Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Heroic TSA Agent Saves World From Diabolical Rooster Monkburn, The Sock Monkey

A diligent. heroic TSA agemt in St. Louis possibly saved the world in the past week.
Rooster Monkburn, the diabolical terrorist
sock monkey named in St. Louis. 

Phyllis May of Redmond, Washington was trying to board a plane when the TSA agent uncovered the evil plot in which May had a role.

It turns out May had a little sock monkey named Rooster Monkburn in her baggage. And Rooster Monkburn had a gun!

It was a little toy gun, two inches long in his little holster. Imagine the carnage had Rooster Monkburn gotten on that plane with that gun! Oh, the humanity!!

Or, as the TSA reportedly said to May once she discovered Monkburn and his gun. "If I held it up to your neck you wouldn't know if it was real or not."

Well, that TSA agent certainly showed her analytical skills. Personally, I would probably know the difference between having a tiny two-inch toy gun held against my temple, compared to a Glock 9 mm, but what do I know?

That's why we have those wicked smart and on top of it TSA agents protecting us.

Those TSA agents are also so, so compassionate, too! The agent said she should have called the cops, but she didn't, perhaps judging that May was just an unwitting stooge in Rooster Monkburn's dangerous plot.
The holster and gun confiscated from Rooster
Monkburn, next to three quarters, for
comparions' sake. 

As is always the case, it seems, the TSA sidestepped comment on this incident just issuing their usual bland statement. You know, to keep those terribly terrorists among us off balance.

Said the TSA statement: "TSA officers are dedicated to keeping the nation's transportation security systems safe and secure for the traveling public. Under longstanding aircraft security policy, and out of an abundance of caution, realistic replicas of firearms are prohibited in carry on bags."

Especially when sock monkeys are involved. They're particularly dangerous.

On the bright side, everyone, espcially all of us naive Americans who don't understand terrorism like the TSA does, will probably want a Rooster Monkburn sock monkey for Christmas.

May is going to have her hands full in that terrorist hotbed of Redmond, Washington, making more Rooster Monkburn sock monkeys with their teeny, tiny, fake guns.

Which means the TSA is really going to have its hands full during the holiday travel system.

1 comment:

  1. I've tried searching for Phyllis May in Redmond WA so that I can buy some of her sock puppets. I've never wanted a sock puppet, but her story makes her a minor celebrity and a bit of a folk hero, so I'd like to support her. No luck finding a business in Redmond WA as yet. Any ideas??? Thanks.