Matt of All Trades blog, like the title suggests, is by a Vermont author and offers offbeat musings on pop culture, media, journalism, humor, weirdness, stupid people, smart people, my life as a journalist, landscaper, photographer, married gay man, dog lover and weather geek and more. It's run by me, Matt Sutkoski, a native Vermonter living in St. Albans, Vt.
From Daily What, here's a picture purportedly from a child assigned to send a letter to soldiers in Afghanistan.
What exactly is a good war? You want to win a war, of course, and sometimes war is justified, but given all the death and destruction, a war victory isn't entirely good.
I suppose a good war for an individual soldier is one in which said soldier returns home intact and in good health.
Anyway, the kid's thought is good. He or she just wanted to wish the soldier well. I do too.
Our dog Jackson gives us a lot of joy, that's for sure. He's goofy and energetic and has a lot of love to offer.
But, selfish me, sometimes I want something more. Jackson goes through dog food as if he was trying to win the World Eating Championship, so that gets expensive. And he loves eating socks, too, especially when said socks have been worn and smell really ripe. This means I'm always spending money on new socks.
So, why not put Jackson to work? Why can't he contribute to paying the phone bill, the heating bill, the mortgage? Hey, we're always being told by certain polticians we don't deserve a free ride, so work, work work!
Jackson the landscaper, hauling away a stick from our
yard in St. Albans, Vermont.
Our Jackson is pretty strong, and he has unlimited energy, so maybe he can run a branch office of my landscaping business. Lord knows he loves branches, the way he always carries them around. He can gnaw down brush homeowners don't want, then put them in a nice pile for disposal.
Jackson eats flowers in gardens, so maybe we can train him to eat weeds instead.
To impart a work ethic on Jackson, I'll show him the video that I found that shows a nice dog working as a receptionist in a veterinarian's office. It's true. He deals with receipts, and makes sure the clients leave with all the necessary paperwork that tracks the health of all those Fidos and Fluffys.
Hoo boy, I'm not going to get in the middle of this one!
Still, it's probably the most important battle, and the most epic of our lifetimes. The fate of the universe rests on this. Or not.
On one side, it's Fox News, where business host Eric Bolling said the new-ish Muppet movie is an attack on capitalism, and it's trying to indoctrinate impressionable kids into some liberal pro-environment mess.
Miss Piggy at a news conference, battling Fox News
On the other side are Muppet movie stars Kermit the Frog, and especially Miss Piggy at a London news conference, trash talking Fox News.
Um, reporters breathlessly taking notes and recording every word of what puppets say? A well known news organization worried about puppets destroying the American Way of Life?
Whatever side you fall on in this epic debate, I think it's time we all take a deep breath. In the meantime, watch the press conference video for yourself, because we report, you decide:
Here in Vermont, there has been a debate for decades: Do we let the suburban big box retailers in, or do we keep them out to maintain those little stores in historic village centers in the state?
I doubt it will ever really be resolved. People do need access to inexpensive goods, hence the big boxes. But we also need the village centers and the businesses there, because that's our culture, our way of life, and not to mention a draw for the tourists with their fistfuls of money.
We all know about flash mobs, those groups of people who suddenly break out of a crowd without warning and start some sort of dance performance or something.
The Chagrin Falls cash mob was group, organized via social media, who invaded Chagrin Falls Hardware and spent cash. "Organized" is an iffy word here. People just put the word out on Facebook and Twitter, and the people showed up at the store in droves and spent cash.
The word "mob" here was entirely accurate, because the storm was absolutley jammed all day, according to published reports.
No word on how much money the store made, but I'm sure the owners appreciated the business.
Found this video on Buzzfeed. Maybe I'm just a weird, sick puppy, but I love the video. It shows what happens when you put random pieces of metal into your washing machine.
To me, it was funny watching the machine keep going, going and going as it falls to pieces.
Hat tip to Rick Wold on Facebook for alerting me to the viral video in this post that's actually been up for a year or so.
As the notes below the video say, it "illustrates the power of words to radically change your message and the your effect upon the world."
Yes, the video turns out to be an advertisement for a company that helps people and companies offer a better Web presense, but the short film is certainly poignant enough to watch.
This is obviously a great idea, since who in the world would want that in their food? Of course, I doubt anything on the Safeway shelves has any pieces of aborted fetus, given the yuck factor and the really, really substantial ethical issues associated with it.
This man, Ralph Shortey, might save us from the
yuckiness of aborted fetuses in food.
Still, I guess you can't be too careful. Says Shortey: “There is a potential that there are companies that are using aborted human babies in their research and development of basically enhancing flavor for artificial flavors.”
Apparently, Shortey read something on the Internet, where this here blog thingamjig is, that some company called Senomyx is using aborted embryonic create isolated human taste receptors, whatever that sentence means.
And of course you have to believe everything that's on the Internet. If it's in words, it's true, right?.
Well, Shortey said he's done some digging on this, and he doesn't believe everything on the Internet, which is a relief. He also says he doesn't mind the ridicule, because people who raise seemingly nonsensical issues are often proved right, and the laughing stops
No word from Senomyx on what's going on, at least there's nothing on their Web site, but the U.S. Food and Drug Administration says they're not aware of this.
I would certainly hope the FDA would be aware of this, if it is going on.
I also hope our state legislators save us from other perils out there. And the way to do that is to pass laws, to make sure those wascally wabbits don't hurt us.
Here in Vermont, I'm going to lobby my local legislators to pass laws outlawing purple monkeys from walking along my street. I also want them to ban square hailstones in thunderstorms. And I think we need a law that would bar space aliens from abducting anyone with the letter Q in their name.
Because we have to protect ourselves from such things before they happen.
