Matt of All Trades blog, like the title suggests, is by a Vermont author and offers offbeat musings on pop culture, media, journalism, humor, weirdness, stupid people, smart people, my life as a journalist, landscaper, photographer, married gay man, dog lover and weather geek and more. It's run by me, Matt Sutkoski, a native Vermonter living in St. Albans, Vt.
Adam Lambert's version of Cher's "Believe" was stunning and moved many to tears, including Cher at this past month's Kennedy Center Honors. Strip down that song, and it can be pretty amazing. A 14-year-old Britain's Got Talent contestant had the same idea two years ago, to magnificent effect.
There's always a gala televised thing for these honorees and of course, the highlight was people performing songs by Cher.
For some reason, I've never been a huge fan of Adam Lambert. Nothing against the guy; he just never wowed me. Until now.
One of Cher's biggest hits was "Believe" a sort of dance club, Auto-Tuned but catchy hit from 1998. Hidden in that dance tune is some heartbreaking, great lyrics and Lambert took full advantage of them.
The result was a great rendition that moved Cher and many others to tears.
Below are two videos. I'm doing that because Lambert wasn't the first person to strip down and slow down "Believe." In 2016, a contestant on "Britain's Got Talent,"Jasmine Elcock, who was only 14 years old at the time, did an even more outstanding job with "Believe" than Lambert, if you can believe that.
First video is Lambert's, second is Elcock's. Which one do you like better?
Ted Pelkey's middle finger lights up the
skyline of Westford, Vermont
Vermonters by and large have a reputation for civility. We might not be the warmest people on the planet- we're New Englanders, after all. But we tend to shy away from big public confrontations here in the Green Mountain State.
For the most part, anyway. One exception is in Westford, Vermont, where a giant wooden middle finger on a 16-foot pole greets travelers passing through this pleasant northwestern Vermont town.
As Boston.comand numerous other media outlets have noted, the middle finger along Route 128 in Westford is not meant for you. Unless you are on the town's Selectboard or Development Review Board or a few of the other town's leaders.
The owner of the property with the middle finger, Ted Pelkey, says he put up the 700-pound wooden middle finger because he's fought a ten-year battle to get permits so he can build a garage on his property. He wants to move his truck repair and monofilament recycling business from Swanton to his Westford property.
The town says no. He can't do that. Westford officials say he hasn't give them enough detail on what he plans to do with the garage, how big it will be, and other details. Pelkey says some town officials have a vendetta against him. He apparently has a pretty negative history with at least one member of Westford's Development Review Board.
"I've been put through the wringer by all these people, and it's just not right....I haven't been treated fairly at all," Pelkey said.
Fed up, Pelkey and his wife commiserated in a bar one night. He said, "Hey, I want to get a statue made of a middle finger, and I'm going to put it up on the lawn,"he told Boston.com
And so he did. The whole thing cost Pelkey about $4,000, but he thinks it's worth it.
There's not much anyone can legally do to make Pelkey take the middle finger down. There's a strict billboard law in Vermont, which seeks to get rid of visual clutter along highways by banning businesses from putting up billboards along highways to advertise their services.
But Pelkey's middle finger is not advertising a business, which means it does not fall under the billboard law. Towns like Westford can enact sign laws more stringent than state law, but Westford has nothing like that. On top of all that, Pelkey's middle finger is political speech, which falls under First Amendment protections.
So the big middle finger remains up in Westford, glowing in the nighttime floodlights along Route 128.
If you ever drive through Westford, just remember it's notbing personal toward you. It's just somebody in town really has an axe to grind.
This woman was dubbed "Service Dog Sally" for being upset that
her toddler was not allowed to pet a service dog. She said the people
with the service dog were rude when they said no.
I just love picking on self-important, entitled people. Their antics very often go viral, so it makes it convenient to do so.
So I'm picking on somebody today. Who of course went viral.
In this case, a woman in a Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania mall asked another woman if her toddler could pet her service dog. The answer was no.
As pretty much everybody on the planet knows, you don't touch a service dog. They're working. They don't need distractions. Get your own damn dog.
The mother of the toddler goes totally off- angry and bewildered and insulted that she and her kid was told "No." Like we all have to bow to this queen of snowflakes or whatever the hell she is.
In her self defense,the woman in the video saysshe had accepted the "No" answer, but somebody in the group used profanity, so she confronted the group with the service dogs. That naturally made everything worse, because she just couldn't ignore this alleged profanity.
Watch the video at the bottom of this post to make your eyes roll.
First, here are the rules, for the tiny percentage of people out there who don't get it:
1. You must ask permission first if you want to touch a service dog, or any dog, or any pet, or any person.
2. If you are told that you cannot touch said animal or person, that ends the discussion. There is no negotiation. Move on.
3. If you do put up a fight over this and are filmed in a public place, there's nothing you can do about it. The idiot woman in the video begs to differ, but this is all very settled First Amendment case law. If you are in a public place and being video'd and you don't like it, too bad. Just get out of camera range if it bothers you.
4. If you are told you can't touch a service dog, any pet or any person, and you object to being filmed, you are free to threaten to contact your lawyer. Again, First Amendment case law says you can say this. Just don't expect any lawyer with even a smidgeon of common sense to take your case.
Anyway, here's the video. It's kind of cathartic to want to slap the offending women, although literally slapping her would be illegal. So just do it in your mind:
Darlene Love does it again, performing in 2018 my favorite holiday song
"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)"
My long standing tradition has been to feature the seemingly immortal Darlene Love doing her holiday hit "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)", which is my favorite song of the season.
The song is bittersweet, which is a vacation from the cloying claptrap we usually have to put up with this time of year. Yeah, I'm a Grinch, but deal with it.
The bittersweet song matches my mixed emotions this time of year. I know Christmas demands that I be deliriously happy, but no, I'm not going to do that. I really don't mean to be negative, and I don't want to take away from the joy that many people experience this time of year. But still. Bah-Humbug!
Yes, I know I'm one of the lucky ones. There's been no tragedies in my life around the Christmas season, knock on wood. Life is good, no complaints. Happiness abounds.
Still, this is a season of contrasts. People get giddy with joy, but there's an undercurrent of sadness for many people, even sometimes among us "lucky ones." It's just that nobody dares admit it. It's against the "rules."
That's not good enough, dammit. This holiday demands that everybody's life be perfect. I guess the holiday advertisers are the ones that expect this of us. It's a way to make money, and I get it. However, they hold too much sway over most of us, and I think that's awful. It's time to break those chains.
Nobody's life is perfect. This seasonal expectation that insists everything must be ideal makes people who are feeling less than perfect feel worse. Which is a cruel joke. Shame on those Hallmark Christmas Specials types. If I were a worse person, I'd wish heartache for them on Christmas.
But I can't bring myself to do that.
Which is why I love "Christmas (Baby Pleas Come Home)" so much. She wants to be with her lover, her ex-lover, or whoever it is, and can't. The song brings us to church, which should make us feel exultant, but at the same time brings us down to a sad reality.
Which is life for pretty much all of us. In a world of fake news, let's deal with reality, folks.
As usual, my, husband and I must be apart this Christmas. Me in Vermont with family, Jeff in South Dakota with family. It's just circumstance that causes this. Work schedules, life in general. No biggie. I want him to be home with me, or I want to be with him in South Dakota.
We can't, but we work it out. Which is why for me, Christmas is bittersweet, and the song fits the mood. Hey, if relating to a song makes you feel better, why not, right?
Jeff will be with me soon enough, and all will be well. I just wish I could spend time today with family, simultaneously in West Rutland, Vermontand Yankton, South Dakota. We'll do Facetime, which is nice, but not perfect.
Hallmark will be mad at me for not being perfect with this, but screw 'em. It's time for all of us to enjoy our strangely wonderful, gloriously imperfect lives.
Love always performed "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" on the David Letterman show, until he retired. Then,"The View" picked it up.
I think this year "The View" diluted Love a bit by having her duet with Bryan Adams.(Gosh, I haven't thought of him in years.) But it's a blessing we still have Darlene Love to uphold the tradition in this blog. After all, aren't we supposed to be all traditional this time of year?
So what if my tradition is being imperfect at a time we're all "supposed" to be flawless? I'm rebelling, and I hope you'll join me.
Here's to sloppy Christmas decorations, gifts falling short, less than impeccable holiday clothing choices, and anything else that violates all those supposed Christmas standards.
Let's enjoy "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" if only because it celebrates our imperfect but good lives:
In the song, Kitt purrs her way through a gift list she wants from Santa when he "comes down the chimney tonight. "
In the long list of expensive things she wants is a car, specifically a nice 1954 convertible, light blue. Also, holiday decorations from Tiffany's, a sable (who wears real fur coats anymore?). big checks with lots of zeros after a first integer, a duplex (why a duplex, why not just a house?) and of all things, a platinum mine.
Who the hell would even think of asking for a platinum mine for Christmas? Who the hell would want one?
That old gold digging song needed a serious update. Most women I know don't pine for all that weird stuff anymore. They especially don't wish for a platinum mine. Some women might want to shove a bad, lousy ex into a platinum mine, but that's another story.
Miley Cyrusrecently appeared on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. There she was in a cute green and red Christmas outfit, lounged out on a couch. With an earnest smile that is apparently required whenever you sing a holiday song, she belts out "Santa, Baby."
But this Miley version is seriously updated. Sables, checks, cars and platinum mines are out. Cyrus's "Santa, Baby" now has a refreshing feminist twist. Sample lyric:
"Santa, baby, I've got a baller car of my own, no loan. I bought it all by myself, Santa baby, with zero help from Elf on the Shelf."
The rest of the song is definitely worth a watch and listen. Especially when she gets to what Santa and other men can do with their chimneys:
Sully, who was George H.W. Bush's service dog, sleeps and stands guard
in front of his casket in early December. Because of a directive from
Bush, Sully has a new job helping veterans at the Walter Reed Military
Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland.
One of the most heartrending photos I saw after former President George H.W. Bush died on November 30 was an Instagram image of his service dog, Sully.
There, Sully was sleeping, but still on guard in front of Bush's casket. The caption on Instagram read "Mission Accomplished."
There have been disturbing news reports lately that in various ways, veterans have not been getting the respect and help they obviously deserve. That Sully will help veterans is just touching good news all around. It is also an indication that Bush 41 knew that if there was something good in this world, like Sully, he had to be put to good use.
Sully, a two-year-old Labrador retriever, was paired with and specifically trained to help Bush 41 with his daily tasks. As noted, that job was completely successfully. Talented and smart Sully has more to give.
Former President George W. Bush - Bush 41's son - said, "As much as our family is going to miss this dog, we're comforted to know he'll bring the same joy to his new home, Walter Reed, that he brought to 41."
I was never a fan of George 41's politics. I voted against him. But I knew that as imperfect as he was, he always wanted to do right for the nation and his fellow humans. Seems like that trait is in woefully short supply these days.
In a current world where we find too many humans acting especially unhelpful, it's great to see a dog step up to the plate in such a noble fashion. And do so at the behest of someone who could teach us sometbing about common decency. .
An expectant mother wants to give her son the first name "Squire Sebastian Senator" with no shortened nicknames, please. Ugh!
I so wish this story, gleaned from the unreliable Internet wasn't true. But since some pretty responsible news outlets have picked up on this, so I suspect the following stupidity is true.
If you think that seems pretentious, you're right. Even worse, this woman says those three names are really just his first name.
According to Newsweek and many other new sources, The woman in question says this is her son's first name and "he will not be allowed to have a nickname."
Most of us address our friends by their reasonable first name: "Bob" "Jane." Somewhat unusual first names are OK, too. Hi, Maverick! Hi, Harmony! It's all good. Many parents name their kids according to their ancestry, race, personal interests, references to Greek or Roman or other gods and it's all cool.
Usually, all these names are easy to say. Even if they aren't, it's usually for a good reason. The kid is named after a beloved living or deceased relative, or somebody who made history, or named in a way that shows pride in the famiy's heritage. Within reason.
But when this kid is born, do you really always want to refer to him as "Squire Sebastian Senator?" When anybody addresses a kid with two or three names, it means they're in trouble for some reason. I still shudder rememberingwhen my mother yelled, JOHN MATTHEW!!!!! Do we really want this kid to think he's always in trouble?
Apparently, we do, or at least mom does.. As she explained on Facebook: "We come from a long lasting family of both squires and senators. If you look back in our family tree, the survival of the clan is literally rooted in squiredom. We are all related to senators, too....This name conveys power. It conveys wealth. It conveys success."
It also conveys the fact that this kid will be mercilessly bullied. And ultimately messed up. Think about it. Would you like to address this kid like that? Never bully a kid, or anybody for that matter. But you know quite a few people will take the bait and abuse this kid. Not his fault. But it will be mom's fault.
Mom plows on in her Facebook post:
"Squire Sebastian Senator will live a powerful, wholesome life. His confidence will not diminish simply because his name is out of the ordinary. Instead, he will become extraordinary."
Extraordinary is one way to put it.
This name mom wants to give to this poor boy is just an exercise in his parents' ego, and nothing more, which is sad. You can tell by the mom's social media post in which she cancels a planned baby shower. "It brings me pain to have to tell you this, but I am cancelling this event....Why am I doing this? Because y'all have been talking shit about my unborn baby. AN UNBORN CHILD. How can you judge an unborn child?? What is wrong with you?
Talk about not getting it!! As is obvious to everyone except to mom, nobody is judging the kid. To spell it out, he hasn't been born yet. Nobody's met him yet. How can you judge a person who have not met?
What people are really judging is the mom, which is totally fair. She's the one playing this tragi-comic name game with the unborn son. For most parents, it's all or mostly about the kid. For this mom, it's all about her. Not a good omen.
This mom goes on relentlessly in her Facebook post: "My baby's name WILL be a revolution.....It will push people to question everything."
Well, it does push me to question some things. Like should this woman actually be a mother? Is there a way we can help this poor kid? Would it violate the First Amendment to force parents to change a kid's name if it is unsuitable? What does this woman mean by "revolution?"
On Reddit, where this whole thing went viral, the reviews are understandably pretty negative:
"This could be the first child ever to run away from home before he's born," one person commented.
Another person said, "He's the first kid ever to come from school with the nickname 'Stinky' an be happy abou it."
I just pray that when this kid is born and people get to know him, they won't fault this stupid name game on the kid.
And I hope this is the first and last time this mom saddles her kid with something stupid, born from her own ego.
Engineer Mark Rober designed an elaborate revenge package that turns
porch pirates' lives into a glittery, stinky mess
Tis the season for porch pirates.
You know, they are the legions of creeps and idiots out there who see packages delivered to porches, doorsteps and whatnot and help themselves to them.
It's a huge problem, and everybody who has victimized has revenge fantasies against the porch pirates.
Who doesn't love that surveillance camera footage of a porch pirate running off with a package, slipping on the home's muddy lawn, and painfully falling and breaking her leg.
I'm guessing none of these revenge fantasies is extensive as the one a guy named Mark Rober had.
He's a former NASA engineer who worked on the Curiosity rover, which explored Mars a few years back. So Rober knows how to design stuff.
Rober took design to a whole new level to combat porch pirates. Or at least make them pay.
He spent six months designing a package that, when opened by thieves, causes a big explosion of very fine glitter that gets all over and into everything. The glitter is so extensive that it will make a permanent part of the porch pirates' home or car, wherever they opened the package
Rober's bait package also emits repeated mists of fart spray. Really!
A view of Rober's glitter bomb exploding.
Plus, it's designed with cameras that start recording when the package is stolen, and captures the reaction of the thieves in all their glitter-covered glory. The viral video you'll see below is a bit long and involved, but it's certainly worth watching the whole thing.
There is a segment in the middle of the video that shows a slow motion view of when the glitter explodes. It's really quite pretty. I don't know what the porch pirates are complaining about in the video.
It's interesting to watch all the contigencies and design elements he put into this package, which gives you a window into how smart engineers work. Then, toward the end, we see the glitter explosions after the porch pirates have stolen these boxes.
I wonder if it will make these people rethink their line of work. I don't know that it will, but it certainly makes their "job" more complicated. Here's the video:
In front of a packed Severerance, Colorado Town Board meeting, Dane
Best, 9, lobbies comuunity leaders to overturn a ban on snowball
fights. Photo by Sara Knuth/Greely Tribune
I love it when kids re-enact the plot in the fictional movie "Footloose,"in which a teenager gets a town to overturn a ban on dancing.
The situation I'm about to describe isn't exactly dancing, but it's still nice to see somebody overturning a stupid local ordinance.
The town of Severance, Colorado has long banned snowball fights. C'mon! Colorado in the winter? You gotta have snowball fights!
Enter Severance resident Dane Best, 9, who decided he CAN fight City Hall. And, spoiler: He won.
"The children of Severance want the opportunity to have a snowball fight like the rest of the world....The law was created many years ago. Today's kids need a reason to play outside."
BOOM!
You can't get a more persuasive argument than that. Why not let the kids of Severance experience the joys of children everywhere. At least in places where it snows And in this age of kids staying inside playing video games to the detriment to their physical health, wouldn't you want children to go outside and be active?
The anti-snow ball ordinance was part of an otherwise perfectly reasonable law that banned throwing missiles or stones at people or property. It's still illegal in Severance to throw stones and missiles, as it is in most if not all of America. Best didn't want the town to overturn that part of the law, and he promised never to throw a snowball with a rock inside.
But the snowball piece of the Severance ordinance is now officially off the books. After the Town Board meeting, the Greeley Tribune said Best and his little brother Dax, 4, went outside into Severance's snowy streets and threw the first legal snow balls in the town's history.
Severance Mayor Don McLeod also got into the act and tossed a snow ball or two.
This whole thing leads to a larger lesson for Best and any kid out there. Yes, you can change an injustice, but only if you put some effort into it.
In this still from a security camera video, a squirrel leaps onto the
shoulder of a UPS driver delivering a package to a homeowner.
Nice to see the squirrel trying to be helpful.
In the viral video in this post, a delivery guy gets a happy assist during his workday.
It's Christmas season, so people are getting packages at their home left and right. In this case, a UPSdriver delivers a Zapposbox to a customer.
It's all festive. As the security camera shows, there's a nice seasonal wreath, and the bearded delivery guy taps a little tune on the box. He's in a good mood. It even helps that you can see a Christmas wreath on the door. All is well.
While he's waiting for the homeowner to open the door to accept the package, a squirrel decides to be helpful. Said squirrel jumps on the UPS driver's shoulder and head, and he's delighted.
The squirrel is gone by the time the homeowner opens the door, and the video cuts out at that point. I would have loved to hear what the conversation was like between UPS guy and the homeowner.
But at least it's a nice, happy alternative to the porch pirate thefts we usually see this time of year
I'll let you read the whole story, but I will cherry pick some of my favorites from this list.
One of these special Christmas gifts is a Trump bottle opener, which has the sound of Trump ranting. One of the messages spouts off about fake news when you use it. Frankly, I hope my nice cold bottle of beer is not fake news when I open it, so I'll pass on this one.
Ugly Christmas sweaters are all the rage in recent years, and I think I found the worst yet. It depicts Santa, sitting on a chimney, pants down, taking a dump down the chimney into somebody's fireplace. I think that qualifies as worse than getting a lump of coal in your stocking.
Here's the sales pitch from the company that sells this thing."Ugly Christmas sweater has a whole new meaning when you rock up wearing something that literally takes a dump all over the Christmas season. He delivers to every boy and girl in one night, folks - when you gotta go, you gotta go."
I don't think this sweater is turning into a hit. At last check it was on sale - meaning they're trying to unload this, um, mess. The price keeps going down. It started at $84.95, went down to $78.95 and at last check was a low, low $59.95.
Still too pricy for me. Even so, you might want to continue on with this shitty Christmas idea. You can combine the above gift with thebook "We Wish You A Poopy Christmas."
Honestly, the sales pitch for this book is even worse than the one for the poopy Christmas sweater:
The worst possible ugly
Christmas sweater.
"Curl up by the fire with some steaming hot chocolate and listen to Fudgy the Poopman offer his unique take on your favorite Christmas tales. You're probably familiar with Rudolph and his red nose, but in this book, you hear how Christmas was saved by Rupert, whose case of IBS has left him with shining red spot on the opposite end of the reindeer body."
I'm not sure why our nation's recent infantile obsession with poop is so rampant, but this Christmas stuff proves it's jumped the shark and must end now.
Moving on, the Christmas season is often chilly, especially for us northerners. We wear coats, hats, mittens, and even ear muffs. But what if your nose gets cold? Well, of course there's a Christmas gift solution!
Keep your schnoz warm with aSpider Nose Warmer. I just love how the marketers of this thing in their sales pitch have absolutely no command of the English language. I'll quote it verbatim, with no editorial corrections:
"Nose warmer pom pom Christmast gadget. Funny nose gift nose heath Vegan friendly, Nose cozy winter heater. Your noise never been worn, it's made just for you....A unique practical way to keep your nose warm. Sure to be a hit with all. Fun and useful, great for everyone. Loops on each side of the Nose Warmer hook behind the ears, stretchy easy and comfortable to wear. And feets all."
Feets all? I thought it was a nose warmer. No thanks, I'll pass. They say a cold nose is a sign your dog is healthy. I'll just assume that if my nose is cold, I'm healthy.
I haven't finished my holiday shopping yet. I'm a last-minute kinda guy. But rest assured, family and friends! You're not getting any of the items listed above. If that disappoints you, buy 'em yourself!
PETA doesn't want us to use cliches that seem mean to animals. Their alternative suggestions need work, though.
There's an amazing number of cliches out there that involve animals.
That's the elephant in the room. There's more than one way to skin a cat. That dog don't hunt. Don't let the cat out of the bag. One trick pony. The lion's share. Pig headed. The cat's meow. Dog days of summer.
"Kill two birds with one stone" must now be "Feed two birds with one scone." (I had no idea birds like scones. Go figure.)
"Be a guinea pig" should become "Be the test tube."
"Beat a dead horse." should turn into "Feed a fed horse." If the horse has been fed, it's not hungry. Why would you want to force food this poor creature? That seems cruel, but whatever. Plus, the fed horse thing makes no sense.
"Bring home the bacon" needs to change to "Bring home the bagels."
"Take the bull by the horns" should become "Take the flower by the thorns." Um, most flowers don't have thorns. And even if they do, why should anyone punish themselves by poking themselves wityh thorns. You CAN be careful.
Now, like most people, I'm really, really not into torturing animals. But as usual, don't you think PETA is taking things just a wee bit too far?
As you'd expect the Twttersphere is not having it.
@tryzickput in a dig in by saying: "Raising awareness and teaching us new phrases? That's killing two birds with one stone right there."
I wonder whatJulie Andrews thinks of this Randy Rainbow video.
Anyway, as usual with Randy Rainbow, I kinda think this video is NSFW. A little off-color. And plus it's not good office etiquette to trigger co-workers who might be fans of Trump.
Also as usual, this video is brilliant. Sample lyric:
"Burying Tax Returns After You File 'em/Tear Gassing migrants for seeking asylum"
There's a tradition in minor league hockey for something called the teddy bear toss, and the one Sunday at the Hershey game was one for the record books.
In the toss, when the home team scores the first goal of the season, fans toss teddy bears onto the ice.
Midway through the first period on Sunday, the Hershey Bears scored their first goal of the game. Everybody expected teddy bears to rain down on the ice, but nobody expected this. Watch the awesome video at the bottom of this post to see how this went down. It was beautifu
For nearly 10 minutes teddy bears flew from the stands in a blinding stuffed animal blizzard. When all was said and done, 34,798 stuffed animals had landed on the ice.
All the toys go to charity. Most of them go to local organizations like food banks, churches and the Lions Club. Some of them go to the Children's Miracle Network and the American Cancer Society.
The teddy bear toss at the Hershey Bears game Sunday forced a long delay in the game, but nobody complained. I think it would have been especially fun being in the lower seats above the upper decks. After you throw your teddy bear onto the ice, more rain down from above, so you'd grab those and fling them onto the rink as well.
Gender reveal: It's a boy! But the explosion set off all that tinder-dry brush you see, causing an $8 million wildfire.
Dennis Dickey wanted to throw a nice, explosive gender reveal party, as he and his wife were expecting a baby.
He had what he thought was a great plan.
As NPR and numerous other news outlets explained, Dickey placed Tannerite, a very explosive substance inside a target, which he would shoo with a high-velocity firearm bullet.
Tannerite makes an explosie powder that produces some water vapor and a thunderous boom. Not to mention flames and what not. You can get Tannerite powder that sprays in pink or blue for a gender reveal party.
I don't know what Dickey, a Border Patrol agent, was thinking when he pulled this stunt for his friends. As you can see from the video, below, everything around on that hot Arizona April day looked super, super tinder dry. Just thinking about a lighted match would start a fire, you might imagine.
The big fire caused by a gender reveal party burns along an Arizona ridgeline in 2017.
At the time, the area was under aRed Flag Warning, which means there's a high risk of wildfires. Winds at the time were gusting to 40 mph.
But Dickey fires his gun. A big spray of blue. It's a boy!! But immediate, the tinder dry vegetation goes up in flames. What else would you expect?
The resulting fire would soon consume 47,000 acres and cause $8 million in damage. I guess Dickey had an $8 million baby, huh?
On the bright side, although residents of many homes were evacuated, firefighters prevented those homes from burning down.
To be fair, Dickeydid report the fire right away, but it was still too late. The fire quickly spread out of control. He has agreed to pay restitution, but I don't know where he's going to come up with $8 million.
He's already ponied up $100,000 and will pay monthly installments of $500 over the next two decades, but that won't cover it. And so much for the baby boy's college fund.
He'll also be on five years of probation and appear in a public service announcement for the U.S. Forest Service.
