Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Four Hilarious, Pathetic Cases In Which The Holidays Proved Too Stressful

It's New Year's Eve, which means the holiday season is almost over.
A ceramic squirrel died in this woman's hands.  

For those who don't like stress, thatnk gawd for that.  Sometimes, the holidays really send people over the edge. If you thought you had tense moments over the Christmas holiday, I have four incidents that make your holiday feel like bliss.

(Thanks to the blog "Nothing To Do With Arbroath" for documenting all this Christmas mayhem)

Booze flows freely during holiday celebrations, and if the liquor spigot stops, there's often trouble. Like in South Carolina, where a man sent out to find some beer found the stores all closed late on Christmas Eve.

The man's common law wife, Helen Williams, 44, was none too pleased with this development. So she stabbed him with a ceramic squirrel, according to police in North Charleston, South Carolina.

Luckily, our victim is going to recover, but Williams is in a heap of trouble, charged with "crimial domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature," as police put it.

I''d also charge her with a home design crime for having ceramic squirrels in the first place, but that's just me.

There was something about South Carolina and the holidays that didn't seem to work well this year, anyway.  Another couple got into a Christmas time argument over the upcoming wedding. (Judging from what you'll read next, don't expect an invitation to arrive in your mailbox. I think the wedding is off.)

In Richland County, South Carolina, police said Krysta James, 34, stabbed her fiance during an argument over the planned color scheme of their wedding. 

Details on what was right or wrong with the color scheme were not available, but Krysta was jailed, leaving her time to contemplate what colors she'd like at her dream wedding. A dream wedding, because that's all she'll probably get. A wedding in her imagination.
Don't mess with this woman when it comes
to wedding planning.  

After all, who the hell would want to marry her in reality after this incident? Imagine how violent she'd get if she hated the bridesmaid dresses.

Now it's time to leave South Carolina and head to the lovely town of Jamestown, in western New York, where a woman had Christmas fixings simmering away in a crock pot.

That is, until a man in the house, maybe worried about all that expensive electricity usage, unplugged the crockpot.

The woman, Bridget Putnam, 21, responded like any reasonable cook would. She choked and stabbed the guy who shut off her crock pot, according to Jamestown Police. 

Don't mess with the Christmas cook!

Food was the center of another food fight in neighboring Ohio Christmas night. Apparently, two sisters had a dispute over some apple fritters. The fight ended with one sister stabbing the other. 

Judging from these incidents, the old Christmas trope of peace and goodwill toward man (and women!) during the holiday is SO passe.


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