Weird Alabama Lawyer Sues Supreme Court Over Gay Marriage; He Sufffers 'Mental Anguish'

Alabama attorney Austin Burdick says he's so
"traumatized" by gay marriage that hes suing
the five Supreme Court justices who favor it.  

I must confess I sometimes get upset by the way the United States Supreme Court rules.

For instance, I didn't like the Citizen United decision, which really opened up the doors more and more for money in politics.

Yes, it angered me, but, like most rational people, I got over it. I'll just keep voting for politicians who don't like Citizens United and who are trying to find ways to enact laws that get around it.

Other decisions by the U.S. Supreme Court I really like. Last year came the Obergfell decision, which granted the right of gay people across the United States to marry.

As a married gay man in Vermont married to an awesome guy, I LOVED that decision.

But I get it that some people don't, and will be voting for politicians who will try to find ways to make gay marriage illegal again. I don't agree with these voters, but hell, vote away. It's your right.

There are a few grandstanders though who apparently are so traumatized by the gay marriage decision that they are suing the U.S Supreme Court over the decision.

Well, at least one guy is, according to AL.com, an Alabama news organization.

Austin Burdick an Alabama attorney, says he's so traumatized that he's suing the five justices who voted in favor of gay marriage for $6 million.

That's a lot of trauma! It must really hurt to see gay people marry and be happy.

For one thing, Burdock said the decision violates the 5th Amendment, which preserves the right of people to not self incrimidate. I'm not sure why the 5th Amendment is involved in this case, since nobody is accusing Burdock of a crime.

Stupidity, maybe but not a crime. Stupidiy IS legal, after all.

According to AL.com, Burdick is also invoking the 14th Amendment to the Constitution. Burdick, in his lawsuit says:

"The 14th Amendment, which states that 'no state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges and immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive a person of life, liberty or property, without due process of law; nor deny any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws,'  has been rewritten by the five members of the court.

Again, I'm not following him here. I'm not sure how gay marriage is depriving Burdick of property, because no gay couple I know wants his stuff. Nor do any gay couples that I know of want to suppress his liberties. Burdick can still go to church, hate gay people if he chooses, hate gay marriage if he feels that way, and just go about his life.

But, maybe I shoudn't be so harsh. Some people are traumatized by the strangest things. Maybe I should sue Mother Nature because the weather became too harsh for me to work outdoors yesterday so I didn't get the things done that I wanted to do.

Oh, the TRAUMA!!

I wish Burdick all the best with his strange lawsuit, and I hope he's not too traumatized when he loses.

Anti-Gay County Clerk Is Milking The Martyr Bit For Fun And Profit

Rowan County Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis
is enjoying her role of rubbing her
"religious" convictions in all of our faces.  

UPDATE: 

This dumb clerk said she would wait for the U.S. Supreme Court to overrule all the lower courts that have in recent weeks ruled against her efforts to not issue marriage licenses to same sex couples.

The U.S. Supreme Court basically blew her off Monday, so now the ball is back in her court. She has vowed to go to jail rather than comply with court rulings.

The Martyr Complex again.

PREVIOUS DISCUSSION

A county clerk in Kentucky named Kim Davis is really milking her 15 minutes of fame, extending that 15 minutes longer and longer for the fun and profit of martyrdom.

Her schtick: Refusing to obey orders to marry same sex couples along with straight couples to comply with the June U.S. Supreme Court ruling saying there is a Constitutional right to gay marriage.   

True, not everybody likes that ruling, but if you're a sworn government official, you have to uphold the law.

Davis said God's law is more important, or at least her interpretation of it is. It goes against her religious beliefs to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples.

Fair enough. If her religious beliefs bar her from issuing such marriage licenses, then she shouldn't. However, even though she considers God's law more important, she still has to comply with U.S. law.

The solution would be to resign as county clerk if her religious beliefs conflict with her job. Several clerks across the nation have taken that route. Those clerks, I support. I don't agree with their stance on gay marriage, but they took the honorable way out. They can't do their job because of their religious beliefs, so they found other jobs.

The clerks who resigned stayed honest and true to themselves. Can't argue with that.

I CAN argue with Davis. Courts have repeatedly ordered her to issue licenses, but she still won't.

(In a funny side note, Davis recently issued a marriage license to a straight couple. But what she didn't know was the male half of the couple is transgender. His birth certificate lists him as female, and Davis failed to check it. Ha Ha!!!)

Still, Davis is having her fun with her anti-gay lawyers.

As Michelangelo Signorile notes, Davis' intractability is a win/win. She gets to be part of the Conservative Martyr complex, in which you win notoriety and probably money for being "persecuted" by those "awful homo-fascists"

The right wing politicians win, too. Because if Davis ends up facing criminal charges or is forced out of her job as county clerk, they can point to the false notion that Christians are being persecuted in this country, religious liberty is under assault, yada yada yada.

Which is bullshit, of course.

Judge David L. Bunning of the U.S. District Court for Kentucky's Eastern District said this about Davis' religious rights:

"The state is not asking her to condone same sex unions on moral or religious grounds,  nor is it restricting her from engaging in a variety of religous activites. ....She is even free to believe that marriage is a union between one many and one woman, as many Americans do. However, her religious convictions cannot excuse her from performing the duties that she took an oath to perform as Rowan County clerk."

An editorial in the Lexington, Kentucky Herald-Leader said it best about Davis and her lawyers from the conservative Liberty Counsel:

"Liberty Counsel chairman Mat Staver continues to insist that elected public officials have a constitutional right to pick and choose which of their government duties they will perform based on their religious beliefs - in other words, that public officials can use religion to discriminate against certain citizens. 

Nothing could be more un-American. What he is advocating would destroy the rule of law, a foundation of our republic. And imagine the chaos, given the wide range of religious beliefs."

But Davis, the Liberty Counsel and their minions don't believe in America as it is. They want us to live in a theocracy, fashioned on their stilted, weird Biblical beliefs. They will not be happy unless everyone in the nation has the same religious beliefs that they do.

That means Davis and the Liberty Counsel really are un-American, as that Kentucky newspaper suggests.

However, most Christianists never take not for an answer, so Davis and the lawyers backing her will keep pestering us.

Sigh.

No, Public Officials Who Hate Gay Marriage CAN'T Violate The Law

This Kentucky county clerk, (woman on right)
refuses to issue any marriage licenses because
she hates the idea of same sex marriage licenses.  

As a gay, married man, I was thrilled along with a lot of other people when the U.S. Supreme Court said same sex marriage was legal everywhere in the United States.

A number of other people were decidedly NOT so happy with this ruling, including a smattering of county clerks across the nation who are tasked with handing out marriage licenses, to straight couples, and now to gay couples.

The gay marriage ruling puts these clerks in a quandary. Do they violate their deeply held religious beliefs to hand out marriage licenses to Steve and Earl and to Becky and Cindy? Or do they refuse?

Frankly, I have a lot of respect for the few county clerks who have resigned their positions rather than violate their religious beliefs in issuing same sex marriage licenses.

Obviously, resigning from a job is incredibly disruptive, but if they choose to resign to live up to their  ideals, more power to them, even if I don't agree with their viewpoints on gay marriage. At least they are being honest and true to themselves, and that's a rare commodity these days.

What I don't like are the clerks who are trying to weasel out of issuing marriage licenses. When you become a public official, you are charged with upholding the laws. Even if it's a law you don't like.

If you don't like the law, you can work to change it, or you can resign from a job that forces you to obey a law you find disgraceful.

Some clerks have tried to get around this by not issuing marriage licenses to anyone, gay or straight. Like the county clerk in Kentucky who was video'd doing just that. 

Some of these refusnik clerks are probably trying to become these fake evangelical Christian martyrs.

You know the type. They are brought up on say, charges of official misconduct for not issuing licenses, and then they go to the Christianist talking heads and activists groups, and they become a prop to this idea that Christians are being "persecuted" in the United States.

As if anyone is taking away their right to their religious beliefs.

But beliefs have consequences. Mine do, and people might not like me for supporting gay marriage, and being gay married. I have to live with that. You can't be loved by everyone.

Plus, I can't imagine ever getting a job at an evangelical church, not that I would want one there.

Evangelical Christians are doing just fine in this nation, despite what some of them will tell you. These Christianists will say that gays have an outsized influence on public discourse, and that might be true.

But these Christianists themselves have an outsized influence on public policy, given how many of them are in public office, or lobbying those in public office. Or are annoying media pundits. Right, Todd Starnes?

The conservative groups are still trying to find ways to break the law by weaseling all of it, as noted in SCOTUSblog. 

Gay marriage will not be the end of Evangelicals in this country. Far from it. So they can stop panicking and get back to praying, if they so wish.

Do I Laugh Or Cry Over Right Wing Despair Over Gay Marriage?

Lots of people were happy over last week's U.S.
Supreme Court ruling regarding gay marriage.... 

I admit I've been pretty snarky the past few days about the over the top reactions among some conservatives regarding the U.S. Supreme Court gay marriage decision.

It started moments after news broke. 

The ever-reliable Bryan Fischer of American Family Association immediately released a seriers of melodramatic Tweets soon after the Supreme Court announced its decision:

First he compared it to the 9-11 attacks on the Twin Towers in New York:

"June 26, 2015. The day the twin towers of truth and righteousness were blown up by moral jihadists."

Then, oddly, he started channeling Don McClean, famous for the song "American Pie"

"I saw Satan dancing with delight the day the musti died in the United States of America."

I know I'm being too literal here, but I heard lots of music once the gay marriage decision came out. Happy partiers, especially gay ones, bring on the music in happy times. But what do I know?

Republican presidential candidates' were quick to follow Fischer and his ilk:

Bobby Jindal had one of the better ones:

"This decision will pave the way for an all out assault against the religious freedom rights of Christians who disagree with this decision.....I will never stop fighting for religious liberty and I hope our leaders in D.C. join me."

That's picking your battles, Bobby! Fight a nonexistent battle against an "assault on religious freedom." As if anyone cares what goes on in the church you go to.

....but Bryan Fischer was one of the right
wingers who was VERY displeased.

Predictably, the activists started blaming bad weather on The Gays. Any time there is bad weather anywhere, be it a storm, flood, drought, heat wave, cold wave or hail, it's because of The Gays.

If we gay people have so much control over the weather, why can't I make it stop raining so I can get some work done out in my garden?

Anyway, the day after the same sex marriage ruling, there was a pretty good thunderstorm in Washington DC. Imagine! A thunderstorm in humid DC in the middle of summer!

The storms caused some local flash floods, and Todd Starnes of Fox News or shall I say Fox "News" had this to say:

"Record breaking floods (editor's note: Not really) have inundated Washington DC just days after the Supreme Court decided they knew better than God. I seem to remember another time in history when there was a record breaking flood."

Uh, yeah, there have been other record breaking floods. I suppose the Biblical Noah's Ark one, if it happened, was probably record breaking.  And........?

The wackadoodles on the right are now expecting a cascade of new awful things now that gay marriage is legal. Tom DeLay probably topped them all, explaining there's a secret Department of Justice memo that will now legalize bestiality and pedophilia.

He hasn't offered any proof, but hey, trust him! Why not?

This all leads me to a Washington Monthly article by David Atkins on why the religious right is so, SO upset over gay marriage.

From their worldview there are a lot of things to be upset about. Why gay marriage especially.

Evangelicals are also upset over abortion. As the Washington Monthly points out, if you go with the evangelicals' line of thinking, this makes sense. They think that life starts at the moment of conception, so if you kill off a small collection of cells that could potentiallly become a human being, yeah, I can see their anger.

However, if two guys or two gals marry each other, nobody gets hurt or killed. So we're good, right?

Wrong, apparently.

Atkins writes:

"An array of obviously specious slippery slope arguments notwithstanding, even under the Christianist worldview marriage equality hurts no one but the supposed sinners in question, who will either repent and be saved or not - but their souls are subject to their own God-given free will. 

It's not as if LGBT people haven't heard the 'good news' from evangelicals before; what they do with the 'information is their business and their potential salvation is entirely in their own hands."

So why can't evangelicals just keep giving their, ugh, 'good news' to us and if we don't take the bait, fughettaboutit.

Well, Atkins explains this in is Washington Monthly article, too:

"Some of the more unhinged on the religious right believe that God is actively protecting the United States because of America's religiosity, and God's grace will be removed by cultural coarsening. But again, so what? The United States is not Jerusalem. It's existence is obviously not part of any scripture or prophecy. 

In the supposed end times, the entire world is supposed to come under the spell of the Anti-Christ, which means that the U.S. will either exist or fall under Satan's dominion. In either case, the removal of divine protection isn't much to be feared, as it seemingly must happen sooner or later."

Atkins points out the radical right is not railing under other sins, like divorce, selfishness and hypocracy. Maybe because these yellers and screamers are hypocrites themselves?

I can only come to exactly the same conclusion Atkins did in his article. The right wingers are are using religion as, as Atkins puts it the "most socially acceptable veneer for exercising that bigotry. Which is really what it's all about."

Death And Love And Marriage And Grace

This political cartoon is becoming iconic
after last week's news  

Last week was a rare moment in which grace managed to overpower, however briefly, the crudeness that is the usual way things seem to go nowadays.

These moments of grace were ironically born of that crudeness.

The grace partly had its roots in the terrible racial murder of nine people gathered in a Charleston, South Carolina church for Bible study.

The grace came after years of hate and misguided "morality" lectures aimed at gay people, some of whom just wanted to marry each other. The U.S. Supreme Court said Friday that in our nation at least, these gay people had the right to marry.

The grace was visible in the majority opinion written by Justice Anthony Kennedy:

"No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater thatn once they were.

The White House Friday evening. 

As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage.

Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of the civilization's oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants that right."

By far the leading trending hashtag on Twitter was #LoveWins. For once, love DID win.  

There was something dignified, graceful in all those raucous celebrations in the moments after the Supreme Court announced its decision. Rainbow colors are fun, and they were everywhere Friday. Rainbow lights even bathed the White House, as President Obama celebrated the decision.

Obama had his well-reported graceful moment Friday - even singing "Amazing Grace" - in a scene that had nothing to do with gay marriage.

The President was eulogizing the Rev. Clementa Pinckney, gunned down with eight others in the Charleston church by a young man drowning in racial rage.

Said Obama, describing the actions of the killer and the hand of God:

President Obama reminded us about grace as
he delivered a eulogy in Charleston, South
Carolina Friday. He even sang "Amazing Grace"
to emphasize his point.  

"Blinded by hatred the alleged killer would not see the grace surrounding Reverend Pinckney and that Bible study group, the light of love that shown as they opened the church doors and invited a stranger to join in their prayer circle.

The alleged killer could have never anticipated the way the families of the fallen would reside when they saw him in court in the midst of unspeakable grief with words of forgiveness. 

He couldn't imagine that. He's given us the chance where we've been lost to find our best selves. We may not have earned this grace with our rancor and complacency and short-sightednees and fear of each other, but we got it all the same. He gave it to us anyway. He's once more given us grace."

We live in a world of Internet trolls insulting everyone in their path. We live in a world of blowhards on the cable news shows all screaming over each other and talking nonsense. We live in a world in which politicians, our so-called leaders, stir up divisions, hate, their own political fortunes at the expense of the common good. We live in a world in which activists preach hate, and encourage it, just  so they can line their pockets with the money given to them by gullible donors.  

Sometimes it seemed like the world was completely overrun with this dark scenario that I just described.

Sure enough, by the time I woke up Saturday morning, it was back to the usual awfulness in the world. A few dozen tourists had been killed by an attacker at a Tunisian hotel.  They're still searching for an escaped killer in the Adirondack wilderness. The blowhards were back on cable news. The Internet trolls ranted unimpeded.

However, the wonderful, graceful moments so many people show on Friday proved once again that good will is not dead. In the darkness of our media, political and social landscape, there are bright, inviting pockets of light.

Friday proved that.

It's time to embrace that light. With grace and love. #LoveWins.

Proud To Be An American; Proudly Gay And Married

The Gay Men's Chorus of DC react perfectly
to Friday's U.S. Supreme Court decision.  

I'm sure nobody is surprised that my husband and me were thrilled by Friday's U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing same sex marriage in all 50 states.

Where I live in Vermont, it's been legal for years. Jeff and I will celebrate our third (already!) wedding anniversary on August 26.

Of course, now it's nice to, say, travel to visit relatives in South Dakota, and if anything happens to one of us, we can still be together no matter what.

I might have more to say on this subject in an upcoming blog post, but for now, I'll let the Gay Men's Chorus of DC  do the talking singing with their reaction in front of the U.S. Supreme Court decision was handed down Friday.

All I can say is, Jeff and I concur with this group:

Lesbian Couple FINALLY Get To Marry After 72 Years Together

Vivian Boyack and Alice Dubes getting married
in Davenport, Iowa Saturday. Photo by Thomas Geyer  

A big shout out and congratulations to Vivian Boyack and Alice Dubes who got married in Davenport, Iowa last weekend.

They probably broke the record for the longest courtship before a marriage. Boyack, 91, and Dubes, 90, have been together for 72 years, says the Quad City Times. 

I'm sure the happy couple would have gotten married many years ago, but of course gay marriage has only recently become legal.

Still, it's nice to see the couple finally tied the knot at the First Christian Church in Davenport.

According to the Quad City Times:

"Surrounded by family and a small group of close friends, the two held hands as the Rev. Linda Hunsaker told the couple that, 'This is a celebration of something that should have happened a very long time ago.'"

More from the Times about the couple:

"Over the years, the two have traveled to all 50 states, all the provines of Canada and to England twice. 

'We've had a good time,' Dubes said. Boyack added it takes a lot of love and work to keep a relationship going for 72 years."

Here's hoping the couple have many more happy years together.

An Oregon Judge's Gay Marriage Ruling Is Almost Old Hat, His Written Rationale Takes Eloquence To A New Level

U.S District Court Judge Michael McShane's
 ruling in favor of gay marriage in Oregon
was Constitutionally sound, but the eloquence
of his ruling was the best part.  

Today, U.S. District Court judge Michael J. McShane ruled that Oregon's ban on same gender marriages is unconstitutional.  

Which isn't a surprise, since a slew of judges have ruled in recent months that such bans violate the Constitution's guarantees of equal protection.

The Oregon ruling today means gay marriages started there today. Nice to see Oregon join the fold.

How McShane ended his written ruling, dated today, is something to behold, however. I have never seen anyone explain it better:

"My decision will not be the final word on this subject, but on this issue of marriage, I am struck more by our similarities than our differences. I believe that if we can look for a moment past gender and sexuality, we can see in these plaintiffs nothng more or less than our own families.

Families who would expect our Constitution to protect, if not exalt, in equal measure. With discernment we see not shadows lurking in closets or the stereotypes of what was once believed; rather, we see families committed to the common purpose of love, devotion and service to the greater community.

Where will this all lead? I know that many suggest we are going down a slippery slope that will have no moral boundaries. To those who truly harbor such fears, I can only say this: Let us look less to the sky to see what might fall; rather, let us look to each other...and rise."

Amen!

I Never Get Tired Of These Gay Marriage Victories and Ceremonies

A Michigan judge struck down that state's gay marriage ban Friday and a number of couples in that state managed to get married before another court put the whole thing on hold. Which happened later Saturday when the Michigan Attorney General's appealed of the Friday ruling.

Jayne Rowse and April DeBoer react to the news
that a judge on Friday overturned a ban on same
sex marriage in Michigan. The couple were plaintiffs
in the case. Associated Press photo. 

Still, it seems that same gender marriage is spreading across the nation, whether you like it or not.

Gay marriage is kind of getting old hat now, at least in some parts of the world.

There's still a long way to go, of course, but I like that where gay marriage is established, it has sort of become just a routine part of the social landscape.

Still, I never fail to get a bit choked up when people somewhere obtain marriage equality.

And while the politicians still yell and scream that same sex marriage will bring about The End of Civilization, (without explaining exactly how that would happen), the actual marriages are small but intensely happy moments.

In Michigan, I love how many county clerks opened their doors for special Saturday hours to meet demand for same sex marriage licenses before Attorney General Bill Schuette (probably temporarily) shut the whole thing down.

Ingham County Michigan County Clerk Barb Byrum married 57 couples and performed 30 cermonies Saturday.  She said she opened the clerk's office for special Saturday hours because she couldn't sleep Friday night knowing so many couples wanted to get married, especially before the Attorney General stopped it all.

I know the religious folks don't like gay marriage, but these are civil ceremonies. Churches are still free to decide who they will marry and who they won't.

And I still haven't heard a convincing argument as to why gay marriage would be so damaging.


In the video below, the plaintiffs in the case watch as Friday's ruling in their favor pops up on their lawyer's laptop, and the lawyer reads what the judge has to say.

I love the reaction. You might need a tissue while watching this, though.

How To Humiliate Those Jerks Who Blame Disasters On Gay Marriage

A weird conservative politician in Britain named David Silverster attempted a tried and true response to the recent passage of gay marriage legislation in that country.

A storm slams Britain in December. A local
politician blames the bad weather on the
gays, as always, which has led to some
hilarious mocking. 

Silverster said devastating December storms and floods in Britain were God's wrath for gay marriage. Religious wackos have used that line in the United States for years.

In the United States, we just roll our eyes at such stupidity. But we should take a page from Britain, where comics and wiseguys invented their own weather forecasts to mock Silvester.

On person Tweeted:

Tonight for the first time
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining men. 

Of course, that's lyrics from the 1980s song "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls, which is particularly popular among many gay people. 

So many people have latched on to this song since Silvester made his dumb comments that the tune might once again reach Number 1 on the charts in Britain next week. 

Martha Wash, who was a vocalist for the Weather Girls, is not surprisingly, just fine with this.

"I'm flattered that after all these years, the song is still relevant (event if it is for storms and floods)" she wrote in an email  

Dean Burnett, writing in The Guardian, wrote a mock science article that indicated Sylvester had a point, because maybe gay marriage was disrupting local weather patterns and worsening global warming, which in turn was causing weather extremes:

"Logically, same sex marriage leads to an increase in the number of wedding. Weddings invariably involve a large number of people congregating in one place, which leads to a lot of body heat and warming, and this heat enters the atmosphere, increasing the air temperature and producing more warm fronts.

People also cry a lot at weddings. This likely to be even more pronounced at same sex weddings, with the added element of recently achieved equality making the events even more poignant. 

Tears are basically water, which quickly evaporate, thus adding to the water content of the atmosphere.

Weddings also typically involve a lot of alcohol, which makes people colder, meaning they're more likely to turn on heating systems when they arrive home, releasing more heat and CO2 into the atmosphere."

Finally, actor Nicholas Pegg did a deadpan mockup of a Serious Official Shipping Forecast that the BBC regularly broadcasts to a large audience in Britain.

In Pegg's high seas forecast, he warned of "Gays at Viking, Southeast Iceland and Bongo Bongo land" and alerted mariners to the risk of "homophobic outbursts, back peddling westerly and becoming untenable."

So, the next time some right wing wacko in the United States blames the gays for the inevitable spring tornado outbreak in the Midwest, we should be ready with our own forecasts.

I suggest using the song "Tornado" by Little Big Town, with the lyric, "I'm a tornado looking for a soul to take."  

 

DOMA Supreme Court Plaintiff Is Inspiring

In big huge Supreme Court cases, people who are hoping for some sort of landmark decision try to get a very sympathetic, smart and approachable plaintiff to be the Everyperson face behind the issue. Think Rosa Parks and civil rights.

Edith Windsor address the press and supporters on
the day of the big U.S. Supreme Court case on the
constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act.  

That was true yesterday, as the U.S. Supreme Court heard arguments on whether the Defense of Marriage Act is constitutional.

The plaintiff in this case is Edith Windsor, 83, whose wife Thea Spyer died in 2009. Windsor had to pay $363,000 more in estate taxes than she would have had she been married to a guy.

Buzzfeed  had a very nice, quick photo essay on Windsor's back story, and Spyer, who was the love of her life,  That is centerpiece of what is at issue before the Court.

The couple were together for 42 years. Shortly before Spyer's death, the pair finally got the chance to marry.

Here's the text of what Windsor had to say to the press, public and supporters on the steps on the Supreme Court as her big case, United States vs. Windsor, had its day in court::


"Somebody wrote me a large speech which I'm not going to make but there are a couple of things I wanted to say. I wanted to tell you what marriage meant to me.

"When my beautiful sparkling Thea died four years ago I was overcome with grief. Within a month I was hospitalized with a heart attack, and that's kind of common, it's usually looked at as broken heart syndrome.

"In the midst of my grief I realized that the federal government was treating us as strangers and it meant paying a humongous estate tax. And it meant selling a lot of stuff to do it and it wasn't easy, I live on a fixed income and it wasn't easy.

"Many people ask me why get married. I was 77, Thea was 75, and maybe we were older than that at that point, but the fact is that everybody treated it as different. It turns out marriage is different.

"I've asked a number of long-range couples, gay couples who they've got married, I've asked them: 'Was it different the next morning and the answer is always: 'Yes'.' It's a huge difference.

"When our marriage appeared in the New York Times we heard from literally hundreds of people, all congratulating us and sending love because we were married. It's a magic word. For anybody who doesn't understand why we want it, and why we need it, it is magic.

"We did win in the lower courts. Today is like a spectacular event for me, a lifetime kind of event and I know that the spirit of my late spouse Thea Spyer is right here watching and listening and would be very proud and happy of what we've come to."


The most poignant part of the Buzzfeed profile of Windsor is the part where we find out out she has a life size photo of Spyer in her house. Windsor leans up against the photo and the two women  "talk" about what's going with their court case.

I know from experience what Windsor was talking about in her statement yesterday. I got same sex married in August. On one hand, everything stayed the same. Jeff and I kept living in the same house, kept to our same routines, kept loving each other.

But the fact that we were now married was a Big Deal. You wouldn't think a word would change a relationship, or at least my view of the one I'm in.

However, being married makes me feel special, and also gives me a sense of responsibility. It somehow makes our relationship that much more important. It shows the world that Jeff, and our union, is the most important thing in my life now.

And that every marriage, at least every successful one, is a precious pairing that has to be cherished. The glow of our happy marriage can only make the world just a bit better of a place for everyone. That's what I like to think anyway.

So yes, I agree with Edith Windsor. When I woke up the next day after Jeff and I got married, the world was completely different. My world, at least, had become a much more glorious place. Everyone should be so lucky.

Slowly, People Come to Terms with Gay Marriage.

I've seen lately too great examples of how the country is coming to terms with gay marriage.

It'll still be controversial for awhile and many people and organizations are clearly still trying to figure out how to place it within the normal fabric of life. They have to, because that's where it seems to be headed.

The front page of the Laurel Call-Leader
in Mississippi that caused such a controversy

The process comes in fits and starts, especially in conservative parts of the country. What happened recently in Mississippi is really interesting.

In the heart of conservative Mississippi, a local paper, the Laurel Leader-Call carried a front page story recently about a same sex couple getting married there.

Yes, I know gay marriage is not legal there, but it was a commitment ceremony, basically a marriage. One of the two women has a brain tumor, the couple worried time was short so they decided to go for it.

The paper did an article on the event because it was the first time such a thing had happened around Laurel.  They used the word "historic" in the headline, because nothing like it had every happened before in Laurel.

This being a particulary conservative part of the country, many Leader-Call readers were up in arms about the article.

The paper's editor, Jim Cegielski, was fed up with some of the reaction, and wrote one of the best editorials, at least in terms of journalistic integrity, that I've seen in awhile.

(In the above link, it's a bit complicated to get to the actual excellent editorial. Go up to where it says "Page 1, scroll down to "Page 4/5" then click on the editorial you see on the upper right. That's what you want to read.)

In it, he attacked the vitriol of some of the critics. The great thing about the editorial is it was an ode to free expression, and he kept his opinion of gay marriage out of it. Read the editorial and you still will have no idea what Cegielski's opinion of gay marriage is.

What he did attack was some strange thinking going on among people who criticized the article.
One line of attack was that the paper called the marriage "Historic."

And as Cegielski pointed out, it was historic, since it was the first time it happened in Laurel, as I've noted.

The most delicious part of Cegielski's editorial was when he slammed people who worried about children who would see the gay marriage article.

"We have stories about child molesters, murders and all kinds of vicious, barbaric acts of evil committed by heinous criminals on our front page and yet we never receive a call from anyone saying 'I don't need my children reading this.' Never. Ever. However, a story about two women exchanging marriage vows and we get swamped with people worried about their children."

According to media blogger Jim Romenesko, the Laurel Leader Call is now in the happy throes of a backlash against the backlash about the gay marriage story.

The paper is winning new subscribers, mostly from outside Mississippi and the Laurel area. So many people are looking at the paper's web site that it crashed late last week. (It appears to be fixed now)

All because an editor was committed to his duty to inform, no matter if his readership liked the news or not. Well played, Mr. Cegielski.


Another Case Ends Well.

There was another gay marriage incident in the media recently that ended both well and fairly for all involved.  It worked out that way because people thought with their brains and heart, and not with mindless hate and bias.

As BuzzFeed explained it, photographer Anne Almasy decided to try advertising in Wedding Unveiled magazine. She didn't want to submit a standard issue groom in tux, plastic smiling blonde bride in white photo for the ad.

Instead, she used a photo of two women marrying each other. The photo is striking, and helps show off Almasy's artistry, which of course is the point of advertising in a publication like Wedding Unveiled. You want to show off your strengths in your advertising.

Said Almasy:

The photographer's advertisement that was rejected,
then accepted by Wedding Unveiled.

"..... I wanted to publish a photo that says something about me as a photographer, about my philosophy, about my heart for photographing these momentous (and often wonderfully ridiculous) celebrations.. I chose this picture because, to me, it says love. It says home. It says joy."

The magazine's editors politely declined the ad, saying they feared peple weren't ready yet for same sex wedding photography.   

Dismayed, Almasy wrote back, in an open letter:

"I don't shoot gay weddings or straight weddings, Christian weddings or Jewish weddings, good weddings or bad weddings. I photograph PEOPLE on their wedding day.

...

Are there people who might have been offended or put off by this ad? I'm sure there are. But this ad wasn't for them. This ad was for people who love black and white photography; this ad was for people who love a portrait taken in a warehouse stacked with bags of coffee beans; this ad was for people who love big puffy dresses; this ad was for people who love love.

My heart breaks because you could not see that this couple's wedding portrait is every bit as beautiful and valuable as any other couple's.

My heart breaks because you could not see beyond your fear, and into the warmer, brighter future that WE are responsible for building.

Someone has to be first.

Someone has to forge ahead.

Someone has to march.

Someone has to refuse to move to the back of the bus."

There was a fair amount of hue and cry over the editorial decision not to run the ad. Then Wedding Unveiled editors Terry Ireland and Brooke Thomas thought about it some more, in light of the criticism and questions they got.

They wrote on the magazine's blog:

We hope that you will allow us the opportunity to address an important issue that has angered and disappointed many people. We are incredibly sad that same sex marriage is still an issue in our society. When we were faced with the decision of whether or not to publish Anne Almasy's advertisement, we acted in a manner that does not reflect our personal beliefs. We truly believe that all love is beautiful and that all people have the right to marry.

You might ask that if we feel that way, then why did we make this decision? Honestly, we knew that everyone would not share our belief that all people have the right to marry. The issue is very sensitive and it is also very divided. We knew that it was possible that people would be offended if we published the ad and we knew that it was possible that people would be offended if we did not. We are so sorry that we acted out of fear and uncertainty. We had never been faced with such a decision and we should have acted with our hearts.

We are two women who operate a small business that we care deeply about. We love all weddings. We love all people and would never want to anger, offend or disappoint anyone. We are deeply moved by the outpouring of love and support for Anne. We are so sorry that we have disappointed you and we ask for your forgiveness. If Anne would still like to run her ad in Weddings Unveiled, then we would be proud to publish it.

Almasy quickly forgave the editors, congratulated them on their change of heart and submitted her advertisement.  She said:

"I cannot tell you how completely stunned, humbled and honored I am that you took teh time to truly read my letter and chose to side with your hearts. I couldn't have imagined a better outcome......I will gladly stand with you in this fight for equality, and would be thrilled to move forward with this ad in Weddings Unveiled.

All's well that ends well, at least in this case.

  

Now, Maine: Happy Tears at Every Gay Marriage State

As readers of this blog know, I married my husband Jeff on August 26, because we are lucky enough to live in a state (Vermont) that allows same sex marriages.

Every day, I wake up thinking I'm the luckiest guy in the world because I'm married to him.  Thanks, Vermont lawmakers!

Our wedding day was an emotional moment, to say the least, but there are other happy emotional days that have nothing directly to do with Jeff and me.

Every time a state passes a same sex marriage law, and the first couples get married, I confess to shedding a few happy tears.

Steven Bridges and Michael Snell get married in
Portland, Maine Saturday. Congratulations
to the happy couple!

So it was with Maine today. During the November elections, Maine residents voted in favor of same sex marriage. The first of those weddings happened today.

That very first Maine couple to get hitched was Michael Snell and Steven Bridges, wbo put rings on each others' fingers early Saturday morning. . The Portland Press Herald reports the happy couple has been together nine years and   had long hoped to get married.

They look like a great couple and of course I wish them, and all those couples getting married in Maine, long happy marriages.

I know people have religious and other reasons to oppose gay marriage, and they have the right to not like it. But, really, from my perspective, it's so hard not to have your heart melt when you watch those couples committing their lives to each other.

One of the most touching things I've seen when same sex marriage is legalized in various states is the crowds that turn out to wish the newly married couples well.

So it was in Maine. A large crowd gathered in front of the Portland, Maine City Hall.  Maybe the sweetest thing I saw out of this  crowd was when someone playing a terribly off-key trumpet led the hundreds of people singing, shouting really, the song "All You Need Is Love."

Indeed. The video made me get teary eyed again.  Maybe you will, too, when you watch it. It's so sweet.:

Just-Married Gay Couples in Seattle are Charmers!

Photographer Matt Stopera of Buzzfeed documenting the rush of gay couples getting married in Seattle after Washington legalized same sex marriage in the past week. He had an absolutely great idea.

This couple had been together 23 years before being
able to marry in Seattle the other day. 

He asked the many couples arriving to get   married to write in a notebook how long they'd been together. Then, each party in the couple was asked to write in the notebooks their favorite things about  their new spouses, then display the message for Stopera.

(For the record, if somebody asked me to do the same when I married Jeff in August, it would have been hard for me to decide which of his many qualities is best, but I probably would have chosen his deep compassion and kindness) 

Anyway, Stopera's photographs of the marriages in Seattle are absolutely charming and have had me smiling all day.

I loved how most of the reasons the couples gave either involved a sense of humor, or references to love and devotion.

This couple was together three years before marrying
in Washington State the other day

And for those who think gay marriage is so sinful and awful, the reasons people gave for loving their new wives and husbands in Seattle were the same the best reasons straight couples love each other.

Which isn't surprising.

When love blooms in any way, shape or form, just stand back and let it grow. We're all the better for it.