A 1946 PSA Will Make You Laugh While Reminding You To Cover Your Sneezes And Coughs

This old PSA from 1946 is a funny, good reminder of what to do.

For weeks now, we've been told to be very careful about sneezing and coughing with the coronavirus going around. 

It's serious, distressing stuff, as we all know.

To make you laugh a little bit, here's a British PSA reminding people not to sneeze out in the open, to cover your mouth when you have a sneeze coming on.

Here it is:

The New Artist "Bugsy" Has An Excellent Solution To Potholes

An example of "Bugsy's" pothole art in Spilsby, Lincolnshire, England

It's winter, and the escalating season of potholes on the streets is upon us. It will only get worse, much worse, as we move toward the freeze/thaw cycles of late winter and early spring.

The potholes wreck our tires, our suspensions and our patience.  Often, it seems, the people who are supposed to fix the potholes have a laissez faire attitude toward fixing them.

This might not be fair, though, because these potholes have a habit of reappearing seemingly minutes after being fixes.

Still, it's a problem for a lot of us motorists. Including one Karan Holland of Spilsby, Lincolnshire, England.

As Holland told the BBC:

"'On Friday night I was going along and hit a pothole which burst my tyre,' Ms Holland said. 'I took it to the tyre place on Saturday and (about $69 in U.S. equivalent dollars) I decided I'd had enough.'"

By enough, she meant she turned herself into a street artist. Which makes her one of my new favorite people. (By the way, I like how the British spell "tire" as "tyre." I like their way better).

More examples of "Bugsy's" pothole artwork 

She decided to spray paint images of bugs, yes, insects around the pot holes on her local streets. I admit, and so does Holland, that the pot hole bugs on Spilsby, Lincolnshire roads may not look like the work of an art major, but I do love them. You can see for yourself in the photos in this post.

The fact that it's a public service makes the bug idea a winner. "If I can save people from getting a bill like I did then it's worth it," Holland said.

The bug images, though crudely drawn, do give people a fair warning about the potholes. People in the area have taken to calling Holland "Bugsy" a play on "Banksy" the anonymous but celebrated street artist.

"Bugsy" kind of reminds of me of the famous "Pothole Bandit" in Burlington, Vermont, back in the 1980s who planted evergreen trees in some of the city's biggest potholes as a protest.

Back in Spisby, the Lincolnshire County Council is not amused by Holland's artwork. Says the BBC:

"In response, Richard Davis, executive member for highways at the council said, 'We appreciate potholes as a bugbear, but artistic acts such as this will actually slow us down when it comes to repairing them, as crews have to spend time cleaning the road."

Maybe, but Bugsy's artwork might inspire the council to fix the potholes before the artist can get to these buggy hazards.

British Town Overrun By Chinese Tourists

Chinese tourists inspect gardens around an elderly
man's house in Kidlington, Oxfordshire, Britain.

Kidlington, Oxfordshire, England is certainly a pleasant town, though there are plenty of nice old communities around Britain.

However, it appears Chinese tourists pretty much only go to Kidlington, and people there were mystified until recently.

It turns out, Chinese tourists love to see old English gardens in quiet English communities, and the guide books all point to Kidlington, says the BBC. 

Interestingly, the Chinese focus on a nice neighborhood of relatively modern houses, but ignore a historic area with thatched cottages and a church which is a short walk from the neighborhood.

Kidlington residents don't really mind the bus loads of tourists, but finally couldn't stand the mystery and took it upon themselves to learn.

The BBC gave a question sheet to Anne Clifton, who handed it to a woman who turned out to be leading a particular Chinese tourint group.  The BBC then translated the answers.

The tour guide said Kidlington was on the itinerary because "we don't have (these) in China. Here, we are looking for the true sense of the country."

The tour guide said she loved the relatively simple houses and front gardens.

The BBC also said Baz Daniels, who has lived in Kidlington for two decades, got in touch with a friend in China to help solve the mystery.

Daniels said, "Kidlington is apparently being marketed by Chinese tourist agencies as a beautiful English village on the way to Bicester Village shopping centre."

Britains are famous gardeners and lots of villages there have gorgeous flowers and grounds. But for Chinese tourists, Kidlington is the place.

Boaty McBoatface Won't Explore and Study The Arctic

Unfortunately, this research veseel won't really
be named Boaty McBoatface 

Never conduct an online poll when you want to name something.

That's something the United Kingdom science ministry learned after they put out the poll to name the new $200 million (actual pounds convert) polar research ship.

As you might have heard a month or two ago, the winning name on the island poll was Boaty McBoatface.  

Which really isn't the most dignified name for a serious polar research operation.

The Boaty McBoatface idea came from former BBC presenter James Hand, who proposed the silly name, notes ArsTechnica. 

The idea went viral and the there you go.

However, British scientists with the Natural Environment Research Council decided it was best to renege on the idea of Boaty McBoatface, which is too bad.

On the bright side, they decided to name the boat RRS Sir David Attenborough, named for the famed British naturalist. Also on the bright side, Sir David Attenborough did get votes on the online poll, but it wasn't the winner.

More bright sides: Although the research vessel won't be named Boaty McBoatface, remotely controlled underwater vehicles will be given that name.

As ArsTechnica says, I hope they paint a dorky cartoon face on these underwater vessels. That'll scare the hell out of any submarine life up there in the Arctic.

Sir David Attenborough said he was honored the boat was named after him and certainly bears no ill will for partisans of Boaty McBoatface.

"I am truly honored by this naming decision and hope that everyone who suggested a name will feel just as inspired to follow the ship's progress as it explores our polar regions. I have been privileged to explore the world's deepest oceans alongside amazing teams of researchers, and with this new polar research ship they will be able to go further and discover more than ever before."

Maybe a U.S. research ship could be named Boaty McBoatface instead.

After all, the Boaty McBoatface crisis won very valuable publicity for the National Environmental Research Council. 

It never hurts to be silly. Even if you're a scientist.

British Couple Might Get Rich Off Whale Vomit

This weird, stinky lump found on a British beach might
be worth as much as $70,000  

A couple in Lancashire found something foul smelling on the beach, and could make quite a monetary windfall because of it.

Gary and Angela Williams were walking along a fairly remote stretch of beach when they found a piece of something known as ambergris, reports The Guardian. 

It's kinda of, sort of whale vomit. It comes out of bile ducts and intestines of sperm whales when they've eaten something sharp and hard and need help passing the difficult food.

Luckily, the Williams had read about ambergris, so suspected right away they'd found a rugby ball sized lump of it. They wrapped it in a scarf and took it home.

When it's found, ambergris stinks "It's a very distinctive smell, like a cross between squid and farmyard manure," Gary Williams told the Guardian.  

Oddly, because of the smell, you'd think the perfume industry wouldn't be interested in such a thing. But they are, big time.

Perfumers uses this stuff to make scents, presumably pleasant ones, last longer. Ambergris is rare, so people get into bidding wars to obtain the stuff.

The lump the Williams found might be worth as much as $70,000.

Which has Gary Williams very happy. "If it's worth a lot of money, it will go a long way towards buying us a static caravan. It would be a dream come true."

(For you non-British readers, a static caravan is a mobile home.)

I hope that nice couple in Britain, then, have fun with the potential bidding war.

Crime Fighting Kids Point Helicopter In Right Direction During Crime Manhunt

In this image from a British police helicopter, kids
on an Easter Egg hunt point the way, using their bodies,
toward two burglary suspects police were looking for.  

Some kids in Surrey, England found a quick way to fight crime while out on an Easter Egg hunt.

Surrey Police were chasing down a couple of burglary suspects and the National Police Air Service had a helicopter in the air looking for the two men.

Several kids, ages six to 12, accompanied by parents,  spotted the police helicopter overhead and correctly guessed the cops in the air were looking for the two men the kids had seen earlier.

The kids quickly got down on the ground in a plowed field and formed an arrow with their bodies to point the helicopter in the right direction, Surry Police said.

The helicopter crew steered in the direction the human arrow was pointing and spotted the two crooks. They relayed that information to Surrey Police on the ground, who quickly arrested the pair.  .

"The swift action taken by the group of parents and their childres was the sort of thing you would usually associate with an Enid Blyton adventure, but their ingenuity proved a great help for our crews," said Sgt. Paul Sochon of the National Air Service Police.

After the chase, the helicopter landed so airmen aboard could thank the children. The children responded by sharing chocolate Easter treats with the crew from the helicopter.

All in all, a great day for everyone, except the burglers.

Here's a video of the incident taken from the NPAS helicopter:

Jerk With Pinnochio Tattoo In Worst Possible Place Banned From Airline Flight

Tom Washington and part of his, um,
interesting Pinocchio tattoo.  

It seems like everybody has tattoos these days

Some of the tattoos are really awesome and creative. Others, not so much.

Then there's Tom Washington, 22, a British guy who was kicked off a Jet2.com flight and banned frm the airline for life for showing his, um, creative tattoo to other passengers aboard a recent flight.

That tattoo of Pinocchio , as the Grimsley Telegraph in England delicately puts it, is "located in his pubic area."

You'll never guess what the tattoo of Pinocchio's nose is on Washington.

Let's really not go there.

It didn't help that Washington is the life of the party, of sorts. Not a party I'd necessarily want to go to, but a party guy nonetheless.

He and about 20 of his friends boarded the flight dressed as female Jet2.com flight attendants.

Here's how Washington described the scene as the May 1 flight got ready to take off.

"I got up up but because my jacket was too tight, it exposed my chest which I had covered with a bra." 

How considerate!

He goes on about the next moment, when the flight crew typical gives the pre-flight safety speech:

"I then proceeded to 'help' the cabin staff with the talk using a sex toy. There were some old men on the plane as well and they were a laugh. The lads mentioned I had a tattoo of Pinocchio which I showed them and that was the point when the manager took my passport."

Yeah, the flight crew was probably afraid of what Washington would do next. God forbid if somebody on the plane started talking and not telling the truth.

I wonder (not obsessively!) if Washington has a sexual fetish with that tattoo. Can you hear him with some gal or guy, depending on his sexual orientation: "Oh, baby, lie to me, just don't tell me the truth, I'll lie to you, too. Oh yes, more lies, yes, yes, YES!!!"

I also hope I'm never anywhere near Washington when the Eurythmics song "Would I Lie To You" starts playing.

This guy should also stay away from politicans, too. Especially American ones.

And of course, we'd likely hear this sentence uttered by somebody meeting this guy: "Are you lying to me or are you just happy to see me?"

NOT The Way To Do Autumn Clean Up

The claim is, it's more efficient to pluck autumn
leaves off trees one by one, rather than raking them up later.  

I'll admit it's a fair amount of work getting your yard in order in the autumn.

You need to rake up the leaves, empty the planters, cut back the frost-bitten perennials, mulch the cold-sensitive plants and put the gardens to bed. It's quite a task.

That said, I don't think the House of Commons in London quite has the knack for efficient autumn clean-up, to put it mildly.

According to the Guardian, a gardener was ordered to remove yellow leaves, one by one, from a circle of lime trees on the Commons rather than raking them up once they fall. 

The logic is pretty, um creative.

Parliamentary authorities claim asking the gardener to remove leaves manually from the trees is have defended their decision to ask a gardener to remove each leaf manually from trees because it's more efficient than raking them up.

Huh?

It must take forever to remove leaves from trees one by one. Raking can be done in even a large yard in one afternoon. And don't landscaping companies in England have leaf blowers? Judging from the size of the yard where they're picking leaves off the trees, it looks like a two or three hour job to remove leaves once they've fallen off the trees.

I also noticed that despite the gardener's efforts, a number of leaves had already fallen onto the grounds. Somebody's going to rake them up anyway.

But a Commons spokesman doubled down, says the Guardian:

"If we waited for the leaves to fall off it would waste a lot of time raking them up. It is more time efficient."

"It is not possible to separate the cost of removing leaves from the trees in New Palace Yard from the wider cost of the gardening contract. The leaves are removed each winter as a more time-efficient alternative to raking fallen leaves."

Um, wouldn't raking leaves just be part of one big gardening contract? Most landscapers and gardeners I know either charge by the hour, or sign a contract for one season to do all the necessary yard work, including raking leaves.

An alternative explanation makes a little more sense

Here's a report from the BBC:

"Gardener Annabel Honeybun told The Daily Telegraph that the procedure was necessary. 

'I am not picking leaves off the trees,' she said. 'I am cutting them individually down to the second bud so they keep their shape.'

'I wouldn't pick leaves off. These lime trees are so old and they have not been 'pleached' for years, so we have to keep their shape.' " 

Pleached? I have never heard that gardening term before, at least in terms of leaves. And I am a gardener, though I admit I'm not the world's leading gardening expert.

I know pleaching refers to interweaving branches and vines for a hedge or arbor. 

Although all the media in Britain have covered this story, it almost seems like a hoax to me. I love the name of the gardener: Annabel Honeybun.

And I can't believe anyone would be so stupid as to remove leaves by hand.

But then, humans have always found creative new ways to be truly bizarre, so there you go.

Worst Family Dynamic: Woman Calls Caterer To Cancel Brother's Wedding

Somehow, I think things are a little tense between Ann Duffy, 50, of Plymouth, England and her brother David Geatrex.

You have to admire Ann Duffy's persistence
in trying to stop her brother's marriage  

Last fall, Geatrex was getting ready to marry a woman named Sandra, the love of his life.

Duffy called the people putting on the wedding, and pretending to be Sandra, said she was canceling the wedding, according to the BBC.

The BBC continues "She called her brother David Geatrex and told him 'You had better put this on speakerphone. I have saved you from a divorce. I have cancelled your wedding. Would you like to send you the confirmation email?'

THAT didn't go over well, that's for sure.

The BBC said Duffy had a strained relationship with her sister in law (You think?) and was trying to prevent her brother from marrying a woman she disliked.

Duffy told police she did not mean to cause her brother distress, only Sandra.

Seems the brother IS distressed, though, so I guess that didn't work out.

Luckily, David and Sandra were able to contact the wedding company, get their bookings reinstated and were married as planned on their chosen date.

My guess is Duffy didn't show up to the wedding.  Which is probably a good thing. We have no reports of any trouble at David and Sandra's wedding, so all's well that ends well.

For her trouble, Duffy was jailed for eight weeks and has an indefinite restraining order forcing her to stay away from Sandra, which probably is the smart way to go.

The only question is, what fun things does Duffy have planned for the happy couple's first anniversary?

How To Humiliate Those Jerks Who Blame Disasters On Gay Marriage

A weird conservative politician in Britain named David Silverster attempted a tried and true response to the recent passage of gay marriage legislation in that country.

A storm slams Britain in December. A local
politician blames the bad weather on the
gays, as always, which has led to some
hilarious mocking. 

Silverster said devastating December storms and floods in Britain were God's wrath for gay marriage. Religious wackos have used that line in the United States for years.

In the United States, we just roll our eyes at such stupidity. But we should take a page from Britain, where comics and wiseguys invented their own weather forecasts to mock Silvester.

On person Tweeted:

Tonight for the first time
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining men. 

Of course, that's lyrics from the 1980s song "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls, which is particularly popular among many gay people. 

So many people have latched on to this song since Silvester made his dumb comments that the tune might once again reach Number 1 on the charts in Britain next week. 

Martha Wash, who was a vocalist for the Weather Girls, is not surprisingly, just fine with this.

"I'm flattered that after all these years, the song is still relevant (event if it is for storms and floods)" she wrote in an email  

Dean Burnett, writing in The Guardian, wrote a mock science article that indicated Sylvester had a point, because maybe gay marriage was disrupting local weather patterns and worsening global warming, which in turn was causing weather extremes:

"Logically, same sex marriage leads to an increase in the number of wedding. Weddings invariably involve a large number of people congregating in one place, which leads to a lot of body heat and warming, and this heat enters the atmosphere, increasing the air temperature and producing more warm fronts.

People also cry a lot at weddings. This likely to be even more pronounced at same sex weddings, with the added element of recently achieved equality making the events even more poignant. 

Tears are basically water, which quickly evaporate, thus adding to the water content of the atmosphere.

Weddings also typically involve a lot of alcohol, which makes people colder, meaning they're more likely to turn on heating systems when they arrive home, releasing more heat and CO2 into the atmosphere."

Finally, actor Nicholas Pegg did a deadpan mockup of a Serious Official Shipping Forecast that the BBC regularly broadcasts to a large audience in Britain.

In Pegg's high seas forecast, he warned of "Gays at Viking, Southeast Iceland and Bongo Bongo land" and alerted mariners to the risk of "homophobic outbursts, back peddling westerly and becoming untenable."

So, the next time some right wing wacko in the United States blames the gays for the inevitable spring tornado outbreak in the Midwest, we should be ready with our own forecasts.

I suggest using the song "Tornado" by Little Big Town, with the lyric, "I'm a tornado looking for a soul to take."  

 

On Veteran's Day, WWII Hero Gets A Proper Sendoff

You've probably never heard of Harold Percival, who served in the RAF bomber command for Britain in World War II.

Harold Percival, and his obit seeking people
to attend his funeral.  

Percival died last month in Britain at the age of 99.  He was pretty much alone, and there are really no surviving family members to see him off.

His obituary had a lot of hearts skipping a beat, with this line: "Any service personnel who can attend his funeral service will be appreciated."

There are few things worse than the passing of a veteran remaining unnoticed, unmarked and ignored.

So a man named Sgt. Rick Clement did what many people do in situations like this. He took to social media and asked for help.

According to the Blackpool Gazette in Britain, Clement, who lost both legs serving in Afghanistan wrote this on his Facebook wall:

"I need a big favour from ay military or ex-serving members. This fallen soldier at 99-years old is having a funeral on Monday and he has no family to attend. If you're in the area give him the send off he deserves. This guy needs and deserves your help."

A big crowd in Britain braves the rain
to bid an Armistice Day farewell to
RAF World War II veteran Harold Percival,
who died recently at age 99. dd caption

Yes, he does.

Of course, adding to the poignancy of the situation is, it's Armistice (or Veterans) Day, when we give thanks to people who made the world safe for us.

Social media being what it is, or what it can be, would people respond?

I'm happy to report that yes, they did turn out in droves.  In a video that makes me and my eyes think it got awfully dusty in here all of a sudden, hundreds of people ignored a cold rain and turned up at Percival's memorial service.

I think what's really going on here is a lot of people want to thank all veterans for their service to us all. Percival is an honorable, cherished veteran who can help us do just that.

Thank you, veterans.

Here's what the scene looked like at Percival's funeral today:

Is Britain's Headbutting Cheese Toastie Fighter the Country's Worst and Laziest Man?

You can always count on Britain's Daily Mail to provide us with way to wordy, but highly entertaining news headlines that beg the reader to continue on to the article.

The latest is this: "Love Rat Dad of Nine Children to Eight Women Who Headbutted Ex-Girlfriend in Row Over Cheese Toastie Jailed For Just 20 Days."

Worl'd worst father? Keith MacDonald of Britain

Wow, this guy leads a complicated life. When he's not screwing around without protection, he's fighting or doing a messy job of eating a cheese toastie. I'm glad my life isn't that complex.

Actually, it gets worse. Subsequent reports indicate this guy, Keith McDonald, fathered 15 kids by 14 women, and doesn't really support any of them, according to the Mirror

Supposedly, two other women are pregnant by this (alleged!) loser.

Now, I know there are some highly unfunny issues here. Domestic violence, irresponsible parenthood, irrationality.

But you can't resist the complete awful train wreckiness of the guy. The girlfriend in the cheese toastie incident said she just "hoovered" the carpet when he got cheese toastie crumbs all over the place, and that's what started the latest fight.
He did get that 20 day sentence for the assault over the cheese toastie. What the hell is a cheese toastie anyway?

A larger issue: Hasn't this guy ever heard of a condom? I know he doesn't have much money, having spent all his cash on cheese toasties, but condoms aren't that expensive.  He tells reporters he doesn't want to "get the snip"

He also tells reporters: "I can't wear a condom. I just don't like it."

Well, I don't like you, either, Keith.

Ladies, if you want my opinion, you can do better than this guy. Anybody can do better than this guy. He's not even good looking, for gawd sakes!

He's unemployed, too, according to reports. The Mirror says he told them he doesn't want to get a job "because it gets boring."

Now, he's supposedly finally being investigated by the Child Support Agency. And shouldn't somebody be trying to get him to find a job? If he's got the energy to have all that sex, he's got the energy to work, even if the job is boring.

Then the unemployment benefits could instead go to somebody who really can't work over there in Britain. What a concept!

MacDonald, 25, has been well known in the British press for a few years now. It's shocking that nobody has cracked down on him.

I don't buy some conservatives' argument that everyone who gets any form of social welfare is a lazy bum, but this guy proves that a few, at least in Britain, certainly are pretty much worthless sloths, at least if the media reports about MacDonald are to be believed.

If I were a British taxpayer, I'd be at MacDonald's house, shaking him down for a partial refund on my taxes.

Too bad stupidity isn't a crime in Britain. If what all the tabloids say about MacDonald is true, he would get a life sentence.