Wednesday, April 26, 2017

I Could Get Rich Selling Muddy My Muddy Filthy Jeans Like Nordstorm's

You could buy these jeans covered with fake mud from
Nordstrom's for $425 a pair, but why would you want to?
One of my johs is a gardener, and I get right into the work.

By the end of the day, my jeans, or Carhartts, or shorts, or t-shirts are caked and mud, dirt and sweat.

You wouldn't think that's so attractive. Or stylish.

However, I learned today that Norstrom's is selling something called the Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans for a whopping $425 a pair.

What makes these jeans so special? They've covered in fake mud, or what Nordstrom calls "caked-on muddy coating," which makes the jeans look like you spent the day in a mud pit or something.

According to NBC26, Nordstrom says the jeans "embody rugged, Americana workwear that's seen some hard working action," and that when worn, the show "you're not afraid to get down and dirty."

Sorry, but I can assure you anyone who spends $425 on a pair of jeans has never worked in the dirt a day in his or her life. It would ruin the $1,000 manicure.

Surprise! Pretty much everybody, including me, is totally mocking these jeans.

However, some of the criticism is overwrought.

Says NBC26: "When he discovered the product this week, 'Dirty Jobs' host Mike Rowe posted about them on his website, saying the Nordstorm jeans were proof of 'our country's war on work.'

'They're a costume for wealthy people who see work as ironic - not iconic.....Jeans made to look like you work hard so you don't have to.'"

Rowe is right that the few rich idiots who would buy these jeans are trying to be ironic. But they're also stupid.

However, in my experience, it's rare to see people mock workers who do manual labor. Who genuinely get dirty to get the job done right. Who make people's homes, businesses and such look and be perfect. Or as close to that as a human can muster.

I have both an office job and an outdoor gardening job. Whe people see the gardening work I do they are impressed with it. They sometimes note my dirty clothes, but in an admiring way. That I got into my work. That I wasn't afraid to tackle the task at hand.

I think Rowe has too little faith in Americans' admiration of hard physical work, despite Nordstrom's stupid jeans out there.

Then there's the question of who would actually wear these jeans. I agree with the Daily Beast when the said this:

"Who is Nordstrom's target market for them? You would not wear the mud jeans in the city, because you would look ridiculous, and people would edge away from you. You would not wear them in the country, because people would kow you were a total fake. In both places, you would look like an ass."

I know this is all a media stunt. Nobody is going to actually buy these $425 mud jeans. Nordstrom's is just trying to get their name out there, and I'm as complicit as the next guy in this endeavor.

I also noticed since I started working on this piece, ads for these Nordstrom mud jeans are following me around the web. As if I'm going to buy these stupid things

In any event, I'm always looking for ways to make more money. I think I can outsell Nordstrom by offering a bargain.

I'll wear jeans or Carhartts or something while I'm doing particularly strenuous and dirty garden work. Then I'll sell those pants to some rich fool for the low, low price of, say $300 a pair.

A big buzzword in advertising these days is authenticity, and what could be more authentic than my own Carhartts covered in good old Vermont mud and dirt?

True, they can't put these clothes in the washer, because they'll get clean.

But rich people have disposable income, so they can dispose of the jeans when they get done with them. Or they can give them back to me so I can use them again. Then, these rich fools can just buy another pair of muddy pants from me for their next night on the town at some fashionable, swinging hot spot in Manhattan or wherever.

Any takers among you fakers?

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