Thursday, March 5, 2015

People Ask The Dumbest, Most Hilarious Question. Here's Your Proof

One record store customer asked for Cuban music
that was like Jimmy Buffett songs without
the Jimmy Buffett. Huh?  
Anyone who has ever worked in retail knows that some customers have a knack for asking the most bizarre questions or making the most unusual requests.

Put it this way. You know that saying, "There's no such thing as a stupid question."

Well, in retail, that's totally not true.

One guy who works in a record store has kept a book full of them since 2002.  He compiled some of his favorite customer interactions at

Here are a few of the best:

Customer: OK. There's a Beatles's really's worth a whole lot of money. Do you now which one it is?
Clerk: No.
Customer: OK, How much would it be worth?

Customer: There's this lady that just put out a song. I don't know what it is.
(This is the only information the customer provided)

Customer: I'm looking for "Theme From A Summer Place"
Clerk: Do you know by who? About 100 different artists have done that song.
Customer: There's no ARTIST! It's an INSTRUMENTAL!

Customer has an inquiry about the Led Zeppelin BBC Sessions
Customer: What does BBC Session mean?
Clerk: Well, it would have been a session recorded for British BBC radio.
Customer: So is it in English?

Customer: Do y'all have an Cuban music? LIke Kenny Chesney or Jimmy Buffett but without the Kenny Chesney and Jimmy Buffett?

Of course, there have always been dumb questions in any customer interaction. I still enjoy an Outside Magazine compilation from way back in 1995 of questions tourists asked while at National Parks.

A few of my favorites from that list:

Denali National Park, Alaska:
"How often do you mow the tundra?"
"How much does Mount McKinley weigh?"  
One tourist asked how people built the Grand Canyon
and what year it was built. Umm....  

Prince William Sound, Alaska:
Tourist while kayaking at sea: "What elevation are we at?"

Yosemite National Park
"What time do you turn on the falls?"
"Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?"

Mammoth Cave:
"How much of Mammoth Cave is under ground?"

Grand Canyon National Park
"Was this man-made? How did they make it?"
"What year did they build this?"
"Exactly why did you guys put it here?"

Yellowstone National Park
"How do you turn Old Faithful on?"
"Where do the animals sleep at night?"
"When do the deer turn into elk?"

Mesa Verde National Park
"Why did they build ruins?"
"Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?"

Carlsbad National Caverns
"What's in the unexplored part of the cave?"
"So what is this, just a hole in the ground?"
"How many ping pong balls would it take to fill this up?"

So, what kinds of dumb questions have you been asked? Respond with a reply to this blog.

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