World's Worst Aunt Loses Lawsuit Against Her Nephew

Jennifer Connell said her
eight year old's over-excited hug
caused her to break her wrist.
So she sued the kid.  

UPDATE: 

OK, there's a chance me and the rest of the world were unfair to this aunt who sued her nephew because his big greeting four years ago caused her to fall and break her wrist.

According to her lawyers, Jennifer Connell really didn't want to sue her nephew, but the homeowner's insurance company of her nephew's parents forced the issue.

Their insurance company was Travelers. They offered to pay Connell a whopping $1.00. When she objected, Connecticut law makes her, and others in that situation to sue whoever caused the injury.

In this case, it was the nephew.

Yeah, Connell should have realized the optics of this situation looked really bad, and maybe tried, I don't know, GoFundMe.

But still, the insurance company is a total villian in this case, too. Probably more of a villian than Connell.

Of the verdict in which jurors awarded Connell no money. "We think the verdict speaks for itself. We don't have anything to add about this case."

That's because Travelers wants to make sure all the negative publicity is on Connell, not them.

I have to agree with the snarky web site Gawker on this one. As Gawker wrote:

"As horrible as a woman suing a child - a relative, at that - sounds on paper, a healthcare system where a corporation can force her into that situation to address her injuries sounds even worse."

Exactly. If Connell's lawyers' version of events is correct, Travelers was too cheap to reach some sort of settlement, and decided Connell's efforts to get some money was worth making her an Internet punching bag.

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About four years ago, Sean Tarala, then eight, saw that his aunt, Jennifer Connell, arrived at his birthday party

According to the Connecticut Post, this is how the scene played out:

"When he spotted Connell, he dropped the new bicycle on the ground, exclaiming, 'Aunit Jen! Auntie Jen!'

'All of a sudden he was there in the air, I had to catch him, and we tumbled onto the ground,' Connell testified of her encounter with the 50-pound boy. 'I remember him shouting 'Auntie Jen I love you,' and there he was flying at me.'"

Notice the quote from the Connecticut Post said Connell was "testifying."

That's because she was in court relaying this story. She was in court because she was suing her nephew, who is now 12 years old.

When Sean embraced Connell at that party four years ago and they fell, Connell broke her wrist.

Which is of course unfortunate.  But she sued the kid for $127,000 for breaking her wrist. Sean, who the lawsuit claimed was negligent for recklessly hugging is aunt, was the only person named in the lawsuit.

The lawsuit said that "a reasonable eight year old under those circumstances would know or should hae known that a forceful greeting such as the one delivered by the defendant to the plaintiff could cause the harms and losses suffered by the plaintiff."

The Connecticut Post reported that a jury spent all of 20 minutes reaching a common sense conclusion that Sean was not negligent and Connell would not be awarded so much as a penny for her troubles.

Those troubles, according to testimony, included the fact the broken wrist made it hard for Connell to hold a plate of hors d'oeuvres at a party.

Sean sat through court testimony looking kind of confused with his father at his side. Why wasn't Sean's mom there? Well, she died last year.

You'd think Sean had enough bad things going on in his life with his mother dying. You'd think Connell would think to herself that maybe Sean needs a loving woman in his life and an aunt would be a great help for Sean right now.

But, Connell couldn't hold a plate of hors d'oeuvres at a party because of that snotty nosed brat Sean hugging her and breaking her wrist. So just sue the kid instead.

Connell is of course now an Internet villian. A hashtag for her on Twitter is #AuntFromHell.  But she is widely known know as #AuntieJen a meme that's becoming as iconic for a adult who is mean to children as Mommie Dearest.

But she really should have seen that coming.

Marital Bliss: Guy Razes House; Neglects To Mention It To Wife

James Rhein is in trouble with a lot of people
for tearing down his house without first telling
anyone he was going to do it, including his wife.  

At the Marital Bliss lab here at Matt of All Trades we ran into one story that illustrates that maybe, just maybe, communication is essential in a successful marriage.

Then what do we know?  Because the guy in the following tale seems to think everything is just peachy.

James Rhein decided to tear down the house he shared with his wife, Diane Andryshak last Monday because the foundation needed too much work and he decided he wanted to start over.

In what might be a weakness in the couple's marriage communication channels, Rhein tore down the house, with all their stuff in it, without mentioning to his wife he was going to do that. 

Surprise! She was upset when she showed up and found that the house was gone.

Rhein doesn't seem to be all that talented in the communication department anyway. You do need permits for a big job like tearing down a house, and he did not obtain them.

He said he tried to get a permit Monday to take down the house, but government offices were closed due to the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday.

"So I took it down, that's it," NBC New York quoted him as saying. 

He couldn't wait just one more day to get a permit? The offices reopened Tuesday. Impatient little jerk.

The area of debris between these two houses
was the house owned by James Rhein's wife.
He tore it down without first mentioning to
her he was going to do it.  

Let's get back to the lack of communication with the wife, or lack thereof.  Why didn't Rhein tell her he was going to take the house down?

"I tried calling her, she didn't answer the phone," Rhein said.

Um, you couldn't leave a message and wait for her to return it?

Most married people, when contemplating something major like tearing down your house, have a little discussion with their spouse, at least, before moving forward.

Not to gloat, but something as simple as me burning my brush pile tomorrow, was a topic of discussion between me and my husband before I went ahead and got the burn permit.

Note that I got a permit from the town, unlike Rhein and his house. And I'm not even doing anything to my house.

By the way, ownership of the house was under Rhein's wife's name, not him, so it should have been her final decision on what to do with the building.

Rhein acknowledged his wife was initially upset, but he said, "But she's over it now... We're good. I'm a good husband, what can I tell you?"  

I think you're tellling us you're either delusional or a liar.  Judging from news report, I don't think his wife is over it, either.

Andryshak (the wife) said she's still in shock, given that all her medications, her possessions, etc were destroyed. Rhein didn't take anything out.

He says everything's replaceable. She said not everything.

Rhein is facing felony charges for not getting permits for the demolition, but I think that's the least of his problems.  Somehow I think his wife will have the last word on this. She'll communicate with Rhein all right.

In court, I bet.

He was behind in paying mortgage payments. Maybe he wanted to stick it to the bank? His wife said she was unaware of any financial problems that big.

Can this marriage be saved?

We at the Marital Bliss lab at Matt of All Trades don't think so. Many marriages can survive difficulties with communication, but Rhein's trouble with this issue takes it to a whole new level.

He's a First Class Dick. Our advice to his wife?

Run, Diane Run! Stay away from him. Except in court, where you should take him to the cleaners and get a nice big fat divorce settlement.

The CBS New York report on this is priceless. Watch:

Alabama School Kids To Fight Armed Intruders By Throwing Canned Food At Gunmen?

Most of us see these as a source of nutrition
or something to donate to the food shelf. A school
in Alabama thinks these are weapons school kids
can use against a school shooter.  

School shootings are right up there as the biggest tragedies this nation has faced.

One school in Alabama though, has taken the fear of such attacks to a ridiculous level. But at least there will be snacks.

W.F. Burns Middle School Principal Priscilla Holley in Valley, Alabama has instructed kids to bring canned food items to school, says television station WHNT.

Then, if a gunman barges into the school, the kids could throw their cans of food at the intruder, stunning him or even knocking him out until police arrive.

What could go wrong? The kids with the cans would be heroes.

Of course, I'm not sure a thrown can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup is much of a match for bullets, but the school district is going with this.

In a letter to parents reminding them to give their kids the weaponized food cans to bring to school, Holley wrote, "The canned food item will give the students a sense of empowerment to protect themselves and will make them feel more secure in case an intruder enters the classroom."

I'm all for teaching students to feel empowered, but I'm not sure the midst of a school shooting incident is the right moment for such lessons.

Maybe the kids should just get the hell out of there if they can when somebody with a gun shows up. The empowerment lessons can come later.

And if somebody pointed a gun at me and threatened to shoot, I'm not sure I'd feel that much more secure if I had a can of tuna to throw at him.

To be fair, the Alabama can throwing idea is part of a broader program called ALICE, for "Alert, Lockdown, Inform, Counter, Evacuate."

The ALICE program is used in a lot of schools, and much of it makes sense. It's good to have some sort of plan and training in case the worst happens.

Although a quick look at the ALICE, I didn't see anything about throwing cans at intruders, though.

I certainly hope there's never a school shooting in Valley, Alabama, or anywhere for that matter.

But let's just use the canned food for dinner, or for donating to your local food shelf.

No, I Don't Follow This Political Ad About Wedding Dresses, Either

This gleeful young woman models
the Republican wedding dress. Because apparently,
you can only explain politics to women
in terms of fashion.  

It's easy to find really, really, REALLY bad political campaign advertisements, but I think I found one that is a contender for one of the worst ever.

Introducing the Tom Corbett and Rick Scott wedding dresses!

The freaky ad, you can see it at the bottom of this post, was dreamed up by the College Republican National Committee, and s being used by at least three campaigns.

One of them is Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett of Pennsylvania, running against Democrat Tom Wolf.  Another is for  Florida Republican Rick Scott, who is seeking re-election victory over challenger Charlie Crist.

Republicans are trying to attract women to vote, and this is supposed to make women fall in love with Republicans.  Apparently they think this is the way to do it. Just compare your favorite Republican to wedding dresses. Or maybe imagine your favorite Republican in a wedding dress? Ugh.

Maybe the Republicans have this weird wedding dress ad because, after all, women are too fragile to think about things like the economy, foreign policy and climate change. They should only concern their pretty little heads with things like frilly wedding dresses and wearing perfect makeup on their face.

We'll let the menfolk worry about politics. They've done such a good job with it in recent years. (Cough, cough.)

Here's how Slate tries to describe this truly weird ad, which apparently is inspired by the television reality show "Say Yes To the Dress."

"'The Rick Scott is perfect,' says our blond and youthful heroine, Brittany, admiring herself in the mirror while wearing a wedding dress, which is thing Republicans heard women like to wear. 

Her friends ooh and aah. But mom, who is of course a harridan because she dared age past 35, has other ideas. 'I like the Charlie Crist,' she says as we see Brittany - an undecided voter, by the way - in a frumpier dress. 'It's expensive and a little outdated, but I know best.' "

Then the ominous music starts playing because you're supposed to be afraid of Charlie Crist. Or at least the Charlie Crist dress.

The Pennsylvania add featuring the Corbett dress is pretty much identical to the Florida one.

Bloomberg View has a great headline for this story, "Does This Dress Make Me Look Republican?" and also raises a very good point.

Cookie cutter ads, the same ones used by candidates across the country, might make voters think that the candidates are beholden to outside interests who made the ads and don't understand local values.

Or, they'll make them laugh really, really hard because it makes them imagine Tom Corbett and Rick Scott in hideously designed wedding dresses.

Maybe the two candidates can put them on, and have the contestants on Project Runway improve on them to make them presentable.

Here's the video:

Accused Bank Robber Has The Most, Um, Interesting Tattoos

Shawn Lee Canfield, 25, is accused of robbing a Merced, California bank.

Police responding to the robbery said they caught up with him as he was stuffing money down his pants nearby, says ABC 30 Action News in Fresno.  

He was taken to a police station, where more money fell out of his pants.

The television station also says the bank teller was taken to the spot where Canfield was, and she positively identified him. Which couldn't have been too hard, given the tattoos.

Which is by far the most fascinating aspect of this case. Just look at his mug shot in this post and be in awe.

Cute "Puppy Love" Budweiser Commercial Is Sign Of The End Times, Says Wacko

A lot of you I'm sure have seen that "Awww, Ain't That Cute!" Budweiser Superbowl commercial I wrote about the other day, the one about the persistent puppy's friendship with the Clydesdale horse.

This guy informs us that cute puppy/Clydesdale
Budweiser ad is a commercial promoting
the Antichrist end times.  

Well, guess what?  What we thought was an adorable ad is the Antichrist heralding the end times.

Seriously! William Tapley says so! I has to be true!

Who the hell is William Tapley, you ask? Glad you did! He's this guy who calls himself the Third Eagle of the Apocalpyse who finds all these signs of the devil and all that taking over the world.

I want to believe he's just being a parody performance artist, but I think he takes himself serious.

He's got a TON of YouTube videos that are hilarious. (He doesn't think they're funny. They're SERIOUS, damn it! But never mind)

Anyway, the Budweiser commercial: See, the little puppy keeps escaping from its pen.  He's a rule breaker. That's a sure sign of the apocalypse. The puppy befriends a horse, one of the four horse of the apocalypse, you see.

WATCH OUT: Cute puppy in this ad is
really the Antichrist!  

The puppy is eventually adopted by somebody, but as the new owner drives away,  the horse and his horse buddies (Horses of the Apocalypse!!) intervene and stop this.

The commercial ends with the puppy, which is the Antichrist, triumphantly leading the apocalypse horses back to the farm, where the hapless humans embrace them all and live happily ever after.

IN HELL!!!!

Which proves THE END TIMES ARE HERE!!!

This Tapley video about the Budweiser puppy commercial is awesome, but it doesn't beat the ones he did  few years ago, that "proved" the new Denver Airport was one big phallic symbol, another sign of the end times.

Those videos were the subject of a hilarious CNN/Anderson Cooper Ridiculist segment a couple years back. 

But today's End Times subject is this dangerous puppy Budweiser commercial (Which has 25 million hits already, Yikes! We're all being taken in by the Antichrist!)

So here's Tapley's hilarious YouTube take on the puppy commercial (Hat tip to Joe Jervis' JoeMyGod blog for noticing this)

World's Most Bizarre and Least Effective Hailstorm Damage Control Effort

There was a terrible hailstorm in Mar del Plata, Argentina recently, the worst in at least 30 years, according to media reports.

As the hail poured down in torrents, we have a video of a guy on his car, flailing on the car roof trying to protect it from the chunks of ice banging down.

I can't imagine he protected the car much. He probably did more damage bouncing around on the car roof than the hail did through denting the car's metal. But at least he tried.

And don't hailstones hurt like hell? Some of them in the video look as if they were the size of golf balls, at least. I got clonked on the head by a nickel sized hailstone a couple summers ago and it kind of stung. And that was one hailstone. Imagine a spray of high-speed golfball sized hail pummeling you?

I  like the moment in the video when another guy comes out with a carpet and tries to put it on the car hood to protect it, but Flailing Guy was flailing so much that he was kicking it off. The man with the carpet quickly gave up and gets out of the hail.

On top of all that, this video is going viral and the whole world will see how much of an idiot he looked like in this hailstorm.

Watch for yourself for instruction on how not to protect property the next time it hails.