Thursday, April 9, 2015

Honey Theft: A Stingingly Stupid Crime

The guys in Florida tried to steal honey from this
hive high up in a tree. Guess what happened?  
I swear Florida is the world's leading producer of stupid criminals. There's a whole Twitter account called Florida Man, which chronicles the extreme creativity of the state's bad guys and gals.

The Twitter Feed is so named because every day in the paper or web news sites, there's the inevitable story that begins "A Florida man has been charged with (insert stupid crime here....)"

To my mind, a new low was hit on Easter Sunday in an attempted honey theft from a beehive in New Port Richey, Florida, says television station WTSP in Tampa/Sarasota.

Yes, you and I know bees tend to sting when you disturb them or their hive, and you need the proper protection and methods to harvest honey from a hive.

But you and I are not Florida Man! Why not climb a tree and just grab that delicious honey from a beehive?

The inevitable happened, obviously. The three men didn't get their honey but they sure got stung! The fire department had to show up and hose the guys down just to get enough bees off them so they could help them.

"They were covered in bees -- their beards, their hair, their clothes. Bees were everywhere," neighbor Tom Johnson told WTSP.

Being in Florida and all, Johnson realized on camera with WTSP he had to play the role of Captain Obvious, and said, "It's cheaper to go to the store and get your honey there than try to be brave and end up in the hospital. It's just not worth it."

It's true. A 32 ounce container of honey from Walmart costs just $7.84. I'm not sure what hospitalization from bee stings cost, but it's probably more than $7.84.

I can't wait for these three guys to get out of the hospital, where each was being treated for more than 50 bee stings. When they get out, I'm sure Florida Man will strike again with even more creativity.

I'm counting on you, Florida Man! And Florida Woman!

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