Monday, January 4, 2016

I Hope You Got Hurt, Jerk Who Caused Winter Highway Crash.

I wasn't in this mess, but if you caused a winter vehicle crash like this or made it
worse, just know that I and everybody else hates you. 
To the person who caused a highway crash today on an icy winter highway:

I hate you. Intensely. Hundreds of other people really really hate you, too. Those hundreds of people who hate you were the ones caught in the traffic jam on the way to work this morning.

Because you are a stupid, selfish jerk who crashed into other cars, because you're stupid and selfish.

It's winter, so the roads tend to get icy. Especially after it snows and the temperature plunges to around zero.

To most people, I"m being Captain Obvious when I say that, but not you. Because you're oblivious. You are too trying to break land speed records, texting gossip to your boyfriend or girlfriend, swerving all over the place until you cause a crash.

My ire, of course, is not directed toward the unfortunate people who were driving cars that you smashed into. It's directed toward you.

I hope nobody got hurt. Except you. I hope you got hurt. Not hurt in a permanently debilitating way. Just hurt so you feel physical pain for the next few days. You deserve it.

Did you cause this crash because you subconsciously enjoy the attention? I know, I know. You didn't hop into your trash of a car or a pickup truck this morning and say, "I'm going to cause a big crash."

However, you have a sad, pathetic life and nobody pays attention to you, so maybe this is the way to get noticed? People will notice you now, when you drive like a maniac and crash into about five cars on the Interstate, right?

You caused the crash because you don't give a damn. You figure it's not your problem that you wrecked somebody else's car. Maybe injured them. Caused a five mile long backup that made lots of people late for work and school. Maybe made them lose some pay. Get chewed out by the boss. Miss an important final exam at the university.

You figure it's not your fault that police, fire and rescue personnel had to go out in this awful weather, perhaps risking their lives, to deal with morons like you who caused this crash.

Because it's never your fault, is it? Yeah, we shouldn't be on the road when you want to drive and text, drive and drink, drive and speed on ice, drive and do donuts on the middle of the Interstate. We should just let you have your fun and get out of the way, right?

Why were the rest of us driving so slowly, you ask.  So slowly you were forced to drive with your car's front bumper an inch from the rear bumper of the car in front of you, instead of backing off a bit.  You just had to crash into that car when he braked to avoid the snow plow, right.

Doesn't everybody understand they MUST drive dangerously fast, just to accommodate you? Doesn't everybody realize you're the most important person in the world?

You probably figure we are all in the way, that we shouldn't have been there when you spun your car out of control on the ice.

Now that you caused this winter highway crash, deep down you're loving it, aren't you? You're the center of attention. People are paying attention to you. It's negative attention, but hey, it's attention.

For once in your life, nobody is ignoring you. Feels good, doesn't it?

Again, I hope you got injured in the crash, just to take the shine off your moment of glory.

Now you can play the victim. Isn't that wonderful? You can blame the crash on someone else, when you tell all your friends about your adventure. How the other motorists didn't get out of your way. How the state DOT didn't clear the ice off the road.

Because, after all, to your mind, even if its 10 degrees with snow and freezing rain falling heavily, the DOT trucks are supposed to magically make the roads dry with not a speck of ice, right?

The DOT failed, in your mind. So you drove for the conditions you wish the roads were in, instead of the condition they actually were in.

Frustratingly for us, there are really no consequences to you for your driving this way in the winter. Sure, if the cops are in a particularly bad mood, they might write you a ticket. If you're especially unlucky, your insurance rates might go up a bit. You have to get your car repaired or replaced. Oh, boo-hoo.

But you're get off scot-free in terms of fixing the other cars you wrecked.   Making up for lost wages for people who weren't working, but stuck in the traffic jam you created on this snowy highway. Are you going to pay us for the time we need to deal with insurance, bring our cars into repairs, get caught up at work?

No. Because you don't give a damn. Life is all but you, isn't it?

Look, all of us make mistakes, and any one of us might absentmindedly cause a crash. But more likely, it's you, habitually texting, drinking, speeding and driving like you need to get to your destination within a millisecond that's causing this problem.

You caused the crash this morning, and you will cause other ones in the future as well, I'm sure.

I wish the cops would jail people who cause these crashes. I wish the courts would somehow make you pay off all the people you hurt or inconvenienced. Revoke your drivers liscence permanently.  Maybe put your name and picture on the Internet so you could be publicly shamed.

None of us know you, but as I said, we all hate you. I hope you somehow feel the hate rays.

Need an aspirin for your sore neck, asshole? Sorry, I took the last one for the headache you gave me.

Would it help if I tried to strangle you.? I won't. But many people want to.

To get an idea of how many stupid winter drivers there are out there, get a load of this Wisconsin DOT traffic cam on a snowy highway. Most people are driving carefully enough, but all it takes is maybe 10 percent of the motorists driving like maniacs to create ever worsening chaos:

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