Happy Birthday, Jeff! Loving A Husband In A Year Of Transition

Jeff helping to pick out a Christmas tree a few years ago.

Today is my husband Jeff Modereger's birthday.

I'm not going to tell you which number birthday or in which year he was born, because that would be rude. But it's a significant number. And it's coming in a year that is bringing big changes to his life, our life.

Jeff will retire from the University of Vermont this coming May. He's been at UVM for a quarter century. His departure will be a big adjustment for him, for the university, and I would argue for the community at large.

As he retires, he doesn't want hoopla. He wants to ride off into the sunset, as he puts it.  As if his retirement is some sort of end. It's actually a beginning.

Some people, when they get to retirement age, do fade away.  Jeff won't. He doesn't have it in him to just fade. It's one of the things I love about him.

True, he'll be home more often when he retires, which is a definite plus. But he'll still continue his career as a scenic designer, which has always been his passion. He's so good at it that he'll always be demand. Probably even when he's 100 years old.

His mother worries that he pushes too hard, and it's true Jeff works too hard. (Note to Lois Modereger: I crack the whip when Jeff starts to push himself too much, and so he's fine!) The retirement this year is not a sign of him aging, but it is a sign that he's finally wising up enough to slow down, just a bit.

I'm not surprised, but always stunned by the number of his students and former students who come to Jeff and tell him what a great influence he was on them, how much he taught them. I know that will continue after he retires. Because he will meet more people, and teach more people, and just make things good. It's his habit, and he'll never be able to break it, thank goodness.

Jeff's magic is that he makes everyone he comes in contact with a better person. That certainly includes me. I'm far from perfect, but every day, Jeff, through example, shows me and everyone how it's done.  As of this August, we will have been married seven years. Time flies. And I can't wait to experience the many more years I have with Jeff.

It's funny. Jeff has an eye for fashion, at least in a superficial sense. We'll tune into some show like "Project Runway," and he'll exclaim: "What is she wearing! Did she look in the mirror before she left home?!?"

Yet Jeff is completely out of fashion in a much more fundamental sense. It's not fashionable these days to have a sense of morality. To be honest. To do the right thing.   Jeff does all of these things, fashion be damned. Thank Gawd. Another in a list of a billion reasons why I love him.

So Jeff: Here's to another birthday. I love you so very much, and look forward to being with you as the years tick by.

This post has been sappy, yes, but so what? I'll even make it worse with this song, which reminds me of you. Here's Carly Simon to help me out here:

Birthday Gift From Portia De Rossi To Wife Ellen Degeneres Can't Be Topped

Portia De Rossi, left, recently gave Ellen DeGeneres a 60th
birthday gift we can all be happy about. 

My husband's birthday is today.  

Happy Birthday Jeff!!!!!!

I want to give him the world, but unfortunately, funds are tight. He's going to have to settle for something much smaller. Sorry, Jeff, I'm trying!

I do wish, however, I could give him a birthday gift like Portia De Rossi gave to her wife, Ellen DeGeneres, on Ellen's recent 60th birthday.

By the way, this is going to be a feel good story, because in this day and age, the more feel good stories, the better.

DeGeneres is a longtime fan of scientist Dian Fossey, who spent basically her whole life studying rare mountain gorillas in Rwanda. You might remember Fossey from the book  "Gorillas In The Mist."

Fossey was murdered in 1985, but her work goes on, thanks to lots of awesome volunteers and donations from people who understand how important Fossey's work was.

DeGeneres is among those who totally understands why Fossey's work and legacy is so important. DeGeneres talk show made a big deal out of her birthday, and finally "special guest" De Rossi came on to disclose what she bought for her wife for the big birthday.

Dian Fossey spend her life protecting African gorillas unti
she was murdered in 1985. American celebritites Ellen
DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi just ensured Fossey's
work continues. 

Because DeGeneres is such a fan of Fossey, De Rossi sprung for the construction of the Ellen DeGeneres Campus of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund. It's next to Volcanoes National Park in Rwanda, and this will be a part of a center for education, tourism and scientific research.

They also established the Ellen DeGeneres Wildlife Fund to study, protect and advocate for the world's most vulnerable animals and wildlife.

My husband Jeff is a total animal lover, especially dogs. An excellent way to judge a person is how they think of animals. People like Jeff are keepers because they love animals. People who have a soft spot for animals tend to be morally, ethically, emotionally beautiful. That describes Jeff.

De Rossi probably knows she's very lucky to be married to DeGeneres for the same reason.

Here's the very nice announcement of De Rossi's gift on the Ellen Show back on February 1:

Gays And Lesbians Should Not Have Birthdays, Ohio Baker Decrees

Wedding cakes have become the odd cliche and the meme in the ongoing battle between members of the LGBT community and so called religious bakers who don't want to make wedding cakes for said couples, lest that be conscrued as endorsing gay marriage.

The law generally comes down on the side of "bake the damn cake,"  because bakeries are public businesses and accommodations.

Generally speaking, you can't refuse to bake a cake because the couple is black, so by extension, you can't deny the gay couple.

Of course, if I were to re-do my wedding day, I wouldn't want someone who hates me and my marriage to bake the cake. (Luckily, my 2012 wedding ceremony to Jeff was perfect, and so there's no need for a do-over.)

Still, the law isn't completely settled and the War Of The Gay Wedding Cakes drags on.

An Ohio baker has managed to take this one step further and decided not to bake a birthday cake for a lesbian because of her sexual orientation. Her "religious" objections to baking the cake were downright creepy.

We're talking a simple birthday cake here, not a wedding cake.

Candace Lowe of the Toledo, Ohio area is a newlywed whose new wife had a birthday just two weeks after their lovely wedding.  She decided to surprise her wife with a nice treat from Take The Cake bakery in Toledo, says television station WTVG in Toledo.

Lowe ordered the cake from the bakery without mentioning her sexual orientation. Why would she?  Pretty much nobody announces such personal information when they stop by a store to purchase something.

Most shopkeepers figure a customer has come into the shop and wants to give him money, so what the hell, treat the guy or gal nicely.

The owner of Take The Cake bakery then did something strange once Lowe left the store. She looked up Lowe on Facebook.

Now, that's weird. Why would a store owner  take the time to stalk somebody on Facebook? You'd think she would just get busy baking the cake or helping other customers.

So we've come to this. Some people object to background checks on people wanting to buy guns. Here we have a background check on somebody wanting to buy a birthday cake.

Weird.

Anyway, lo and behold on Facebook, there was Lowe, smiling in photographs of her recent wedding to her wife.

Uh-Oh.

The bakery owner send Lowe a text, in a very cutesy childlike font that said: "I'm sorry. I just realized your (sic) in a same-sex relationship and we do not do cakes for same-sex weddings or parties.... I'm so sorry I just wasn't aware of this exactly until I saw your page. Take care:)"

Yes, the baker put a smiley face emoticon at the end of her bizarre, hateful text message.  That'll make everything OK, right?

Uh, no.

Lowe, undestandably upset, posted the message from the bakery on her Facebook page. It went viral, naturally. WTVG picked up the story and people around the world saw the weird story of the baker who wouldn't make a birthday cake for a lesbian.

Dan Savage, the writer, sex advisor and gay activist, had this good nugget to say about so called Christians who would agree with our Toledo baker:

"But it's not just our weddings they object to - it's our existence. Refusing to bake a cake for a same-sex wedding says, 'I don't think you people should be able to celebrate or solemnize your relationship because same-sex marriage is a sin.'

Refusing to bake a birthcake for a lesbian says 'I don't think your birth is something to celebrate because the world would be better off if you didn't exist.'"

This whole mess in Toledo will play out just like all the other disputes over gay wedding cakes and gay marriage licenses vs. evangelicals play out.

The owner of Take the Cake will get death threats. I never understand why people do that. Like sending a death threat will actually help the situation. Others will boycott the bakery, which is certainly a more understandable reaction.

Religious conservatives will howl in protest, saying we're taking away Christians' right to be Christian. (I guess refusing to bake a cake is a very Christian thing to do, and never mind nobody is taking away anybody's right to think gay people are awful.)

The religious right will probably launch a GoFundMe campaign to keep the bakery afloat, since so many people aren't shopping there anymore

The bakery's Facebook page is already chock full of people objecting to the owner's bigotry.

Then the whole thing will fade away and this little kerfuffle will be forgotten.

It probably should be forgotten eventually. But it's still a nice illustration of the bizarre lengths some people in society will go to practice their bigoted lifestyles and mindsets.

Debbie Harry Turns 70; Still Coolest Woman Out There

The ever-awesome Debby Harry turns 70 today.  

Yeah, it makes me feel old to realize that Debbie Harry, most famous for her role as lead singer for Blondie, turns 70 today.

Harry has always been so sexy and awesome that she comes the closest to turning this gay man straight. Not really, but still.

Love the spread of Debbie Harry photos in today's The Guardian. 

Debbie Harry  has always been the epitome of cool.

One song that sticks in my head today on her birthday is Blondie's "Atomic" Lyrically, the song is lame, but the tune is so atmospheric that you can't help but love it.

"Atomic" came out around 1980. Most of the time, when you see videos and images from 1980s, the fashion and look of everybody is laughably dated.

In the video, though, the people, including Harry, seem strangely fashion forward, if a little wonderfully odd. And those soaring vocals! Not to mention the cheekbones on her face!

Judge for yourself: (To watch, you'll probably have to click "Watch on YouTube to actually see it. )

Internet And Very Nice Human Beings Rescue 6-Year Old's Birthday

After a false start, Glenn Buratti ended
up having a really nice sixth birthday
celebration. Also, nice Minion, Glenn!  

I often whine and moan about all the awful trolls on the Internet, people who say and do the most vile things because they're scum buckets and just want to spread their dark clouds far and wide.

Like I said, scumbags.

But, the number of awesome people on social media seems to vastly outnumber the bad, hideous trolls.

Case in point: Glenn Buratti, 6, and his mother, Ashlee, invited 16 of his school classmates to the kid's sixth birthday party at their Florida home.

None of the kids showed up.

Mom took to Facebook and vented, talking about how Glenn, who has autism, was so disappointed and almost seemed permanently unable to smile after that, says television station WKMG

People saw the post and responded, big time. The Osceola County Sheriff's office did a flyover above Buratti's house with their helicopter. The celebration became a weeklong event, with neighbors, strangers coming over.  The local fire and police departments showed up with fire trucks and cruisers so Glenn could check them out.

Ashlee said she still hasn't heard from the parents of the 16 kids that didn't make it to the party. (I bet they're mortified now!) But it's OK. Glenn had a great birthday, thanks to the Internet and some kind people.

This all just makes it easier to ignore the online trolls, doesn't it?

I'll also put in added props because the video you see below shows Glenn holding a big toy Minion. Kid after my own heart, I'll tell ya.

Happy Birthday, Glenn!!

25th Anniversary Of Internet, And www.dumb.com

There's much ado today about the 25th anniversary of the World Wide Web, which we can all agree has changed our lives immensely.

The World Wide Web has also exposed incredible boatloads of stupidity, given what people say and do on the Internet. But again, we knew that, too.

To celebrate the 25th anniversary of stupidity on the Internet, I give you the image in this post. (click on it to make it bigger and more readable)

I can't verify if a person really wrote it and really believes the things he or she said. But rejoice! You're smarter than this person!

And happy 25th Birthday, World Wide Web!!  Time for me to go off and watch more cat videos.