "Lame Claim to Fame"

We get lines like "I threw up in an elevator next to Christian Slater," or "I have a car that used to belong to Cuba Gooding Jr.'s uncle" and "A friend of mine in high school had jury duty with Art Garfunkle"

You get the point. Who really cares if you once walked down the same street Kim Kardashian did ten years ago?

Even better, the tune Weird Al Yankovic uses for this parody is a lot like Southern Culture On The Skids' song "Camel Walk"

I LOVE Southern Culture on the Skids. I'll skip describing whether I've ever been in close proximity to them, in honor of Weird Al Yankovic's video.

Here's the stop action madness of "Lame Claim to Fame" Enjoy!

Weird Al Yankovich's "Word Crimes" Is SO Much Better Than It's Parody Target, "Blurred Lines"

Weird Al Yankovic is back, and apparently is releasing a video per day this week to support his new album "Mandatory Fun"   

Expect a new insane video per day this week
from the great Weird Al Yankovic's new album
called Mandatory Fun   

We already got his parody of "Happy" called "Tacky"

But I really loved yesterday's release. It was a riff on that overplayed hit from last year, Robin Thicke's"Blurred Lines"

Yankovic's madness for this is a riff on terrible grammar called "Word Crimes"

In this video, we're taken to task for inserting apostrophes when they're not needed, misusing words and spelling them all wrong. All done hilariously.

I especially love the dancing punctuation marks.

I admit I'm guilty of some of the word crimes Yankovic cites in the video. Those mistakes appear here in the this blog and elsewhere, but whatever.

Then again, I like the tradition of intentional mistakes. My father owned a tavern years ago, and everybody seemed to point out the "wrong" sign he posted that read "No Bear Feat"  Yeah, it was supposed to be "No Bare Feet" but my dad liked messing with people.

My guess is my father had no problem with unshod feet in this business but had real, serious objections to ursine derring-do.

So, I'm glad Yankovic has a new album out, to add to his decades long list of, um incredible videos. (I especially enjoy "Like a Surgeon" and "I Lost On Jeopardy" but that's just me.

Here's the awesome "Word Crimes" video: