Monday, May 4, 2015

Here's Why People Have Trouble Figuring Out The English Language

This guy struggles with spelling and grammar,
but hey, English is a difficult language.  
Here's an experiment for you-- hat tip from BoingBoing and Into the Shadows:

Put the word "only" between any two words in this sentence: "She told him that she loved him."

No matter where you put the word "only," the meaning of the sentence totally changes. And you wonder why people trying to learn English mangle their meaning so badly when they attempt to speak it?

This kind of situation recalls my other rants about English. Why can we have sunny days but not moony nights? Why aren't butterflies called flutter by? After all, that's what they do.

We can become overwhelmed or underwhelmed, but nobody is ever just whelmed.

It can get warmer and colder, but not damper or humider. We have the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh day of the month, for example, but not the twoth or threeth. Why?

I liked my father's attitude. When he ran a tavern years ago, he put up an intentionally incorrect sign that warned patrons about the dress code: "No bear feat" said the sign.

All this is why I don't understand rabid members of the grammar police. Yes, you should make an effort to use the English language and to write properly to be understood, but accidentally using "their" instead of "they're" in a hastily written email is not cause for the death penalty.

Oh, sure, I ridicule some of the bigger offenders, too, but I ignore small "word crimes."  You still have to laugh at angry protestors who called President Obama a "Half Breed Muslin" or another placard that read "Remember: Descent is the highest form of patriotic."  (sic)

Who knew the President was a fabric and you have to go down hill to be patriotic, not to mention grammatically incorrect?

I also liked the sign, "Repeel Congress." Yeah, it would be fun to peel that group.

Here's my answer to the word police. I'm going to lighten the mood by giving you Weird Al Yankovic's "Blurred Lines" parody, "Word Crimes"


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