Thursday, December 4, 2014

Wacko "Pastor" Says Starbucks Puts Semen From Gay Men In Their Lattes

"Pastor" James David Manning of the Atlah Worldwide
 Missionary Church in Harlem has some unique theories. 
Yeah, the headline of this post is a strange one. But there is actually someone making that claim.

Pastor James David Manning of the Atlah Worldwide Missionary Church wins this year's award for the most creative and out there conspiracy theory of the year. And the decade. And the century.

Manning runs  Atlah in Harlem, It's a virulently anti-gay mess of an organization that ranks right up there with the infamous Westboro Baptist Church.

OK, he hates gays.  But give Manning points for doing this, um, creatively.

Let's just quote a snippet from Manning's  radio show, as provided to us by Raw Story:

"My suspicion is that they're getting this semen from sodomites.......My suspicion is that semen, like cord blood, has millions and millions of little zygotes in it, and it flavors up the coffee. And it makes you think you're having a good time drinking that cup of latte with semen in it."

Manning says he knows this story is true because he read about it in the Inquisitr. 

And he did! I looked it up. Of course, the Inquisitr article informs readers the semen in the Starbucks lattes are fake, as the story originated at the satirical web site

Inquisitr in turn got the news the story was fake from the well respected rumor-debunking site 

The proof is in the pudding, so to speak.  
The lovely sign Manning put up in front of
his Harlem church earlier this year.  

But hey, the semen in the latte story is too fun to pass up, so Manning decided to run with it.

Hey, it'll get his few extremely gullible followers to give him more money, and he'll get richer and richer.

And he'll continue to enjoy his bigotry.

He does that a lot. Manning has previous told us that President Obama is a homosexual crack smoking demon from Kenya or somewhere who is unleashing these homosexual demons on the nation's black males.

Or something.

The latest development is that Starbucks has apparently sent Manning a cease and desist letter, telling him to shut up about the semen in Starbucks latte, already, since the story isn't true and it puts Starbucks in a false light.

My first thought was Starbucks' cease and desist letter is a little excessive, since who would believe the semen story anyway? But then I've often grossly underestimated the intelligence of some Americans, so the letter from the lawyer was about right.

Upon receiving the letter, Manning has doubled down, as the delightful video below of him indicates. Skip ahead to a little past the five minute mark. The first part of the video is just Manning reading the letter from Starbucks' attorney.

It's hard to follow Mannings' thinking but it appears he thinks Starbucks sent him the letter to scare him into shutting up about the "truth." He says it will backfire, because now he's going to proclaim this news about Starbucks far and wide.

I can't wait! This will be so much fun!

He also warns women against going to Starbucks for a latte, because drinking it will get them pregnant.  I don't know where to go with that remark, other than to be stunned by Manning's complete incompetence in the field of basic biology.

But oh well.

Here's that video I promised:

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