Gays And Lesbians Should Not Have Birthdays, Ohio Baker Decrees

Wedding cakes have become the odd cliche and the meme in the ongoing battle between members of the LGBT community and so called religious bakers who don't want to make wedding cakes for said couples, lest that be conscrued as endorsing gay marriage.

The law generally comes down on the side of "bake the damn cake,"  because bakeries are public businesses and accommodations.

Generally speaking, you can't refuse to bake a cake because the couple is black, so by extension, you can't deny the gay couple.

Of course, if I were to re-do my wedding day, I wouldn't want someone who hates me and my marriage to bake the cake. (Luckily, my 2012 wedding ceremony to Jeff was perfect, and so there's no need for a do-over.)

Still, the law isn't completely settled and the War Of The Gay Wedding Cakes drags on.

An Ohio baker has managed to take this one step further and decided not to bake a birthday cake for a lesbian because of her sexual orientation. Her "religious" objections to baking the cake were downright creepy.

We're talking a simple birthday cake here, not a wedding cake.

Candace Lowe of the Toledo, Ohio area is a newlywed whose new wife had a birthday just two weeks after their lovely wedding.  She decided to surprise her wife with a nice treat from Take The Cake bakery in Toledo, says television station WTVG in Toledo.

Lowe ordered the cake from the bakery without mentioning her sexual orientation. Why would she?  Pretty much nobody announces such personal information when they stop by a store to purchase something.

Most shopkeepers figure a customer has come into the shop and wants to give him money, so what the hell, treat the guy or gal nicely.

The owner of Take The Cake bakery then did something strange once Lowe left the store. She looked up Lowe on Facebook.

Now, that's weird. Why would a store owner  take the time to stalk somebody on Facebook? You'd think she would just get busy baking the cake or helping other customers.

So we've come to this. Some people object to background checks on people wanting to buy guns. Here we have a background check on somebody wanting to buy a birthday cake.

Weird.

Anyway, lo and behold on Facebook, there was Lowe, smiling in photographs of her recent wedding to her wife.

Uh-Oh.

The bakery owner send Lowe a text, in a very cutesy childlike font that said: "I'm sorry. I just realized your (sic) in a same-sex relationship and we do not do cakes for same-sex weddings or parties.... I'm so sorry I just wasn't aware of this exactly until I saw your page. Take care:)"

Yes, the baker put a smiley face emoticon at the end of her bizarre, hateful text message.  That'll make everything OK, right?

Uh, no.

Lowe, undestandably upset, posted the message from the bakery on her Facebook page. It went viral, naturally. WTVG picked up the story and people around the world saw the weird story of the baker who wouldn't make a birthday cake for a lesbian.

Dan Savage, the writer, sex advisor and gay activist, had this good nugget to say about so called Christians who would agree with our Toledo baker:

"But it's not just our weddings they object to - it's our existence. Refusing to bake a cake for a same-sex wedding says, 'I don't think you people should be able to celebrate or solemnize your relationship because same-sex marriage is a sin.'

Refusing to bake a birthcake for a lesbian says 'I don't think your birth is something to celebrate because the world would be better off if you didn't exist.'"

This whole mess in Toledo will play out just like all the other disputes over gay wedding cakes and gay marriage licenses vs. evangelicals play out.

The owner of Take the Cake will get death threats. I never understand why people do that. Like sending a death threat will actually help the situation. Others will boycott the bakery, which is certainly a more understandable reaction.

Religious conservatives will howl in protest, saying we're taking away Christians' right to be Christian. (I guess refusing to bake a cake is a very Christian thing to do, and never mind nobody is taking away anybody's right to think gay people are awful.)

The religious right will probably launch a GoFundMe campaign to keep the bakery afloat, since so many people aren't shopping there anymore

The bakery's Facebook page is already chock full of people objecting to the owner's bigotry.

Then the whole thing will fade away and this little kerfuffle will be forgotten.

It probably should be forgotten eventually. But it's still a nice illustration of the bizarre lengths some people in society will go to practice their bigoted lifestyles and mindsets.

Toledo, Ohio Mysteriously Intact After A Mayoral Defeat, But Dumbledore Will Bring Us Wrath Of God

Opal Covey says God is about to destroy Toledo,
Ohio because she lost the mayoral election there.  

In this Sunday morning's news, I'm pleased to report that the fair city of Toledo, Ohio remains standing and functioning just fine despite what seemed would be an inevitable destruction by an angry God.

The bad news is God is about to smite the entire United States because Dumbledore from "Harry Potter" is gay.

We learned these two bits of news from incredibly reliable sources. Toledo's imminent destruction is foretold by one Opal Covey, a defeated mayoral candidate in Toledo.

Covey came in dead last among five candidates for mayor of Toledo this past Tuesday. She said she really won, but all the votes were stolen from her through massive fraud.

She knows this, she says, because she talks directly to God and he told her. God is apparently so pissed that he's going to destroy Toledo. (God and Covey have been having long conversations about this while both are speaking in tongues, apparently.) And Covey is so miffed that she will stand by and just let him do this.

It's now five days after Toledo's mayoral election. and the Ohio city does seem to be doing just fine so far. I checked the web page for the city's newspaper, The Toledo Blade, Sunday morning and the main headline on the homepage was "Popularity of App-based Rid Sharing Services Surges."

Unless the ride sharing is to get out of town before God's wrath,  I don't see signs of a Toledo apocalypse in the local media.

Pastor Kevin Swanson tells us God will smite
America because this guy, Dumbledore, is gay. 

But we shouldn't relax. As I noted Dumbledore is gay!

And God is going to wipe the United States off the face of the Earth because of it. Yes, yes, I know Dumbledore is a fictional character created by a British author, but you can't be too careful about trying not to annoy God!

We learned about God and Dumbledore just NOT getting along from Kevin Swanson, a decidedly anti-gay pastor who put on something called the National Religious Liberties Conference over the past few days.

We should trust Swanson, because intelligensia such as Presidential candidates Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee and Bobby Jindal attended the conference in which Dumbledore was brought up.

OK, not everyone agrees Cruz, Huckabee and Jindal are all that smart, but you get the picture. Side note: I wonder if these three candidates agree with Swanson about Dumbledore. Please, ask, national media!

Even if we escape the wrath of God over Dumbledore there are other major risks, Swanson tells us. The animated films "How To Train Your Dragon" and the super popular Disney production "Frozen" are satanic and will also earn us the wrath of God.

Swanson is best known as calling for the execution of all gay people (including me!) However, he tells us that we could still be saved if we repent.

Kevin Swanson pictured here, says he'd cover himself
in cow manure if he learned his son is gay.
I SO hope is son is gay.  

I'm not sure how to do that, though. I'm thoroughly sick and tired of the song "Let It Go" from "Frozen," is that enough repenting?

Although I like the Harry Potter series and Dumbledore, I'm not a rabid fan. Is that good enough? I'll have to ask Swanson about this.

Swanson has one idea. He did say that if his son turned out to be gay and married another guy, he'd cover himself in cow manure. He really did say this.

I'm not sure if that's the right way to go with repentence.

 I'm not a big fan of cow manure. Eventually, it decomposes and would be a nice compost for my garden, but I'm not ready to use it as an ingredient for repentence.

So I'll just take my chances and skip the repentence.  Just to be safe, though, I'll stay out of Toledo for the next few days.