Oh, I know you're not going to skip over this. Everybody loves train wrecks, so you'll read.
|David Viens looking somber after his|
arrest for cooking his wife's dead body. Yuck!
The first bit of disgusting news comes from a murder trial in which a restaurant owner is accused of killing his wife.
So far, so routine, as far as murders go. But the allegation is that to ditch the body, he slowly cooked her for four days. Ewwww!!! He then disposed some of the body in a grease drain and some in the trash, according to the allegations.
It's unclear why David Veins chose to dispose of the body this way. I guess he thought it would be harder to trace? I don't know, I have no expertise in murder victim disposal. He might have been right: Authorities have never found the body.
Veins said he hid his wife's skull in his mother's attic, but a search there turned up nada, police said.
Still, if I was the mother, I'd move to an undisclosed location.
As Steve Martin, looking on the bright side in a Tweet, said, "Sometimes lawyers give good advice, Chef who cooked dead wife won't testify in his defense."
Though Viens didn't buy that. He tried to fire his lawyer during the trial, but the judge said no.
In any event, best not to eat at Viens' California restaurant called Thyme Comtemporary Cafe. Avoid the stir fry, particularly.
The second super tawdry case starts out gross and just keeps getting worse and worse. A Florida man is accused of bestiality with a donkey. Too much exposure to "Hee-Haw" episodes as a kid maybe?
The accused, Carlos Romero, 21, a farmhand from Ocala area, said Florida's anti bestiality laws are backwards and ought to be repealed.
|Carlos Romero NOT looking somber after his arrest for |
having, ahem, relations with a donkey.
But he used the occasion of his arrest to lobby against anti bestiality laws.
I don't see Florida legislators getting on that bandwagon anytime soon, do you?
Romero says he preferred the 21 month old minature donkey, named Doodles, because he is not a people person.
I'll say! But this arrest makes things convenient, because people won't want to hang out with Romero, either. So he can not be a people person safe in the knowledge that people won't bother him.
On the other hand, Romero won't be getting near any farms anytime soon, so his sex life is sure to suffer. Which of course is good news for us and the entire animal kingdom.
Romero told a judge that he wants his donkey back, but the judge wisely decided against it. Said donkey has probably fled as far as possible away from Ocala, Florida.