Such Creative Ways To Rob Stores! Chainsaws and Flower Pots

I can NEVER get over the creativity of those people who like to rob stores for fun and profits. (Or maybe cigarettes, beer and lottery tickets)

Our flower pot wearing buddy trying
to rob an Australian convenience store
with a chainsaw. n

A perfect example of this takes to Australia recently, when a young guy wearing a flower pot on his head maybe inspired by the band Devo, tried to rob a store while holding onto a running chainsaw.

Alas, as is often the case in these robberies, our suspect, Steven Frank Steele, didn't get away with much, and was arrested to boot, according to Australian authorities, according to the Queensland Times.

He did manage to get away with a bottle of soda, was able to moon the terrified store clerks, and damage a window and some display shelves, so there is that.

Police said the chainsaw was stolen, too. Oh well.

And that flower pot looked pretty cheap, don't you think? Dude, you want to go for quality. Don't the garden centers in Australia have anything nice in ceramic or terra cota?

Last we checked, Steele was being held until his next court appearance. And he apparently no longer has a chain saw with him.

A Winter Storm Watch In Vermont if It Were REALLY Truthful

There's a winter storm watch up for Vermont because we might, maybe get a routine snowfall of 6 to 10 inches Thursday night. We'll see.

Read this post if you want to read how I'd warn
the public about a winter torm like the one pictured.  

I poached this from my sister blog, Matt's Weather Rapport because it's not strictly weather related.

If I were in charge of issuing storm warnings for the National Weather Service, this is what I would come up with.

"The National Weather Service has issued a Winter Storm Watch in Vermont.

Snow is expected to begin Thursday and continue Thursday night into Friday.  Screams of "Powder Day!!!" from Vermonters are expected to accompany the heavy snow.

The snow is expected to mix with scattered idiotic drivers on Interstate 89 during the storm, especially during the morning and late afternoon commutes. The fast-moving idiots, coming mostly in the form of SUVs,  will cause traffic delays, bent fenders and derisive laughter as people mock the upside down SUVs in snowbanks.  

Also in effect is a Tow Advisory to continue into Saturday as people leave their cars on the streets despite winter parking bans. Scattered cursing and arguing will occur during the Tow Advisory. There is even a chance of a thrown punch during the Tow Advisory period.

The National Weather Service has also issued a Sledding Hill Congestion Watch through Sunday as heavy sledding and tobogganing is expected to develop this week. The areas most threatened with sledding hill congestion are areas near schools closed by the snowy weather, where children will gather to play, proving they could have made it to classes after all. 

Additionally, a Clueless, Rude Out of State Skier Watch is in effect through the next week at least.  There is a risk that some out of state visitors might travel on the wrong side of the road, text while zooming down a ski slope and yell at a hapless waitress because the restaurant is out of Stoli O. 

Vermonters are urged to exercise caution and patience during the Clueless, Rude Out of State Skier Watch period. 

Finally, a seed catalog greenery advisory is in effect through March. Winter weary Vermonters might start drooling over the lush plants pictured in the seed catalogs now appearing in Vermont mailboxes. Slick spots due to gardeners' drooling over the pictures are likely. 

Police Dog Takes Bite Out Of Crime Committed By McGruff Crime Dog Actor

I love it that an actor who portrayed McGruff the Crime Dog was convicted of multiple crimes, and the big break in the case was made by a drug sniffing dog.

The cartoon McGruff the crime
dog is one of the good guys.
A Texas actor who portrayed him,
 not so much.  

Apparently, the actor, John Morales, was speeding down a Texas freeway when cops stopped him and the dog detected some pot, according to Houston area media outlets, including CBS Houston and the Houston Chronicle. 

Police said they ended up searching his house and finding 1,000 marijuana plants, 27 weapons including a grenade launcher and 9,000 rounds of ammunition.

Gee, it seemed like this McGruff the Crime Dog, who urged us to "take a bite out of crime" went beyond biting. What, was Morales getting ready to start his own war? A grenade launcher?

And I thought the pot types were mellow and didn't need 9,000 rounds of ammunition.

Morales was recently sentenced to 16 years in jail. I don't even want to know what he's going to take a bit out of when he's in the slammer.

Fox News On The Hunt For Those Dastardly Anti-Business Kids Movies. This Time: Lego.

Thank goodness for Fox News, and Fox Business News for once again rescuing the kids of This Great Nation from a movie that that could encourage the innocent children to not fawn over billionaire corporate executives.

Fox Business News says "The Lego Movie"
is indoctrinating our kids into hating CEOs
and the American Way of Life!  

As we all well know, we must teach our children to expect slave wages and to be expected to work 100 hours a week as adults so those poor unfortunate billionaires can become trillionaires.

But it turns out,  Fox Business News has uncovered the latest evil plot by those evil Hollywood liberals. It's in the children's feature "The Lego Movie."

I haven't seen the movie, so I might be a little fuzzy on the facts, but apparently, a villian in the movie runs some sort of corporation.

Charles Payne of Fox Business News is pained that the villian is, Sigh! once again a CEO. Says he:

"Why is the head of a corporation, where they hire people, people go to work, they pay their rent, their mortgage, they put their kids through college, they feed their families, they give to charities, they give to churches - why would the CEO be an easy target?" Payne wondered.

Um, maybe because the standard movie plot device is the main characters triumph over someone or something much more powerful than they, and CEOs tend to be powerful?

Yeah, I know, that's my Marxism or something talking. (Never mind that I'm pretty much a card carrying Capitalist. I just not capitalist enough for our friend Charles Payne.)

I think Payne just wants to ignore the fact, that a zillion commentators have noted before I got around to it here:

Not to be Captain Obvious, but the movie is in part one great big advertisement for Legos. Presumably the CEO of the company that makes Legos thought it was a swell idea to tie his product in with a popular movie.

It worked. "The Lego Movie" is boffo at the box office, Lego is going to sell stuff hand over fist, he's going to make a lot of money, presumably the workers at Lego are thusly going to keep their jobs, their houses and will feed their families.

Capitalism wins and the CEO of Lego is a hero! Hurray!

Fox Business has been on the patrol a lot in recent years guarding us from such Marxist indoctrination or our children in the form of movies like "The Lorax,"  "The Muppet Movie" and "Wall-e."

Back in 2012, Lou Dobbs at Fox Business News had this (comical, at least to me!) take on the dangers of "The Lorax."

"Hollywood is once again trying to indoctrinate our children," Dobbs warned.

See! I told you the Marxist were indoctrinating our children!

Go on, Lou:

Lou Dobbs said The Lorax was "demonizing the 1% and espousing green energy policies"

Green energy policies! Oh, the EVIL! God forbid our children grow up and get well paying jobs making wind turbines and solar energy installations!

Then those kids working on wind turbines and solar energy will get decent paychecks because the CEOs of the wind and solar companies had the smarts to create these companies because they, are, um, Capitalists.

Hmmm.

We also had the Great Muppet Wars of 2011, when Fox News said "The Muppet Movie" demonized the oil industry.

(The Muppets did it in a sneaky way, too, by not actually mentioning the oil industry in the movie, but still, the subversion was there. Fox News says so)

And this did turn into a war, especially when Miss Piggy responded to Fox News by saying the anti-oil charge against The Muppet Movie was "almost as laughable as accusing Fox News of being news."

Oh, those leftist Muppets will stop at NOTHING when turning our children into commies!

It is true CEOs are often protrayed as villians and rarely seen as heroes in movies, as USA Today points out. But aren't they being a teensy, weensy bit defensive?

After all CEOs tend to have a lot of perks that protect them from the rabble: Money, power and prestige among them. And after all, CEOs are a good source of villian ideas. Most are pretty honest, but a few are spectacularly crooked.

Jeff Skilling of Enron, anyone?

Anyway, as I said, thank goodness for Fox News. I'm sure they'll keep protecting us from that brand of capitalism the movie studios torture us with by selling movies and product tie ins and overpriced popcorn in movie theaters.

How To Advertise Your Business: Have Person Dress Up As Banana And Carry AK-47

Derek Poe, owner of a business called Golden Triangle Tactical had a problem.

Maybe Golden Triangle Tactical should have
hired a Minion, with their love of bananas
(and sometimes guns) to advertise their store.  

He was moving the location of the business and he need to let his customers know of the change.

Yes, he could have taken out ads in the newspaper, radio, TV and social media and he probably did some of those things.

But what better way to advertise the move than to have a teenager stand outside the store's new location dressed as a banana and carrying an AK-47?

That's precisely what Poe did to advertise his business move, according to television station KBMT in Beaumont, Texas.

Well, I suppose a murderous looking banana is one way to attract attention. To be fair, the AK-47 wasn't loaded and the banana teenager wasn't threatening anyone with it.

I'm not sure what a store selling guns and such has to do with bananas, but what do I know? As long as the people buying the guns are't bananas in the head

The teen was cited for violating a Beaumont city ordinance that bars soliciting business on the side of the road. But with an open carry permit, it looks as if the AK-47 was legal, so the kid's not in that much trouble.

Hey, and the advertising ploy worked. Now, with the publicity, a lot more people, including you, know about Golden Triangle Tactical.

It's So Much Fun To Pick On Wacko Politicians, But......

It's so easy and so much fun to pick on politicians who display their breathtaking ignorance for all the public to see.

Mary Helen Sears: Gays and Communist
and Satan, oh my!!  n

Today, let's meet Mary Helen Sears, a candidate for the Michigan seat on the National Republican Committee.

One of her greatest writings is something she came up with last March, called "End of the GOP?" which, among other things, says all the universities are taught by Communist professors and Satan is spreading homosexuality around and the Republican party must purge those awful perverts.

She has all the answers, and all the diagnoses you need to see what's wrong with America today.

Darwin and evolution "which is being taught to our gullible children," gave "rise to Hitler's Third Reich, Mussolini's Italy and Stalin's Russia."

She doesn't explain exactly how Darwin's evolution theory gave rise to these monsters, but if Sears says it, it must be true, right?

Also in Michigan is a nutcase equal to Sears named Dave Agema.

Among Agema's gems: "Have you ever seen a Muslim do anything that contributes positively to the American way of life?

He also seems to think the Russian way of dealing with gay people -- make them shut up and go away, and maybe get beaten up, though that's not officially sanctioned-- is A-OK.

According to Politico:

"Agema suggested in December that gays manipulate the health care system to get free medical care and said a controversial anti-gay law in Russia seems like "common sense" to him."

National conservative leaders like Republican National Commitee Chairman Reince Priebus don't want the likes of Agema and Sears in any party leadership positions.

But as much as I like to laugh at bozos like Agema and Sears, here's the scary part: There are enough super ignorant, rank and file Americans, certainly not a majority, but enough to make a difference, to put the wackos in leadership positions, ones that could have real impacts on our lives.

Someday, I would like to see politics get out of bizarre fantasy land, just for kicks and giggles.

I Hate Prank YouTube Videos But I'll Make An Exception Here

There's a trend on YouTube for people, usually young men, to prank unsuspecting people on the street, just to get their (often unpleasant) reactions.

Add caption

It's then put on YouTube, where lots of people view it, and they prankster makes money at the victims' expense. The victims, of course get no money.

Often, the pranks involve stealing from the victims (The items are given back) or threatening to hit them. It's mean and cruel and stupid and I hope the fad ends soon.

Having said that, some prank videos are actually positive and I'm fine with those

For instance, I did see one video that's going viral in which a fake parking meter reader gives tickets to motorists who don't know the meter reader is just an actor.

The motorists get annoyed, until they open the envelope to read their ticket. It's simple, but charming.

Watch: