Matt of All Trades blog, like the title suggests, is by a Vermont author and offers offbeat musings on pop culture, media, journalism, humor, weirdness, stupid people, smart people, my life as a journalist, landscaper, photographer, married gay man, dog lover and weather geek and more. It's run by me, Matt Sutkoski, a native Vermonter living in St. Albans, Vt.
This weirdo was caught on home security cameras licking a doorbell for three hours. I'm sure when they catch this guy some people will want to know why.
This story has gone viral, and I can see why.
People in Salinas, California, and pretty much everywhere else are wondering why some weirdo was licking a doorbell on a pleasant looking house in that city.
The homeowners had installed video surveillance about a month ago. They weren't home when this happens, but they get alerts on their phone when there's a lot of activity at the house.
They reviewed the surveillance footage, and found this idiot licking the doorbell. For three hours.
The video went viral and this guy now has a nationwide reputation as being, well, EWWWWWW!!
Police said the images on the surveillance video were pretty damn clear, which helped lead them to Roberto Daniel Arroyo, 33, who is the alleged doorbell licker. He could face two misdemeanor charges of petty theft and prowling.
He didn't take anything except for an extension cord, which was later found at a nearby neighbor's house. Arroyo did apparently stop his doorbell licking long enough to take a pee on the front lawn.
The family that owns the house, as you might imagine, spent quite a bit of time cleaning the doorbell with antiseptic cleanser.
Here's the news video, with some footage of the oddball doorbell licker:
A smelly sewage problem developed in Dodgers Stadium in Los Angeles
during an exhibition game this week.
Baseball games are called for all sorts of reasons: Rain, lightning, hail. Even snow!
But this is a new one. Sewage forced the premature end of an exhibition game at Dodgers Stadium last week.
According to the Los Angeles Times, the sewage mishap killed the exhibition game between the Dodgers and Angels in the fifth inning on Tuesday.
The LA Times says the Dodgers have not exactly said what was spilled, but we do know it was brown and smelly and didn't seem to want to stop gurgling out.
I totally feel sorry for the groundskeepers who had to try to contain the icky brown flood.
Dodgers Pitcher Ross Stripling had this little editorial comment about the situation.
"Crappy way to end the spring.... Get it?"
Unfortunately, yeah, we get it.
We're told the problem has been fixed and we can get on with Major League Baseball season in Los Angeles.
The gross algae bloom in Florida. Photo by Terry Spencer/AP
Nobody's going in the water and everybody's pointing fingers of blame in Florida for something truly disgusting:
A soupy, icky, possibly toxic algae bloom is gumming up the shoreline at the peak and heat of summer.
As if alligators and unrelenting humidity weren't enough, now you can't go in the water.
Or even near it.
Florida Gov. Rick Scott has declared a state of emergency because of the blue in southeast parts of the state.
And everybody's pointing fingers at each other in blame for the ickiness.
The algae is there because of polluted, phosphorus-laden water coming from Lake Okeechobee, about 35 miles away from the affected areas.
The governor says it's the federal government's fault for neglecting repairs to the lake's old dike system.
He could have a point, since the Army Corps of Engineers is inadequately funded for this type of thing. Plus, there was tons of rain in Florida this past winter and spring, so with their inadequate system, they had to release more tainted water from the lake than usual.
But lots of state officials have looked the other way as farming and other interests have dumped pollution and phosphorus in the Lake Okeechobee. Had they cracked down on that, this not have been such an issue.
As local public radio station WQCS noted, there was a deal in the works back in 2011 for the Florida Legislature to buy more land around Lake Okeechobee for water storage, but Governor Scott's administration came in and put an end to that idea.
So yeah, this might be Scott's fault, too.
Area residents say the algae smells so bad that they have to stay indoors, and when they do go outside, some of them get watery eyes and respiratory problems.
Plus, wildlife is suffering, too, and some marine animals are probably dying because of the algae.
This kind of thing happens elsewhere due to poor pollution controls, mostly from agricultural, sewage treatment plant and industrial runoff.
Here where I live in Vermont, toxic and thick algae have lately made appearances in and around St. Albans Bay, which I can see from my hillsice home, in the past few summers. That has caused swimming bans and warnings to keep children and pets away from the algae-slimed water. It could hurt or kill them.
Of course, it's expensive to enact pollution controls that would prevent all this phosphorus and other bad stuff from getting into waters around Florida, the Great Lakes, Vermont and elsewhere.
But do we really want to spend our summers holding our noses and worried about our health because of all this algae in the water?
Heres an aerial view of the algae in Florida to give you an idea of the scope of the Algae From Hell
And he's a sad video of a manatee trapped in the algae goop and a family trying to hose it off to give it some relief. It's unclear if the manatee made it out of the algae and survived or not:
What is it about people named Anthony Weiner having issues with sexting scandals?
We all know the Anthony Weiner who is the New York mayoral candidate who keeps getting in trouble for sexting, sending women pictures of his junk. We all agree that's pretty icky.
New York's Anthony Weiner can take
comfort of sorts knowing there's an
Anthony Weiner out there weirder than him.
Now, the New York Daily News brings us an update on another Anthony Weiner, this one from Revere Massachusetts, who, if accusations are true, really out Weinered the more famous Weiner.
According to the Daily News:
"This Anthony Weiner, 25, of Revere, Mass. used his wife's phone to send a text luring the 21-year-old Winthrop man to another house in Revere. Once there, the guest was greeted witha bat to the head.
Prosecutors said Weiner tied the man to a chair threatened him with a power tool and a BB gun, and only released him when the terrified vicim began vomiting."
Yikes! It's unclear from the report what led the Revere Weiner to do all this.
I'm sure his wife is impressed. She probably even bought a new phone. I wouldn't want to touch it after what Revere Weiner did.
I think Revere Weiner's marriage was rocky to begin with. The Daily News reported that he punched his mother-in-law during a brawl on his wedding day.
Maybe it's best that people looking for a date avoid anyone named Anthony Weiner.
Yes, this isn't exactly behind closed doors, so it's illegal anyway, but you have to give the guy credit for effort.
I'm certainly not going to try, but how do you control a car doing 90 mph, while simultaneously letting all the other passing motorists see your junk and exactly what you're doing to it? Seems impossible to me. But if police are to be believed, Blakely is quite an accomplished guy.
Maybe Blakely is an expert contortionist, waiting for his big break, and he was just practicing.
Some reports suggest Blakely has been doing this kind of stunt for awhile, but hadn't been caught until now because nobody came forward. I guess Blakely has had a lot of practice.
I can see how people wouldn't want to call 911. The story is so unbelievable they'd be charged with making a false report to police. Can you imagine the 911 call:
Dispatcher: "911, may I help you?"
Motorist: "Yes, I'm on Interstate 26, near mile marker 55. There's a guy doing 90 mph and he's getting his rocks off and showing himself off to everybody else.
Dispatcher: "Have you been drinking?"
Meanwhile, we have the case out of China, in which a man thought it would be fun to stick a live eel up his butt, you know, for sexual pleasure. Yes, I know that doesn't sound terribly fun, but I guess we all have different ideas of what fun is.
Understandably, the eel wanted to get the hell out of there, so chomped through the guy's colon in an effort to escape. Our eel man was in serious condition in a hospital at last report.
So maybe Cuccinelli was right. Maybe our sexual habits ought to be regulated by the government, just to keep us safe.
The lovely scene inside the now closed bakery
in Britain
At least the bakery was able to save money on interior signs. Rather than buy a sign saying "Office" for the office door, somebody just scratched that word into the black mold covering the door. Problem solved!
And they were into recycling. They kept "mopping:" the floor, according to authorities, with the same dirty water. They were saving on water and detergent. How environmentally friendly!
You wonder how they got away with being such a mess for so long. But I suppose excuses and little lies got them through
Why are the sesame seeds on my muffins moving?
It's a new treat. They're Mexican jumping sesame seeds.
Why are the walls in this bakery black and fuzzy?
Sound proofing. The neighbors were annoyed by the noise from the bakery equipment and so we installed the sound proofing.
Why is there a dead rat on the floor?
That's a new breed of cat. He's just sleeping.
Then why are there flies all over "the cat?"
The cat attracts them for us, and swats them dead. Keeps things clean.
Why all the paint chips on everything.
Don't worry. It's decorative.
I'm OK with the itsy bitsy spider thing going on, but isn't 9,482,345,190 spider webs hanging from the ceiling too much?
Naw. It's shoplifting prevention. If somebody tries to hurry out with stolen goods, they get tangled up in the webs.
In any event, if you're planning a trip to Britain, stay away from Meads Bakery. Even if it is closed.
