One of my least favorite Christmas season songs is the 1953 Eartha Kitt classic, "Santa, Baby."
In the song, Kitt purrs her way through a gift list she wants from Santa when he "comes down the chimney tonight. "
In the long list of expensive things she wants is a car, specifically a nice 1954 convertible, light blue. Also, holiday decorations from Tiffany's, a sable (who wears real fur coats anymore?). big checks with lots of zeros after a first integer, a duplex (why a duplex, why not just a house?) and of all things, a platinum mine.
Who the hell would even think of asking for a platinum mine for Christmas? Who the hell would want one?
That old gold digging song needed a serious update. Most women I know don't pine for all that weird stuff anymore. They especially don't wish for a platinum mine. Some women might want to shove a bad, lousy ex into a platinum mine, but that's another story.
Miley Cyrus recently appeared on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. There she was in a cute green and red Christmas outfit, lounged out on a couch. With an earnest smile that is apparently required whenever you sing a holiday song, she belts out "Santa, Baby."
But this Miley version is seriously updated. Sables, checks, cars and platinum mines are out. Cyrus's "Santa, Baby" now has a refreshing feminist twist. Sample lyric:
"Santa, baby, I've got a baller car of my own, no loan. I bought it all by myself, Santa baby, with zero help from Elf on the Shelf."
The rest of the song is definitely worth a watch and listen. Especially when she gets to what Santa and other men can do with their chimneys:
Here ya go!
Showing posts with label Miley Cyrus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miley Cyrus. Show all posts
Sunday, December 23, 2018
Thursday, October 31, 2013
The Scariest Halloween Prank In The World Might Be In Poland
We have to acknowledge Halloween today with the tried and true holiday meme of getting people to stop and look at something and then somebody or something unexpectedly jumps out and scares the bejeezus out of passersby.
It's a staple of every haunted house and Halloween party out there.
And so it was on some street in Poland, but with a twist. Add some bad dance music and some shiny gold colored tights and you'll really get a scare.
Trust me when you watch this video, you'll really lose it at "Wrecking Ball."
Hat tip to Gawker for this video:
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| Add caption |
It's a staple of every haunted house and Halloween party out there.
And so it was on some street in Poland, but with a twist. Add some bad dance music and some shiny gold colored tights and you'll really get a scare.
Trust me when you watch this video, you'll really lose it at "Wrecking Ball."
Hat tip to Gawker for this video:
Friday, September 6, 2013
Twerking is SO Over, And I Have All the Proof You Need
Unfortunately, I fear the word "Twerk" is going to be the word of the year for 2013.
It has jumped the shark on so many levels that I think anyone who now dares to twerk in public is going to be forever branded as the ultimate moron.
For the three people in the world who still don't know what twerking is, it's bending over and bouncing your butt to the music.
It's supposed to be sexy, I guess, but in my mind twerking is as sexy as an epileptic seizure and looks like one, too.
But what do I know?
The world entered Peak Twerk a couple weeks back during the Great Miley Cyrus Twerking Crisis of 2013, when the former Hannah Montana twerked her way into history during the Video Music Awards show.
She should be so excited. It now appears her biggest claim to fame, the first sentence in her some-day obituary, will be the day Miley did a Twerk heard around the world.
A video out this week, that I suspect is a set up and wasn't a pure accident, brings us the ultimate low in twerking. It was purportedly done by young woman twerking on video to turn her boyfriend on.
Note to her boyfriend: Run, man, run! Don't look back! A girl twerking like that, for the "benefit" of viewers around the nation is no good. You'd probably do better with a depressed heroin addict. It's that bad.
Anyway, the young woman twerks against a door. (Don't ask), and somebody opens the door, the twerking woman falls over onto a table full of candles and catches fire.
If only all twerkers could meet a similar fate.
If the video is real, why is the fiery young twerking victim putting it out there for the world to see? I guess hits on YouTube, and the money it generates, makes worldwide public humiliation worth it.
Again, the video is probably just a comedy sketch, but it's an important milestone: Twerking is now officially passe. On to the next stupid craze. For the record, here's the girl twerking, catching fire video, if you can stand it:
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| A still from the video that (I hope) signals the end of the twerking fad, thank Gawd! |
It has jumped the shark on so many levels that I think anyone who now dares to twerk in public is going to be forever branded as the ultimate moron.
For the three people in the world who still don't know what twerking is, it's bending over and bouncing your butt to the music.
It's supposed to be sexy, I guess, but in my mind twerking is as sexy as an epileptic seizure and looks like one, too.
But what do I know?
The world entered Peak Twerk a couple weeks back during the Great Miley Cyrus Twerking Crisis of 2013, when the former Hannah Montana twerked her way into history during the Video Music Awards show.
She should be so excited. It now appears her biggest claim to fame, the first sentence in her some-day obituary, will be the day Miley did a Twerk heard around the world.
A video out this week, that I suspect is a set up and wasn't a pure accident, brings us the ultimate low in twerking. It was purportedly done by young woman twerking on video to turn her boyfriend on.
Note to her boyfriend: Run, man, run! Don't look back! A girl twerking like that, for the "benefit" of viewers around the nation is no good. You'd probably do better with a depressed heroin addict. It's that bad.
Anyway, the young woman twerks against a door. (Don't ask), and somebody opens the door, the twerking woman falls over onto a table full of candles and catches fire.
If only all twerkers could meet a similar fate.
If the video is real, why is the fiery young twerking victim putting it out there for the world to see? I guess hits on YouTube, and the money it generates, makes worldwide public humiliation worth it.
Again, the video is probably just a comedy sketch, but it's an important milestone: Twerking is now officially passe. On to the next stupid craze. For the record, here's the girl twerking, catching fire video, if you can stand it:
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Hilarious Pop Culture Collision: Breaking Bad and Miley Cyrus
Somebody named Sam Barnett on YouTube just made an inspired pop culture mashup of two of the biggest, frivolous things going on out there now.
As most of us know, "Breaking Bad" is probably the most talked about television series out there now.
On Sunday's episode of "Breaking Bad" there was an incredibly pivotal scene that I won't describe much in case you haven't seen it yet and want to.
Anyway, two characters from "Breaking Bad," Hank and Marie, were watching something shocking and horrifying. That's one part of the mashup.
Another shocking and horrifying thing going on Sunday was the Great Miley Cyrus Crisis of 2013, in which, as we all know, involved her, um, saucy performance at the Video Music Awards.
So, on YouTube, somebody decided to mash up the two most talked about pop culture moments of the week. It's pretty hysterical. Watch:
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| Hank from "Breaking Bad" appearing not to enjoy Miley Cyrus' performance |
As most of us know, "Breaking Bad" is probably the most talked about television series out there now.
On Sunday's episode of "Breaking Bad" there was an incredibly pivotal scene that I won't describe much in case you haven't seen it yet and want to.
Anyway, two characters from "Breaking Bad," Hank and Marie, were watching something shocking and horrifying. That's one part of the mashup.
Another shocking and horrifying thing going on Sunday was the Great Miley Cyrus Crisis of 2013, in which, as we all know, involved her, um, saucy performance at the Video Music Awards.
So, on YouTube, somebody decided to mash up the two most talked about pop culture moments of the week. It's pretty hysterical. Watch:
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