|Time to stock up on Easter|
Most sane people are still probably finishing up their Christmas shopping, but according to America's marketing and retail geniuses, you're, way, way, WAY behind schedule.
You should be stocking up for Easter, pronto!
My gawd! Easter falls on April 20 in 2014. Time is running short!
You're late, late LATE in getting all your Easter treats. Get your Easter bunnies, Easter chocolates, Easter EVERYTHING before they run out.
Do it NOW!!!
Granted, the Consumerist post I link to showing Easter goods at a Krogers in December is from 2011, but somewhere, some evil retail chief is stocking shelves with Easter goods now.
Because if you don't buy all your Easter stuff before Christmas arrives, you're really, really worthless.